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Ushauri wa talaka kwa wanawake ............

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Boss, Oct 25, 2011.

  1. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Kila mara wanaume tunapojadili masuala ta ndoa na matatizo yake..
    ni kawaida mno kwa wanaume kutaja TALAKA kama moja ya suluhisho

    kwa wanaume kumshauri mwenzio 'kutoa talaka' akiona hakuna namna
    si jambo la ajabu....

    Tatizo ni kwa wanawake....ukitaja tu 'dai talaka' si ajabu asirudi kwako
    au akakuchukia kabisaaa....

    sasa hapa ningependa tujadili.......haya.......

    1.kwa nini talaka inaonekana jambo baya mno kwenye jamii yetu
    hasa kwa kina mama......kiasi kwamba 'the price' ya baadhi ya ndoa
    ili ziendele ni kubwa mno ,hata kusababisha magonjwa na vifo...


    2. kwa nini wanawake wanachukulia 'talaka' ni kosa la mwanamke
    hata kama wameenda shule na wana exposure ya kutosha...

    3.kama ubaya wa talaka ni mali na watoto kuteseka...
    hivi hatuoni kuwa watoto wanateseka zaidi kwenye 'ndoa yenye kisirani'
    kuliko wazazi wakiwa wameachana?????

    4..kama ishu ni mali mlizotafuta pamoja,je hili halijadiliki????

    5..Hivi ni ngumu saana kwa watu kuachana kwa wema?????
    bila kuongezeana maumivu ya maisha?????

    6.Hivi watu wanajua hasara za kiafya za 'ndoa mgogoro'
    zinavyoweza kumdhuru mtu??????????

    Nitafurahi tukielimishana na kufundishana namna ya kuachana kwa wema ikibidi
    na muhimu zaidi watu watazame talaka kama moja ya option pia na sio kuogopa
    hata kujadili...life is too short to accepts 'kero zinazoepukika'....
     
  2. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

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    Nimeona wanandoa wakiwa kwenye mgogoro wa muda mrefu inafikia mahali mwanaume yuko tayari kutoa talaka kero ziishe lakini mke hayuko tayari kinyume na pale amabapo mwanamke akidai talaka mara nyingi wanaume wamekuwa wepesi kuridhia kuzitoa talaka hizo
     
  3. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hii dhana ya kudai talaka mimi kwangu haijakaa sawa. Talaka inadaiwaje?

    That's why I like the American system. All you need to put down is 'irreconcilable differences' and thereafter no questions asked. If the respondent doesn't sign the divorce papers that by default is considered to be assent.

    If you sign and contest the petition then you head for a courtroom showdown.
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    hapa ishu ni kwa nini wanawake wa kitanzania'hawataki hii option ya talaka'
    system inabadilka taratibu....wapo wakina mama hapa tanzania pia wanaenda mahakamani..
    hiyo American system ilikwenda ikibadilika mpaka ilipofikia hapo...huko nyuma haikuwa hivyo
     
  5. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hao wasioitaka hiyo option ndo wale wasioelewa kuwa ndoa ni hiari. Mtu hataki kuwa na wewe...kwa nini wewe ung'ang'anie kuwa naye?

    Na talaka si mwisho wa dunia. Laiti wangelielewa hilo basi wasingevumilia manyanyaso yote wayavumiliayo!
     
  6. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

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    kiswahili tafadhali babangu manake dahhh..kapa kapa....

    rejea ridhaa ya kiswahili tafadhali m waitng...
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    yaani mtu anakusimulia mateso,unamwambia kwa nini msiachane...
    anakukasirikia wewe....na utawasikia wanapinga mfumo dume kwenye majukwaa
    wakati 'hili ni mfumo dume tosha'.....
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hivi Rose unaweza kweli kuandika kawaida? Manake maandishi yako mengi mimi huwa napata shida sana kukuelewa!
     
  9. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Mi nshagawahi kuulizwa humu eti 'ntaacha wangapi?' kwa sababu ya ule msimamo wangu wa one strike and you're out. Nadhani hofu yao kubwa ni kuanza moja na mtu mwingine. Ila nadhani pia kuna mambo ya self-esteem ambayo huwa hawataki tu kukubali waziwazi.
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mimi wanachonishangaza ni ile hali ya kumkasirikia mtu kwa kuwa kasema
    'bora muachane' wakati mwanaume hukasiriki ukipewa huo ushauri...
     
  11. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Mimi najaribu kuacha kusema hivyo.
     
  12. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    usiache..
    mimi naona kuna tatizo la
    kutokuwa na knowledge ya kutosha juu ya madhara ya kiafya
    mentally na physically yanayosababishwa na 'ndoa mbovu'...
    mtu ukijua hili huwezi kukubali 'nonsense'
     
  13. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Mambo ya talaka is not that simple... BUT hata hivo mie nawaonea saana huruma wanaokaa ndani ya ndoa kwa vigezo ambavo umeweka hapo juu... Siwajudge but i do understand them... Mie naamini kua ndoa inapokua na matatizo ambayo hamuwezi mkaishi pamoja ni heri kila mmoja akala 50 zake kuliko kuendelea kukaa kama picha.... Otherwise labda muwe watu wazima mno kama vile 50+ huko..
     
  14. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    hata kama watu wazima
    ikishindikana 'basi'
    halafu wanawake wanapenda mno 'kushauriana kuvumilia'
    sielewi kwa nini...
     
  15. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    To my experience ni wanaume wa kibongo ndio wagumu kutoa talaka; kuna wadada wengi wanaishi separate na waume zao lakini waume wamegoma kutoa talaka; wanataka kuendelea kumiliku wanawake walokwisha tengana nao wakati wao maisha yanasonga na wanawake wengine.


    Sasa sijuhi ni wivu au woga wa kugawana mali ndio vinafanya wanaume wawe wagumu kutoa talaka.


    My mum for example ilibidi aende mahakamani ndio baba akawa forced kumpa talaka; even after years ya kukaa mbali alikuwa hayuko tayari kutoa talaka.

    Na haikuwa easy kwani baba alikodi wanasheria wa nguvu kujaribu kuzuia talaka isitolewe; lakini kwa kuwa case ilikuwa obvious; so many years of living apart mama alimshinda baada ya kusumbuka kweli kufuatilia hiyo case.

     
  16. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

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    kwangu natumia lugha laini...wewe unatumia kidictionary mda wote ahhh mi mda mwngne sielew bwana...so plz nxt tym wen ur using kicockney chako unikonside kwamba ahh rose ajui i lugha...wl u?..ur such a gntle i knw ze answ wil b ...yes my quennn.....PINGA UONE....PATACHIMBIKA nakwambia mpk utakua unaandika kingoni ili nikupate kiulain zaid
     
  17. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Aaaaawwwwwww....
     
  18. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mama yako ni very 'rare' kwa wabongo
    na hili la wanawake kushauriana 'kuvumilia'
    wakati unaona mtu anateseka likoje from your experience??????
     
  19. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    To be realistic; hakuna mtu anayekaa kwenye ndoa ya mateso eti kwa sababu kuna mtu/watu wamemshauri avumilie; ni uamuzi wa mwanamke mwenyewe; kwenye ndoa ushauri wa pembeni una chance ndogo sana. Na ukichunguza utakuta bado mwanamke ana mapenzi kwa mume wake; yakiisha wala hatakuwa na muda wa kuomba ushauri.




     
  20. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    But what I want ot say; divorce si kitu kizuri hata kidogo. Kuwa na wazazi ambao wako separate kunafanya mtoto ku feel homeless. Hakuna nyumba iliyokamili wakati mama anaishi kibaha baba mlandizi; watoto wanapata tabu sana kisaikolojia.

    Nakumbuka mimi na mdogo wangu tulianza kuwa blame ndugu zetu wakubwa kuwa walikuwa wanapiga debe baba na mama watengane kwa kuwa wao walikuwa wameshakua na maisha yao; tulioteseka ni mimi na mdogo wangu.

    I would rather share a house with my hubby than making my sons move from one house to another visiting their parents. That is the sacrifice I am ready to make.
     
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