Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Unataka kumuacha mke mkorofi? Fanya hivi...!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Aug 28, 2012.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
    Messages: 38,553
    Likes Received: 2,823
    Trophy Points: 280
    [​IMG]

    Kuna wanaume ambao wametokea kuoa wanawake ambao wana tabia mbaya . ninaposema kuwa na tabia mbaya sina maana ya mwanamke kuwa Malaya, maana hiyo ni fasili rahisi ya tabia mbaya kwa watu walio wengi. Ninaposema tabia mbaya nina maana kwenda kinyume na matarajio ya mume na pengine hata kwenda kinyume na matarajio ya jamii. Mwanamke ambaye ana tabia kama ghubu, mdomo mdomo (mkosoaji), mtapanyaji wa mali, mpenda makuu na tabia nyingine za aina hiyo, ni mwanamke ambaye kwa kiasi kikubwa anaweza kumsababishia mume matatizo ya kimwili na kisaikolojia. Mwanamke wa aina hii anaweza hata kuathiri makuzi ya watoto na kuathiri uhusiano na mume na watu wengine waliyo karibu yake. Kama mwanamke wa aina hii ameolewa na mume mweledi ndoa inaweza isiyumbe sana, lakini hii ina mipaka na kiwango chake.

    Kuna wakati matatizo haya huweza kufika mbali zaidi kiasi kwamba huanza kumwathiri mume. Mwanaume ambaye huchukua kila uamuzi unaohusu maisha yake kwa hadhari kubwa, anaweza kuendelea kuishi na mke huyu. Lakini mara nyingi kuendelea kuishi na mke huyu kuna maana ya matatizo zaidi kuliko ufumbuzi. Bila shaka mmeshawahi kusikia wanaume ambao wanalalamika kuhusu tabia mbaya za wake zao (hata hapa JF wapo wengi sana), lakini huku wakiendelea bado kuwa na wake hao. Ukiacha sababu ya kugawana mali, wanaume wengi huwa wanafikiria mambo mengi ambayo huwazuia kuchukua uamuzi wa kuachana na wake hao.

    Nimeona itakuwa vizuri kuwaambia wanaume hawa kwamba, kama ndoa zao zimefikia mahali ambapo zinataka kuwatia kichaa, wakiwa na uhakika kwamba wake zao ndio wenye matatizo na sio wao, (hili inabidi waliangalie kwa makini) inabidi wafanye uamuzi kwa kujiangalia wao na watoto wao zaidi kuliko watu au vitu vingine. Baadhi ya mambo ya kuangalia ni haya:

    1. Kuathirika kwao: wajiulize wanaumia kiasi gani kimwili na kisaikolojia kwa kuendelea kuishi kwao na wanwake hawa. Kama ni ghubu na kukosolewa, kunawaathiri kiasi gani,? Na kama ni utumiaji mbaya wa mali unawaathiri kwa kiasi gani? Kama athari za tabia mbaya alizo nazo mwanamke zinafaa kudharauliwa na mume anaweza kuzidharau ni vyema akafanya hivyo, na kuendelea na maisha. Na kama akiona kuzidharau tabia hizo itakuwa na maana ya angamio kwake na pengine mbaya zaidi kwa watoto, inabidi hiyo iwe ni sababu ya msingi kuachana na mke huyo.

    2. Ndugu watasemaje: wanaume wengi hukwamia hapo. Kama wake zao wanaelewana vizuri na baadhi ya ndugu, au hata wazazi wao, wanaume hushindwa kutoa maamuzi wa kuwaacha kwa hofu ya kulaumiwa na kushangawa. Wakati mwingine mume huyu anaelewena sana na watu wa upande wa pili, yaani ndugu wa mke na hasa wazazi na pengine wote. Hiki nacho ni kikwazo kikbwa sana, kwani mume hufikiria jinsi atakavyoonekana kwa watu hawa, pale atakapoamua kuchukua uamuzi wa kumuacha mkewe.

    3. Sifa moja nzuri: pamoja na kuwa na matatizo, kila binadamu anaweza kuwa na upande mzuri. Kama mwanamke huyu ana sifa fulani ambayo ni nzuri sana, tuseme ni mpishi hodari sana na mkarinu kwa wageni , au labda ni mwaminifu sana katika ndoa, mwanaume anaweza kukwama kutoa uamuzi kwa kudhani au kujidanganya kwamba huenda anaweza asipate mwanamke mwingine mwenye sifa kama hizo. Huku ni kujidanganya kwa sababu kila sifa aliyo nayo binadamu fulani, ya kitabia, ipo kwa binadamu mwingine hata kama siyo wengi.

    Ukweli ni kwamba mwanaume anaweza kushindwa kumpa talaka mkewe ambaye anakaribia kumuuwa kwa matatizo yake kwa sababu ambazo mtu mwingine anaweza kuzishangaa. Lakini jambo la msingi kwa mwanaume kama huyu ni kujaribu kupima kwa makini, je hizo sababu zinazomfanya asite kuachana na mkewe huyu zina nguvu au maana kuliko maisha yake, hasa mwili na akili yake?.



    Angalizo: Sishauri watu kuachana, lakini nashauri watu kujua kwamba ndoa zenye mashaka makubwa ni hatari kwa afya na maisha yao -
    utambuzi na kujitambua
     
  2. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Nov 26, 2009
    Messages: 27,048
    Likes Received: 1,254
    Trophy Points: 280
    Asante kwa elimu nzuri.
    Hivi 'ghubu' maana yake haswa ni nini? Naanza self diagnosis,lol
     
  3. Boflo

    Boflo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jan 20, 2010
    Messages: 4,394
    Likes Received: 12
    Trophy Points: 135
    Imetulia sana.......nilifanya busara kumuacha mke wangu, alikuwa na tabia ulizozitaja
     
  4. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
    Messages: 38,553
    Likes Received: 2,823
    Trophy Points: 280
    GHUBU maana yake ni tabia ya mtu kutoridhika na mlalamishi (kunung'unika kusiko isha)............hata akosewe jambo dogo tu kwake litakuwa kubwa au..........................As ipolalamikia hili, atalalamikia lile..................... ilimradi keroooo kerooooo keroooo zisizoisha Mkuu.@King'asti
     
  5. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Nov 26, 2009
    Messages: 27,048
    Likes Received: 1,254
    Trophy Points: 280
    Thanks boss. Kinyume cha ghubu itakuwa kususa? Manake kama kero ipo kila siku, ukaamua kunyamaza na kuipotezea na kutouliza kabisa isije ikaitwa kiburi? Mfano, unamlalamikia mwenza say kwa tabia ya ulevi, kuchelewa nyumbani ama ufujaji mali. Anakubali atabadilika, then kesho anarudia. Ukiamua kunyamaza tu na kuendelea na alternative inakuwaje?
     
  6. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
    Messages: 38,553
    Likes Received: 2,823
    Trophy Points: 280
    Ukiamuwa kunyamaza utaitwa wewe ni kiburi hahahahah bora kunyamza kuliko kusema Mkuu King'asti
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Nov 26, 2009
    Messages: 27,048
    Likes Received: 1,254
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kwa hiyo bora kiburi sio (ama kususa?) Hehehe! Hii taasisi ngumu sana. Ila sometimes coping alternatives zinazotafutwagwa huwa zina madhara. Haya dr, endelea kuelimisha jamii,lol
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  8. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Nov 26, 2009
    Messages: 27,048
    Likes Received: 1,254
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kuna situation unamuacha mwenza afu kimoyomoyo anashangilia. Manake nae alikuwa anakupigia hesabu aanze kutoka kwa mguu wa kulia ama kushoto? Lol
     
  9. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
    Messages: 38,553
    Likes Received: 2,823
    Trophy Points: 280
    Hata kidini unatakiwa unyamze uvumilie usiwe mjeuri uwe mwenye tabia nzuri kunyamazni bora kuliko kuambia wewe una Ghubu King'asti
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  10. Duzente Siqwente

    Duzente Siqwente JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Aug 6, 2012
    Messages: 265
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 0
    no cmment
     
  11. G

    GTesha JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jun 10, 2012
    Messages: 203
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mh! kama hali ikiwa hivi ni bora kuachana kwa kweli maana kuishi kwa stress na mtu nayo yataka moyo
     
  12. Mgombezi

    Mgombezi JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Mar 23, 2009
    Messages: 630
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Vipi mwanamke anayetaka kumwacha mwanaume MKOROFI....????, wanaume huwa tunajihesabia haki sana; kuna wanawake hubadilika tabia kutokana na tabia mbaya ya mwanaume.
     
  13. ChescoMatunda

    ChescoMatunda JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jan 7, 2009
    Messages: 1,139
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    Niliwahi shuhudia rafiki yangu mmoja alichoka na gubu na maneno mpaka akawa analala sebureni alipochoka akamtimua mwanamke isee hizo ni tabia mbaya sana zilizoelezwa hapo juu jamaa alikuwa anaishi Kama mgonjwa hivi kumbe ni mzima ila makelele na malalamiko yasoisha ndo yalikuwa yanamnyong'onyesha.

    Sent from my BlackBerry 8520 using JamiiForums
     
  14. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Nov 28, 2010
    Messages: 12,582
    Likes Received: 709
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kumbe huwa unaacha, binti yangu sikupi!
     
  15. c

    christmas JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jul 21, 2011
    Messages: 2,485
    Likes Received: 134
    Trophy Points: 160
    mkuu hapo nakubaliana na wewe kwa asilimia zote
     
  16. Boflo

    Boflo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jan 20, 2010
    Messages: 4,394
    Likes Received: 12
    Trophy Points: 135
    tehe tehe kwanza nimeshtuka, hujui malezi....
     
  17. Mgombezi

    Mgombezi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Mar 23, 2009
    Messages: 630
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Kuna wanawake wanaishi na waume zao kwa kuwavumilia na kuwachukulia sana; mfano:

    1. Kuna wanaume ni walevi wa kupindukia kila akitoka kazini ni kupitia bar na kurudi nyumbani saa nane za usiku.
    2. Kuna wanaume wamehalalisha kuwa na mahusiano ya nje ya ndoa kwamba hiyo ni haki yao.
    3. Unavuta sigara ndani (chumbani) wakati mkeo havuti sigara.
    4. Nyumbani hautoi pesa ya matumizi ya kutosha, lakini wewe unajiachia kwa supu na nyama choma
    NK.

    Wanaume tusipende kuwanyooshea tu wanawake vidole, kwanza mimi naamini mwanaume anayeshindwa kuishi na mwanamke mmoja wapo, basi hawezi kuishi na mwingine kwa sababu kila mwanadamu ana mazuri na madhaifu yake, bali jambo la msingi ni kila mmoja kumtambua mwenzake na kuishi kwa akili. Vile vile ni muhimu kufahamu kwamba ndoa ina hatua 3; KUACHANA NA WAZAZI, KUAMBATANA NA KUWA MWILI MMOJA; hatua ya pili huwa na changamoto nyingi na kila mmoja huhitaji mwenzake kubadilika ki-tabia kama yeye anavyotaka na hasa wanaume huwa tunahitaji wanwake ndio wabadilike, bila ya sisi nasi kujichunguza.
     
  18. Graph Theory

    Graph Theory JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jul 2, 2011
    Messages: 3,448
    Likes Received: 413
    Trophy Points: 180
    Malaki 2:14-16 kuna maneno kama haya yafuatayo usimuache mke wa ujana wako, kwa maana mimi Bwana nachukia kuachana. Labda kama unafundisha kwa mtazamo wa kishetani hapo itakuwa sawa, lakini kwa upande wa Mungu utakuwa unapotosha ukweli.
     
  19. moto2012

    moto2012 JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Aug 28, 2012
    Joined: Jul 3, 2012
    Messages: 1,994
    Likes Received: 104
    Trophy Points: 160
    hizo bolds na red zimenisomba. ulijuaje? Wangu tulisoma pamoja, wazazi walifanya kazi ofisi moja! Dah kaz kwel
     
  20. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Aug 31, 2016
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
    Messages: 38,553
    Likes Received: 2,823
    Trophy Points: 280
    kazi ipo hapo
     
Loading...