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Ushauri unahitajika: Uchumba matatani...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kwetunikwetu, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 19, 2010
    Joined: Dec 23, 2007
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    Wakuu naomba mnichangie mawazo ya kumpatia ushauri muafaka rafiki yangu. Ni hivi, kuna jamaa ni rafiki yangu wa karibu sana (almost ndugu). Tumesaidiana kwa mambo mengi na kwa muda mrefu sana. Kwa muda wa miaka kama mitatu amekuwa na urafiki na msichana fulani, hatimaye kufikia uamuzi wa kujiweka tayari ili kufunga ndoa. Baada ya kujitambulisha kwenye pande zote mbili za familia, matatizo ndio yameanza kama ifuatavyo;

    1. Rafiki yangu na huyo mchumba wake ni wakristo ila madhehebu tofauti; wao wameamua kila mtu abaki na thehebu lake ila ndoa ifungwe kwenye dhehebu la mwanamume. Lakini baba wa huyo binti amekataa katakata anataka ndoa ifungwe kwenye dhehebu la binti yake.

    2. Pili, baba wa huyo binti amemtaka rafiki yangu asaini kiapo kuwa watoto wao watabatizwa na kulelewa kiroho kwenye dhehebu la binti yake (ie dhehebu la huyo baba mkwe).

    3. Jamaa yangu alimpomweleza huyo binti kuwa masharti hayo ni magumu sana kwake, na hivyo kumtaka binti atoe msimamo wake, binti alimwambia kama itashindikana basi waachane.
    4. Kwa sasa binti huyo ni mjamzito wa kama miezi mitano hivi, habari hiyo bado haijamfikia huyo baba mkwe.

    Sasa basi, nilipomuuliza rafiki yangu anieleze msimamo wake....alinijibu kuwa mpaka sasa hajui afanye nini. Nilimuomba anipe wiki moja nijaribu kutafakari kwa vile nisingeweza kukurupuka ukizingatia uzito wa suala lenyewe.

    Wadau naomba mistari ili niweze kutoa ushauri muafaka
     
  2. Abdulhalim

    Abdulhalim JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Hao waoane tuu maana hawafuati dini yayote kwa sababu wameshatungana hadi mimba kuonesha kuwa ni asharati wazoefu.
     
  3. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 19, 2010
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    duh eee kweli JF kiboko..! Nafikiri nitamuwekea link ya hii thread ili aone watu wanashauri nini
     
  4. Dreamliner

    Dreamliner JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Kuandikiana kiapo, huyo Mkwe kazidisha. Wajue kuwa MUNGU ni mmoja na hana dini.. ikibidi Jamaa yako akubali yaishe kwa sababu ameshamjaza! Ila kama ana imani hata wakiandika kiapo ni by the way hakuna litalompata.. Mpe pole sana.
     
  5. M

    MalaikaMweupe Member

    #5
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Aangalie sana,la sivyo baba mkwe atakuwa hadi anamuingilia kwenye kuiongoza familia hiyo baada ya ndoa.
     
  6. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 19, 2010
    Joined: Mar 7, 2006
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    Huu ndio unafiki ninaoupigia kelele kila siku, kuonekana mtakatifu mbele za watu kwa kwenda kanisani kila siku na kupigania dhehebu lako wakati hata Mungu mwenyewe humuogopi.

    Hivi dhehebu ndilo linalompeleka mtu peponi? Hapo kwenye mimba ndiyo starting point nzuri! Jamaa yeye akubali tu kufunga ndoa kwenye dhehebu la binti kwa kuwa dhehebu si kitu. Ila hilo la kusaini mkataba ni BIG NO! After all huwezi kuwachagulia watoto dhehebu kabla hawajazaliwa! Vipi baada ya kuzaliwa wakaaamua kubadili dini baada ya kuwa na umri wa miaka 18 na uhuru wa kuchagua wakitakacho huo mkataba utakuwa umesaidia nini?

    Inabidi tubadilike na kusoma zaidi kuhusu hizi dini na madhehebu. Ukiwa na uelewa mpana zaidi huwezi kufungwa na madhehebu. Hapa nazungumzia madhehebu ya kawaida, siyo yale yenye mambo ya ajabu ajabu!
     
  7. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 19, 2010
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    huyo baba naye anamatatizo ..kama wote ni wakristo kuna tatizo gani hapo?
    na huyo baba hajui maandiko yasemayo mwanamke ataacha wazazi wake na ataambatana na mmewe nao watakuwa mwili mmoja
    Swala la watoto ni juu ya Baba na mama kuamua wasali na sio babu yao
    kaniuzi huyo baba mkwe ..Binti nae ka msimamo kake kako 50/50% Y
     
  8. akashube

    akashube JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Hapo sijaona udini wala udhehebu. Huyo dogo anataka kuoa mchawi ila hajui tu. Kusaini kiapo cha nini vile??? Hayo ndo madogoli live....welcome to withcraft society...ndo hao wanaogombea maiti.

    We chukua mzigo....huyo dingi hafai kusikilizwa..hiyo ndoa haimuhusu kihivyo ..anavuka mipaka sasa ebo!!
     
  9. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Mmmmmh~! Hilo nalo neno, unaweza ukadhani ni msimamo wa dhehebu kumbe kuna mambo ya kafara yamejificha! Watoto wataisiniwaje mkataba kabla hata hawajazaliwa? :)
     
  10. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Kwa kweli hili pia na mimi lilinishtua....! Kutokana na msimamo huo hata mshenga amerudi nyuma anataka kujitoa....manake baba mkwe msimamo wake uko hivyo na ameshamwambia mshenga asirudi kwake kama hawajakubaliana na hayo.
     
  11. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 19, 2010
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    truly...!
     
  12. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Na ndio maana anaonekana ''mtakatifu'' kumbe tayari anakwenda ''nyama kwa nyama''.

    Njia rahisi ni kumwambia huyo baba mkwe kwamba binti yake tayari ni mjamzito. Atalainika kama mrenda na ndoa itafungwa chap chap ili afiche aibu ya binti yake huko kanisani kwao!
     
  13. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 19, 2010
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    yeah....nimekupata mkuu
     
  14. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Nilighafilika ikabidi nimuulize rafiki yangu hivi huyo binti anampenda kwa asilimia ngapi? Mbona inaonekana binti hana msimamo? Nikaona nitazidi kumchanganya jamaa...bora nivute subira ili nitoe ushauri mzuri usio na jazba
     
  15. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 19, 2010
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    kweli masaki yaani dingi akigundua binti mjamzito atatamani hata aende bure siku hiyo hiyo ;)
     
  16. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 19, 2010
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    mmmhh
     
  17. B

    BeNoir Member

    #17
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Pamoja na mfumo dume kuwa watoto ni wa baba, jambo ambalo naamini ndio alivyokuzwa huyo rafiki yako. Lakini je, kuna maelezo au sababu zo zote alizotoa binti ni kwanini mzazi wake anataka mambo yawe hivyo? Ndoa ifungwe kwenye dhehebu la binti na watoto wafuate hivyo?
    Je, huko nyuma hilo mlilijadili namna gani? Watoto wangekuwa dhehebu gani?
    Na binafsi yako utakuwa umepungukiwa nini endapo watoto watakuwa dhehebu la huyo mwenzako?
     
  18. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Mkuu niliuliza mambo mengi sana! Rafiki yangu alinieleza kuwa suala la ndoa walikubaliana ifungwe kwenye dhehebu la mwanaume; ila kuhusu watoto hilo hawakuwahi kuliongelea
     
  19. drphone

    drphone JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 19, 2010
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    huyo baba kazidi kama ni mm kwavile nimempenda binti sharti la kwanza ningekubali ila nikishaoa babamkwe stop kunipangia nn cha kufanya na nn nisifanye kwani mtu atamwacha babae na mamae na kuambatana na mumewe huyo binti bado ajawaacha wa kwao ataukimwoa atakusumbua kwani kila utakacho mwambia lazima akasililize ushauri wa baba alafu atakwambia babakasema
     
  20. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 19, 2010
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    Swala dogo.

    Kukata mzizi wa fitina wote waachane na dini zote, wawe hawana dini, na ndugu yeyote atakaye wa mind waue undugu.

    Kwanza mungu mwenyewe hayupo na ndugu wengine mzigo mtupu.Kama mtu anaweza kukumind katika maamuzi yako mweyewe kiasi hiki huyu si ndugu ila ni mkoloni anatak kuku control tu.

    Kama wanataka kuishi bila complication ndiyo hivyo, ndoa kwa mkuu wa wilaya, mtoto habatizwi kwa moto wala maji, period.

    Kwisha kazi, kata mzizi wa fitina, kaput.
     
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