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Wachaga na vimobitel

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Shukuru, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. Shukuru

    Shukuru JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Inasadikika kuwa kati ya wachaga 10, 8 wanaitumia simu kama ifuatavyo...

    1. Huangalia salio mara kwa mara ili mradi aonekane yupo bize na kimob chake.

    2. Kila mara hujisikia hamu ya kupiga sim kwa marafiki zake anaowapenda ila huishia kubip hata kwa namba asizozijua yaani za kujitungia tu.

    3. Huangalia salio kila mara anapotaka kubip na hata baada ya kubip huangalia salio tena ili kuwa na uhakika na closing balance kwenye simu yake.

    4. Hungalia salio hata baada ya kupigiwa

    5. Mara zote huweka dole gumba sehem ya kukatia sim hata kama amepigiwa na hufupisha maelezo na kuwa wa kwanza kuikata simu kama yeye ndio kapiga vile na baada ya hapo kama kawaida huangalia salio tena..
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2009
  2. Nyati

    Nyati JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Hawa ni wachaga ama wapare?. Ndiyo maana napokea simu za kubeep nyingi toka moshi. nikiwapigia wanasema samahani tumekosea namba.
     
  3. Eeka Mangi

    Eeka Mangi JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Si kweli hata kidogo. Huo nakiri kuuita uongo mtupu!
    Ama wewe ni mpare nini? Mtani wa wachaga?
     
  4. Shukuru

    Shukuru JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Ndio maana yake yaani mtu anajianzia tu.. 0713blahblah then anabip..
     
  5. Eeka Mangi

    Eeka Mangi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Halafu anayekubeep unamuuliza wewe kabila gani? Mi mchagga kha acheni utani mwingine ni wa ngumi.
     
  6. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #6
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    Pole Eeka Mangi... shukuru mchokomozi kama nini siku hizi... teh... teh... teh... teh... teh..!

    Nakumbuka kule Kibong'oto... jamaa mmoja wa kichaga, alikuwa amekaa sana Dar. Kipindi kile maarufu DSM (tamka. Dizim). Alikuwa anataka kwenda haja msalani. Akawa anaelekea kwenye migomba na kopo lake la maji... mwenzie akawa anamshangaa... uvumilivu ukamshinda akaamua kumuuliza...!
    " Aisee mathawe unakwenda msalani na kopo la maji... ina maana utakawia sana mpaka usikie kiuu...!?"

    Masawe akamjinbu:
    "Hapana kakaaa, nikimaliza nataka kupiga m4t4ko Dekii"
     
  7. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Acha uta aiseee!!! mmesidi kututania wachaka msee wangu!!!
     
  8. C

    Chukunchu Member

    #8
    Apr 29, 2009
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    We shukuru tutake radhi mapema maana hutajua siku wala saa!
    Kwanza you just dont know masalio yaliyopo kwenye simu za wachaga ndo maana unachonga sana.
    Tena wewe tunakufahamu mzee wa tafadhali niongezee salio nalafu unaleta mdomo gani! Tutakuwa hutukutumii salio sisi.
    Koma kabisa we! Na ukicheza tutakuhamishia kwenye zeutamu uungane na babayako!
     
  9. Kandambilimbili

    Kandambilimbili R I P

    #9
    Apr 29, 2009
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    hapo kazi ipo........
     
  10. s

    sikukuu Member

    #10
    Apr 29, 2009
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    " Aisee mathawe unakwenda msalani na kopo la maji... ina maana utakawia sana mpaka usikie kiuu...!?"



    Hi hi hi hi hi hi hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
    umenichekesana sana mpaka mbafu sinataka kufunjika
     
  11. Black Jesus

    Black Jesus JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Yote hayo tisa ,kumi imetokea siku moja jamaa tupo sehemu akajifanya anongea na simu tena akiwa na vicheko na maneno mazuru huku akiendelea na maongezi hayo mara simu hiyohiyo anayoongelea ikawa inaita alipigwa na butwa huku akionekana na uso wa aibu.kwa hiyo tuwache mambo ya kujionesha yasiokuwa na mana tunapokuwa na simu za mkononi.
     
  12. Shukuru

    Shukuru JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 30, 2009
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    Usifunjike mbafu aisee mathawe.....

    Basi unaambiwa kuna jamaa mmoja wa kichaga alipatikana na hatia ya kumgonga kijana mmoja na baskeli, jamaa akapelekwa mahakamani..ila kwa bahati nzuri akakuta hakimu anayeendesha kesi yake ni mdogo kiumri na ni mchaga mwenzake... hakimu akamtaka jamaa aelezee ni kivipi amgonge kijana wa watu na baskeli.. mtuhumiwa akaanza kuelezea.

    Mtuhumiwa: Unasikia msee..... mi nilikuwa napita njia'..(hakimu akamalizia "njiani", jamaa akaendelea) na nilikuwa nimebeba galoni la pombe, tena yote imemwagika kwa kweli... tena baskeli ilikuwa spii'..(hakimu akamalizia "spidi") afu ni kwenye mteremko..sasa nilipojaribu kumkwepa na yeye akanikwepa kwa hiyo akaja upande wa'..(hakimu akamalizia "wangu, afu malisia maneno aisee nitakufunga aisee") jamaaa akamjibu hakimu kwa kusema..."sawa hakimu nimekuele'..) ile anasubuiri hakimu amalizie "wa"...

    Hakimu: Nenda jela miesi sita meku...hakuna kesi tena.
     
  13. Albedo

    Albedo JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 30, 2009
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    Mpare mmoja wa Gonja alikutwa amekufa kwa Njaa, jamaa walipomsachi wakamkuta mfukoni ana laki Saba za Kununulia Mabati!
    Ubahili Utawaua
     
  14. Eeka Mangi

    Eeka Mangi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 2, 2009
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    Kweli huku uchagani shughuli,,,,juzi tu huko Kishimundu mahakama ya mwanzo,,,
    Jamaa alikuta mbuzi wa jirani yake wanakula mazao yake, mwenye shamba akachukua panga akafyeka kama mbuzi tano hivi, akagawia watu wale.
    Mwenye mbuzi akakimbilia polisi. Kule jama akafunguliwa shtaka kuharibu mali. Kwa kuwa dhamana ni haki ya mtuhumiwa basi jamaa akapewa dhamana. Siku moja kabla ya kupandishwa kizimbani akamtembelea mjombake ambaye anamwamini sana kwa masuala ya sheria.
    Basi mtuhumiwa akatoa story iilivyokuwa.
    Mjomba akamwambia akisomewa shtaka asikubali kamwe kuwa alifanya hivyo.
    Basi kesho yake mahakamani akasomewa shtaka mahakamani
    Hakimu: Mshitakiwa ni kweli au si kweli
    Mshitakiwa akamwangalia mjombaake akamuuliza ngaerikia mjomba (yaani niitikie mjomba?)
    Mjomba: Irikia ufungo miaka 15 ku****mayo (itikia ufungwe miaka 15 Kum***yo)
    Hakimu akachanganya mjomba na mshitakiwa wakaenda kwanza miezi 6 kwa lugha chafu halafu kesi ya awali bado palepale.
     
  15. bm21

    bm21 JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 2, 2009
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    |Ha ha h haaaaaaaaaaaaa, teh teh teeeeeeee, mkuu acha vibweka. |Hi nayo ilitakiwa ijitegemee maana si mchezo imetulia sana
     
  16. bm21

    bm21 JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 2, 2009
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    kwi, kwi, kwi kwi, teh teh teh, thhhhhhhh
     
  17. Kisiwa S

    Kisiwa S Member

    #17
    May 2, 2009
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    Utani huo.
     
  18. Shukuru

    Shukuru JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 4, 2009
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    naona hii ungeipeleka kwenye ukumbi wa uchumi..... na sio jokes



    teh teh teh
     
  19. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #19
    May 4, 2009
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    Umenikumbusha kisa cha Mzee wa mmoja wa Kipare aliyekuwa akiishi karibu na Benki, baada ya kushawishiwa kwa muda mrefu na ndugu na marafiki zake aweke pesa Benki kwa usalama wa pesa zake, kwa taabu sana akakubali kuweka pesa Benki.
    Kuanzia siku hiyo alizoweka hizo pesa, Mzee wa Kipare usiku kucha anakesha dirishani na filimbi mdomoni, kila akipita mtu karibu na hiyo Benki, Mzee wa Kipare heshi piga filimbi kuwaamsha walinzi piii... piiiii....!
    Wote woga anaogopa, wasije wezi wakaiba pesa zake.... lol!
     
  20. Kamende

    Kamende JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 4, 2009
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    Aiseee!!!

    Acheni hizo ninyi!! Kwani ni wachaga tu wanaangalia salio? Watu wengine wakiangalia aaaah. Lakini aangalie mchaga ishakuwa nongwa. Eti ni ubahili.
    Huu ni uonevu jamani.
     
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