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Unataka kumuacha mke mkorofi? Fanya hivi.........!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Felixonfellix, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. Felixonfellix

    Felixonfellix JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 11, 2012
    Joined: Feb 16, 2010
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    Kuna wanaume ambao wametokea kuoa wanawake ambao wana tabia mbaya . ninaposema kuwa na tabia mbaya sina maana ya mwanamke kuwa Malaya, maana hiyo ni fasili rahisi ya tabia mbaya kwa watu walio wengi. Ninaposema tabia mbaya nina maana kwenda kinyume na matarajio ya mume na pengine hata kwenda kinyume na matarajio ya jamii. Mwanamke ambaye ana tabia kama ghubu, mdomo mdomo (mkosoaji), mtapanyaji wa mali, mpenda makuu na tabia nyingine za aina hiyo, ni mwanamke ambaye kwa kiasi kikubwa anaweza kumsababishia mume matatizo ya kimwili na kisaikolojia. Mwanamke wa aina hii anaweza hata kuathiri makuzi ya watoto na kuathiri uhusiano na mume na watu wengine waliyo karibu yake. Kama mwanamke wa aina hii ameolewa na mume mweledi ndoa inaweza isiyumbe sana, lakini hii ina mipaka na kiwango chake.

    Kuna wakati matatizo haya huweza kufika mbali zaidi kiasi kwamba huanza kumwathiri mume. Mwanaume ambaye huchukua kila uamuzi unaohusu maisha yake kwa hadhari kubwa, anaweza kuendelea kuishi na mke huyu. Lakini mara nyingi kuendelea kuishi na mke huyu kuna maana ya matatizo zaidi kuliko ufumbuzi. Bila shaka mmeshawahi kusikia wanaume ambao wanalalamika kuhusu tabia mbaya za wake zao (hata hapa JF wapo wengi sana), lakini huku wakiendelea bado kuwa na wake hao. Ukiacha sababu ya kugawana mali, wanaume wengi huwa wanafikiria mambo mengi ambayo huwazuia kuchukua uamuzi wa kuachana na wake hao.

    Nimeona itakuwa vizuri kuwaambia wanaume hawa kwamba, kama ndoa zao zimefikia mahali ambapo zinataka kuwatia kichaa, wakiwa na uhakika kwamba wake zao ndio wenye matatizo na sio wao, (hili inabidi waliangalie kwa makini) inabidi wafanye uamuzi kwa kujiangalia wao na watoto wao zaidi kuliko watu au vitu vingine. Baadhi ya mambo ya kuangalia ni haya:

    1. Kuathirika kwao: wajiulize wanaumia kiasi gani kimwili na kisaikolojia kwa kuendelea kuishi kwao na wanwake hawa. Kama ni ghubu na kukosolewa, kunawaathiri kiasi gani,? Na kama ni utumiaji mbaya wa mali unawaathiri kwa kiasi gani? Kama athari za tabia mbaya alizo nazo mwanamke zinafaa kudharauliwa na mume anaweza kuzidharau ni vyema akafanya hivyo, na kuendelea na maisha. Na kama akiona kuzidharau tabia hizo itakuwa na maana ya angamio kwake na pengine mbaya zaidi kwa watoto, inabidi hiyo iwe ni sababu ya msingi kuachana na mke huyo.


    2. Ndugu watasemaje: wanaume wengi hukwamia hapo. Kama wake zao wanaelewana vizuri na baadhi ya ndugu, au hata wazazi wao, wanaume hushindwa kutoa maamuzi wa kuwaacha kwa hofu ya kulaumiwa na kushangawa. Wakati mwingine mume huyu anaelewena sana na watu wa upande wa pili, yaani ndugu wa mke na hasa wazazi na pengine wote. Hiki nacho ni kikwazo kikbwa sana, kwani mume hufikiria jinsi atakavyoonekana kwa watu hawa, pale atakapoamua kuchukua uamuzi wa kumuacha mkewe.

    3. Sifa moja nzuri: pamoja na kuwa na matatizo, kila binadamu anaweza kuwa na upande mzuri. Kama mwanamke huyu ana sifa fulani ambayo ni nzuri sana, tuseme ni mpishi hodari sana na mkarinu kwa wageni , au labda ni mwaminifu sana katika ndoa, mwanaume anaweza kukwama kutoa uamuzi kwa kudhani au kujidanganya kwamba huenda anaweza asipate mwanamke mwingine mwenye sifa kama hizo. Huku ni kujidanganya kwa sababu kila sifa aliyo nayo binadamu fulani, ya kitabia, ipo kwa binadamu mwingine hata kama siyo wengi.

    Ukweli ni kwamba mwanaume anaweza kushindwa kumpa talaka mkewe ambaye anakaribia kumuuwa kwa matatizo yake kwa sababu ambazo mtu mwingine anaweza kuzishangaa. Lakini jambo la msingi kwa mwanaume kama huyu ni kujaribu kupima kwa makini, je hizo sababu zinazomfanya asite kuachana na mkewe huyu zina nguvu au maana kuliko maisha yake, hasa mwili na akili yake?.

    Angalizo: Sishauri watu kuachana, lakini nashauri watu kujua kwamba ndoa zenye mashaka makubwa ni hatari kwa afya na maisha yao.

    Chanzo: utambuzi na kujitambua
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 11, 2012
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    mhhhhhhhh
     
  3. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 11, 2012
    Joined: Jan 24, 2012
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    Mara nyingi ukiwasikiliza walioko kwenye ndoa kwa zaidi ya miaka 20 wana mengi ya kuhadithia na ukipiga darubini nyuma na kuzingatia hizo kasoro ulizotaja pengine ndoa hizo zisingekuwepo.

    Angalizo: Simaanishi uishi kwenye mateso ila nimesema tu kutokana na nilichosikia!
     
  4. kashata

    kashata JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Mkuu leta hoja za kuimarisha ndoa hii ya kuvunja ndoa hapana bana hata wazazi wetu wana maogomvi yao but wamedumu kwenye ndoa zao mpaka sasa.
     
  5. Kisaka80

    Kisaka80 Senior Member

    #5
    Jul 11, 2012
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    maelezo yako hayaendani na kichwa cha habari .......toa njia za kumpiga chini mke mkorofi ili wadau wakuelewe but sio ngonjera za kizushiii....maelezo kibao bila hizo njia ulizosema!
     
  6. Chauro

    Chauro JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Mbona wanawake wote naowafahamu mimi ni wakorofi ukiacha utaoa nani?
     
  7. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Mbona mdau umekuwa mkali, ulitaka kukopi njia za kumpiga chini wa kwako nini?
     
  8. SG8

    SG8 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 11, 2012
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    kweli? Ila niseme ukweli leo hapa sijaambulia kitu.. Sijui ni kwa sababu ya kichwa cha habari...
     
  9. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Tehe ! Pole mwaya......mie nimeishia kusoma heading tu, kiukweli huwa sipatani na mada ndefu!
     
  10. Jestina

    Jestina JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jul 11, 2012
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    huyo mwenye blog ndio mtambuzi wa humu JF?
     
  11. SG8

    SG8 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Ha ha ha unamchokoza Mzee wa watu?
     
  12. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 11, 2012
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    ndefuuuuuuuuuuu kama . . .
     
  13. TAMKO

    TAMKO JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Hapana, Kichwa cha habari hakiendani Na maelezo, hujantendea haki kukata mistari yote bila kuona Hoja.. Ulivyoanza ni Kama unatafuta kuanza kujenga Hoja ila ja Ajabu umepotea..

    Nilidhani unatoa ushauri Kwa wale wenye kinamama korofi wafanyeje ili waendelee kuishi Na moto wao huo..

    Mie ushauri wangu wawapende zaidi, wawe wanawaandikia SMS Mara Kwa mara( ingawa hawatajibiwa) Kama wana Usafiri Basi wawe wanawapakia Na kuwapeleka kazini kwao, ni wazi kwamba Usiku mambo ya kiafrika zaidi yanaweza yasiwepo kajibisa, mkorofi hadi sex all time anasema amechoka.. Jenga Mazoea ya KUMBAKA..

    Sijui niendelee.. Wacha Niachie hapo.. Ila mwisho usiwasimulie wanawake wengine kazini au somewhere jehanam uliyonayo@ home.. Vumilia Songa mbele, nje utatengeneza watoto wasielewa chini ya usimamizi wako Kama baba, utakoma siku wakiwa wakubwa kisha wanakupigia cm "Dady Mbona hauko Na mama, au yeye ni mbaya, naskia inaishi Na mama mwingine, Dady hunipendi Mimi Na mama.." ..
     
  14. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jul 11, 2012
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    Huu uzi ushindwe na ulegee!!!

     
  15. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #15
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    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jul 12, 2012
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    Sasa hua mnaoa ili iweje??kama mnapanga mikakati ya kuwaacha wake zenu bora msingeoa kwani mlilazimishwa??khaaa!
     
  17. S

    SILVANUS NJENGA Senior Member

    #17
    Jul 12, 2012
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    Alichokiunganisha Mungu, Mwanadamu hasikitenganishe
     
  18. S

    SILVANUS NJENGA Senior Member

    #18
    Jul 12, 2012
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    Ndoa ndoano xo ndoa inajengwa na uvumilivu no way out any more
     
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