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Utajuaje kama we mtu wa kaida?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    1.Lazima uwe na ID humu JF
    2.Lazima utumie blackbery,i-phone,samsung,nokia na simu zingine
    3.Utakuwa unaangalia TV
    4.Umejiunga na sms za bure
    6.Unapenda kujua mambo ya kikubwa.
    7.Kawaida yako unachelewa kulala
    9.Uko busy mpaka ukasahau namba 5.
    10.Umerudi juu kutafuta namba 5(potezea tu mana hukuona hata namba 8)
    11.Sasa unatabasamu halafu unacheka.....je we mtu wa kawaida?
     
  2. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Jamaa kafika ofisini kwake,hakujua hata ni siku ya birthday yake,alipofika ofisini akaambiwa na secretary kuwa atampa offer ya lunch kwake,ilipofika mda wa lunch secretary akamchukua jamaa na kumpeleka kwake,walipofika kwa secretary wakakaa sebuleni kwa mda,mara secretary akamvua boss wake koti halafu akaenda akapeleka chumbani,aliporudi toka chumbani alirudi akiwa amevaa nguo zinazotega,halafu akamwambia jamaa ''nahisi joto bado ni kali ngoja nikapunguze nguo ili tumege vizuri keki,na kumtahadharisha ajiandae kula keki''jamaa akajua hapo lazima secretary anajiandaa kumpa mambo ya kiutuzima,haraka haraka akavua nguo ili secretary akirudi toka chumbani wapeane mambo,jamaa akabaki uchi wa mnyama.Mara secretary anatoka chumbani amebeba keki halafu mke na watoto wa jamaa wakiimba
    ''Happy birthday to you,happy birthday to youuuu*2
    Je kama ndo we ungefanyaje?
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Mwizi kamwona jamaa kabeba begi ndogo mkono,akamnyemelea taratibu na hakujua kwa jamaa kashikilia vizuri,ile anampokonya mvutano ukaanza,jamaa haachii na mwizi haachii,kila mtu anasema begi langu,mara polisi akatokea akawapeleka kituoni,akaanza kuwahoji,kila mmoja anasema begi langu,mwenye begi akamwambia polisi naomba niruhusu dk 30 nichukue risiti niliyopewa baada ya kununua begi,polisi akamruhusu jamaa.
    wamesubiri weeeeee jamaa harudi,mwizi akaanza''si unaona jamaa harudi,nilishakuambia begi ni langu,nipe begi langu''
    Polisi akaamua afungue begi ili aone kuna nini,alipofungua kidogo azimie mana kulikuwa na kichwa cha mtu.
    mwizi akaanza ''nakuomba nakuomba mi siyo mwenye begi,mi ni mwizi,kazi yangu ni kuiba begi si langu,nisamehe mi si mhusika''
     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Mchana jamaa kamtukana mke wake ''we kiazi kweli''.mke akaanza hasira ikawa ugomvi mkubwa,majirani wakaingilia ila mke akatulia ila bado alikuwa na hasira
    Usiku wanalala pamoja,mara baridi inaanza na mvua inaanza kunyesha
    Mme:sweety(huku anajaribu kumshika kiuno)
    Mke:Mi na wewe nani kiazi?''anaongea kwa ukali"
    Mme:sweety mi ndo kiazi,yaani mi ndo kiazi kweli(huku anaendelea kumpapasa,mke kashatuliaaaaa)
     
  5. Nambe

    Nambe JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 17, 2012
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    teh teh teh, zote zimenigusa isipokuwa hyo ya nne, we mkali bana
     
  6. Nambe

    Nambe JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 17, 2012
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    hahahaaa...., kama mie ningemwambia Ally ni kwa kifupi tu ila jina langu halisi ni alex
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    David na Michael walikuwa safari halafu na uchovu mwingi,mara wakafika jangwani,kwa mbali wakaona nyumba na mbele yake kukiwa na mtu aliyeonekana kama Iman,David akamwambia Michael,itabidi tuende kwa nyumbani kwa yule jamaa ili
    tuombe chakula,ila tubadili majina yetu,mi nitaitwa Ally,Michael akamwambia mi sibadili jina langu twende hivi hivi,walipofika waliulizwa majina na wakaeleza kwamba wananjaa,jamaa akamwambia mke wake ''naomba umpatie Michael chakula huyu ally tupo naye kwenye mfungo''
     
  8. TaiJike

    TaiJike JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Hii imevunja mbavu zangu aisee......shukrani.
     
  9. E

    Erasto toga Member

    #9
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Mar 23, 2012
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    Nyie wa ukwee!
     
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