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Wanaume: Mnapokosea kudhani mnawaelewa wanawake………!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Jun 14, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Jun 14, 2012
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    [​IMG]
    Wanawake hawahitaji ufumbuzi wanapoeleza madhila yao, shiriki nao kwenye hisia zao inatosha
    (Picha haihusiani na habari hii)

    Tafiti nyingi zilizofanywa kwa muda mrefu zinaonyesha kwamba wanawake hutofautiana kabisa kimaumbile na wanaume kiasi kwamba inakuwa kama vile ni viumbe wawili tofauti. Mtaalamu mmoja wa mahusiano ya watu John Gray anamuelezea mwanaume kuwa anatoka sayari ya Mars na mwanamke anatoka kwenye sayari ya Venus, akiwa na maana kwamba hawa ni viumbe wawili tofauti kabisa kimaumbile.

    Kimaumbile mwanamke na mwanaume hutofautiana katika kufikiri, hisia, kuyatazama mambo, kupokea taarifa, upendo, utashi na shukurani. Mwanamke hujali sana upendo, yaani kupendwa kuliko ilivyo kwa wanaume. Mwanamke huridhika na yuko tayari kuvumilia ‘yasiyovumilika' kama anahisi kwamba anapendwa na mwanaume. Ni jambo la kushangaza sana kwamba, mwanamke anapoambaiwa ‘nakupenda' huwa amepewa zawadi kubwa sana na kujisikia kuwa mshindi katika mahusiano.

    Wanawake huwa wanaamini katika kusikilizwa zaidi kuliko kupewa ufumbuzi. Ndio maana wanawake wanapokuwa pamoja wakipeana ushauri na kupeana moyo kuhusu matatizo ya kimahusiano yanayowakabili, hawatafuti ufumbuzi bali kutaka wenzao wawasikilize na kuwa pamoja nao katika madhila yao.

    Mwanamke anaposema jambo ambalo linamkera kumwambia mumewe au mpenzi wake, sio kwamba anataka apatiwe suluhisho, la hasha. Anaposema jambo hilo anategemea kusikia mume au rafiki akionesha kusikiliza au kujali na sio ufumbuzi. Kwa bahati mbaya wanaume huwa wanadhani wanawake hao wanatafuta ufumbuzi kwa yale wanayoyaeleza.

    Kwa mfano:

    Mwanamke anapomwambia mumewe au rafiki yake, "siku hizi naona kazi zimenizidi sana" hategemei kupewa ufumbuzi wa hilo, badala yake anataka kusikia mwanaume aua rafiki yake akichangia katika hisia (Kumbuka mwanamke hujali zaidi hisia). Katika hili kwa bahati mbaya mwanaume atasema, "punguza baadhi ya kazi" au "labda utafute msichana wa kazi" au "na wewe unajiumiza bure, kazi nyingine hazina hata maana….."

    Kwa kuwa mwanaume ni mtu wa ufumbuzi tu atadhani ndicho mkewe anachohitaji, wakati ukweli ni kwamba, mkewe anahitaji kusikilizwa tu- anahitaji mawasiliano. Mwanamke hapa angefurahi kusikia, "pole sana mke wangu, hebu njoo nikukumbatie kidogo…." Angefurahi kwa sababu anachotaka ni kusikilizwa ambapo kwake ndio thamani yake.

    Wakati mwanamke anapozungumzia matatizo yenye kumtanza, mwanaume kwa bahati mbaya hudhani kwamba mwanamke huyo anamlaumu yeye au anatafuta ufumbuzi wa matatizo hayo kutoka kwake. Kwa hiyo kwa kadiri mwanamke anavyokuwa na matatizo zaidi ndivyo ambavyo mwanaume anajihisi kulaumiwa. Mwanaume hajui kwamba kimaumbile mwanamke anapozungumzia matatizo au hofu zinazomkabili huwa anataka kusikilizwa zaidi kuliko kutafuta ufumbuzi.

    Mwanaume hajui kwamba mwanamke hujisikia ahueni kubwa kusikia tu jibu la ‘ahaa' au ‘oh, kumbe' kutoka kwa mwanaume, linatosha kabisa kumpa ahueni mwanamke.
     
  2. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Natamani huu mchinese wangu ungekua na kitufe cha 'like' however pokea like 100 kutoka kwangu!
    Women are emotional oriented while men are physical oriented.,when a woman approaches you with her propblems it doesn't necesarily mean she wants solutions,she just want sympathy and understanding!
     
  3. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Najua kuna ukweli hapo tena mkubwa sana.Lakini hapo kwenye kupendwa nina doubt,inawezekana binadamu wote wawili yaani mwanamke na mwanaume hatujijui vyema au tunabadilika kimtazamo na kihisia kulingana na mazingira au kuna tofauti kati ya binadam mmoja mpaka mwingine jambo linalopelekea hizi tafiti zisiwe za jumla au haziaply kwa kila mtu.Nimesema hivyo nikiwa ninamaana kuwa siku hizi sidhani kama ukimwonesha mwanamke UPENDO anakuelewa,nazungumza hayo kutokana na uzoefu.Huenda kila mwanamke ana jambo lake tofauti linalomvutia tofauti na mwanamke mwingine!
     
  4. Heart

    Heart JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 14, 2012
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    So so truue..ndo hapo utakuta mwanaume anasema wanawake ni head ache na walalamishi kumbe wala..kinacho hitajika ni kitu kdh tu.Sympathy..
     
  5. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Hawa wanawake wanaozungumza haya ni tofauti sana na tunaokutana nao mtaani!
     
  6. Kunta Kinte

    Kunta Kinte JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Mkuu Mtambuzi, nakubaliana na wewe kwa baadhi tu ya wanawake, wengi wao, narudia tena, wengi wao, wanachopenda kusikia toka kwako ni kitu gani utamfanyia- siku hizi wenyewe wana msemo wao 'hapendwi mtu, pochi lako tu', ni ATM kwa kwenda mbele. Sasa wewe akueleza tatizo lake umuambie ‘ahaa' au ‘oh, kumbe' uone kama kesho atatokea
     
  7. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #7
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    Kunta Kinte kwa bahati mbaya sana kama unasoma makala zangu juu ya ndoa huwa sizungumzii wanawake wanaowapenda wanaume kwa kuangalia wanachomiliki, hapa nazungumzia wanawake wanaoingia kwenye ndoa bila kuangalia kile mwanaume anachomiliki. Kama ningekuwa nawazungumzia hao wanaosema 'hapendwi mtu, pochi lako tu', basi lugha isingekuwa hii niliyoizungumza hapa.....................
     
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  8. U

    Uncle Jei Jei JF-Expert Member

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    Its true 100%! Wakati nasoma makala hii, nilikuwa na unganisha na matukio yawa-dada ambao nimewahi kuwa nao karibu nikauona ukweli!
     
  9. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Ila hawa ni wachache sana,nina miaka 3....Sijakutana na binti wa aina hii!
     
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  10. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 14, 2012
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    haya wanaume Mtambuzi keshawapa begipati, kazi kwenu.....
     
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  11. TaiJike

    TaiJike JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 14, 2012
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    Mtambuzi watu wengi wanahofia kuzungumzia matatizo yaliyopo ktk uhusiano wao. Na wanaona kuzungumzia tatizo kunaweza leta ugomvi, ukweli ni kwamba kuacha tatizo bila ufumbuzi wa njia ya mawasiliano mazuri hutengeneza tatizo.

    Kwa uelewa wangu wanaume wengi ni waoga kufanya makosa na baadaye kulaumiwa na wenzi wao au kuchekwa na hata kudharauliwa, ni vema kwa wanawake kutambua kuwa wanaume wanapenda sana kujilinda na matokeo ambayo yatawaletea aibu. Viumbe ninyi aina ya Adam mnapenda kupongezwa kwa mafanikio yenu, pia mnapenda kujiona kuwa mmefanikiwa kutufurahisha au kutupendezesha (ingawa si wote)
    Binafsi napenda kuonyeshwa kuwa ananijali kwa hali na mali.
     
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  12. mwaJ

    mwaJ Tanzanite Member

    #12
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Asante Mtambuzi huwa sitoki kapa ninaposoma threads zako kila wakati huwa kuna mapya ya kujifunza. Natumaini wangu atakuwa amekusoma.
     
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  13. shizukan

    shizukan JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 14, 2012
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    Mkuu Mtambuzi unakaribia kuharibu ndoa za watu. Hao unaowazungumzia ni wanawake wa kizungu ambao hisia zao zimejengwa kwa namna waliolelewa na sio malezi tunayopata kibongo-bongo.

    Akikwambia mtoto wa dada yake anapata shida kijijini usidhani anataka kuambiwa pole, maana yake anataka asikie ukisema aletwe aje akae na nyinyi. Na ujue hilo lisipofanywa ipo siku utapewa yote ya moyoni na ndio utajua alikuwa anarundika kusubiri wakati muafaka. "Kuna kitu ulishawahi kunisaidia zaidi ya hizo pole zako, ungejua nikitoka kazini napewa pole njia nzima hata usingepanua mdomo wako kuniambia maneno niliyoyazoea"
     
  14. Yummy

    Yummy JF-Expert Member

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    Inaelekea njia zako si za kawaida aseee.....hebu badilisha muelekeo.
     
  15. Yummy

    Yummy JF-Expert Member

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    Eiyer hebu jaribu kudumisha upendo kwa mpenzi wako uone kitakachotokea......ukiona ndivyo sivyo basi ujue umelamba galasha simpo!!!
     
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  16. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Jun 14, 2012
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    [​IMG]
    TaiJike kitu kimoja mbacho baadhi ya wanaume hawakijui ni kwamba wanawake wengi ni kama wasomi wa Saikolojia kwa sababu wanajua kushauriana na kupeana moyo kuhusu mahusiano yao ambayo yamekwenda kombo...... Kwa mfano unaposoma baadhi ya thread hapa zinazowekwa na wanawake kuelezea madhila yao, utaona, wakati wanaume wengi wataishia kusema tu "Pole dada." Lakini wanawake kwa asilimia kubwa wataonesha kuguswa na mkasa uliompata mwenzao na hata kutolea mfano yale waliyoshuhudia au yaliyowakuta ambayo yanafanana na yaliyomkuta mwenzao..........na mwishoni humfariji.

    Mara nyingi wanapojadili masuala haya huwa hawafichani lolote na hakuna mwenye kuona aibu au hofu kusema yale yanayomghasi. Hii ni kwa sababu wanawake huw akimaumbile wanaamini katika kusaidia na kusaidiwa, huwa hawaoni ubaya wa kuwasaidia wenzao walio katika tafrani ya kimahusiano
     
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  17. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #17
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    Mkuu shizukan , hivi katikam mfano wangu kuna mahali nilizungumzia habari ya ugonjwa kweli........ mimi nimezungumzia maswala ya kawaida sana ambayo yanahitaji a little bit comfort ...... sasa mwenzangu unakuja na kesi za ugonjwa tena. Duh! Kwa kesi kama hizo za mambo ya ugonjwa zinakuwa na namna yake ya ku-handle, inahitaji thread maalum juu ya hilo.
     
  18. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

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    Asante sana Mtambuzi unajitahidi sana kutupa mafundisho ya mahusiano
    Tushindwe wenyewe
     
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  19. mbalu

    mbalu JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Komejaga ngosha naona sasa pumu imepata mpumuaji na kama ni upele tayari una mkunaji, napenda sana darasa lako Mtambuzi obhe'ja nkoi.
     
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  20. mwaJ

    mwaJ Tanzanite Member

    #20
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Mkuu sikubaliani nawe hata kidogo! Yaan kwa jinsi ulivyoeleza, inaelekea una mke mkorofi sana.
     
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