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Uko mbele kutakuwa na ndoa kweli';nahisi zitadisapia kabisa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Pdidy, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Kwa jinsi ndoa za sasa vijana wetu wanavyoziendesha kwa kweli nimeanza kuogopa
    sijui kama watoto wetu kutakuwa na ndoa..nadhan kuna umuhimu mkubwa wa wachungaji kuwaeleza vijana umuhimu wandoa na sio kujaribu..kwa style hizi za vikao tulivyozoea kila siku jummamosi na ijumaa vya harusi kugeuka vikao vya usuluhisi tuna kazi kubwa mbeleni kubwa

    majuzi tulikuwa rosegarden na mzaa chema kwa kweli nilijuta pembeni kukawa na vikao kama 3 kimoja kikawa kinavurugu sana na mwisho nikaamua kumuliza kijana wa vinywaj kulikon akasema jamaa wanasuluhishwa yaonekana wameachana

    niliumia sana sana maana nimekuwa njiani kuaznisha ngo ya kusuluhisha ndoa za watu walioachana ama kutengana na kuomba mungu ndoa suluhisho la kwanza bure la pili utalipia tena pesa nyingi tu

    labda kwa mnaoelekea kuoa kesho kutwa dhambi ya ndoa unajua ni kifo
    kuna maneno unasema nitamlinda na kumpenda mpaka kifo kitutenganisha so ukiingia ukaanzisha zali na wewe ukawa chanzo cha kuachana yaani jiandikie kifo mbele yako nakupenda ndio maana naweka wazi..pale mbele usemi kumfurahisha mama na babayako waliotoka kimara a ama michenzani.....

    Mungu awabariki wanandoa wote wapya mtiwe nguvu kuishi kwa upendo bila kuachana
     
  2. jino kwa jino

    jino kwa jino JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 25, 2011
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    ushauri mzuri............... siku hizi ndoa ni kama fashion muda mfupi zinakwisha
     
  3. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Yaani afadhali ya fashion zinaondoka zingine zinajirudia na kuheshimika ila hizi ndoa za sasa loh@@@@m naomba mapdre na wachungaji wakiwa wanazifungasha wakimaliza wawe wanaenda kujimwagia maji ya baraka kuomba roho za kuachika zisiwakute utakuta una fungisha ndoa huku mmoja wao anajua kabisa jumapili ijayo anachapa lapa..loh ndoa wewe
     
  4. Inkoskaz

    Inkoskaz JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 25, 2011
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    inaumiza kuona idadi ya ndoa zinazovunjika kuliko zinazofungwa..hata zile zilizo ngangari ukiwa na microscope yake utazimia kwa jinsi zinavyochakachuliwa.

    Ndoa imepoteza maana halisi imebaki ni kutimiza nguzo au sakrament tu na kulea watoto

    Ni ndoa chache sana zenye amani na upendo pia zikiwa na adabu na uadilifu na hii inatokana na mwingiliano wa dini,makabila,makazi,mawasiliano na shughuli za kila siku.

    ushiriki wa sherehe mbalimbali na unywaji vileo pia umeongeza gap ktk ndoa( kitchen party na kibao kata sijui)


    Ugumu wa maisha na muda mwingi wa kuhangaikia kipato unamega tunu kubwa katika ndoa hivyo kufikia watu kuchokana mapema
     
  5. Elli

    Elli JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Hakuna ndoa kuna ndoano, tatizo zile za fasta fasta zile, yaani umekutana naye kwenye daladala, basi, mkutano au kikao unataka utangaze ndoa, hapana hiyo kitu hiyo, chukua muda kufahamiana kwanza as friends na sio kutangaziana nia fasta fasta, ooh mimi nataka tuoane, subiriuliza kwa wengine, ila sio kila mtu ni wa kuuliza, then chuja mawzo yao kwa hekima na busara, sio ana elimu nzuri na kazi nzuri huyu ni wa kabila langu na dini yangu, utaishia kupeleka pesa kwenye NGO ya Mpwa wangu huyu.

    Take time, involve others, especially wakubwa zako, usiangalie figa tu, there is a lot to be known, je hana maambukizo na wewe je uko salama....aaah hili ni somo refu, nikumbushe tuanzishe thread yake; sisi tulikaa ten years kabla ya ndoa, sasa usielize zaidi ya hapo ila pia simaanishi kuwa uniige
     
  6. V

    Vumbi Senior Member

    #6
    Jan 25, 2011
    Joined: Nov 7, 2010
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    Tatizo vijani wengi wa kike na wa kiume wanaoingia kwenye ndoa wanawaza kitu kiomoja tu kwamaba ndani ya ndoa kuna raha na mafanikio ya hali ya juu bila kujiuliza hiyo furaha na mafanilio mtayapataje. Furaha na mafaniko ya ndoa ni maamuzi ya wanandoa wenyewe hayaji yenyewe yanaletwa kwa jitihada za hali ya juu kati ya wanandoa kwa kila mmoja kutimiza wajibu wake kwa manufaa ya wote pamoja na kuvumiliana endapo mmoja atakuwa amepotoka. Ndoa ni jukumu zito linalohitaji uwajibikaji wa hali ya juu, vijana wengi wametumia muda mwingi mashuleni kabla ya kuingia kwenye ndoa kwahiyo hawana uzoefu wa mikikimikki ya maisha ya kawaida wanadhani maisha ya ndoa ni sawa maisha ya u-bachelor amabayo unajifanyia mabo unavyotaka. Ndoa ni taasisi ngumu ambayo mnaotaka kuingia lazima mjue malengo yenu ni nini, mtayatekeleza kivipi na ikishindikana mtafanya nini. Ndoa siyo tendo la kujamiiyana kwani hili tendo ni sehemu ndogo sana ya ndoa, sehemu kubwa ya ndoa ni majukumu ya kawaida kabisa ambayo hayana uhusiano wowote na kujamiiyana hivyo haya masuala mingene lazima myajadili kwa kina kabla ya kuingia kwenye ndoa vinginevyo haya mambo ni rahisi sana kuvyunja ndoa na ndio vyanzo vingi vya migogoro ya ndoa.
     
  7. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Ndoa ndiyo zinakufa taratibu. Katika nchi nyingi zinazoweka takwimu za ndoa idadi ya ndoa zinazofanywa kila mwaka imekuwa ikipungua na itaendelea kupungua kwa sababu wake na waume wengi sasa hivi wanadai ndoa zimepitwa na wakati na mara nyingi zimekuwa hazidumu kama ile miaka ya nyuma kwa sababu mbali mbali ikiwemo uaminifu, labda hii kitu inaitwa open marriage ndiyo itashamiri lakini sidhani kama katika nchi zetu za kiafrika itakubalika
     
  8. Ndachuwa

    Ndachuwa JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Vikao vya usuluhishi bar, tena jioni :shock:

    Usuluhishi unatakiwa ufanyike nyumbani siyo lazima kwa wenye mgogoro na iwe asubuhi yaani kati saa 2 mpaka saa 6 kabda vichwa havijadhiriwa na aina yeyote ya kilevi
     
  9. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 25, 2011
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    nin tena?
    ndoa enh?
    aya
     
  10. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Rose vipi? Bado unakula mlo wa usiku na familia? aya!
     
  11. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Mwanajamvi mwenzangu mimi nahisi matatizo ya ndoa huanzia kwenye maandalizi ya ndoa zenyewe... Vijana wanakuwa wamependana vizuri kwa jinsi walivo na wamelidhika kwa uwezo wao, ndoa wazee wanataka kuonesha wana uwezo kiasi gani, hivi ina maana gani mtu mwenye kipato kidogo cha chini kumfanyia harusi ya gharama si bora kama wazazi wana hela wawape watoto za kuanzia maisha..... Tutakapofika pale kila mtu atakapokuwa na uweza kujiamini na kuishi kwa kadiri ya uwezo wake ndoa zitadumu, sababu tatizo kubwa linalopelekea kuachana ni tamaa na instability ya kipato katika familia changa!! Watu wasipojitambua vikao vya usuluhishi vitakuwa vingi sana!!
     
  12. 22nd

    22nd JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 25, 2011
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    wanaume ndio wachakachuaji wakubwa wandoa, sijui kwanini hamuwezi kutulia na wake zenu. ofcourse nikijua una kimada, hata kama ndio tumefunga ndoa jana,lazima nikumwage
     
  13. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Kimsingi tatizo kubwa la kwenye ndoa ni namna wanandoa wenyewe wanavyoamua ku-value ndoa zao

    How do you put it? is it something of high value and priority or what?
    Katika kutaka kujifunza kwangu kidogo, katika mtazamo wa kidini hasa upande wa Ukristo, ndoa ni kitu chenye value ya pekee na mtu mmoja aliwahi kusema "It is the first institution that God has made". Yaani kabla ya institutions nyiongine zote hii ilikuwa ni ya kwanza na hakika inastahili kupewa kipaumbele

    Kwa mfano, wengi leo wanaoa sio kwa sababu wamejua umuhimu wa ndoa na wamejiandaa kuzilinda ndoa zao kwa gharama yoyote, bali wengi watakuambia wamechoka kufua nguo, wamechoka kudeki n.k na wasichana wataamua tu kuingia kwenye ndoa angalau nao wapate heshima kuwa wameolewa lakini kuijua ile maana halisi ya ndoa na kuamua kuingia kwenye ndoa kwa kujua maana yake hakumo kabisa

    Kimsingi ninachoweza ku-posit hapa ni kuwa kwa sasa wengi hatuoni thamani ya ndoa na ndoa zitaendelea kuvunjika mpaka siku wanandoa wameamua kukaa chini upya na kutafuta thamani ya ndoa zao na kuiweka kwenye matendo

    Tunachopaswa kuwasadia wale ambao hawajaoa ni kuona thamani ya ndoa.....bila hivi tutasuluhisha tu ndoa huku tukishuhudia zinazovunjika kuwa nyingi kuliko zinazofungwa
     
  14. M

    Matarese JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 25, 2011
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    mh tatizo wabongo kila mtu anataka kuoa au kuolewa, ndoa zimepitwa na wakati jamani lazima sasa mkubali, ishini tu mkichoka kila mtu anaangalia ustaarabu wake basi.
     
  15. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Mkuu Mzuanda, matatizo yako kotekote kwa wanaume na wanawake. Na ushahidi wa hili ni hizi DNA test ambazo zinaonyesha kwamba waliotia mimba ni wengine na siyo wale waliomo ndani ya ndoa.
     
  16. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Mmhhh!!! kazi ipo....sio ajabu kesho kutwa utatuletea kadi za mchango wa harusi
     
  17. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Ndoa zitakuwepo.
    Hiki ni kipindi cha mpito tu. Naombeni mvumilie shetani yupo kazini kwa sasa.
     
  18. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Maadili na culture hairuhusu lakini kama kila mtu angekuwa anakaa kivyake na mnapeana space marriages could have lasted twice as much..., siku hizi watu wako so independent....
     
  19. tama

    tama JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 25, 2011
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    Nadhani very soon na sisi hapa nchini kutakuwa na ndoa za mikataba.Sababu matatizo ya ndoa kila kukicha unasikia jipya huko.
     
  20. Nailyne

    Nailyne JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 26, 2011
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    sasa wewe unataka watu wavumulie mauza uza kwa sababu waliweka ahadi kanisani??wakati wanaaapa pale kanisani waliapa mke mmoja na mume mmoja hadi kifo haya vipi baada ya mwaka tu wa ndoa mwenzio ameshakauwa na vijidada kama 3 vya nje na ushahidi unao,na hilo nalo aliapa kulivumilia hadi kifo kiwatenganishe.., watatenganishwa na ukimwi ohhhhh binafsi ingekuwa hamna ukimwi walahi nakwambia ningeruhusu mwanaume wangu awe nao hata sita akiweza, but mhhh aka 'do' huko kavu kavu tena aje kwangu kavu kavu enheeee Mungu niepushie,nikijua tuu sina hiyana mtoto wa kike tuagane tu kila mtu ashike njia yake tutakutana panapo majaaliwa
     
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