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usawa una wezekana kweli?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanaFalsafa1, Jul 29, 2009.

  1. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Hivi wakuu nataka kuuliza. Usawa una wezekana kweli kwenye uhusiano haswa kama ndoa? Is it practical au just a wonderful concept? Ukiangalia kati kila nyaja ya maisha lazima kuna walio juu zaidi na walio chini zaidi. Sasa kwa mantiki hii ina wezekana kweli kwenye ndoa mkawa na watu wawili ambao wana nguvu sawa? Na kabla wanawake hawa jaanza kuni shambulia let me just say simaanishi mwanamke kaubwa kuwa chini ya mwanaume. Ninacho sema mimi ni kwamba kwenye ndoa si ni practical mmoja wapo(iwe mwanaume au mwanamke) akawa kiongozi kwenye familia? As long as one is a leader and not a ruler sioni ubaya wowote. Ili mradi tu mambo yaende kidemokrasia. Maana kwenye mfumo wa familia wenyewe kuna hierarchy. Una kuta wazazi ndiyo wapo juu na watoto chini. Na hata hao watoto kwa kawaida aliye mdogo ata msikiliza na kumtii yule aliye mkubwa. Honest opinions jamani siyo mambo ya hisia na boys against girls. Do we need total equality or do we need one of the couple to be a leader but also fair and just?
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Usawa is just phantasm!
     
  3. Zakumi

    Zakumi JF-Expert Member

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    Kabla ya kuendelea ningeomba ufafanusi kuhusu chini ya mwanaume. Je chini ya mwanaume ulikuwa na maana ya missionary position? Kama maana ni hiyo kuna ukweli ndani yake.
     
  4. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Nothing to do with sex mkuu. Soley based on the hierarchy of the family unit. Maana kuna wanawake wanaona kusema mwanaume n awe kiongozi wa familia basi una waweka at a lower position than man. Kwa hiyo hapo chini namaanisha lower siyo under.
     
  5. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

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    Pole mwanafalsfa kwa swali la zakumi....Ila kwa kweli swala la usawa katika familia kwa maana ya kuwa na nguvu sawa...haliwezekani lazima kuna mmoja awe juu.

    Yaani inawezekana wote mkawa mnaweza kuwa na nguvu sawa kila akawa na maamuzi na akayasimamia...anaaweza akangoza familia na ikafanikiwa..ila kwa ajiri kuwa na ustaarabu ndani ya nyumba mmoja huwa anakaa shuka chini ili kuwe na maelewano...mie na ongea na wewe unaongea inakuwa ngumu..Kuna wanaume wanajua kabisa kuwa hawana nguvu katika familia zao...na wake zao wana nguvu..lakini mke anakuwa mpole tu kumtunzia heshima mume..

    Hii imekaa kimalezi toka wadogo hasa kwetu waafrica..unakuta mtoto wa kiume anapewa nguvu zaidi.So hata dada zetu wanakuwa hivyo...hivyo...linaanzia mbali sana...
     
  6. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Kwamba wote muwe at par kwa maana ya kuongoza familia..itakuwa ngumu.Inawezekana kabisa mwanamke akawa ndio " kiongozi"....kwa maana ya kuwa mstari wa mbele kufanya mambo.( Za10 usije na swali tena hapa)
    Lakini haina maana kuwa kiongozi ni mtawala wa mabavu...ASIYESHAURIKA, KUAMBILIKA,ANAYEJUA KILA KITU YEYE HADI LINAPOHARIBIKA! Likiharibika hawezi kukiri kosa...
     
  7. Zakumi

    Zakumi JF-Expert Member

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    Jamaa alisema "HANA MAANA MWANAMKE KAUMBWA KUWEKWA CHINI". For me this is huge if I am not mistaken.

    Anyway, mazingira yamebadilika sana. Na roles, ukiondoa zile za procreation na recreation, zimebadilika.

    Mwanamme siku hizi habebi mikuki kulinda familia na wanawake wengine wameacha roles za kutafuta kuni (nina maana kuni za kupikia) au kuwa mama wa nyumbani tu.

    Hivyo usawa utategemea sana makubaliano ya wanandoa.
     
  8. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Now u r talking....
    Sasa, haya makubaliano yanafikiwa vipi? tupe huo mchakato maana hapo ndipo penye utata na tatizo.
     
  9. Triplets

    Triplets JF-Expert Member

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    Nadhani tunahitaji mwanaume to be the family leader but also fair, just etc, lakini wakati mwingine.. husband is the head of the family, wife is the neck of the family, which means she can turn the head any where she wants,...
     
  10. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

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  11. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    Jamani siku hizi kuna wadogo wenye kiburi hakuna mfano, sijui ndio utandawazi huu?
     
  12. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    hasa wale wanaofanya kazi TGNP ni ma-feminisit hao acha hakuna mfano wao mwanamume sio ishu
     
  13. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    Katika mambo ambayo siyapendi ni hili hapa uliloligusia Buswelu, nachukia sana hii tabia ya kutreat watoto wa kiume kama wafalme na watoto wa kike kama watumishi wao. Pamoja na kuwa mimi ni mwanamume lakini naichukia hii mpaka nyumbani wanajua, nikiona mtoto wa kiume anakuwa favored huwa nawamind sana na ni lazima nimvute pembeni kwa upendo nimwambie kuwa hakuna kazi za mwanaume na mwanamke tu ukiondoa zile za kijinsia kwahiyo kuosha vyombo, kufua, kupiga deki na kupika ni kazi za wote. Huwa nawasaidia kuwabadlisha kwa upendo tu.
    Hii ni mbaya sana kumpa nguvu mtoto wa kiume kuliko wa kike kwani inamwaribu hadi anapokuja kuwa na familia yake, eti wengine mtoto wa kike hana haki ya kurithi nyumba au shamba, ni ujinga huu, tuache
     
  14. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Inawezekana nimechelewa kwa hii mada but naomba niweke mawazo yangu.

    Kwangu mimi usawa katika ndoa ninautazama kwa jicho tofauti kidogo na usawa kama unavyoeleweka. Kwangu ninapozungumzia usawa wa ndoa haina maana ya kiongozi wa nyumba lah (huyo kwa mila na desturi zetu anafahamika kuwa ni mwanamume- awe anawajibika ipasavyo au lah -bado yeye ni kichwa cha nyumba na anatakiwa aheshimiwe kihivyo) but usawa wa wanandoa umebase zaidi katika yale mambo wanayofanyiana katika maisha yao mfano

    1. Mapenzi- Kila mtu anayo haki sawa ya kuridhia, kufurahia na kuridhika na tendo.
    2. Heshima- Kila mmoja anayo haki sawa na mwenzie ya kuheshimiwa. Siyo mume/mke amtreat mwenzie vibaya (e.g. kumgombeza kama mtoto mbele ya watu, kumwonyesha dharau ya aina yoyote ile, kupewa taarifa za muhimu like utachelewa, unatoka kwenda sehemu flani kwa shughuli flani n.k
    3. Kusikilizwa mawazo yake na kuyaheshimu
    4. Kila mmoja anayohaki sawa na mwenzake ya kudemand explanations juu ya jambo ambalo anaona haielewi n.k

    Ni mengi ambayo yanaweza kutumika kama kipimo cha usawa katika ndoa na bado yasihusiane na kutunishiana misuli ya mimi ndo kichwa, mimi miguu!
     
  15. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

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    Mtafiti Sipo umelitafiti hilo unalolisema au umelinena tu maana nawafahamu sana hao Transformative Feminists wa TGNP/FEMACT na si kweli kuwa kwao mwanaume sio ishu?
     
  16. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Ungekuwa karibu................ Umeongea vema kabisa na mara nyingi tunajisahau kuwa tabia hii ndiyo inayojenga wanaume ambao huwa kero kwa wake zao. Wakikuwa na kuoa huwa wanategemea kufanyiwa kiiiiiila kitu yaani hata kumsaidia wife (akiwa mgonjwa) huwa ni tabu. Halafu na tabia za utemi huwa nazo. Malezi ya aina hii hupelekea watoto hao kuwa na dharau kwa wanawake daima dumu!
     
  17. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Good thing my dear mama and baba taught me better.
     
  18. Zakumi

    Zakumi JF-Expert Member

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    Hapa itabidi nijibu kwa upande wangu mimi tu. Mwanamke kwangu ni partiner, 50/50.
     
  19. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Kutokana na makuzi yangu na imani yangu, Mume ni kiongozi wa familia akisaidiwa na Mke. Pindipo mume akisafiri au kufariki, Mke au mtoto mkubwa wa kiume ndio atachukua uongozi wa familia.

    Kwenye nyumba ambayo mwanamke ndio kiongozi wa nyumba na mume ni kaimu ama kwa hakika kwa mila na desturi zangu hicho kitakuwa kituko, na mara nyingi ndani ya nyumba hizo kunakuwa na migogoro mikubwa ya kifamilia!

    Kwa maana hiyo, maamuzi makubwa makubwa kama kupokea posa na mahari, kuozesha, vikao vya upatanishi na mirathi vyote vitasimamiwa na Baba, kaka, mjomba, na mfanowe..

    Msinihukumu, ni maoni yangu tu!
     
  20. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    kAKA Companero mara nyingi mimi na wewe huwa tunakutana kwenye zile semina zao za wiki GDSS na semina nyingine nyingine nyingi tu na wewe mchango wako unakuwaga na tija sana mkuu.
    Lakini umewahi kusikiliza maneno yao wale akina mama na dada zetu? Na jinsi wanavyowalisha moto wadada na wake zetu yaani hata mke wako ukimuona anaenda GDSS halafu hajabadilika basi wewe una bahati sana. Ila kimsingi mafundisho yao ni ya kujilinganisha sana na wanaume na kupingana nao kila kitu. Pia mimi ni mmoja sana kati ya watu ninaopenda usawa baina ya wanawake na wanaume lakini sio hadi ule wa kupitiliza kwasababu tukubaliane tu kuwa kuna mambo mengine ambayo yanahitaji usimamizi wa baba na mengine usimamizi wa mama.

    Angalizo
    Sio wote,
     
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