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Unapooa au kuolewa na mtu usiyempenda

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Oct 11, 2011.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Sizungumzii kwamba ulikuwa unampenda zamani halafu baadaye mapenzi yakachuja. Sizungumzii kwamba ulikuwa unampenda mtu kiukweli kabisa na ukajitoa jumla jumla katika taasisi takatifu ya ndoa na ukafurahia mwanzoni lakini baadaye vikachachuka. Nazungumzia wale ambao toka mwanzo kabisa anajua kabisa anaoa au anaoelewa na mtu asiyempenda hasa kama alivyokuwa anampenda "fulani' ambaye kutokana na sababu zilizokuwa nje yao hawakuweza kufunga ndoa.

    Sasa unaingia katika ndoa ukijua kabisa kuwa moyo wako ulishatekwa na mtu mwingine na majaribio yako yote ya maisha kumuondoa moyoni yalishindikana na hivyo ukakubali kuendelea na maisha ukijua kabisa kuwa moyo wako uko kwa fulani. Ulijitahidi kumfuta lakini ikatokea siku mkakutana au mkaonana na kujua kuwa mioyo yenu bado inawaka kwa mapenzi ya ajabu. Huko uliko labda umeshajaliwa na vijunior kadhaa. Lakini katika udhaifu wako ukaamua kwenda "kuonana" na yule mwenzio wa zamani na kwa kweli "kuonana" mlionana; siyo mara moja wala mara mbili.

    Na yeye huko aliko kaoa au kaolewa lakini naye kabisa kabisa anakumbuka mapenzi yenu. Sasa mwisho mnajikuta mnakula kuwili kama ndumilakuwili. Huku unafurahia maisha ya ndoa na usalama wa ndoa lakini kule kwingine unafurahia mapenzi ambayo unaamini kabisa ni "haki" yenu kwa sababu hayakuwahi kufa.

    Katika mazingira hayo unajiona ni mnafiki una cheat au humtendei haki mwenzio?
    Je, kama ungepewa uwzo wa kutoka kwenye ndoa na yule mwingine akatoka kwenye ya kwake (tukiassume kuwa hilo linawezekana) je ungetoka ili muweze kuwa pamoja?
    Itakuwaje kama ukitoka kwenye ndoa yako na yeye akatoka kwenye ya kwake halafu mkaishi pamoja na mambo yasiwe vile ulivyofikiria? siyo kwamba ikawa yale ya "kukosa mwana na maji moto"?

    Je yawezekana kumbe upendo ni zaidi ya hisia tu ya mahaba bali pia ni uamuzi wa akili? Lakini moyo kweli ukipenda waweza kukoma?

    tafakari ya leo
     
  2. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 11, 2011
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    naisikia harufu ya uturi wa FF
     
  3. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Hii ni kwa wenye ndoa tu au?
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 12, 2011
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    hii ni mara ya pili mwanakijiji unaleta hii mada.....pole sana aisee.....
     
  5. B

    Bhavick JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Umeniweza!
     
  6. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Huku kwetu Tanzania zaidi wengi wanavumilia tu kuishi kwenye ndoa huku wakiendelea kucheat." Kwenu" huko sihitaji kukuambia ila talaka zinatoka; wengine kama talaka ina maumivu sana (financially) na pia kama mwenza ana roho ngumu basi anatengeneza kifo cha mwenzake. Na ndio maana mke/mume akifa kifo cha ajabu2 mshukiwa wa kwanza ni mwenza wake!
    Ingependeza zaidi kwa wote Mke na mume wafeel the same; kwani baba unaweza ukawa na mpenzi wako nje lkn mama mapenzi yake yote yako kwako. Na ndani ya ndoa hakuna maudhi; huoni hapo maamuzi yatakuwa magumu hata kama talaka inawezekana! Kupersue furaha yako wakati unahurt si tu ur loving wife lkn the home (watoto n everything) ambayo mmebuild. Kwa case kama hiyo an occassional and responsible cheating (kwa upande wangu) ndio naona suluhu!
     
  7. s

    shalis JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 12, 2011
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    ahhaha ama kweli aisiiaye mvua imemnyea... kwamba ni OCCASSIONAL AND RESPONSIBLE CHEATING...haya ngoja magwine waje maana hii topic ina ukwlei ndani yake mara nyingi hatuoani na wale tuwapendao kwa sababu mbalimbali hasa wanawake
     
  8. gango2

    gango2 JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 12, 2011
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    Nawasiwasi hili jambo unalitenda wewe sasa unataka tukwambie hakuna kosa.........hakuna KAMATA MWIZI MEN
     
  9. Ngaliba Dume

    Ngaliba Dume JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 12, 2011
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    hii imenigusa kidogo,nina mrembo tumekutana zaid ya miaka mitatu ilyopta,alikuwa na jamaa yake,amejtambulisha adi kutoa mahali..lakn mwanamke hamtak tena,anahs mi ndo chaguo lake,analia na kujuta kwanini alichelewa kunifahamu..yuko tayali kubaki bila kuolewa kuliko kunikosa mimi...ANANIPA MITIHAN KWELI,Aya mambo ni kweli
     
  10. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #10
    Oct 12, 2011
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    Mwanakijiji, nitakukumbusha kitu kimoja.

    Kwa kawaida siku zote mtu anapokuwa na mahusiano ya aina hii (i.e. la ndoa na la wizi/kuibia/nje) huwa ana kawaida ya kupendelea la nje (na ndio maana akaliruhusu kuingilia la ndani). na kwa kuwa la nje ni la wizi (mnakuwa na muda mfupi wa kuwa pamoja tena wa kuibia) huwa ni tamu na unatamani uliminiki kabisa uligeuze liwe la ndani (Stolen kisses are sweetest- so they say). Inapokuwa hivi haimaanishi kuwa ukiwa nalo lile ndipo utaridhika na utaishi maisha ya Cinderela peponi au Romeo and Juliet!! La haha.

    Sababu kuu ya kulitamani sana la nje ni kuwa- kwa sababu unalipendelea kuliko la ndani, basi akili na milango yote ya hisia inafungwa kwa ndani kiasi cha kuwa unamwona mwenzio hakufai, unajuta na hata yale mazuri akiyafanya unaishia tu kuguna ........mh huyu naye!! anajishaua tu wakati ukifanyiwa the same thing na wa nje unakuwa excited na badala ya kuguna na kumwona anajishaua unabakia na Woow, wow and wow again! Si ajabu ukipewa nafasi ya kuishi naye kama mkeo/mumeo kwa muda flani unawezajikuta unagundua kuwa kumbe naye si wa kiviiiile.

    Remember: The greener the pasture on the other side of the fence, means more water and hard work to keep it that way. Why dont you make your own grass green using the same water and efforts you are to use in that other side?
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 12, 2011
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    [​IMG]...pokea chokileti zako!....maana haki lillah umegonga pale pale ninapopalalama siku zote...ubarikiwe sana ewe mwj1....

    ...mapenzi haya ni kitu gani mpaka watu wanafikia kuua mtu? mapenzi haya ni kitu gani mke/mume uliyeng'ang'ana kuoana naye na hata kutishia kujiua baada ya muda unamtoa thamani na kumuoana si lolote si chochote?

    tatizo tunaachia akili zetu zituongoze badala ya mioyo yetu...tumejikuta hatujui kikomo cha mapenzi...
    no wonder wengi wetu, hata humu jf bado twajiuliza ati mapenzi ni nini!
     
  12. Jomse

    Jomse JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 12, 2011
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    Mara nyingi kuthamini na kuona mahusiano ya huko nyuma ni bora ni kujidanganya tu,Unapaswa kkukithamini na kukienzi kile ulichonacho na kila kitu kitakuwa sawa.
     
  13. F

    Flowereddy Member

    #13
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Duh!!! Imenigusaje hii???
     
  14. Zneba

    Zneba Senior Member

    #14
    Oct 12, 2011
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    kwakua umeamua kuonana na mtu ambae huku mpenda kamwe huwezi kusahau penzi la yule uliykuwa umempenda suluhisho lilipo kamwe usioe/olewa na mtu ambae moyo wako haujaridhika jamani kwenye ndoa kuna mambo mengi na kubwa linalobeba hayo makorokocho yanayotokea ni jinsi mliivyopendana tangu siku ya kwanza mlipoonana
     
  15. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 12, 2011
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    MH! umeuiza maswali mengi kidogo hapa.
    1. Kwakua huajzungumza kwa kuegemea upande mmoja mume tu au mke tu,
    basi assume wakati we unatamani kumwacha mke/mme wako na huyo mwnzio
    nae akiwa anatamani amwache mume/mke wake ili muwe pamoaja, basi hao mnaowaacha
    (mume/mke wako unaetanamani kumwacha) nae antamani kukuacha wewe. so hapa ni ngoma droo na
    janga kwa watoto wenu. ni bora ukisha adimitt kua umemkosa mtu
    (despite the fact kua unampenda/mnapendana) kwli uachane nae hata kwa kujilazimisha kuserve hayo mengine
    usije sababisha ukakosa yoote.

    2. kuhusu kufeel sense ya kucheat, ni dhahiri kua utakua unacheet.
    kumbuka the game of love sometimes ni stupid sana, while humendi mwenzio inawezekana
    yeye anakupenda ajab.what if he/she find out kua moyo wako na hata mwili somtime hua haupo kwake??

    3. Hatuwezi ultimately kusema mapenzi ni suala la hisia ya moyo kimahaba tuu.akili pia ina sehem katika mapenzi.
    lakini ni ukweli wa wazi kua moyo huanzisha hisia na ndio unaodominate potion kubwa ya hisia
    za mapenzi. kama moyo hautaki ukawa in relation kwa basis ya akili upo hatarini kulikoni akili kukataa halaf ukawa in relation on the baisis
    ya hisia za moyo wako. nadhani severaly ulishasikia mtu akisema "listern to your hart" lakini hua sio "your mind".

    Kwa ifupi hii ni mana pana sana kama ni kujadili.
    Ni mawaazo yangu mwanakijiji.
     
  16. Chauro

    Chauro JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Asante Mbu, ukweli kwa wengi huwa inahitaji muda kujifunza ulichokiandika na wakati mwingine thamani ya kitu chochote huonekana pale kinapokuwa hakipo.Inawezekana hata huyo unayeamini unampenda na kama utaamua kumuoa anaweza akawa naye hayupo kwako haya mambo ni magumu sana................


     
  17. Sooth

    Sooth JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Hili jambo limeshamiri sana siku hizi. Nilishawahi kuligusia, na-post kwa ajili ya wasomaji wapya....

    Ndoa ni kitu tukufu, misahafu ni shahidi,
    Yataka moyo mkunjufu, hakuna mlio wa bundi,
    Zawadi kama mikufu, tuzo njema kwa ushindi,
    Kuagana na wa zamani, siku hizi imeshakuwa fasheni?

    Zamani likuwa sifa, heshima liwekwa mbele,
    Binti alifundwa vyema, katu sipige kelele,
    Uwanja safi daima, watoto sipate upele,
    Kuagana na wa zamani, siku hizi imeshakuwa fasheni?

    Ndoa meingia doa, leo kuna kuagana,
    Siku muhimu ya ndoa, wa zamani anapewa,
    Penzi kama kukohoa, ni tabu kwa waungwana,
    Kuagana na wa zamani, siku hizi imeshakuwa fasheni?

    Kama wa zamani mzuri, kwanini hakukuoa,
    Ka anukia uturi, nenda kapeleke posa,
    Kwao huyu umekiri, kwa yule nataka poza,
    Kuagana na wa zamani, siku hizi imeshakuwa fasheni?

    Fungate haina mvuto, viungo vimelegea,
    Ndoa sasa ni kipato, na bado utamegewa,
    Ni moto pia fukuto, la upate ngekewa,
    Kuagana na wa zamani, siku hizi imeshakuwa fasheni?
     
  18. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Nakubaliana na wewe. Ndoa ni lazima itokane na mapenzi na si huruma au shinikizo lingine lolote kama fedha etc. Tatizo watu wanafanya mzaa na kutumbukia kwenye ndoa kama fashion.


    Kuna watu hapa walishakuja kuomba ushauri wengine wakisema hawana feelings kabisa kwa wachumba zao; bado wakashauriwa eti waoe/waolewe tu mapenzi yatakuja baadae. Haya ndio matokeo. Ndoa yenye msingi wa pendo haiyumbishwi na vimada or any kind of cheating. Mwanaume/mwanamke atatoka nje ya ndoa lakini mapenzi yaliyoijenga ndoa yatamsuta na atajirudi. But if there was no love at all ni nini kitamfanya aangalie nyuma???

     
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