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Unikome, Sikutaki Tena, kumbe 'Unanichezea Bure'

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kongosho, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Mara nyingi kwenye mahusiano, hasa kwa wadada, unakuta analalamika au anatoa maneno

    unikome, sikutaki tena, kumbe unanichezea bure.

    Hili suala la mmoja kumchezea mwenzake inakuwaje?

    Je ni kweli wanamme tu ndio huchezea wadada?

    Au hata mdada anaweza mchezea mwanamme?

    Kwa nini isiwe wote wanachezeana?

    Hebu nisaidieni kudadavua hili.
     
  2. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

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    mi nitasema tukifika ukurasa wa pili.
     
  3. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Dah,suala la kuchezeana me nalipinga,
    hata kupotezewa muda c kweli!
     
  4. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    hapa sisemi ngoja nitafute pengine
     
  5. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Please nisaidie, naenda kutoa mada mahali fulani, mwaga mapweint mwali.

     
  6. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    mwali sema hapahapa post yako ya 1
     
  7. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    hebu dadavua unalipinga kwa nini?

     
  8. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    hakuna marks, ni maoni yako tu.
    Hata mie sina majibu sahihi zaidi ndo maana nimelileta hapa.

     
  9. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    hachezewi mtu,
    kwavp?maana galz wao huhc potential than us(malez),kama ku'make love @mtu anawajibika,some tym na incentivez tunawapa
     
  10. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

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    mi nafikiri labda mwanamke anapoanza uhusiano wa kimapenzi na mwanaume anatarajia kuolewa na mwanaume huyo kwa kipindi kifupi toka waanze uhusiano, akiona mda unazidi kwenda na labda mapenzi ya bf wake hayajamridhisha lazma atakwambia unamchezea na kumpotezea muda, NI MTAZAMO WANGU ILA SABABU ZAWEZA KUTOFAUTIANA
     
  11. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

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    mdau,hapa mwanamke hapotezew muda!
     
  12. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    Unatolea wapi? ukitoa basi sema source: Mwali wa JF. sawa?

    Nadhani mwanamke akisema anachezewa au anapotezewa muda
    ni sababu ya mtazamo tofauti ya mahusiano:
    Wanawake wengi wanaingia katika mahusiano
    huku wakilennga kitu kingine (pesa? nyumba? gari? ndoa?)
    Mwanaume anaingia katika mahusiano sababu anataka
    mapenzi na sex (hasa sex), na si zaidi ya hapo at first.

    Sasa pindi mwanamke anapoona kua hakuna kitakacho kuja
    zaidi ya mapenzi ya siku kwa siku (kwenda out, ku-do etc)
    wakati yeye alikua katika investment akitegemea a high return ambayo haiji,
    Wakisha korofishana na kila mtu kuweka nia yake wazi
    ndio husema alikua 'anapotezewa muda', wanamchezea (kuchezea mwili)
    inaonekana mmoja alikua anapata anacho kitaka, mwenzie 'anachezewa'.

    Natangulia kusema kua sio wanawake wote wanaingia katika mahusiano
    kwa kulenga something more out of it. wengine hu-enjoy kila dakika
    Na sio wanaume wote wanataka sex na outing tu, kuna wanao taka more pia.
     
  13. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Hivi kwenye mahusiano inatangulia ndoa au upendo na compartibility kati ya wahusika?

    Mnaweza kuanza mahusiano tu, mkajikuta mmeendana kiasi cha kuanza fikiria kuoana

    au mnaweza anza mahusiano, mkakuta hamwezi kaa pamoja.

     
  14. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    Baadhi ya maswali yako, kama sio yote, yanaweza kujibiwa na hii article.

    Si wanawake tu, hata wanaume nao huchezewa na kuachwa! Part 1

    RAFIKI zangu leo nimekuja kivingine kabisa, nataka kuzungumza na wanawake kuhusu vilio vya wanaume. Yap! Ni kweli, nao pia wanalia kama wanawake wanavyolia. Wanateseka kama wanavyoteseka. Wanapata tabu na matatizo ya moyo sawa na wanawake. Hata hivyo, wengi hawapati nafasi ya kuwaelezea. Leo ni zamu yao.

    Kwa utamu wa mada na jinsi nilivyo na haraka, nimesahau hata kuwasalimia...mambo marafiki? Mko poa? Bila shaka mtakuwa wazima wa afya njema na mnaendelea vyema na majukumu yenu ya kila siku. Karibuni tujifunze katika mada yetu ya leo.

    Imekuwa ni kawaida sana kusikia wanawake wakilalamika baada ya kuachwa au kuachana na wapenzi wao, kwamba wamepotezewa muda, wamechezewa n.k. Hizi zimekuwa kauli za kawaida kabisa katika jamii, lakini ukitazama kwa upana dhana hii ina matatizo kidogo.

    Hebu tujiulize pamoja, kuchezewa ni nini haswa? Kwanini wanawake wamekuwa na tabia ya kulalamika kwamba wamechezewa? Ni kweli kwamba wanaume nao hawawezi kuchezewa na kuachwa? Bila shaka yoyote, majibu ya maswali haya utayapata katika mada hii ambayo itakuongezea jambo fulani kichwani mwako.

    DHANA YA KUCHEZEWA

    Inawezekana kila mmoja akachambua kwa mtindo wake, lakini mwisho maana inabaki katika mlengo mmoja tu, kupotezewa muda, kutumika kimapenzi! Hiyo ndiyo maana ya moja kwa moja.

    Kama ndivyo, mwanaume ana kitu gani cha tofauti katika mwili na moyo wake, ili aondolewe kwenye kipengele cha kuchezewa na kuachwa? Wapo wanaume kadhaa ninaowafahamu ambao maisha yao yamebadilika baada ya kuachana na wapenzi wao waliowapenda.

    Hawana furaha tena, hawana uwezo wa kufanya kazi sawasawa, wameathirika kisaikolojia na kila kitu katika maisha yao kimeharibika! Tuwaiteje nao hawa? Si kwamba wamechezewa na kuachwa?

    "Maisha yangu yamebadilika kaka Shaluwa, sina mbele wala nyuma, yule mwanamke nilikuwa nampenda sana, lakini ndiyo hivyo nimelazimika kuachana naye kwa sababu nimegundua ni msaliti.

    "Siku zote nilikuwa namtegemea yeye, nilimwamini kwa kila hali, nikampa moyo wangu wote, lakini hakuridhika, akanisaliti. Nimedumu naye kwenye mapenzi kwa miaka minne, sikuwahi kumsaliti hata mara moja.

    "Nimefanya naye mambo mengi sana, tulikuwa na mipango mikubwa sana katika maisha yetu, lakini kila kitu kimezimika. Kila mtu yupo kivyake, moyo wangu una simanzi sana.

    "Siwezi kufanya kazi vizuri na hivi ninavyokuambia, nina barua mbili za onyo kutoka kwa bosi wangu, akinitaka nibadilike. Nashindwa kumweleza ukweli wa mabadiliko yangu kikazi, maana atanifukuza.

    "Sina la kufanya, muda wote namuwaza Betty mwanamke ambaye niliamini angekuwa wangu wa milele, kumbe nilikuwa najidanganya," alisema Moses, ambaye alifika ofisi kwangu wiki iliyopita kwa ajili ya ushauri.

    Moses ni mfanyakazi katika kampuni moja jijini Dar es Salaam. Alikuja kuniomba ushauri baada ya kuachana na mpenzi wake miezi miwili iliyopita. Baada ya tukio hilo, ambalo kimsingi ni yeye aliyeliamua, hivi sasa anaishi maisha ya wasiwasi, akitumia muda mwingi kufikiria jinsi alivyokuwa akiishi na mpenzi wake huyo.

    Kwa hakika alikuwa katika hali mbaya sana, nikapata wasaa wa kuzungumza naye kwa muda mrefu sana. Aliondoka akiwa na mahali pa kuanzia, nikiwa na maana kwamba, tatizo lake linahitaji muda, hupona taratibu kulingana na masharti niliyompatia wakati nikimshauri.

    Hapo ndipo mada hii ilipozaliwa. Umejifunza nini kupitia Moses? Kwamba hata wanaume nao huteswa, huteseka na hushindwa kufanya mambo mengine, pindi wanapochukua uamuzi mgumu wa kuachana na wale ambao wanawapenda kwa dhati.

    HISIA

    Rafiki zangu, naomba niwatoe mchanga machoni kuwa, hisia za mapenzi ni zile zile. Haina maana kwamba, mwanamke ana uwezo wa kupenda sana kuliko mwanaume, la hasha! Kikubwa ni hisia kuwa za kweli.

    Kwamba mwanamke kama atakuwa hajampenda mwanaume kwa dhati, kadhalika na mwanaume naye akiwa hajampenda mwanamke kwa dhati, itabaki kuwa hivyo, lakini kama wote watakuwa na mapenzi ya kweli, hali hiyo itaendelea kuwa hivyo kwa wote.

    KUWEKEZA MAPENZI

    Kama ulikuwa hujui, anza sasa kuingiza jambo hili kichwani mwako, kama wafanyabiashara wanavyowekeza katika sehemu mbalimbali, ndivyo ilivyo pia katika mapenzi. Mwanaume kama alivyo mwanamke, akipenda kwa dhati huhifadhi moyo wake kwa mwanamke huyo.

    Mapenzi ni kuwekeza na ukishafanya hivyo, inakuwa vigumu sana kuuondoa moyo wako. Hapo sasa ndipo yanapokuja maumivu na dhana ya kuchezewa na kuachwa! Rafiki zangu, natamani sana kuendelea, lakini nafasi yangu ni ndogo. Wiki ijayo nitamalizia sehemu iliyosalia. Nawapenda sana!

    Joseph Shaluwa ni Mshauri wa Mambo ya Mapenzi anayeandikia magazeti ya Global Publishers, ameandika vitabu vya True Love na Let's Talk About Love vilivyopo mitaani. Unaweza kumtembelea kwenye mtandao wake; www.shaluwanew.blogspot.com au jiunge naye kwenye facebook.

    Chanzo: Si wanawake tu, hata wanaume nao huchezewa na kuachwa! - Global Publishers
     
  15. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

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    kinachotangulia kwanza ni upendo then ndoa kama mtaridhiana
     
  16. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    @Mwali
    Sitasahau ku-acknowledge source.

    Kwenye kuchezea mwili, mie nadhani ni wote wanachezeana, au huwa mmoja anatulia tu mwingine achezee?

    Pia Alhamis hii iliyopita, kuna mdada mke wa mtu alikuwa analalamika hawala yake anamtumia, nikamwambia kwa umri wako hutakiwi kulalamika hivi hadharani, ni aibu, wewe ni mtu mzima unajua unalofanya.

    Je hata nyumba ndogo ya kike au ya kiume inachezewa/tumiwa???
     
  17. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

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    Mmoja anatoa kwa kusubiri malipo (reward)
    wakati mwengine anaji-enjoy full time.
    Ikiwa ni mapenzi ya kweli na wote wana-enjoy,
    huwezi sikia msichana akilalamika kua alichezewa
     
  18. Erickb52

    Erickb52 JF-Expert Member

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    Mara nyingi mgogoro unakujaga unapomtoa bikra binti then baadae unakula kona kwenda kumtoa mwingine...
    Huko nyuma ndo hayo maneno hufuata....
     
  19. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    Nitakuja mida!
     
  20. Erickb52

    Erickb52 JF-Expert Member

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    Kimwili wote wanafurahia sana tu...ila km hakuna future ndo mmoja anakuwa kachezewa
     
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