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Umeniharibia maisha! ...what?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Jun 19, 2011.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 19, 2011
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    [​IMG][​IMG]"...ndio! umeniharibia maisha yangu!"


    ...hebu niwaulize nyie wana JF Tusaidiane mawazo, maoni na ushauri kuhusiana na hili.

    Je?

    Nini mtazamo wako mtu anapokwambia umemharibia maisha!
    Tatizo nini?
    kwanini ujifikirie maisha hayana tena thamani bila fulani?

    Tujadili
    kwanini kinyongo, chuki, fitna, wivu, hasira, yakichanganyika na mapenzi yanachangia walio wengi kupoteza matumaini ya maisha.

    Je,
    utauchukuliaje msiba wa aliyekuwa wako, aliyejiua sababu "umemharibia maisha!," au,
    Je,
    unamchukuliaje mwenza wako ambaye anakwambia atajiua kwani maisha yake hayana thamani bila wewe?

    Nini suluhisho kukabiliana na 'mtihani huo'

    [​IMG]...lengo, nia na madhumuni ya topik hii ni kuwapa insight ya mental health
    (kuboresha.)
    Kwa wenye mioyo dhaifu, natanguliza ombi la msamaha kama nitakuwa nimewakwaza kwa njia moja au nyingine.

    Nataka kuamini kwamba kila mmoja wetu amejaaliwa utambuzi na uchaguzi.
    Unapochagua, ina maana pia unajikubalisha matokeo yatayotokana na maamuzi yako.
    Kumtupia mwenzako lawama ya "amekuharibia" ina maana hukuwa makini kwenye utambuzi na uchaguzi wa
    maamuzi yako.

    Ni jinsi gani twaweza boresha utambuzi, uchaguzi na maamuzi yetu
    kwenye maisha na mapenzi kwa ujumla?

    WHAT DO YOU WANT IN LIFE?
     
  2. Shantel

    Shantel JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 19, 2011
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    Mkiwa makini kwenye maamuzi yenu katu hili halitakukumba kamwe, hii yote inatokana na maamuzi mabaya uliyofanya awali mpaka kupelekea kupoteza miaka mingi kwa mtu ambaye hata hana nia ku ku spend the rest of his/her life with you,mwisho wa siku anakumwaga na kujiona umeharibiwa maisha kumbe katika uhalisia umejiharibia mwenyewe kwa kutokuwa makini, unajua mpoteza muda utamjua tu mapema, sasa wengine wamekuwa na hope kwamba kuna siku atabadilika, wakati kuna msemo wa kuwa mja haachi asili yake
     
  3. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

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    mimi kwa upande wangu hakuna kuharibiwa maisha...

    Labda kupotezewa muda....
    Ntarudi tena, ngoja nitafakari!..
     
  4. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #4
    Jun 19, 2011
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    Mbu sweetie
    Nafikiri kuna haja ya watu kuwa na utashi wa kudefine 'mapenzi' ni nini? nini maana ya kupenda/ Tatizo kama hili hutokea pale mtu anapodefine kupenda kuwa ni kumpata mtu ambaye atamkabidhi mwili, moyo, roho na kila kitu chake kwa jina la mapenzi badala ya kuidefine kama kupata mwenzi ambaye ataweza kusaidiana naye kusukuma gurudumu la maisha ya kimapenzi hapa duniani but it doesnt means substituting your very own soul kwa ya mwenzio!! Akikata kamba unajiona huna tena thamani.

    Nafikiri tusipende kulalamika ......Umeniharibia maisha.........It is I that I allow that
    Remember ....No one screw your life, unless you gave them the screw driver!

    Ila wewe unanitisha! what is it??!
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 19, 2011
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    Mtazamo wangu mtu akiniambia nimemharibia maisha:Kwa mtu ninayempenda sidhani kama nitamharibia maisha,kama kumharibia maisha anayozungumizia ni kumpotezea malengo kama vile masomo au mimba n.k,ambayo haikutarajiwa basi nitakuwa karibu naye na kumsaidia kadri ya uwezo wangu ila yeye ajue kwamba amechachangia kiasi gani nimemharibia maisha yake?na alikuwa hajui matokeo?kama sio mwelewa basi lawama zake hazisaidii maana yeye pia alichangia ktk kuharibu maisha yake.

    Kwanini nione maisha hayana thamani?:Mimi kama Excellent naamini maisha yangu yana thamani sana na ninajua huyo mtu nilikutana naye tu na kabla yake nilikuwa na mfumo wangu binafsi wa maisha,kwahiyo hakuna kitakachobadilika maana najua maisha nikupambana ktk situation yoyote.

    Kwanini kinyongo,chuki,fitina,wivu,hasira?:ni aliniharibia maisha,nadhani atakapokuwa mbali na mimi nitakuwa nimeutua mzigo wa mwiba na sitakuwa na chuki,fitna wala wivu au hasira.

    Msiba wa mtu uliyemharibia maisha unaumiza sana,kama ulimharibia maisha mfano ulimbaka,H.I.V n.k lazima moyo uumie na daima hilo litakushitaki na hutapata amani wala utulivu wa moyo kwa kumharibia mtu ambaye ni innocent.

    Mwenza wangu akiniambia atajiua maana maisha yake hayana thamani bila mimi:ukweli ni kwamba akinisaliti halafu aniletee hiyo kauli then tutaona ni jinsi gani maisha yake hayana thamani bila mimi.

    Suluhisho kukabiliana na mtihani huo:Suluhisho ni kuwa makini katika uhusiano wa kimapenzi,kufanya ngono salama,kuwa waaminifu,kuaminiana,kuthaminiana na kuboresha mapenzi kila siku.Pale inapotokea mwingine kapata tatizo kwa ajili ya mwingine mchukuliane,kuelewana,kutafuta suluhisho pamoja na siyo kumkimbia mwenza wako wakati wa matatizo.
     
  6. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 19, 2011
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    Mbu kudos kwa hili...
    Najiuliza mara kwa mara juu ya jambo hili, japo zaidi nawazia upande wa pili zaidi, upande wa mwachaji. ni zipi haki za mtu aliyemchoka mwenza wake?
    kwa kawaida mwanzo wa mapenzi ni mutual, ni jambo la pande mbili, ila kuachana mara nyingi ni jambo la upande mmoja.....mwachaji anaanzisha ama anatafuta sababu za kuachana.
    Kwa nini mwachaji anabebeshawa zigo la lawana za kuacha? kama amechoka uhusiano si yampasa kutoka?
    najua umelenga kumsaidia anayeachwa!

    btw: falsafa yangu ya mapenzi ni kupenda kwa muda uliopo, naamini hakuna binadamu awezae kunifanya nichukie maisha yangu, isipokua mimi mwenyewe.
     
  7. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 19, 2011
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    Duh hiyo bold imenikamata sana, well mi nadhani ni mtu kushindwa kuelewa au kujua anataka mwnza wa aina gani, anajiingiza kwa mtu na kuanza kumsoma wakati anakuwa tayari kwenye mahusiano, cha muhimu ni mtu ku focus, kujua nini ni nini, na kitu gani hakipendi......kuchagua mwenza sio jambo la kukurupuka, wengi wetu tunafanya maamuzi ya haraka na kuja kujuta badae, tunapokatishwa ndio tunaanza kujutia maamuzi yetu, mwisho nahitimisha "hakuna kuharibiwa maisha na mtu ni wewe mwenyewe ndio ulijiharibia" kwa kushindwa kuchagua nazi mpaka ukapat koroma
     
  8. Avatar

    Avatar JF Gold Member

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    Nadhan hakuna kitu/kitendo kinachoitwa kuharibu maisha, wanaosema wameharibiwa maisha HAWAJUI MAANA YA MAISHA!..
     
  9. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Nadhani ni aina flan ya uselfish.... Maisha mmeishi pamoja iweje ulalamike yako ndo yameharibiwa? Na unapotishia kujiua lengo lako ni nini?


    I have bn there and believe me usipokuwa makini utajikuta unastick kwa mtu si kwa kuwa unampenda la hasha ni kwa kuwa unaogopa kumwacha kwani atajiua!
     
  10. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Jun 19, 2011
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    MJ1 umeelezea vizuri sana.
    Kwa definition hii utaona kwamba hawa watu WANAJIHARIBIA MAISHA wenyewe.
    Na unapompa ushauri kabla ya tatizo, unaweza kuonekana unataka kumbomoa
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 19, 2011
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    fab Shantel!

    hapo kwenye ipo siku atabadilika hapo!....'hope over intelligence and experience!'
    Ipi ni njia sahihi kuweza kubalance hiyo equation?...

    Mapenzi ni nini?

    Tafsiri yangu; Mapenzi ni pamoja na mwenza wako anavyoweza kukufanya ujiskie (unapendwa.)
    La msingi, unapopendwa nawe unawajibu wa kumaintain ama kuzidisha yaliyokufanya upendwe.

    Jiulize, Mpenzi wako alikupendea nini awali?
    Don't take love for Granted.
     
  12. m

    mwabaluhi JF-Expert Member

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    Easier said than...
     
  13. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Jun 19, 2011
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    Mbu unajua unapkutana na mtu kama huyu na mawiliWapo wale wanaotikisa kiberiti na wale wanamaanisha kweli. Wanaotikisa kiberiti ndo hao wanaorusha matangazo hewani kuwa watajiua wakati wanaomaanisha anaweza asilipaishe ila akakupa signal. So ni muhimu kuwa makini kabla ya kuamua! Wale wanaotikisa dawa yao ni kuwapuuza tu kama husikii vitisho vyao but unachukua taadhari.
     
  14. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...how relieveing having a soulmate like you!

    Mwj1,...life experience imeni shape kwa mengi, na miongoni mwa mawimbi na dhoruba nilizopitia ni pamoja na
    mwenza ambaye baada ya makasheshe, na mimi kusitisha mahusiano nae..aliwahi nitamkia 'najiua!, maisha hayana thamani tena!'...I was shocked!

    Nilijifikiria hiyo itakuwa sababu ya kuisaidia polisi, nilijifikiria hiyo itakuwa sababu ya mimi kunyoshewa vidole na ndugu, jamaa na marafiki kwamba nilisababisha kifo cha fulani,...nikarudisha moyo nyuma...nikasamehe,...nikajiona mie ndio mkosa kwani nimekosa roho ya utu. Nikawa nami ni sehemu ya tatizo lililochangia yeye kunikosea.

    Tangia hapo, kila matatizo yalipokuwa yanatokea nami kufikiria kuhitimisha mahusiano, vitisho viliendelea hivyo hivyo,...Nikaendelea kuwa 'prisoner' wa maamuzi yangu.

    Lakini, ipo siku nikajisemea, ipo siku alimeza panadol...hakufa, ipo siku alisaga chupa hakunywa,...ipo siku alitaka jitupa wakati naendesha gari...je? ni kweli ana nia ya kujidhuru au nami ananiweka majaribuni?

    It's an emotional blackmailing!
     
  15. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Duh we bwana nafikiria kuku'rudishia' proposal yako! We have too many things in common loh hahhh

    Yes kwa hapo ilikuwa emotional blackmailing... Nimejifunza what RR hav just put down, enjoy the love while it last....if it last forever I concider myself blessed and if it last shortly I consider my self lucky. Life has to go on and no one is responsible for your life, only you.
     
  16. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

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    Excellent my sisy.....No one screw your life, unless you gave them the screw driver!

    Ila kuna circumstance fulani fulani ambazo watu hustahili hizo lawama za umeniharibia maisha yangu...mfano,ndo kama Excellent alivyosema kumbaka mtu kama mtoto wa shule ukamuachisha masomo kwa mimba au Ukimwi,mwanandoa kutoka nje ya ndoa na kuleta magonjwa au matatizo mengine,kweli kwa wanakuwa wameharibu maisha ya wenzao.....mara nyingi kwenye mahusiano hili linamaanisha,mtu kapotezewa muda au expectation alizokuwa nazo kwa partner wake hazijafikiwa au kama kuepuka kuwa responsible na maamuzi yake kwa hiyo anaishia kulaumu na kutoa vitisho.
     
  17. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu una maanisha anaeacha asilaumiwe? lawama lazima ziwepo coz kuna upande wa pili ambao umeathirika na kitendo chako, na kila mtu ana haki ya kujisikia au kufanya afanyalo ili ajisikia au ujumbe ukufikie kwamba kaumia kiasi gani, then utampa reason kazi inabaki kwake, kwa mwenye upeo atafurahi kwamba umemwambia umemchoka kwa sasa, ila king'ang'anizi ndio atakuja na single ya kujiua
     
  18. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu RR!

    Nice to see you back for good, ama? haha! well,....lengo ni kubadilishana mawazo, iwapo muachaji na muachwaji atafaidika ndio furaha yangu.

    Kabla ya kuzungumzia muachaji na muachwaji, nigusie hili pia linahusu wale waliokataliwa.
    Kuna watu iwapo waliambiwa, "haiwezekani mimi kuwa nawe!"...hununa na kuanisha cold wars, i.e Chuki, fitna, majungu, etc...yote ni katika kumfanya mhusika ajiskie kana kwamba ametenda dhambi kubwa, au dhambi mbaya sana!

    Kupenda ni jambo la hiari, huwezi mtu kulazimisha kupendwa...ama? ni mapenzi gani hayo ya shingo Upande?
    Unataka na kumlazimisha mhusika eti ajaribu aone kama nae atakupenda, Mapenzi yanajaribiwa?....
    Emotional Blackmailing haisaidii lolote zaidi ya kuvunja urafiki, undugu na mahusiano kuanzia makazini, majumbani na mitaani...

    Kuna umuhimu wa muachwaji kujifunza kupokea maamuzi magumu hata kama hayapendezi. Hiyo ndio maturity.
    Kuomba kuachwa taratibu ili isiume au kutishia kujidhuru naamini kabisa ni ukosefu wa umakini katika maamuzi.
    Uingereza na nchi zilizoendelea wana mental Health Charity kuwasaidia watu wanaokumbwa na msongo huo wa mawazo.

    ...Huku dunia ya tatu, ni wakati na jinsi gani twaweza jifunza maamuzi mazuri?
     
  19. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Mkuu
    Mimi hii imenitokea MARA 2 recently
    Kwanza wanaanza kujiapiza NAFUTA NAMBA ZAKO ZOTE
    Then baadae anakuja na NAONA BORA NIFE TU, SIWEZI KUISHI BILA WEWE CPU, UKISIKIA NIMEKUFA USISHANGAE, NIMESHAKUAGA RASMI.
    Finally inakuja "Kumbe kweli umeshani-delete kwenye mind yako"
     
  20. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #20
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    Hahahh CPU duh kweli limekutokea.... Ila reminder si kina dada tu ambao hukimbilia huko bali kuna wakaka pia haah
     
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