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Wanandoa jihadharini na kosa hili katika mahusiano.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Anold, Jan 13, 2011.

  1. A

    Anold JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 13, 2011
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    Maisha ya ndoa au mahusiano kwa ujumla ili yawe na maana ni lazima kuzingatia mambo kadha wa kadha. Nimekutana na watu wengi ambao kwa namna moja au vinginevyo, ndoa zao zina shida au kwa kiswahili cha mitaani niseme hazijatulia. Kuna sababu nyingi ambazo inaeleweka wazi kuwa ni vyanzo vya migogoro, kila mtu mwenye shida hiyo kama ukimuuliza atakwembia chanzo cha mtikisiko katika ndoa yake. Moja ya sababau hizo ni kukosekana kwa uaminifu, wivu/ kutiliana mashaka kati ya wanandoa, kutotimiza wajibu katika ndoa n.k. Ila kuna jambo muhimu ambalo ni tatizo kubwa kwa mahusiano ya aina yeyote ambayo nimeona ni vema tukumbushane.

    Migogoro au dalili za kutokuelewana zinapojitokeza kwenye mahusiano iwe ni wanandoa au marafiki/wapenzi, tahadhari kubwa iwekwe kwenye maneno au kauli ambazo wanaweza kuzitamka wakati wameghadhibishwa na tatizo lililojitokeza. Kuna maneno ambayo hayafutiki moyoni hata uombe radhi kwa namna gani, ni maneno ambayo mtu alielipokea neno hilo huwa likimsumbua wakati wote pengine mpaka mwisho wa maisha yake. Fikiria mtu kama mke/mpenzi wako atakuambu Mwanamke/mwaname gani wewe! Au neno kama "sijui nimeponzwa na nini!" au neno kama "wakiitwa wanaume/ wanawake na wewe utajitokeza?" neno kama "Malaya wewe" n.k hii ni mifano michache, ila lugha ya kebehi na dharau inapoelekezwa kwa wapenzi ujue hudhoofisha sana uhusiano na ujue wazi kuwa neno lako ulilokwisha litamka halitafutika moyoni mwa mwathirika na kamwe litakuwa likimsumbua. Neno lako hilo litakuwa kichocheo muhimu cha kuibua migogoro siku hadi siku hata baada ya miaka kadhaa ya maelewano. Nikichocheo ambacho huweza kukumbushia yaliyopita hivyo kufanya maelewano yawe hafifu hasa ukizingatia kama neno hilo linaukweli au ni neno linalomvunjia mtu heshima katika jamii. Fikiria kama mume/mpenzi wako atakuambia "wachawi wakubwa nyie" nafikiri maneno ya aina hiyo sio rahisi kufutika kwani yanamtizamo mbaya sana katika jamii.

    Hivyo basi wanandoa/wapenzi hata marafiki mjihadhari sana kutamka maneno ya kuumiza wapenzi wenu na mengine yanayofanana na hayo ili kujenga mshikamano, upendo pamoja na maelewano katika maisha yenu ya mahusiano. Nakiri wazi kuwa kuna kughadhibishwa ambako kwa hali ya kawaida kusingevumiliwa na ingehitajika kutoa tamko ambalo pengine lingesaidia kumkomesha mpenzi wako ila nataka nikuhakikishie kuwa silaha kubwa ni ‘kukaa kimya bila kuonyesha dharau'' Silaha hii ni muhimu sana katika mambo mengi na ukiitumia nakuhakikishia utashinda. Hakuna ushuhuda wowote ambao umewahi kutolewa kuwa lugha ya kuudhi na dharau au lugha inayomvunjia heshima na utu wa mtu mwingine kama wapenzi n.k imeshawahi kusaidia kujenga mahusiano. Kinyume chake maneno hayo ni silaha ya hatari ambayo yakitamkwa hata kwa sekunde moja huweza kusambaratisha hata uhusiano uliodumu kwa mika 80. Hivyo chunga sana kauli zako kutokuelewana kunapoibuka katika mahusiano n.k.
     
  2. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 13, 2011
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    Brilliant and wise,thank you Anold once again......:smile-big:
     
  3. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2011
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    Thanks ushauri mzuri
     
  4. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 13, 2011
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    My daughter hiyo avatar,ni busu au msunyo???sijakuelewa kabisa.............lol
     
  5. Mama Brian

    Mama Brian JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2011
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    Asante sana Anold ubarikiwe!
     
  6. Questt

    Questt JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 13, 2011
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    so brave.................100% TRUE
     
  7. tama

    tama JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 13, 2011
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    Asante sana kwa ushauri mzuri.
     
  8. L

    Lady G JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 13, 2011
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    Asante sana. Anold, hyo ni kweli imenitokea hv karibuni, naona 2mesameheana lkn naona aibu, mana nilimjibu vby sana my lovely swet
     
  9. K

    KIDUNDULIMA JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 13, 2011
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    Umesema kweli kabisa Anold. Mi nilikorofishana na Mpenzi wangu ingawa sikumtukana lakini yeye aliniporomoshea matusi kiasi cha kunivunjia heshima. pamoja na kwamba nilikuwa nampenda sana yule binti lakini nikikumbuka yale matusi mwili uylikuwa unanisisimka maana nilikuwa siamini kama yalitoka kinywani mwake. Nilika miaka miwili nikitafakari namna ya kurudiana naye lakini yalinishinda nikaamua kumwacha pamoja na uzuri wake wote
     
  10. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 14, 2011
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    great... quite basics...!!!
     
  11. s

    shosti JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    Ubarikiwe ndugu.
     
  12. Ambassador

    Ambassador JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 14, 2011
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    Point!
     
  13. Jaluo_Nyeupe

    Jaluo_Nyeupe JF-Expert Member

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    Asante kwa ushauri ndugu Anold, ni kweli kabisa kukaa kimya kunaweza kusaidia sana hasa pale ambapo una jazba na huwezi tena kuzungumza kwa busara.
     
  14. triza

    triza Member

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    Jan 14, 2011
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    Umesema kweli, asante sana kwa ushauri wako anold.
     
  15. c

    chetuntu R I P

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    Ubarikiwe mpendwa uzidi kuleta ushauri wa hekima jamvini.
     
  16. tzjamani

    tzjamani JF-Expert Member

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    Ninaamini hii principle inaapply pia kwa marafiki wa kawaida au na hata wa jinsia moja au hata maofisini.
     
  17. Mallaba

    Mallaba JF-Expert Member

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    ahsante ,ushauri mzuri.Jawabu la upole hufuta hasira kali na kutuliza ugomvi
     
  18. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #18
    Jan 15, 2011
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    asnte mkuu..
     
  19. C

    CHESEA INGINE Senior Member

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    Jan 16, 2011
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    Pamoja na yaliyosemwa hapa, tukumbuke kitu kimoja nacho ni hiki. Maisha ya ndoa yatadumu tu ikiwa wanandoa wataweza kuushinda udhaifu utakaojitokeza baada ya ndoa! Moja ataanza kunywa pombe alikuwa hanywi , hapa siri ni kuhakikisha anatoka ameshiba kisawasawa umwaage vizuri. Hii inasidia mtu aliyeshiba vizuri hanywi pombe nyingi! Kuna mengi ya kushinda viudhaifu vitakavyokitokeza! Uvumulivu! Hasa kwa wakristo!
     
  20. NILHAM RASHED

    NILHAM RASHED JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 16, 2011
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    shukran..:love:
     
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