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Wakwe wanamnyima raha kwenye ndoa yake, ushauri please

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by marianne, Mar 20, 2011.

  1. m

    marianne Member

    #1
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: Mar 18, 2011
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    Habarini friends,

    Hapa ofisini nina mfanyakazi mwenzangu, tumezoeana na kuwa very close friends. Yeye kaolewa huu mwaka wa tano na mumewe kwao wanajiweza kifedha (wakwe), karibu kila siku ananung'unika jinsi wakwe zake na mawifi wanavyoingilia ndoa yao ikiwemo mipango yao ya maendeleo. Wakwe zake na mawifi wote wanaishi mkoa mmoja kinachomkera ni kutwa mama, baba mkwe na dada wa mume kuja hapo kwao na wanakaa hadi usiku. Faragha yao ni usiku na hana uhuru na mumewe. Mbaya zaidi hawawezi kununua kitu chochote cha ndani mfano redio bila kuwashirikisha wakwe japo malipo wanalipa wao. Au hawawezi kwenda hata outing au safari over the weekend bila ruhusa ya wazazi wa mume.
    Mwanzoni alivumilia sana ila siku zinavyozidi anakosa raha na mumewe keshaongea nae yeye anasema haoni tatizo la nduguze.

    Je hii ni kawaida? Kwa nini wakwe wanataka kujua kila linaloendelea kwa wawili hawa? Afanyeje ili walau awe na muda wa kutosha na mumewe bila kuhofia wakwe kuwakuta?
    Binafsi nimemshauri wahamie mbali au ajaribu kuongea na mdhamini wao wa ndoa au hata mchungaji wao kwa ushauri zaidi, yeye anaogopa maana anahofia wakwe kumchukia.

    Naomba mawazo yenu ili nimuokoe rafiki yangu, muda wote huwa mnyonge akifikiria ndoa yake.

    Thanx in advance
     
  2. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2009
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    Aongee na mumewe na amweleze kinagaubaga anavyojisikia na hiyo hali inayoendelea, kama anampenda kwa dhati atamsikiliza na kilifanyia kazi, kama alioa kwajili ya kuwafurahisha ndugu zake hapo ndo patakuwa patamu
     
  3. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 20, 2011
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    Nadhani huyo mwanamume bado ni mtoto kifikra kama haoni tatizo la kutokuwa na faragha na mke wake na ndio maana kila kitu mpaka aombe ushauri, huyo rafiki yako kazi anayo!!!
     
  4. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: Jan 6, 2011
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    Atakuwa mtoto wa mwisho huyo, mimi nachukia wanaume wasiokuwa na maamuzi, pia wazazi wanaoingilia ndoa za watoto wao,mtu umeshaoa na wewe unaenda kwako na unakuwa unafanya maamuzi makubwa yako binfsi na family yako. napenda sana mume wangu anavyodili na waatu kama hao.
    Awe serious amwambie mumewe jinsi anavyokosa raha sababu ya hao nduguzzenaamini atamwelewa.
     
  5. a

    asakuta same JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 20, 2011
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    mpe pole sana ,sisi waafrika extended family ni mambo ya kawaida lakini siyo ndugu wanaingilia ndoa mpaka inakuwa kero.
    hali hiyo inahatarisha furaha na uhai wa ndoa yao.aongee na huyo mume wake ,once and for all arekebishe hiyo tabia au atumie marafiki zake wamweleze na kumshauri aache huo utoto wa mama anaouendekeza.
     
  6. m

    mareche JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 20, 2011
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    me nashauri wahame hapo na watafute sehemu ya kuishi mbali na wazazi ila ajaribu kumshauri kabla ya kuchukua uamuzi:plane:
     
  7. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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    Tatizo lipo kwa hao wanandoa wenyewe na pengine sio hasa kwa hao inlaws. Wanapataje uhalali wa kuingilia affairs za nyumba ya watu wengine? Ni wazi wanandoa hao (na hasa mwanaume) hawajaweza 'kutoka na kuwaacha wazazi wao'.
     
  8. L

    Leornado JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 20, 2011
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    Inawezekana mdau, inachukua muda kwa baadhi ya wanaume kuachana na wazazi wao na kuwa mwili mmoja na mkewe.Pengine ndio sababu ya huyo mume kuomba ushauri wa kila kitu kwa wazazi wake. Ila miaka mitano mingi kama hajirekebishi basi kazi yaziada inahitajika au mshauri wahamie mbali na wazazi.
     
  9. pmwasyoke

    pmwasyoke JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: May 27, 2010
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    Akina dada huwa wanafanyiwa kitchen party, lengo mojawapo likiwa kuwapa somo la namna ya kuziishi ndoa.

    Ingehitajika shughuli ya namna hiyo kwa akina kaka ambapo pamoja na mengine, wangefundishwa jinsi ya kuhusiana na wazazi wa pande zote mbili baada ya ndoa. Ndoa nyingi zimevunjwa au kukoseshwa raha na wazazi wasiokubali kuwaachia watoto wao wanapooa/olewa.
     
  10. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 21, 2011
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    Eti kutwa kwa mtoto wenu mnatafuta nini na nyie kwenu mnapo. wazazi wengine bana wao wangebanwa hivyo wangekubali?
     
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