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Wanaotoa wakitarajia kupewa katika mapenzi………..!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Aug 25, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Aug 25, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Leo ningependa kuzungumzia watu wa haiba ya kutoa. Hawa ni watu ambao nguvu yao iko kwenye kukidhi haja na utashi wa mahitaji ya watu wengine. kumbuka hapa sizungumzii kuhusu kuwajali watu wengine au kuwasaidia kwa upendo. Hapa nazungumzia mtu ambaye anajali kuhusu mahitaji ya wengine, ili apendwe au kuwa karibu na watu hao.

    Bila shaka umeshawahi kuona mtu ambaye yeye kazi yake ni kuwatimizia wengine mahitaji yao tu, huku akitegemea kwamba, watu hao watamtambua, watamsaidia na yeye kwa maana ya kulipa fadhila.
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    Kwenye uhusiano wa kimapenzi au ndoa, hali hii hujitokeza pia.

    Watu hawa hutoa sana kuliko wanavyopokea, jambo ambalo baadae huwafanya wahisi kuumia na kuonewa. Wanapoingia kwenye hali hiyo huwa na hasira na machozi mengi. Watu wanaotoa sana kwa wapenzi ili wapendwe, bila wao kupendwa, hutokea kuwa na hasira na kisirani. Kwa kuwa ninazungumzia uhusiano, ina maana kwamba, hawa watu ambao hupenda hadi wanajisahau kwamba, wangetakiwa kujipenda wao kwanza.

    Wanapenda ili nao wapendwe, jambo ambalo unakuta haliwezekani na hivyo kuwaingiza kwenye maumivu makali. Kama mtu akiwa na mpenzi wa aina hii ni lazima ataumia naye pia.Yeye hatajua ni kipi mwenzake anataka kufanyiwa, kwa sababu watu wenye haiba hii huwa hawasemi mahitaji au wanachotaka kutoka kwa wenzao, bali wao hutoa tu, wakiamini wapenzi wao watajua wanachotaka wao.
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    Mtoaji anaweka nguvu nyingi sana kwenye kujiweka karibu na mpenzi kwa kutoa. Tunapotoa sana na kujisahau wenzetu huingia kwenye mashaka. Huyu anayepewa huanza kumwona anayetoa kama msumbufu, kama mtu ambaye hawezi kusimama mwenyewe – mtegemezi. Mara nyingi kwenye uhusiano huwa kunatokea kasoro, ambapo mmoja anataka kuwa karibu na mwenzake huku mwenzake akitaka nafasi.

    Kwa mtu mwenye haiba ya kutoa, huwa anaumia sana kwa sababu kwa kadiri anavyotoa ili apokelewe ndivyo anavyohisi kukataliwa.Mara nyingi mtu mwenye haiba ya kutoa ni lazima atalazimika kwamba, mwenzake hajui kupendwa, kwa sababu yeye anampenda, lakini yeye haoni wala kujali. Ukweli ni kwamba mwenzake anajali na kupenda, lakini siyo kwa kiwango cha tatizo kama alichonacho mtoaji. Ni kwa kuwa ametoa sana, amefanya mengi sana kwa mwenzake hata yale ambayo haikuwa lazima kuyafanya, ili apendwe, kwa maana mpenzi wake naye afanye kama yeye, ndiyo maana anahisi mwenzake hajui kupenda.
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    Hebu chunguza utagundua kwamba, mtu ambaye anatoa tu, yaani anayejiumiza ili aonekane wa maana kwenye uhusiano mara nyingi hujikuta akidharauliwa na mpenzi wake. Ndipo pale wanaposema, "ukimpenda sana mtu, anakuringia." Suala hapa sio kumpenda sana mtu, bali ni kujipendekeza sana kwa mtu. Mtu ambaye ni mtoaji, anapaswa kujua kwamba, anapaswa kupenda bila kujali atalipwa nini. Hapaswi kufanya ili apendwe, hapana.

    Anapaswa kufanya kwa sababu anapenda. Kupenda haina maana ya mtu kujibadili ili kukidhi mahitaji ya mpenzi. Inabidi mwenye haiba hii aanze kujifunza kuwa na muda mwingine wa kuwa peke yake li kupunguza uwezekano wa kutoa na kutoa.Nikisema, "kutoa na kutoa," maana yake ni kwamba, kwa kuwa na mpenzi muda mwingi, mwenye haiba hii atalazimika kuingia kwenye kujipendekeza. Kuwa peke yake kunampa uhuru wa kujifunza kudhibiti maisha yake. Mtoaji anatakiwa kujifunza kusema mahitaji yake moja kwa moja kwa mpenzi wake. Mara nyingi watoaji huwa hawasemi mahitaji yao kwa wapenzi wao. Ni kama vile wanasubiri hao wapenzi wao watoe mahitaji yao.
     
  2. Asulo

    Asulo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 25, 2012
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    Ukweli mtupu hapo umenena..
     
  3. j

    jeneneke JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 25, 2012
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    Ndefu ngoja nilale ntasoma kesho
     
  4. Ruttashobolwa

    Ruttashobolwa JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 25, 2012
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    Daaah! Funzo tosha!
     
  5. Chauro

    Chauro JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 25, 2012
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    hujaacha neno!
     
  6. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 25, 2012
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    Kati ya vitu ambavyo vinaweza kukufanya uwe na maisha ya raha na furaha siku zote, ni ku-lower your expectations from the human race. Ninaamini i do good things for myself, vinanifanya nijisikie vizuri (selfish, huh?) na kujisikia binadamu ambae ninatimiza majukumu niliyoletewea hapa duniani. Mfano, nikikutana na mzee anahitaji msaada i will definetely do what i can without expecting any favours, so nikikutana na kijana nadhani ninafanya kwa mtazamo huo huo. Kama naweza kufanya mema kwa total stranges with no strings attached, je si zaidi kwa watu wa karibu? Somo kubwa kwangu ni kuwa reward and revenge ni kazi ya Mungu. Nikifanya jambo zuri kwako, najiwekea akina manake sijui guardian angel wangu atatokea wapi.

    Vitu vingine mpenzi anaweza kujisikia vizuri kuwa kafanyiwa, lakini asijue moyoni mwangu mostly najiwazia mwenyewe. Mfano, nitafanya usafi kwa sababu napenda kuishi mahali pasafi. Nitapika chakula kizuri kwa sababu napenda kupika na kula vizuri. That way, hata nikipika ukaacha kutokea, its your loss. I will enjoy the art of my gifted hands, kalaghabaho. So people around me, wanipende ama wasinipende, ni wanufaika tu wa uwepo wangu duniani.
     
  7. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 26, 2012
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    Safi sana dada King'asti (a.k.a Komandoo))!!

    Ndo maana siku zote nasema (ila wengine wanaishia kunishangaa), hata kama umempenda mtu kiasi gani, kwa nini ujisalimishe kwake kwa 100%....

    Na wengi wakigundua hivyo, lazima watakuona kama b.we.ge fulani!!

    Babu DC!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  8. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Hahaha babu bana, ati komando!
    Nilijifunza kuwa selfish kwa sababu ya kuona watu wako miserable toka niko mdogo. Nikasema hii biashara kichaa, lazma na mie niwe kichaa. Na ukichaa wangu unanisaidia. Nikikupenda ni kwa sababu im a good person, na i can tolerate you. Nikiona siwezi kukutolerate naepusha msongamanooo. Ndo maana nikisema siwezi kumpigania mtu wala kumuuliza mwanamke mwingine why unatoka na wangu, nope! nyumba kubwa huwa hataki kunielewa kabisaa
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  9. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 26, 2012
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    Hongera sana dada,

    Umebarikiwa na uendelee hivyo hivyo....Charity begins at home!!

    Babu DC!!!
     
  10. Thomas Odera

    Thomas Odera Verified User

    #10
    Aug 26, 2012
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    Mkuu umenana vyema. Katika kutoa ukitegemea kufadhiliwa wakati mwingine utapata shida sana na kuumia maana mwenye kupokea wala hana habari tena maana yeye anajua ya kuwa ni wewe uliyetoa na unajua sababu zako. Ahsante kwa somo hili
     
  11. MtamaMchungu

    MtamaMchungu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 26, 2012
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    Points taken, shukrani.
     
  12. V

    Von Mo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Aug 26, 2012
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    I thank God for your presence in the JF, You open my mind. "KILA SIKU NI SIKU YA KUJIFUNZA KWANGU" by Rihanna.
     
  13. c

    christmas JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Aug 26, 2012
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    thanx mtambuzi, najifunza mengi from u, usichoke tafadhali
     
  14. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Aug 26, 2012
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    kutoa sana ni dalili ya kutojiamini au udhaifu fulani...... Ndo maanawanaishia kuumia.......loh
     
  15. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 26, 2012
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    Ulichosema Dark City ni ukweli mtupu, thanks!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Aug 26, 2012
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    Naunga mkono thread yako Mtambuzi, nimependa uchambuzi wako kuhusu hii mada.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  17. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

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    Mi nadhani ni tofauti tu ya mtizamo, kuna mtu anadhani kupenda ni mpaka mpeane vitu, ndo maana akiwa anatoa halafu mwenzie asi-reciprocate anaishia kuumia wakati pengine huyo mwenzie hana mtizamo huo
     
  18. kamwendo

    kamwendo JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Aug 26, 2012
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    Nimejifunza kitu hapa...Thank Bw.Mtambuzi
     
  19. J

    JASX Member

    #19
    Aug 27, 2012
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    thanx i lean sth
     
  20. A

    Angeloos Member

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    Aug 29, 2012
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    Mimi nina wazo tofauti. Kwenye mapenzi mara nyingi usisubirie kupewa TUUUUUUUUU kila siku. Yaani hata pipi ikushinde kumnunulia mpenzi wako? Sio kweli, kupewa na kutoa ni vitU vinavyotawala kwenye mapenzi. Na ili mapenzi yawe LIVE lazima pande zote mbili zishiriki. Ndio maana ndoa/mahusiano mengi yanayumba maana mmoja atafika mahali ataona kama anajipendekeza kwa mwingine.
     
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