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Utavumiliaje penzi hili?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by UJUKUKU, Jan 8, 2012.

  1. U

    UJUKUKU New Member

    #1
    Jan 8, 2012
    Joined: Jan 6, 2012
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    This is my true story,
    Nina familia. Nilipokuwa mtoto nilikulia maisha ya matatizo sana, sababu mojawapo ikiwa kufiwa na wazazi wangu na hivyo kusoma kwa tabu sana. Lakini namshukuru Mungu alivyonipigania na kufanikiwa kimaisha. Kwa sasa nina kazi nzuri na mshahara mzuri. Tatizo langu lipo kwenye mapenzi. Sikuwahi kufanya mapenzi na mwanamke yeyote maisha yangu mpaka nilipomaliza chuo kikuu, siyo kwa sababu nilipenda ila tangu utoto wangu nilikuwa napewa ushauri wa vitisho sana kiasi cha kuogopa sana kufanya sex kabla ya ndoa. Nilipomaliza chuo nilipata rafiki ambaye hakuwa mtu wa town sana (rural areas), mpole, mvumulivu, hata nikikasirishwa tuu analia. Hakuwahi kufanya mapenzi maishani mwake mpaka siku tuliyofunga ndoa and you can see the coincidence of all being virgin. Mimi nilikuwa na advantage kidogo kuhusiana na mambo ya mapenzi kwa sababu ya mazingira ya mjini kama Dar niliposomea, nilikuwa naona hata movies za x kwa marafiki zangu, magazeti na mengineyo.

    After marriage, nikagundua kuwa mwenzangu ameshikilia misimamo ya dini sana na hajui mambo mengi kuhusu mapenzi. Ikawa kila kitu alitegemea mimi mimwelekeze, nikawa nakuja na magazeti kama ya udaku, movies etc. Akaanza kunikomalia kuwa nazipata wapi hizo movies, akawa hataki hata kuangalia. Tukiwa kitandani hawezi kunyonya mashine yangu. Katika maandalizi nikishamridhisha hisia zake akisema start ndani ya dk tano au less than 10 minutes ameshamaliza anaanza kuniambia nimalize. Na nikishamaliza hawezi kurudi mara ya pili, labda mpaka next day. Tatizo lingine mwanamke siyo mbunifu hata chumba hakipangiliwi vizuri, mtoto akijikolea kwenye nepi anaitoa na kuirusha uvunguni mwa kitanda, chumba kinaanza kunuka, nikimwambia anasema ataitoa asubuhi wakati bafu iko hapo ndani hapeleki huko.

    Napata wakati mgumu sana kimapenzi kwani kila ninapomueleza kile kinachonifurahisha anasema Mungu hataki kunyonyana, nikitaka tuendelee kuchezeana ili tuweze kwenda next round anasema Mungu anataka tuwe na kiasi. Nashindwa kuvumilia kwa sababu akishafika kileleni yeye anaacha hata kuwa active anakuwa idle anasubiri nisome gazeti niondoke zangu.

    Kadiri muda ulivyoenda, tayari nimeshateleza na kutoka nje, nikakutana na binti ambaye hana mume. Historia yake aliishi na mwanamume bila kufunga ndoa, yule mwanamume alikuwa mfanya biashara na alienda kwa mganga kumfanyia mambo akawa kama mjinga fulani haondoki hapo anamtunzia biashara yake. Kwa maelezo yake huyo mwanaume hajawahi kwenda naye roundi mbili, ni moja tuu. Na muda mwingi anakuwa kwenye safari zake za kibiashara. Wakati fulani wakaja watu wakamfanyia maombi ndo hiyo mitego ya huyo mwanamume ikakosa nguvu binti akarudi kwao akiwa na mtoto mmoja.

    Ukweli ni kwamba raha niliyokutana nayo kwa huyu binti sijapata kuiona na sioni tena thamani ya mke wangu. Linapokuja suala la maisha ya kawaida namkubali sana mke wangu ila linapokuja kufanya mapenzi, hisia zote zimehama. Huyu binti ni mtundu wa mapenzi na ananifikisha kilele cha furaha yangu. Nimekuwa nikifanya hili kwa siri kubwa na mpaka sasa halijajulikana. Ila tatizo ninalolipata sasa nikiwa kwangu ili niwe na mke wangu ni mpaka yeye anianze la sivyo hakuna kitu. Upande wa pili inaonekana yule binti ameshamwambia mama yake maana namwona mama ameanza kunichangamkia sana.

    Nina hofu sana hatima ya hili penzi, niko njia panda ya penzi hili. Nipeni mawazo yenu
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 8, 2012
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    dah................
     
  3. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 8, 2012
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    dah nini toa ushauri bwana
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Kazi unayo.
    Sasa kamwambia mama yake, una mpango wa kumuoa?
     
  5. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Aisee!! Unamkosea mkeo kwa kusaliti penzi. Endelea kumfundisha taratibu kwani wewe mambo yote uliyajua kwa wakati mmoja. Sahivi elimu ya mapenzi hata mitandaoni inatolewa, mwambie anatakiwa kuwa mbunifu. Mungu anapenda watu waridhishane eeh hapendi wapeane nusunusu!
     
  6. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 8, 2012
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    mambo ya ndoa magumu,sijui nikulaumu au nisikulaumu?mpaka umeyaweka hapa ina maana umeshachoshwa.jamani mbona mke mvivu hivyo?hata kwa mtoto wake kumshuhulikia mwenyewe ni ngumu.kwa nini atumie vigezo vya dini hivyo?jee hakufundwa?

    Watu na dini zao ila 6 kwa 6 wanashuhulika kwani wewe na yeye ni kitu kimoja.ushauri wangu huyo wa pembeni jaribu kuachana nae,maana unapozidi kunogewa na nje wa ndani kwenye 6 kwa 6 utazidi kumuona hafai, usione aibu kwa kuwa unampenda mkeo,zungumza na ndugu yake wa karibu{ingawa inataka moyo} hebu kuwa mkali kidogo mwambie hiyo ni haki yetu, turidhishane.

    Au mwambie mambo yakiwa hayo hayo,utaongea na ndugu zake wa karibu,suala la 6 kwa 6 kwa mume na mke hakuna kuoneana aibu mautundu yote mnaokuwa nayo, mnayamalizia hapo.
     
  7. BRO LEE

    BRO LEE JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Unatakiwa ufahamu hata mbuyu ulianza km mchicha, unatakiwa kutumia hekima zaidi na uache ubinafsi. We umesema mkeo alikuwa bikra na anatokea maeneo ya mashambani unachotakiwa ni kumchukulia kwa upole, mfundishe taratibu na ujali hisia zake. Iwapo kuna jambo halifanyi km unavyotaka ww jaribu kumwelewesha.

    Maisha ya ndoa ni zaidi ya hilo tendo la ndoa, na hayo mambo ya kuangalia pornograph halafu m-practice, yanaweza kusababisha tatizo kubwa zaidi, make your own love making scene.

    Huko ulikokimbilia kwa lengo la kujiridhisha kingono kunaweza kukusababishia tatizo jingine kubwa, jenga nyumba yako. ufumbuzi wa tatizo upo mikononi mwako.
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Tatazo lako ni kwamba hujawahi kumchallenge mkeo. Akishakwambia biblia inasema hivi unanyamaza tu, na yeye hahangaiki zaidi ya hapo kwasababu anaamini ameshakuweka kiganjani.But I know what you can do. .

    Kama unataka kutengeneza mahusiano mazuri na mkeo kwanza achana na huyo binti wa pembeni alafu rudi kwa mkeo. Ukisharudi tumia biblia hiyo hiyo kumuonyesha kwamba wewe kama mume wake mnatakiwa mridhishane na hairuhusiwi kunyimana (mistari ipo kama unaitaka sema), umuulize wapi biblia inakataza oral sex (hamna). . . . kuna vifungu vingi ambavyo vinaweza vikabadili msimamo na mtazamo wake kuhusu swala zima la ndoa kama kweli anaiamini biblia na sio anatumia kukukomoa.

    Kuhusu nepi kama hupendi kweli anavyofanya onyesha msisitizo. . . amka wewe, ichukue upeleke huko bafuni. Huwezi kumwelewesha mtu hupendi uchafu ilhali akiutupa na wewe unauangalia tu. Kuwa mfano kwake, badilika wewe ili aone tofauti pale inapowekwa bafuni na urahisi wa kuipeleke. Sio unalalamika tu bila kuwa msaada.
     
  9. Judgement

    Judgement JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Lizzy ! Umekuaje? Mtendee haki ya kumpa ushauri ndiyo anachokiomba hapa naona na wewe umemchapa swali ! Naamini unamudu mada hii, mi kidogo bado natafakari.
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Hilo swali ni la msingi J. . . maana kama kamuahidi/au kamuacha binti aamini anaweza kuolewa hiyo sio haki kwa binti (kama hajui ni mume wa mtu) wala kwa mkewe.
     
  11. Mkasika

    Mkasika JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 8, 2012
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    That is your story line, what is her story line we compare notes before u throw yourself in a train rail. And after all you live life once enjoy to the top.
     
  12. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Mhhhh! Kisugar :):)...BAK likes this statement :)....Mkuu pole sana haya mambo ya kutoridhishwa na nanihii ndani ya ndoa mara nyingi ndio yanakuwa chanzo cha watu kwenda nje hasa baada ya kujaribu kuongea na mke/mume vile ambavyo unavipenda kufanyiwa/kufanya katika kunanihii vinakuwa havipo. Jaribu kuongea na mkeo bila kumuonea haya labda atakuelewa, ila kwa maraha unayoyapata nyumba ndogo sidhani kama itakuwa rahisi kwako kuyaacha maraha hayo. Kila la heri katika kujaribu kupata araha zaidi toka kwa mkeo.
     
  13. Twilumba

    Twilumba JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Pole Mkuu!
    Hakuna mahusiano magumu kama ya ndoa if imetokea u-mesup, I can see majuto unayokutana nayo now.... pole sana

    Linapokuja suala la mapenzi na uhusiano hasa wa mke na mume kwa kweli it need a ver seriousness kwenye rescuing any situation ambayo inaweza kupelekea kuvunjika kwa mahusiano hayo, maana any mesup hapo inawaathiri wewe na yeye na mbaya zaidi mtoto ambaye hana hatia kabisa!

    Mbaya zaidi tatizo ninaloliona kwako ni kukaribisha mahusiano ya nje na mbaya zaidi ni kuwa umepata tast
    e ambayo ndo inakukamilisha kwenye uwanaume wako (raha ambayo u never got before) kwa maelezo yako not
    proven!

    Ushauri
    Kwanza kabisa jua kuwa love and love making is an art na nyinyi ndio wasanii, ninavyooamini mimi ni kuwa sana yoyote inahitaji sana ubunifu ili iwe sanaa hai na wewe uwe msanii hai kwa maana ya uwezo wa kusanii!
    Lakini katika sanaa mtu hawezi kukurupuka na from no whr akajua art of touching, teasing, sacking, screaming etc, ni lazima aanze somewhere so kwa sababu wewe una ideas kidogo please tumia hiyo idea kidogo mfundishe bila kuchoka ukiwa na matumaini kuwa ataelewa na kweli ataelewa!
    Usione aibu mfundishe na umwambie afanye vile vitu unavyo-feel uki-make love mfano kama unafurahia screaming za yule mdada aliyekupagawisha basi mwambie na hata namna ya kutoa hiyo sauti maana anaweza anza lia kama mbuzi usipomwelekeza sauti itakiwayo! Chota maujuzi aliyokuonesha yule aliyekupagawsiha then mfundishe huyo shemeji yetu wa ukweli!

    Wakati mwingine fanya namna anayoweza kushiriki kitchen party zinazofanyika maeneo mnayoishi maana kule nako huwa naambulia kitu kuna mashakupe wanatoaga soko
    ataweza kuchota 1 au 2!

    Kuhusu usafi hilo kaka wewe unaliweza maana pamoja na kumwambia unapokuta labda ametupa neti ya mtoto imetupwa huko pls mwulize kwa utaratibu ichukue ile net kwa hujafurahishwa na kutupwa kule iweke kwenye maji, hata kuifua nadhani ataona aibu na baadae taratibu ataenda kwenye njia sahihi!

    Pole sana kaka mapenzi ni sanaa ubunifu ulio nao ugawe kwake pia uta-enjoy wote mkiweza kuisani sanaa hiyo!
     
  14. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #14
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Dogo, be man in your house. Haya mambo ya nyumba ndogo tulishatest sn wengine tumegundua mdomoni ni matamu kama asali, lakin tumboni ni machungu tena yana7bisha kansa. Unachokitaka kwa mkeo ni haki yako, so usimbembeleze, TUMIA NGUVU. Mkunje utakavyo, mlaze utakavyo, mnyonye utakako, mkojolee upendapo. Mwanzoni atakuona strange, but ndo namna ya kumshape, baadae atakuwa mtaalamu. Kati ya vitu ambavyo havi7bishi ugomvi ndoani ni maumivu ya kusex. Atalia wkt mnaduu, lakini kesho yake atakuwa anakuheshim na kukuona mwanaume wa ukweli. Kutafuta mwanamke nje eti kwa 7bu huridhishwi na mkeo ni uzaifu na aibu. We k unayo hapo ndani unashindwa kuitumia kwa7bu ya ulokole. Na nakuhakikishia siku mkeo akihisi unaenda nje atagawa nje nae, huko atakutana na libazazi, litamkunja kama 0, na tigo litakamua. sasa hapo utaona mkeo atakavyokuzarau! Kuhusu usafi kama ushamwambia hafanyi, ni kuwa hajafunzwa kwao. Mtembezee makofi mara moja moja, atajifunza.
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Acha kumfundisha mwenzako kubaka, mkewe anaweza akamchukia mpaka ashangae.
     
  16. tracy

    tracy JF-Expert Member

    #16
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    Pole..anza kwa kumuacha wa pili,.then be ROMANTIC for the start,take her pahali hajawahi fika,ongea nae and tell her what you feel and what the bible has not said regarding anachosema...Be SENSITIVE,usitake awe wild and aggresive haraka,be a practical and considerate teacher,mfanye awe comfortable nawe..trust me unaeza kumbadlisha..na atakua anacheza na rules zako plus atajitahidi kujua zaidi..be THE MAN!
     
  17. Edward Teller

    Edward Teller JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Mungu hapendi watu waende nje ya ndoa
    mfundishe mkeo kwa bidii zote,atakubali tu,watu huwa hawapendi mabadiliko,ila mwisho wa siku wanabadilika
     
  18. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #18
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Simfundishi kubaka Lizzy, namfundisha kufundisha. Wanafunzi wengine hawaelewi bila viboko. Sasa huyu dawa yake ni kumuonyesha kuwa anatakiwa anaishi na mwanaume, na sio hivyo vimistari vyake sijui kavisoma wapi. Mungu kutaka uwe na kiasi haimaanishi Mungu anataka uwe na kiasi kidogo. Hivi Lizzy kama huumwi, kipi bora, mmeo kutaka penzi kwako ziada ya matakwa yako au kutafuta hiyo ziada kwa mwanamke mwingine?
     
  19. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #19
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    Huu ndo upole usio na maana ndoani, na mwisho wake ni kwenda nje ya ndoa.
     
  20. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 8, 2012
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    Kumpiga mwanafunzi sio kumfundisha bali ni kumkomaza, na unaweza ukajikuta unamfanya achukie hilo somo kwaajili yako. Kwahiyo pamoja na kwamba niko upande wa mume kwenye swala zima la "kiridhishana" sishauri hata kidogo atumie nguvu. Anaweza akaishia kukosa hata hicho kidogo kisichomridhisha.

    Anatakiwa awe veeeery smooth. Kwanza awe mwanaume na kumvhallenge mkewe na hizo imani zake ambazo hazipo kwenye mafunzo ya dini anayodai anafuata. Akishamwonyesha kwamba anakosea ndio aanze kumfundisha taratibu, kwa faida yao wote.
     
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