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WanaJF nimshauri nini rafiki yangu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Blaki Womani, Mar 3, 2011.

  1. Blaki Womani

    Blaki Womani JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 28, 2011
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    Jana usiku amekuja rafiki yangu ameolewa na ana watoto 2 wiki mbili zilizopita mumewe alikuja na mgeni mwanamke nyumbani bila taarifa kwa mkewe akamtambulisha ni mwanafunzi walisoma nae wakati akiwa Uholanzi. Mkewe hakuwa na lakufanya akamkaribisha mgeni na kumwandalia chumba cha kulala. Huyo dada ametokea Afrika ya Kusini anasema wakati wakisoma alipenda kutembelea Tanzania na aliomba huyo mume awe mwenyeji wake na alipofika walikwenda kutembelea mbuga za wanyama kwa muda wa siku 4 wakarudi na yule dada ameondoka amerudi kwao South Africa. Sasa yule mke anasema ana wasiwasi yule ni kimada wa mumewe amejaribu kumwuliza mumewe kuhusu huyo dada lakini mpaka sasa mumewe anasema ni rafiki amependa kutembea Tanzania
    ananiomba nimpe ushauri maana yeye haamini jibu
    nisaidieni wanaJF
     
  2. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 3, 2011
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    I see ....nitakuja baadae nina maswali kibao kwa hawa wanandoa
     
  3. Blaki Womani

    Blaki Womani JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 3, 2011
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    Nakusubiri
     
  4. tzjamani

    tzjamani JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Oct 9, 2010
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    Kazi kweli kweli,

    Kama hiyo ndoa ina mawasiliano mazuri hiyo kitu ilitakiwa kuwa na taarifa mapema kuhusu huyo mgeni na safari ya kutalii.
    Hilo dume nalo noma kweli anachukulia hiyo kitu kidogo but assume naye mke akaja na classmate wake mwanaume ....then safari ya ngorongoro siku mbili. Atajisikiaje?

    Mshauri huyo dada waongea fresh na mume kutegemeana maisha yao wanayoishi. Na kama kosa moja wasameheana maisha mazuri yaendelee.
    Mpe pole. Maana yake nimepiga picha ndio mke wangu nafanyia hivyo..noma dhamira ingenisuta sana.
     
  5. K

    KIDUNDULIMA JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2010
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    Ili kumaliza ugomvi huko mbugani wangeenda wote. pia mmewe alitakiwa amtaarifu mapema mkewe kuhusu ujio wa huyo mgeni na ratiba yake hapa tanzania hata kabla hajaja huku TZ.
     
  6. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Dec 24, 2010
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    awe na imani na mumewe! Kwan kuna nn kmemfanya ahisi co rafk ya mumewe na ni nymba ndgo? Wkt mwngne wadada2nakarbsha stress wnyewe! Aamin alchoambiwa.
     
  7. Jahmercy

    Jahmercy Member

    #7
    Mar 3, 2011
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    Huyo hanaiman na mumewe kabisa, sasa si ameshaambiwa kwamba huyo ni mgen amekuja kutembea tz? kwanini asiridhike na hilo? aache kumfikiria vibaya mume wake.
     
  8. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
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    Hiyo ndoa haina network kabisa.

    Yaani mgeni atoke SA afike bongo na ratiba za mbugani bila mke kufahamu??

    Hapo naona mnasubiri muambiwe Njoo tuzungumze kwa hisani ya watu wa marekani.

    Mawasiliano ndani ya nyumba ni muhimu jamani eehkkk
     
  9. Safina

    Safina JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 3, 2011
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    Hapo kwenye kivuli, mtoa mada amshauri huyo rafiki yake kwamba, achukulie poa tu, halafu baada ya miezi sita au mwaka mume wake akiwa ameshasahau hayo mume aliyoyafany na yeye atafute mtu ambaye hana hata mausiano naye kimapenzi, namaanisha amchukue ndugu yake wa kiume, ambaye mume wake hamfahamu, aje nae amwambie walisoma wote, amekuja kikazi mkoa huo, wao walipo, namaanisha wanapoishi wao, kama ni Dar, Ar, Bk, Tanga n.k hana ndugu yake mkoa huo kwa hiyo anaomba afikie hapo kwao, wala wasiende sijui kutembelea mbuga za wanyama wala nini? Halafu aone kama jamaa atakuwa mkali, akiwa mkali tu, basi ajue yule dada aliyekuja kuwatembelea hakuwa rafiki tu bali kulikuwa na la ziada na hapo sasa ndo na yeye amwambie ukweli kwamba huyo hawakusoma wote wala nini? Bali ni ndugu yake na amefanya hivyo makusudi hili aone ni jinsi gani yeye (mama) alivyoumia kipindi kile cha wakati ule alivyomleta yule mgeni. Jamaa akimkalibisha vizuri bila shida yoyote basi ajue hata yule dada hakuwa mpenzi wa jamaa. Hila kwa kweli tukio kama hili likikutokea inahitaji moyo sana kukabiliana nalo. Mpe pole rafiki yako na husiache kumpa huu ushauri.
     
  10. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 3, 2011
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    Hivi atakua na imani gani wakati ameletewa mgeni bila taarifa yoyote?
     
  11. meddie

    meddie JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Oct 21, 2010
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    Kwanza sijui hii ni ndo ya namna gani ama ya dhehebu gani? Lakini mshauri atafute mtu/watu (watu wazima) anaowaona ni mfano mzuri wa wanandoa waweze kuongea nao pamoja na kuwashauri katika yafuatayo:
    1.definition ya kitu ndoa na wajibu wakila mmoja ktk ndoa
    2. how to maintain effective communication ndani ya ndoa
    3. Jinsi gani wanandoa (mke na mme) wa-relate wa watu wa nje...wazazi, marafiki nk
    4. athali za kuwa bwana na mtwana ktk ndoa
     
  12. B

    Buke Senior Member

    #12
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011
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    Hapo kwa kweli inatia mashaka, wanandoa lazima wajuzane mambo yanayohusu maisha yao.
    Kwa mtazamo wangu, huyo mume ana mawasiliano na huyo bidada, ndo maana waliweza kupanga hayo mambo yooote mapema kabla ya kuja.
    Sasa kama hawana mahusiano ya kimapenzi, kilichomfanya ashindwe kumfahamisha mkewe hiyo mipango yote ni nini?
    Hapo ndipo kwenye kitendawili, kwa upande wangu, nisingeelewa hiyo biashara hata kidogo.
     
  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Kutokumfahamisha kwamba kuna mgeni haitoshi kumtilia wasiwasi!Kama kweli hakumfahamisha kwasababu anatoka nae hata kwake asingemleta!Angemlaza hotelini aage kiujanja waende zao safari!Inawezekana huyo mzee haoni kama mkewe ana sauti kwenye ndoa yao!Nyumba ni yake..maamuzi ni yake kwahiyo anaona anachoamua yeye ndicho..haoni haja ya kumshirikisha mkewe!Huyo mama badala ya kutuhumu asiyoyajua angemuuliza tu mumewe tena kwa utaratibu..Kwanini hakumjulisha kwamba kutakua na mgeni?Hilo tu!
     
  14. Joseph

    Joseph JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 3, 2011
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    Katika ndoa yoyote ile ukiona mume hatoi ushirikiano kwa mkewe kama kumpa taarifa za nini kinachoendelea katika maisha yao ujue hapo kuna tatizo.

    Inawezekana ikawa ni kweli kuwa hawana uhusiano kama mke anavyodhani ila kwanini mume alishindwa kumueleza mkewe kuwa kuna mgeni anakuja?

    Kama ni suala la kutembelea mbuga za wanyama kwanini hakwenda na mkewe?

    Hapa inaonesha kabisa kuwa si jambo hilo tu hata katika maisha yao ya kawaida mwanaume hujiamulia tu mambo yake na hata ya familia yake bila kumshirikisha mkewe jambo ambalo ni hatari katika ndoa.

    Kwa ushauri ni kuwa asijenge sana mawazo ya kuwa mumewe anamsaliti bali anatakiwa aelewe toka kwa mumewe ni kwanini hakumwambia toka mapema kuwa kuna mgeni,je mkewe akifanya kama alivyofanya yeye atakuwa radhi kukubali?
     
  15. birungi

    birungi JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 3, 2011
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    kama huyo rafiki mgeni angekua mwema angemshauri huyo mwanaume amchukue na mekewe waende mbugani wote watatu wakafanye utalii.
    anajua mwenyeji wake ni mme wa mtu kwa nini asishawishi wasafiri wote,kwa kua limeshatokea sina la kushauri.
     
  16. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 3, 2011
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    Taarifa ilikuwa ni kitu muhimu full stop. Ina mana gani nyumba muishi wote na watoto wenu ila mwanandoa mmoja awe na maamuzi ya kwake??...hata angekuwa ni mgeni wa kiume, ni vizuri kuwasiliana kuwa mtakuwa na ugeni nyumbani!..
     
  17. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Amweleze tu huyo mume wake kwamba hakufurahishwa na hilo jambo, hata kama ni rafiki yake wa kawaida tu.

    Akiwa kama mke hakufanyiwa vema, kuletewa mgeni bila taarifa hata kama angekuwa mwanaume!!

    Kwa upole tu amweleze kama huyo baba anayo hila mbaya na huyo mgeni itajulikana. Na kama hana nia mbaya au mahusiano mabaya nae itajulikana.

    Ataangalia ni jinsi gani atakavyo kubali au kukataa hiyo hoja yako yakutofurahishwa na hilo jambo. Ndipo ufanye maamuzi mazuri ya kumshauri abadilike, au aseme ni nini malengo yake akiwa kama baba wa familia na wewe mama wa familia yake!!

    Ajipe moyo, Mungu anayo majibu ya maswali yake yote. Namuombea awe na hekima na akili ya kike/kimama katika kulifanyia kazi hili la swala. Mwisho wa hayo yote Fiuraha na Amani itawale katika numba yao.
     
  18. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #18
    Mar 3, 2011
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    well said Lizzy
     
  19. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #19
    Mar 3, 2011
    Joined: Sep 30, 2009
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    mawasiliano ya huyo rafiki yako na mumewe yapoje? kama huwa hawawasiliani basi asitegemee hili pia angemwambia. labda huyo mume kazoea kufanya mambo yake bila kumshirikisha mkewe, kitu ambacho siyo kizuri. asifikirie kumleta huyo dada home ndo ni gf wake (ingawa pia inawezekana).
    Mshauri arudi tu home. kama alishamuuliza na alikataa, basi hana haja ya kumwuliza tena
     
  20. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 3, 2011
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    ukweli mtupu. Mgeni kashakuja, kalala kaondoka halafu ndio anatafuta ushauri.
    Wadada wengine sijui wanakunyaga akili. Lol!
     
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