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Wajua jinsi ya kumdhibiti mpenzi anayepiga mizinga?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 8, 2010
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
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    Baada ya hayo sasa tunarudi katika mada yetu ya leo, nazungumzia juu ya tabia za baadhi ya watu walio katika uhusiano kupenda kuwapiga 'mizinga' sana wenzi wao. Tabia hii ipo zaidi kwa upande wa wanawake, ingawa siku hizi hata wanaume nao wameingia katika mkumbo huu.

    Siyo ajabu kumsikia mwingine akisema; "Mimi nina kibuzi changu bwana kila ninachotaka kinanipa, kinajua kisiponipa nitakitosa tu, yaani nakichuna kama sina akili nzuri, maisha yanaendelea. Yaani ni full kujiachia."

    Si hivyo tu, wapo wanaume ambao ni kero kwa wapenzi wao, yaani wamegeuka wanaume kama mabinti kwa tabia zao za kutegemea kupewa kila kitu na wapenzi wao hata kama wanao uwezo wa kuvipata vitu hivyo kama watajishughulisha.

    Unaweza kumsikia mwanaume akisema; "Aaah! Yule demu kazimika ile mbaya na mapigo yangu, kila ninachotaka ananinpa anajua akinizingua namtosa, hadi mshahara wake akipata ananigawia. Yule ndiyo mwanamke wa kuwa naye bwana!"

    Ninachotaka kusema leo ni kwamba, mapenzi ya kweli hayana uhusiano wowote na pesa, ukiona mpenzi wako anaweka pesa mbele na ukishindwa kumpatilizia anachokitaka anakasirika, jua penzi lake lina walakini, hakupendi bali anataka kukutumia kisha kukuacha.

    Katika mapenzi hatukatai suala la kusaidiana, mpenzi wako akiwa na shida fulani akaomba umsaidie, kama unao uwezo msaidie na kama huna mueleze kwamba huna kisha muangalie jinsi gani mnaweza kusaidiana katika kutatua tatizo linalomkabili.

    Itakuwa sio busara kama utakuwa na tatizo lakini ukaona kwamba ukimweleza mpenzi wako ataona kwamba unamchuna. Wapenzi wanaopendana kwa dhati hawachunani bali wanasaidiana, na hili ni kwa pande zote mbili.

    Kinachokera ni kutoishiwa na matatizo na wakati mwingine unakuta kuchuna kwingine ni kwa mambo ya starehe. Yaani sasa hivi umemuomba mpenzi wako vocha, hajakaa vizuri umemtaka akija akuletee chipsi mayai, baadaye unataka akutoe ?out?, bila kujali kwamba wakati huo mpenzi wako ana fedha au hana. Katika mazingira hayo unadhani mpenzi wako atashindwa kukuchoka?

    Akikuacha kwa sababu hiyo utamlaumu nani? Fanya mabadiliko tafadhali. Kimsingi ukiwa na mpenzi mwenye tabia ya kutaka kukuomba pesa kila wakati tena katika matumizi mengine ambayo sio ya msingi, vipengele vifuatavyo vinafaa sana kwako...

    MWELEZE UKWELI
    Kama huna pesa wakati mpenzi wako anakuomba, mueleze wazi kuwa huna na kamwe usijaribu kutoa ahadi ambazo huenda ukashindwa kuzitimiza. Usiwe mtu wa kutoa ahadi za uongo, mara nitakununulia hiki na kile. Mwanaume hatakiwi afahamike siku ana pesa au hana. Maana kuna wenzangu ambao siku za mishahara wanabadilisha hadi kutembea! Mwanamke akijua hilo naye ataongeza ?mizinga? ili afaidi.

    Ishi kawaida, kuwa mkweli kwake siku zote, utakapokuwa mkweli kwake atakuheshimu kwa uwazi wako. Siku zote zilingane, uwe una fedha au huna asijue, hilo litakusaidia kwa kiwango kikubwa sana katika maisha yako ya kimapenzi.

    JENGA MAZINGIRA YA YEYE KUKUSAIDIA
    Jambo la muhimu ambalo wanaume wengi wanalisahau ni kutokuwafundisha wapenzi wao wajibu wa kutoa! Utakuta kila kitu ananunua yeye, hata nauli ya daladala analipa, wakati mpenzi wake ana kazi yake. Ifike wakati kwa makusudi, mwanaume ampe majukumu ya kufanya mpenzi wake, hiyo itamsaidia mwanamke kujua namna pesa zinavyokuwa hazitoshi na akaweza kubana matumizi.

    BANA MATUMIZI
    Kuna wanaume wengine tangu wanatongoza wanakuwa ni wafujaji wakubwa wa pesa kwa kutoa ofa na zawadi kibao. Hii inaweza kumjengea imani mpenzi wako kuwa wewe unazo! Wakati akiwa anaamini hivyo, ukweli ulionao moyoni ni kwamba huna fedha za kutosha.

    Unachotakiwa kufanya mapema ni kudhibiti matumizi yako hata kama pesa zinakuwepo. Ifahamike kuwa kutoa hakusababishi uhitaji, kadiri unavyotoa ndivyo unavyoongeza mahitaji. Weka maisha yako katikati usijidai tajiri kumbe ni kapuku tu.

    Kwa kumalizia niseme tu kwamba, mapenzi si kukomoana, mapenzi ni kusaidiana. Jenga tabia ya kumsaidia mwenzako ili siku moja na wewe ukiwa na tatizo akusaidie. Kitu unachotakiwa kukiepuka ni kuwa tegemezi hadi unakuwa kero. Kumbuka kumpiga 'mizinga' mpenzi wako kila mara kunapunguza mapenzi hivyo epukana na tabia hiyo.

    NAWAPENDA SANA!!!
     
  2. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 8, 2010
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
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    Njia sahihi ya kuishi na ‘kademu ka mizinga'


    "Dear umepitia wapi naomba wakati wa kurudi uninunulie pizza, nywele za bandia na nyama choma" Kabla hujajibu anakuunganishi; "Samahani nilitaka kusahau naomba unitumie vocha nataka kuwasiliana babu". Unamaliza kuitikia kwa unyonge anahitimisha "uwahi mpenzi tutoke"

    Sasa mwanamke wa namna hii ndiye ninayetaka kumzungumzia leo katika safu hii. Maana nimesikia rafiki zangu wengi wakikimbilia kutunga uongo wa nimesafiri, sina muda nimebanwa na kazi, kumbe anaogopa akikutana na mpenzi wake tu basi hamsini elfu italala. Sasa na yeye kwa kuwa usawa unambana anaamua kukacha gemu, ingawa ana njaa ile mbaya.

    Mambo hayo yapo sana, karibu wanaume wengi wanakabiliana nayo, wawe wameoa au wale ambao wanawapenzi tu. Uchunguzi unaonesha kuwa, kuna baadhi ya wanaume wanapoteza mapenzi kwa wake zao kwa sababu ya kutwikwa mzigo wa matumizi. Wakaamua kutoa talaka au kusitisha uhusiano, si kwa sababu hawapendi bali wamezidiwa na mizinga. Lakini dawa ya hili ni kusoma vidokezo zifuatazo:

    USIWE KIMWAGA
    Kuna wanaume wengine tangu wanatongoza wanakuwa ni watoaji wakubwa wa ofa na zawadi, hii inaweza kumjengea imani mpenzi wako kuwa wewe unazo. Unachotakiwa mapema ni kuthibiti matumizi yako hata kama pesa zinakuwepo. Ifahamike kuwa kutoa hakushibishi uhitaji, kadiri unavyotoa ndivyo unavyoongeza mahitaji. Weka maisha yako katikati usijidai tajiri kama Bill Gates.

    ACHA UDANGANYIFU
    Inashangaza wanaume wengine hufanya juhudi ya kuongopea wenzao kwa kuwaambia wana mali hii na ile wakati ni waongo. Ni makosa kufanya hivyo sema ukweli, kwani ni vema ukajishusha kuliko kujikweza. Usiwe mtu wa kutoa ahadi za uongo mara nitakununulia hiki na kile. Mwanaume hatakiwi afahamike siku anapesa au hana. Maana kuna wenzangu ambao siku za mishahara wanabadilisha hadi kutembea! Mwanamke akijua hilo naye ataongeza mizinga ili afaidi.

    MFUNDISHE MPENZI WAKO KUTOA
    Jambo la muhimu ambalo wanaume wengi wanalisahau ni kutokuwafundisha wake zao wajibu wa kutoa. Utakuta kila kitu ananunua yeye, hata nauli ya basi analipa, wakati mkewe anapika vitumbua! Ifike wakati kwa makusudi, mwanaume ampe majukumu ya kufanya mpenzi wake, hiyo itamsaidia mwanamke kujua namna pesa zinavyokuwa hazitoshi na akaweza kubana matumizi.

    USIKUBALI KILA OMBI
    Wapo wanaume ambao hawajui kukataa, kila wanachoombwa wanatoa, eti wanaona aibu kusema SINA! Akiombwa vocha analeta, kuku, kila kitu, hata kama hana fedha atakopa! Lakini pamoja na ukarimu huo, mazingira yanayojengeka kwa mwanamke ni ya tofauti ambayo yatakufanya siku huna kitu unyimwe penzi au wewe mwenyewe ujifanye umesafiri. Hili halitakiwi hata kama unazo wakati mwingine mwambie huna!

    LINGANISHA OMBI LAKE NA MIPANGO YAKO
    Kama mwanamke atakuomba 10,000 kwa mfano, akilenga kwenda kusuka, usiwe na majibu ya SINA kila siku, ataokuona mbahili. Njia nzuri ni kulinganisha ombi lake na mipango yako. Mwambie "kweli nina 25,000, lakini nilipanga tuzinunulie fenicha, sasa nikikupa sijui itakuwaje?" Au "sawa mke wangu, lakini nilitaka tupige rangi chumba chetu" Utashangaa anaridhika kukaa bila kusuka na maisha yanakwenda kwa amani. Lakini uoneshe kweli mipango yako usidanganye ukasema mimi nimekufundisha. Tukutane Alhamisi kwenye Gazeti la Amani!
     
  3. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 8, 2010
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    hahahahah..ni kama vile wanawake tu ndio wanaomba!
    Mbona wanaume nao ni mabingwa?

    Asante lakini kwa kutoa masomo haya yenye kulenga kurekebisha jamii na mahusiano.
     
  4. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 8, 2010
    Joined: Jan 29, 2009
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    Here's a little story that I must now tell you
    Take it as a lesson, parasites don't deluge
    Here's a little story that I must now tell you
    Take it as a lesson, parasites don't deluge

    This is a true story that happenned to me...

    Back in the days I met this chick around the way
    Chat a lil bit, cuz around the corner she stayed
    Cutie was fly, couldn't pass her by
    I threw my hook, line and sinker, I can't lie
    She played hard to get, with the usual hesitation
    And I can't forget, she was divine intervention
    She kinda fell for me, we rendezvous'd at The Place
    That's where my homies, Pompidou and Scarface
    Chilled, and I was illin for the killin
    Bought her a couple drinks, like I'm dealing for the billing
    Next thing you know, the chick is with some guy
    No pressure, on the sly I said bye
    But not before trying to leave with her
    She said no, she is with some superstar
    I said OK, that's how you roll, my bad
    Caught up between feeling like a nice guy, and a stud that's sad
    So I rolled back to Kijiweni
    Caught some deep sleep, check my beep and jumped in the dip
    Next day relate the story to my man Ambweni
    As I was doing so, behold and lo
    I can't believe my eyes, the same ho is at the door
    Asking for a hook up, some financial help
    5,000 shillings back then, right on the step
    I said yo, you lost your chance, try your superstar
    Tricks like that ain't gonna get you that far
    And be thankful you had me, such a gentleman with benevolence
    Cuz I know some guys, who would resort to violence
    I'm kinda busy with my projects, go find another sucker
    I really wanted to fvck her, but yo I had to duck her
     
  5. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 9, 2010
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    ingawa wanaume wapo wanaopiga mizinga kwa Akina mama Mishangingi au kwa jina lingine Majigola wa Mjini lakini asilimia kubwa ya wapigao Mizinga ni Wanawake na ndio kazi yao kubwa
     
  6. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #6
    Feb 9, 2010
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    Kweli wanawake wamezidi bana aaaaah
     
  7. drphone

    drphone JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 9, 2010
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    no comment hawa wamama wamezidi sana
     
  8. Lisa

    Lisa JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 9, 2010
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    mbona hata wewe huwa unaomba sana mm sisemi?
     
  9. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

    #9
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    Ukiwa bahili utapigwa tu mizinga!
     
  10. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #10
    Feb 9, 2010
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    Wala hujakosea lakini hukumalizia mimi huwa naomba nini. Mimi huwa naomba kile kitamu kama asali kilicho katikati ya mwali ambacho watu hutolea mahari na chenye chumvi chumvi kama maji ya bahari.....
     
  11. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 9, 2010
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    shemeji hata wewe unaombaga basi HAHAAAAAA LOL!!.....................mambo shemeji nilikuwa nakusubiri BTW
     
  12. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #12
    Feb 9, 2010
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    Subalkheri mpenzi shemeji. Hali yangu njema kabisa na nimeamka buheri wa afya kama ilivyo ada.

    Nyie mmeamkaje leo? Nkwingwa naye hajambo? Sijamwona bado...

    Ooh pia ni kweli na mimi huombaga kama alivyobainisha Lisa. Ila naye katoboa siri...eti namwombaga yeye khaaaaaaaa
     
  13. Emanuel Makofia

    Emanuel Makofia JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 9, 2010
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    :confused:baaada ya kugharamia ka unanunua gari/kiwanja?????????:mad::mad::mad:
     
  14. Who Cares?

    Who Cares? JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 9, 2010
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    sasaa wewee mzee..kwanini hii mistari unakaa nayo kichwani??...mbona mwenzako mr. chix wa lost boyz aliyapa jina madini yake "renee"..na akapiga mawe ya maana tuu na bata kwa kwenda mbelee...acha UPUMBAFUUU...tafuta kijana akutengenezee midundo u-LAY-in hizi VOCALZ...watu tununue ili umpate huyo hoo..anayependa mastaa...,....ahahahahahah
     
  15. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 9, 2010
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    Hahahahaahhhaaaa,

    Mi na ghost write kwa wakali, sitaki publicity.
     
  16. Who Cares?

    Who Cares? JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 9, 2010
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    ila kaka tukiweka maskhara pembeni..UNAANDIKA MISTARI IPO HEVY HUWEZI KUPIMA.....ingiza biashara ndani yake...wape bongoflava wameze wauze kitaa
     
  17. MKATA KIU

    MKATA KIU JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Heshima kwenu wadau wote,

    Nina imani mmeshakutana na hao watu ambao popote mkikutana baada ya story mbili tatu lazima akuombe hela, kusema kweli wananikera sana na wengine ni watu wazima kunizidi but kisa unapigana na resi zako kila siku wanakutafuta ili wakuombe hela tu,

    imagine mtu unakutana nae kwenye starehe yeye kaja kivyake na wewe kivyako but anakuomba pesa eti amekwama hajui ataondokaje, wengine misibani, kwenye vikao vya harus na kwingineko yaan akukuona tu mzinga.

    Na ukimwambia huna anatangaza yule ndugu ana roho mbaya anafikiri kipato chako siku zote hakina budget,

    kusema kweli kama mpo humu muache hiyo tabia maisha yamekuwa magumu msipende kuwa tegemezi wakati mna viungo vyote vinafanya kazi, pigania maisha yako mwenyewe usipende kuomba omba na misaada kila siku,

    Mwingine akiona una pesa tu kwenye wallet, kabati, gari au sehemu yeyote anaanza kulia shida zake anafikiri hiyo pesa haina kazi Haipendezi jitu zima kuwa omba omba
     
  18. Upcoming

    Upcoming Member

    #18
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Roho mbaya!!
     
  19. Ruhazwe JR

    Ruhazwe JR JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Aug 16, 2012
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    b.we.ge kabisa,kwanini usiwaambie unaogopa nin,unajiskiaje mwenzio anashida alafu wewe unafuja hela kwenye pombe na kuhonga wanawake?je kama umeona hana kazi kwanini usimfundishe kuvua samaki pale anapokuja kuomba samaki?acha ubinafsi,hapo ulipofika kunawatu walijinyima kwa namna moja au nyingine hadi ukawa hapo ulipo.upo hapo kwa neema ya Mungu si kwa uwezo wako.shen..zi kabisa.alafu siku nyingine usilete pumba zako hapa chitchat.kumbuka
    BLASSED IS THE HAND THAT GIVES THAN THE ONE THAT TAKES- by Luck dube
     
  20. King Kong III

    King Kong III JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Kutoa ni moyo hawakupenda kuomba!!
     
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