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Unataka kumuacha mke mkorofi?.......... Fanya hivi!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Kuna wanaume ambao wametokea kuoa wanawake ambao wana tabia mbaya . ninaposema kuwa na tabia mbaya sina maana ya mwanamke kuwa Malaya, maana hiyo ni fasili rahisi ya tabia mbaya kwa watu walio wengi. Ninaposema tabia mbaya nina maana kwenda kinyume na matarajio ya mume na pengine hata kwenda kinyume na matarajio ya jamii. Mwanamke ambaye ana tabia kama ghubu, mdomo mdomo (mkosoaji), mtapanyaji wa mali, mpenda makuu na tabia nyingine za aina hiyo, ni mwanamke ambaye kwa kiasi kikubwa anaweza kumsababishia mume matatizo ya kimwili na kisaikolojia.

    Mwanamke wa aina hii anaweza hata kuathiri makuzi ya watoto na kuathiri uhusiano wa mume na watu wengine waliyo karibu yake. Kama mwanamke wa aina hii ameolewa na mume mweledi ndoa inaweza isiyumbe sana, lakini hii ina mipaka na kiwango chake.
    Kuna wakati matatizo haya huweza kufika mbali zaidi kiasi kwamba huanza kumwathiri mume. Mwanaume ambaye huchukua kila uamuzi unaohusu maisha yake kwa hadhari kubwa, anaweza kuendelea kuishi na mke huyu. Lakini mara nyingi kuendelea kuishi na mke huyu kuna maana ya matatizo zaidi kuliko ufumbuzi. Bila shaka mmeshawahi kusikia wanaume ambao wanalalamika kuhusu tabia mbaya za wake zao (hata hapa JF wapo wengi sana), lakini huku wakiendelea bado kuwa na wake hao. Ukiacha sababu ya kugawana mali, wanaume wengi huwa wanafikiria mambo mengi ambayo huwazuia kuchukua uamuzi wa kuachana na wake hao.

    Nimeona itakuwa vizuri kuwaambia wanaume hawa kwamba, kama ndoa zao zimefikia mahali ambapo zinataka kuwatia kichaa, wakiwa na uhakika kwamba wake zao ndio wenye matatizo na sio wao, (hili inabidi waliangalie kwa makini) inabidi wafanye uamuzi kwa kujiangalia wao na watoto wao zaidi kuliko watu au vitu vingine. Baadhi ya mambo ya kuangalia ni haya:


    1. Kuathirika kwao: wajiulize wanaumia kiasi gani kimwili na kisaikolojia kwa kuendelea kuishi kwao na wanawake hawa. Kama ni ghubu na kukosolewa, kunawaathiri kiasi gani,? Na kama ni utumiaji mbaya wa mali unawaathiri kwa kiasi gani? Kama athari za tabia mbaya alizo nazo mwanamke zinafaa kudharauliwa na mume anaweza kuzidharau ni vyema akafanya hivyo, na kuendelea na maisha. Na kama akiona kuzidharau tabia hizo itakuwa na maana ya angamio kwake na pengine mbaya zaidi kwa watoto, inabidi hiyo iwe ni sababu ya msingi kuachana na mke huyo.


    2. Ndugu watasemaje: wanaume wengi hukwamia hapo. Kama wake zao wanaelewana vizuri na baadhi ya ndugu, au hata wazazi wao, wanaume hushindwa kutoa maamuzi wa kuwaacha kwa hofu ya kulaumiwa na kushangawa. Wakati mwingine mume huyu anaelewena sana na watu wa upande wa pili, yaani ndugu wa mke na hasa wazazi na pengine wote. Hiki nacho ni kikwazo kikbwa sana, kwani mume hufikiria jinsi atakavyoonekana kwa watu hawa, pale atakapoamua kuchukua uamuzi wa kumuacha mkewe.


    3. Sifa moja nzuri: pamoja na kuwa na matatizo, kila binadamu anaweza kuwa na upende mzuri. Kama mwanamke huyu ana sifa fulani ambayo ni nzuri sana, tuseme ni mpishi hodari sana na mkarinu kwa wageni , au labda ni mwaminifu sana katika ndoa, mwanaume anaweza kukwama kutoa uamuzi kwa kudhani au kujidanganya kwamba huenda anaweza asipate mwanamke mwingine mwenye sifa kama hizo. Huku ni kujidanganya kwa sababu kila sifa aliyo nayo binadamu fulani, ya kitabia, ipo kwa binadamu mwingine hata kama siyo wengi.


    Ukweli ni kwamba mwanaume anaweza kushindwa kumpa talaka mkewe ambaye anakaribia kumuuwa kwa matatizo yake kwa sababu ambazo mtu mwingine anaweza kuzishangaa. Lakini jambo la msingi kwa mwanaume kama huyu ni kujaribu kupima kwa makini, je hizo sababu zinazomfanya asite kuachana na mkewe huyu zina nguvu au maana kuliko maisha yake, hasa mwili na akili yake?



    Angalizo: Sishauri watu kuachana, lakini nashauri watu kujua kwamba ndoa zenye mashaka makubwa ni hatari kwa afya na maisha yao
     
  2. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Kwa kweli hizi guides ziimekua nyingi sasa... Ngoja na mimi nitafute guide nirushe uzi...
     
  3. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 13, 2012
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    ndoa ndoana,ukioa pasua kichwa ndo hivo Baba Canta inakula kwako.Vipi mkuu yamekukuta?
     
  4. gango2

    gango2 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 13, 2012
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    duuu!! nimpependa angalizo!! hushauri watu kuachana ..but umetoa ushauri mkitaka kuachana mfanye nini!!!
     
  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #5
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Mimi kwa mama CantaNgina nimefika.............Nawashauri wenye ndoa pasua kichwa...........
     
  6. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Anko mwanamke namna hiyo mume anaweza kutamani akheira na yeye bado mzima....
     
  7. amba.nkya

    amba.nkya JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Haki ya Mungu, Mtambuzi kweli unatambua mambo, kama ulijua jinsi ninavyokumbana na shulba lakini bado nakomaa tu kuishi naye..........nimekugongea like pia.
     
  8. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Maana mimi nachukia kuachana asema BWANA Mungu wa Israel ... awaye yote asimtende mke wa ujana wake mambo ya hiana malaki 2: 15.
     
  9. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 13, 2012
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    wengine wanashindwa kuchukua maamuzi magumu kwa sababu wametoka mbali,Mtambuzi unawazungumziaje hawa?
     
  10. BPM

    BPM JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 13, 2012
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    mtambuzi, kwa huu uzi uko sahihi kwani asilimia kubwa ya sie wanaume huwa tunajaribu au kuona aibu matokeo ya maamuzi yetu mazito ambayo huamini yanaweza kutoa mwelekeo tofauti na ule uliopo ...
     
  11. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #11
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Na hilo huwaponza wanawake wengi. Kwa kuwa walikula dagaa wakati wa shida, wakipata mafanikio, wanajisahau na kugeuka kuwa pasua kichwa. Hakuna mwanandoa yeyote, awe mwanamke au mwanaume anagependa kuishi maisha ya ndoa yasiyo na chembe ya amani.............Bado nasisitiza kuwa jambo la muhimu ni kufanya tathmini na kujikagua kama ndoa hiyo inaashiria kukupaleka kaburini kwa maradhi au la,.............Kama inaashiria kukuletea visukari, presha, deppresion, na Hypertension, basi ndoa hiyo haifai kabisa!
     
  12. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Mzee Mtambuzi,

    Mimi nimekimbilia hii sred ili nijue mbinu za kumuacha mke wangu....sasa mbona umetoa tu maelezo ya kutetea ndoa isivunjwe wakati mie nataka mbinu za kuvunja ndoa yangu.....huyu mke wangu ananikera balaaa.....so plse come again na mbinu za kumuacha mke ukianza na kusema mbinu namba : 1, 2, 3, 4, n.k

    Hizi ndoa zinatunyima usingizi bana fanya mambo mzeee tupate hizo hints .....plse
     
  13. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 13, 2012
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    mimi ni muhanga mmojawapo wa maneno yako hapo juu ......yaaani najuta kuoa!!!
     
  14. LexAid

    LexAid JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Mimi na kubaliana na wewe 100% na ndio sababu nimejitoa kaka...We only live once. why Suffer?
     
  15. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #15
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Ni wanandoa wengi ambao huishi na watu ambao wapo tofauti kabisaaaaa na vile ambavo walikua hao wenza wao wanaji portray kabla/siku za mwanzo za ndoa. Unakua so dissapointed kiasi kwamba kwa mwenye roho nyepesi humbadilisha na kua tu kasha katika maisha yake, watu walomzungua (ndugu, jamaa na watoto); Siku zote wamkuta asmile kumbe tu ni Plastic smile.... Hata sikumoja huwezi bahatisha kukuta tabasamu lake limefikia macho yake (kiashirio cha furaha toka rohoni). Anatamani saana aachane na huyo mwenza lakini anashindwa kwa sababu mbali mbali katika jamii kama zifuatazo:-



    1. Imani ya Dini. Hasa dini ya Kikristo ambayo talaka ni kazi saana. Unakuta ni muumini mzuri sana wa dini ila tokana na kwamba amuogopa Mungu na ajitahidi afuate sheria za maamrisho yake ipasavo anaona bora kuendelea kuumia.
    2. Reaction ya jamii aliyotoka, aidha familia yenyewe ama jamii kwa ujumla; kuna makabila mengine mkisha oana ni aibu mno kuachana na mke/mme wako. yaani unakua "nuksi" utanyanyapaliwa wewe mpaka ukome!
    3. Baadhi ya career ambazo twaendesha.... for instance siasa. Ndoa nyingi za wanasiasa inakua kama wana dimba dimba tu.
    4. Woga... woga wa kuanza maisha upya... mhusika anaona kama vile pekeyake hataweza kabisa kuhimili maisha na vishindo vyake, anaona ataadhirika, anaona atatia aibu hvo anaona bora ajikaze aishi hivo hivo kama kasha.

    Ndoa na familia ni msingi mzuri saana wa malezi ya watoto. Ni moja ya institutiona yenye heshima yake kubwa saana katika jamii (na it deserves the respect); Mimi ADI hapa nafikiria... maybe it is better the above vigezo nimetaja viwepo na viendelee kua na nguvu ili kua na wanandoa katika jamii.... for naamini ndoa zetu nyingi zinamatatizo ambayo hayasimuliki. Na kama ingekua amri yetu kila mmoja angetaka aachike. Naomba nisiwe quoted vibaya kua naamaanisha hivo kwa yangu, nimeona niongelee in general sababu ndio hali halisi.

    Mtambuzi habari yako kaka.....
     
  16. Mgombezi

    Mgombezi JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 13, 2012
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    Kwa taarifa yako wote wanakera, utakapomuacha huyo; utapata anaekukera mara 100 ya huyo - watch out. Kinachofanya watu waendelee kuishi na wake zao ni kuvumiliana na kuchukuliana. Vilevile tambua kwamba mwenye tatizo ni wewe, badilika wewe kwanza.
     
  17. TaiJike

    TaiJike JF-Expert Member

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    Asante Babu ntafata nyayo zako maana kila siku ni wosia mpya.
     
  18. LexAid

    LexAid JF-Expert Member

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    Mgombezi acha ujinga wewe, Nani kakwambia kua ni lazima ukipata mwingine atakua na matatizo zaidi? Hizo ni imani mbovu zinazowafanya wanandoa wasiwe na amani kakti maisha yao, wawe watumwa wa wenzao, na kufanya mapenzi nje ya ndoa zao. Uvumilivu unakikomo bwana, baada ya hapo hakuna mapenzi tena...ni mateso tuu!
     
  19. F

    Flowereddy Member

    #19
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    Na ni njia zipii za kuachana na mwanaume mkorofi! Maana si wanawake pekee wakorofi, na wanaume makauzu tena zaidi ya dagaa wapo.
     
  20. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #20
    Feb 13, 2012
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    Da' AshaDii, mie mzima wa Afya, hofu na mashaka ni kwako wewe na familia yako mlioko mbali na upeo wa macho yangu, na utakapo kujua khali zetu, mie na familia yangu tuwazima wa afya na tu salama buheri....................
    Asalaaamu Aleikhum Da AshaDii...............

    Baada ya salaam, ningependa tu kusema kuwa naheshimu sana maoni yako, na huwa nafarijika saana pale nionapo neno lako kwenye uzi wowote ninaoutundika humu.


    Pamoja Daima................

     
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