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uvumilivu...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by gfsonwin, Jul 13, 2012.

  1. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    habari za ijumaa wana MMU.

    Leo nimekuja na hii mada hapa iitwayo uvumilivu hasa katika maisha ya ndoa. Mara nyingi sana nimekuwa nikisema ndoa yahitaj uvumilivu lakin sidhani kama naeleweka ipasavyo juu ya hili neno.

    wataalamu wa lugha watanisaidia kuidefine vizuri bali mimi naomba nieleze nguvu ya uvumilivu panapo mapenzi ya kweli.

    Jamani kwanza naomba mnielewe kwamba kwenye mapenzi ya dhati uvumilivu hutangulia, na hii hutokana na ukweli kwamba upendo huvumilia. Panapo upendo ule usiosukumwa na mambo ya nje bali ule wenye msukumo wa ndani tu uvumilivu hutangulia na hii ni kwasababu kuu mbili nazo ni:-

    1) uvumilivu huona mapungufu ya mwenza wako kama changamoto wala si kama chuki.
    2)uvumilivu hauhesabu gharama za kazi,upendo,kujitolea ama hela.

    kwasababu hizi mbili siku zote mimi huwa naishi kwa kuvumilia mbele upendo ukafuata nyuma. na hii ni kwasababu ninapenda kwa dhati na wala si kwababu ya msukumo wa vitu ama kitu.

    naona niifupishie hapa nisiwachoshe kwa maneno mengi mkashindwa kudadavua. nakaribisha maswali na maelezo ya nyongeza.
     
  2. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    In any relationship, iwe ndoa, urafiki,familia, hata kufanya kazi pamoja uvumilivu una nafasi kubwa sana. Ndio maana hata baadhi ya familia wakigombana AMA kutofautiana ni matusi ambayo hata kwenye kamusi hayamo. Kuna coaligues hawana dog, kila kitu ni kusutana na kupaza sauti. Hata ndoa pia Kama ilivyo kwenye kazi na familia kunahitajika kiwango fulani cha uvumilivu. Ila kuna mambo yasiyohitaji kuvumilia Kama serial cheating na physical abuse. Hapo hata iweje, ni mwendo mdundo aisee.
     
  3. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Kwanza habari zako za asubuhi..........'mooo. Narudi
     
  4. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Uvumilivu katika ndoa ni moja ya msingi wa kuendesha hilo gurudumu.

    Ni rahisi sana kuvumilia pale ambapo huo uvumilivu umelenga katika visababishio ambavo vinakwamisha urahisi wa maisha yenu ya ndoa kama vile hali ngumu ya maisha, labda mmoja wenu kupoteza kazi, au mmoja wenu ni mgonjwa kwa mda mrefu n.k.

    However in the long run ni ngumu kuvumilia infinately yale ambayo yanakuwa fueled na umakusudi wa mwenza wako. Kama kukukosea heshima, kubadilika ki tabia from a good hubby/wife to a worse one, fujo na kero kero nyingi nyingi tu.

    gfsonwin where do you cross the line kuwa "sasa nimevumilia vya kutosha!" na inakuwaje pale ambapo unakuwa umechoka na inakunyonya nguvu zako na kukuathiri kijumla?
     
  5. Mahmetkid

    Mahmetkid JF-Expert Member

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    Imetulia na pongezi kwako wewe kwa kuweka uvumilivu mbele, upendo unafuata.
     
  6. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Rafiki yangu siku moja aliniambia anataka kumuoa mwanamke ambaye atafanana na mama yake!! nikashangaa, ingawa sikuwa nauona huo uzuri wa sura wa mama yake..lakini baadaye ndipo akanifafanulia kuwa anamaanisha mwenye tabia kama ya mama yake......Yaani "mvumilivu".

    Yaani maisha yawe up/ down haoni tofauti yeyote.

    Lakini gfsonwin mimi naongezea ingawa upendo unachukua nafasi yake lakini pia mtazamo wa mwenzi kuhusu ndoa ni muhimu.............ulishawahi kukutana na mke wa mtu anakwambia "aah yule mume wangu nampenda lakini akinizingua naondoka" na anaweza kuyarudia hayo maneno mara kadhaa na kwa watu kadhaa as if kwake ndoa ni kitu kidogo sana....Unaingia leo ukijisikia kutoka unatoka.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    King'asti samahani naomba nikuulize haya kwa nia ya kujenga tu wala si kwa nia nyingine yeyote. hivi unaamini kwamba uvumilivu uliobebwa ndani ya hekima na busara huweza kumbadilisha hata shetani kuwa malaika? ukitaka kujua soma kisa cha sauli ambaye ni paulo kwasasa katika biblia.
     
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  8. Chauro

    Chauro JF-Expert Member

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    Kwangu inategemea unavumilia nini?sio vitu vyote vya kuvumilia hata kama ni upendo ulikusukuma kuwa hapo.
     
  9. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

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    thread nzuri gfsonwin , ila mimi binafsi naweza kuvumilia mambo yaliyo nje ya uwezo wangu mf. ugonjwa, ajali nk, lakini dharau/cheating/abuse hapana. Naamini upendo first then uvumilivu. as long as you love me then we will make through hell and back.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  10. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    my love Neiwa hapo ndipo penye changamoto, katika roles za uvumiivu swala la kuchukulia mapungufu ya mwenzi wako kama changamoto limo. soma hizo namba1&2. hii ni kwasababu kosa lolote alifanyalo mtu usiliweke kuwa chuki hata siku moja liweke kuwa changamoto kwako na linapokuwa ni changamoto basi hutolifanyia kazi kwa hasira wala hamaki.

    kwanza utatulia kisha ufikirie njia sahihi ya kutatua na hadi inapofikia kwamba now its over unakuwa tayari umesha set benchmark. mara nyingi sana tunashuhudia watu wana break na baada ya muda mfupi wanaanza tena kuumizana kwangu mim hii ni kwamba tatizo lao toka mwanzo halikuwa changamoto bali lilikuwa ni chuki.
     
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  11. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    my bro platozoom kwanza sifa nzuri ya mama ambaye kweli anaipenda familia yake na anapenda ustawi wa familia yake atavumilia tena akiwa na furaha. siongelei unafki ama kujikosha lakin kuna mambo ambayo nimeyapitia na nikayavuka na nisingekuwa mvumilivu leo hii ningekuwa miongoni mwa wanaosema navumilia vikinishinda naondoka.

    ndoa inapaswa ichukuliwe kama kitu cha heshima sana tena kisichohitaji mzaha, manake ni ibada kamili. ifike mahali hasa mabinti wabadilike wajue kwamba ikiwa sisi tunamkosea Mungu atupaye uhai kwakiasi hiki lakin anasamehe na kutuvumilia je sisi tumeshawah kukosewa nusu yake? hakunaga binadamu shetani banaa sote tumeumbwa kwa mfan wa Mungu mapungufu na udhaifu wetu pia Mungu aweza kuubadilisha. maisha ya ugomvi kudhalilishwa yanaumiza sana lakin ani uvumilivu wenye hekima na busara ya kimungu utakao kuvusha hapo.
     
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  12. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

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    Kwenye ndoa kunatakiwa heshima sio uvumilivu vipi uvumilie kama mke wako au mme wako anaenda nje ya ndoa.
     
  13. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Nice topic gfsonwin.
     
  14. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

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    gfsonwin nimekupata vema, asante kwa darasa, useful indeed.
     
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  15. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    Chauro hivi umewah kujiuliza ni nani mtu wa kwanza unayemshirikisha tatizo linapoingia ndani mwako as a wife? je wamshirikisha rafiki,jirani, Mungu, mama, jf, mwl wako, mshenga wako, kitabu, gazeti, majarida, mitandao au chochote kingine?

    na swali la pili kwako wewe ni jambo gani ambalo ni boarder line kwenye uvumilivu?
     
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  16. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    MwanajamiiOne nakutafuta uvumilivu umenishinda.....sijui inapaswa utushinde ila naona kama nashindwa vile
     
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  17. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    my bro hivi inamaana wewe unataka ukutane na malaika? una yaweka wapi mapungufu ya kibinadamu?
     
  18. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Mamaa, uvumilivu wa mungu kwa bin adamu ni tafauti kabisaa na uvumilivu wangu kwa binadamu ambae sijamuumba mie. Ndo maana Yesu, kwa kuwa alitwaa mwili, aliweza kubinua meza hekaluni kwa hasira. Ni lazima katika kila kitu ufike mahali ubinue meza. Uvumilivu aliosema mpendwa hapo juu wa kuugua, kukosa hela ama kazi etc hauna neno as long as muhusika anakubali kutoa ushirikiano. Mfano: huwezi kumvumilia mwanaume ambaye ameamua hataki kufanya kazi for the rest of his life! Ama ambae anaumwa na hataki kabisaa kutumia dawa ama kufuata masharti ya daktari, hapo tough love itahusika.

    Ila kwa mifano yangu yangu hii ya kupigana na serial cheating ukiendekeza uvumilivu utaishia kupata crown ukiwa kwenye jeneza. Ulimsikia yule mama wa mwanza alieburuzwa na mumewe kwa gari, akafariki this week baada ya mateso ya miezi kadhaa! Unavumilia serial cheating hadi ukimwi unakupata?
     
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  19. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    thanks ma big sister. ila na wewe weka mchango wako hapa ili uwajenge wengine.
     
  20. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Hahahahha we Kaizer uvwe mvumilivu
     
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