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Unasumbuliwa na tatizo la kutodumu na mpenzi mmoja?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Apr 4, 2012.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 4, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
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    Ni matumaini yangu marafiki mtakuwa mko poa na mnaendelea na majukumu ya kazi za kila siku. Kama kawaida kupitia safu hii tunapata kujifunza yahusuyo mapenzi.
    Ninapoandika makala haya, najaribu kujenga picha kwa vijana wangu wakali kunako anga la muziki wa Bongo Fleva, Ali Kiba na

    Judith Wambura ‘Jide’ walipoimba; hakunaga mapenzi yale… kupendana ni zama za kale!... siku hizi kwa kudanganyana, mvulana msichana, ishakuwa poapoa tu.
    Kizazi cha zamani hakikupata shida sana katika hili. Kilisubiri muda muafaka ufike ndipo mtu athubutu kufanya maamuzi ya

    kuingia katika uhusiano ambapo ndani ya muda mfupi basi ndoa ilichukuwa nafasi.
    Kizazi cha sasa hivi, kimetawaliwa na tamaa, vijana wanaingia katika uhusiano wakipelekwa na tamaa za kimwili pasipo kutazama umri na madhara ya kukurupukia mapenzi. Matokeo yake sasa, ndiyo pale

    unapoona vijana wanateseka katika kumpata mke au mume wa maisha.
    Ukweli ni kwamba, tatizo na kutodumu na mpenzi mmoja kwa sasa ni sugu haswa kutokana na mapenzi kuzidiwa nguvu na fedha au hulka ya mmoja wenu.Ilivyo sasa, ni rahisi sana mtu kuachana na mpenzi huyu kuhamia

    kwa yule akitegemea kupata kitu fulani ambacho amekuwa akikikosa kutoka kwa mpenzi wake.
    Ni vema sasa, tukajiuliza nini faida ya huko kuhamahama kwa kila kukicha? Matokeo yake ni nini? Hapo ndipo utagundua kwamba yule unayemfuata ukidhani atakupa suluhu ya tatizo ulilokuwa nalo kwa mpenzi wako wa awali tayari na yeye ameshatendwa sana, moyo wake hauwezi kuwa kwako moja kwa moja.Cha msingi hapa ni

    kufahamu alama za nyakati na kuweza kupambanua mambo ili kuendana na mazingira uliyonayo. Vipengele vifuatavyo vitakusaidia kutambua nini cha kufanya katika ulimwengu huu ambao mapenzi yanaanza kupoteza thamani yake ili kuweza kufikia malengo.

    1. TAZAMANENI VIGEZO


    Kumtazama mpenzi wako inamaana kubwa sana katika uhusiano, haswa kwenye hatua za mwanzoni kabla hujafanya maamuzi kuwa mke au mume. Inakupasa rafiki kutazama aina ya mwanaume au mwanamke utakayemtaka atakuwa sahihi kudumu katika uhusiano kwa muda gani?
    Jiwekee malengo ya karibu kwa kutazama utayari wa mwenzako. Tumia akili yako ya kuzaliwa kuweza kupambanua mambo ambayo hayahitaji elimu ya chuo kikuu.Kabla ya kuanzisha uhusiano mpya tayari utakawa umeshaona mengi siku zilizopita kitu ambacho kitakusaidia kumpima mwenzi wako kama yupo tayari kuanzisha safari mpya ya mapenzi yenye malengo.

    2. USIHARAKIE PENZI

    Marafiki wengi kwa sasa wanapoingia katika uhusiano huwa wanafuata tendo la ndoa tu. Ni bora ukasubiri kwa muda fulani ili uweze kumfahamu mwenziyo anamsimamo gani kabla hujazama ndani ya penzi.
    Tendo la ndoa ni kitu cha mwisho katika mapenzi. Kabla hujafikia kufanya tendo hilo ni vema ukawa tayari umeshapita hatua kadhaa zitakazoweza kukusaidia mwenendo wa tabia za mwenzi wako kabla safari yenu haijaota mizizi.

    3. MUWEKE KARIBU

    Ukaribu katika uhusiano unasaidia sana, hapo itakusaidia kutambua vitu gani mwenzio anafurahi kuvipata kutoka kwako na vipi havipendi. Yawezekana kabisa ukampatia au kumfanyia kitu anachotaka ili iweze kukusaidia mbinu nyingine za kumfanya awe karibu na wewe utamfahamu zaidi.
    Ukaribu huo, utasaidia kumfahamu mpenzi wako kwa vitendo, utampima kama moyo wake ni wa kuridhika ama la! Huwezi kumfahamu mtu wakati muda mwingi unakuwa bize na mambo yako, tenga muda kila wakati uweze kuwa na mpenzi wako ili uweze kupata mambo mengi kutoka kwake.

    4. JIFUNZE TABIA ZAKE

    Unapojifunza tabia za mpenzi wako, ni rahisi udhaifu alionao katika uhusiano. Yawezekana ukabaini kitu ambacho ni rahisi kuweza kumbadilisha tabia zake pasipo hata yeye kujua kama unambadilisha.
    Tabia ya mtu huwa haijifichi hata siku moja, hata kama ataamua kuficha makucha lakini mwisho utakuja gundua. Wengi wanaingia katika mapenzi kwa ajili ya kupata masilahi fulani huwa hawapendi kucheleweshewa hivyo atajitoa mwenyewe kabla hata moyo wako haujazama katika penzi lake.
    5.

    ZUNGUMZENI UKWELI


    Ukweli huwa ndiyo silaha kubwa katika mapenzi. Mmoja wenu akiwa muongo hakika penzi haliwezi kufika mbali. Jaribu kumwambia mpenzi wako ukweli wa hali uliyonayo huku ukitazama mapokezi yake.
    Kwa mtu mwenye mapenzi ya dhati siku zote huamini katika ukweli. Epuka kuongopa, jadilini mambo yenu. Wekeni mikakati ya penzi lenu ili muweze kufikia malengo.Ni vema ‘ukamchana live’ mpenzi wako kwa kumwambia, “najua unajua kama najua sasa kwa nini tudanganyane?” Wakati huo kila mtu ataona ipo haja ya kutulia sababu kama ni ujanja basi wote mmeshapitia nyanja zote hivyo mnapoamua kutulia basi mnatulia kweli.
     
  2. Janjaweed

    Janjaweed JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 4, 2012
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    nimefanya yote hayo lakini sikai silencer kabisa
     
  3. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 4, 2012
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    Namba 3,nimeshindwa kui'bold ila chungu kwangu!
     
  4. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 4, 2012
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    Mkuu kila ukijaribu kujituliza kama kasuku unashtuka umeruka ka kunguru? Utakuwa unaumiza wanawake lakini.
     
  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #5
    Apr 4, 2012
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    Mimi nilishawowa kitambooo......................
     
  6. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 4, 2012
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    Hapa napita tu... kumbe ni kwa wale wanaopigwa vibuti kilasiku!
     
  7. m

    mtengwa JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 4, 2012
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    Thanx kaka, nimekupata
     
  8. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

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    Hujui kama una watoto ambao hawajaingia kwenye hiyo taasisi???
     
  9. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Turuke kama senene.

     
  10. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Ila heading imekaa kama tangazo la maji marefu, nina dawa ya kumtuliza mpenzi, kumvuta aliye mbali, kung'arisha nyota, kuongeza nguvu n.k.
     
  11. Mtende

    Mtende JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 4, 2012
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    duuh mbona mawazo yapo mbali kiasi hicho kongosho?
     
  12. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 4, 2012
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    ukweli wabaki kuwa wapenzi wengi ni dalili ya matatizo ya kisaikolojia kwa yule anayehangaikahangaika..........nao....ni kuwa ana mapungufu ambayo adhania atayamaliza kwa kuiburutaburuta na hao wengiwengi..................mwishowe baada ya kutumia nguvu nyingi hubakia kusononeka kuwa hana bao kokote kule...........wengi wa ni wapweke hata kama wamezungukwa na mabucha kibao...........
     
  13. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

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    madamex........................vibuti ni shehemu ya kujifunza pia.......................we learn more from rejection than we do from total acceptance........................furahia kibuti kinapokuja, after all life is for those who are fearless of rejection and they keep on trying until they reap the intended rewards.........
     
  14. nitonye

    nitonye JF-Expert Member

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    Hizi software zinaoperate vizuri pale coverage ya network inapokuwa full
     
  15. Janjaweed

    Janjaweed JF-Expert Member

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    kweli aisee.... sijui kwanini sikai silensa
     
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