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Unayo ndoa lakini unatoka nje: justification

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Futota, Mar 17, 2011.

  1. Futota

    Futota JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 17, 2011
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    ndugu zangu, nina hili suala ambalo linanitatiza sana, naomba ushauri wenu wa dhati.
    mimi ni mama (48yrs old), nimeolewa nina watoto watatu (22, 18, 16 yrs), naipenda familia yangu, zaidi sana nampenda mume na baba watoto wangu, na maisha yetu kwa kweli ukiacha tatizo hili, tuko murua kabisaa. shida tuna tatizo hili; miaka ya hivi karibuni baba watoto "jogoo wake amekuwa hawikii" kabisa kutokana ugonjwa wa kisukari na matibabu yake. na mimi mara kwa mara nimekuwa na wazo la kutafuta kijana wa nje kwa ajili ya mahusiano ya kimapenzi (tendo la ndoa) kwa sababu physically bado ninahitaji. sasa ndugu zangu naomba mnishauri (nafahamu ya kuwa imani ya dini inakataza) ila uhitaji unanizidi hadi nashindwa kufanya kazi zangu vyema. sasa naomba mawazo, je itakuwa vibaya (kijamii) kama nikitoka nje na kwa siri? kama hapana nifanyeje kutatua tatizo hili?
    NB: kitu nacho miss naona ni ile penetration, kwani style nyinginezo tunazitumia na huwa ananifikisha kileleni
    (moderator sina uhakika hii post kama hapa ni pahali pake, please advice kama sio)
     
  2. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Mama sema usikike kuna kama hujamalizia sentensi vile hebu hebu editi kidogo ongeza nyama tukupe mauzoefu
     
  3. Mjanga

    Mjanga JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 17, 2011
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    pole sana Bi mkubwa!.. lakini kwa umri wa vijana wako inaonekana nao wameanza KUTUMIKA AU KUTUMIA NJE.. SO kuna HATARI ya kugongana kimaslahi nao hilo unalionaje? ukishindwa sana ntafute niwe KIDUMU chako au wasemaje:tongue:??
     
  4. Susy

    Susy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 17, 2011
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    ha haaaa, ushaanza dd Dena!!!

    langu jichoooooooo

    wanakuja wataalam na wachambuzi, ww subiri tu uone!!!
     
  5. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Namaanisha hicho hapo kwenye red sijakipata pata vizuri ukijumlisha na hiyo bluu.
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Ehhh?Haya mama kila la kheri!Ila sidhani kama kuna kitu kinachohalalisha kutoka nje ya ndoa!Mvumilie na hicho hicho kidogo anachoweza kukupa!Kwasababu sio mapenzi yake ni ugonjwa...utakua humtendei haki maana ye mwenyewe si ajabu anajisikia vibaya kujua kwamba hana tena nguvu za kukuridhisha kikamilifu!Sasa umwache mwenzako anafeel guilty ndani wakati wewe unapeta nje?!Nwyz uamuzi ni wako...fanya kwa umakini!
     
  7. Dr wa ukweli

    Dr wa ukweli JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 17, 2011
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    kwa nini asiende kwa babu nasikia anarudisha heshima ya ndoa kwawenye kisukari kupona,
    siku unachukua kijana mnagongana gest na mwanao itakuwa so, 48yrs unakimbilia uzee sana usijepata magonjwa ya vijana uzeeeni
     
  8. Moderator

    Moderator Content Quality Controller Staff Member

    #8
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Checked.

    Members,
    please comment within the agreed limits.

    Mtumishi.
     
  9. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Kwa kuwa na wazo tu la kutembe nje ya ndoa ni sawa sawa na umeshatembea nje ya ndoa!

    Ushauri ni mdogo tu, kama ni muumini wa dini sali sana mungu wako akuepushe na fikra za ngono, au kama siyo muumini wa dini yoyote toka nje nenda katafute vijana ujivinjari...

    Ni hayo tu
     
  10. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Dena hujaelewa nini hapo? yaani wanatumia njia mbadala maana ya oral sex hadi anafika huko kibo na mawenzi ila hakuna kitu in kitu out, kwa kifupi anamiss kilo kadhaa za nyama au mzizi maji umenipata hapo mamii
     
  11. Riwa

    Riwa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Umri wa miaka 48 lazima utakuwa ndio unakoma hedhi (menopause) au umeshakoma hedhi (post-menopause), ni kipindi ambacho wanawake weengi huwa wanapata ashki (kumradhi '******') za mara kwa mara, na wakati mwingine kali sana kiasi wengi wao wanaweza ishia fanya mambo ya kipuuzi sana. Katika miaka hiyo pia mwanaume uwezo wake kingono (nguvu za kiume) unaanza kupungua, na hali ni mbaya zaidi kwa wanaume wenye matatizo ya kisukari kwa muda mrefu! Ndio maana kina mama wengi sana around umri huo hutafuta 'serengeti boys' hata kama waume/wenzi wao hawana kisukari.

    Kwa hiyo kuwa na tatizo hilo la kutamani 'penetration' ni kitu cha kawaida (NB: raha ya ngono si kufika kileleni tu, nje-ndani zina raha yake bila hata kufikia mshindo), ila 'what you gonna do about it' kwa mwanamke wa umri wako na aliyeolewa ndio tatizo. Kama unaamini dini yako na unamuheshimu mumeo na ndoa yako basi vumilia, au ongea na mumeo aridhie we kutoka nje, au mtumie 'sex toys a.k.a dildo'. Lakini kama hujali, waweza tii kiu yako na kutafuta kitulizo cha siri! Umri wako na expirience yako katika ndoa na mahusiano inakutosha kupata suluhisho amabalo ni best for you and your marriage...or atleast best for you!

    N
     
  12. pangalashaba

    pangalashaba JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Duuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh..............
     
  13. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Mi sikushauri kabisa, hapo ujue shetani yupo kazini. Achana na hayo mawazo, kwani hujui ukimpata huyo kijana utatulia naye kwa muda gani. Akitoka sababu mwili unataka utataka mwingine. Huyo naye huna certificate naye atatoka ( coz hujala kiapo cha kuwa naye kwa shida na raha) utabadilisha tu. Assume mwaka mmoja wanatokea kumi. Mwakani? Dunia hii ni kijiji, kesho unakatana na wanao ambao ni wakubwa na kwa vovyote lazima utakutana naye guest house au hotel, itakuwaje?

    KUMBUKA KIAPO CHA SHIDA NA RAHA NA AU WEWE UNGEKUWA NA TATIZO HALAFU MUMEO AFANYE HIVYO UNGEJISIKIAJE? Kwa nini usiende naye kwa babu?
    KWA MUNGU HAKISHINDIKANI KITU, IMANI TU ATAPONA.
     
  14. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 17, 2011
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    duh! Mamii upo makini. Bg up.
     
  15. Gagurito

    Gagurito JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Ndio hvyo tunatafuta radha!
     
  16. Ndibalema

    Ndibalema JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Angalau wewe mwanzisha mada huwa natumia mbinu nyingine na hatimaye unafika kileleni, shukuru.
    Kuna wengine hata hizo njia mbadala haziwafikishi, hao wangefanyaje?
    Nakushauri ridhika tuu na hiyo njia mbadala ili mradi unafika njia nyingine ya kutoka nje ya ndoa italeta magonjwa mabaya zaidi ya kisukari.
     
  17. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Penetration matters, mh! nilikuwa sijui kwa uzuri. Aende kwa babu kwanza. Then kama vipi mtafute strap on kwa ajili ya ku do

    [​IMG]


    Kwa hili hii mada ihamishwe ila isifutwe
     
  18. P

    Prime Dynamics JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 17, 2011
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    hii inaonyesha wewe na mume wako you have never talked of your feelings. hapo mama unatafuta conflict which will cost you for the remaining portion of your life. Jamani tatizo hapo ni "communication kati yenu wawili". mimi nadhani wakati uko na mume wako kitandani na baada ya wewe kifika kileleni kama ulivyo eleza hapo juu. huo ndio wakati wa kusema matatizo yako then you may get to consensus. Sasa wewe kama unakufa pole pole na shida yako na huja mweleza mwenzio kosa la nani hapo? speak out your mind and get a better solution. Hivi utajisikiaje au utakua mgeni wa nani mtoto wako wa kike akufumanie na boyfriend wake? Je utamuomba msamaha? au tajishitaki kwa mume wako?
     
  19. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Mar 17, 2011
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    Dada angu, hapo ndio tunakumbuk tulipopanda madhabauni na kuapa kwa mbwembwe nitavumilia katika shida na raha, kama zilikuwa hazijakufikia ndio hizo sasa,vumilia usije fanya maamuzi badae ukajutia,atleast the man anajitutumua kukupa raha mwingine hata hayo mambo hayajui.pole sana najua unachopitia cause nimeolewa na nimepitia hicho kipindi ni kigumu hatari,pamoja na kukushauri usiende nje ila mimi nilienda ila sikupata nilichotarajia na nimeishia kujutia uamuzi wangu kila siku iendayo kwa mungu.pitia thread zangu utagundua kitu
    Kama utashindwa kabisa na kutafuta mtu sio lazima kijana hata wababa wengine wako fiti wanaweza tu kukupeleka mperampera, kijana unaemtaka atakupa presha tu kwani umri wako ni mkubwa utajidhalilisha bure mbele ya wanao
    Haya mambo bwana hayaishi hamu ee kwa umri wako tunategemea ile hamu life circle imefika kwenye decline kumbe inazidi kupanda tu du umenifundisha kitu dada, mungu akupe nguvu
     
  20. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 17, 2011
    Joined: Jan 6, 2011
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    Huoni hapo atakuwa anamuumiza mumewe? atamwambiaje anahitaji penetration wakati mume uwezo huo anao, atakuwa anamuabuse emotional
     
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