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Uko kwenye ndoa zaidi ya miaka 5?naomba ushauri.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by TMK DAR, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. T

    TMK DAR Member

    #1
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Jul 27, 2011
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    Salaam wakuu,
    Hii ndoa ina miaka 7,watoto 3.
    Tatizo la kibinadamu-kama walivyo baadhi ya binadamu wengine,bwana akapata mpenzi,akazaa nae.
    Akawa akijitahidi kutimiza mapenzi sehemu zote 2 na matumizi nyumbani, lakini baada ya kujulikana siri , mke wa ndoa akazua vita kali na akaamua kuingia kanisa la wokovu.
    Mapenzi yakaporomoka kwa mke wa ndoa.Mama wa ndoa muda mwingi akaanza kuuweka kwenye hilo kanisa na uhusiano na familia ya mme na yake umepungua zaidi ya asilimia 70.
    Mme halali nje ya nyumba yake. Lakini mapenzi anafanya kote.Wake wote wana pesa za kujitosha.
    Shida ni moja tu,mama wa ndoa hana muda wa kushughulikia watoto, wala nyumba yake na wala hataki hawa watoto wake wajuane na mtoto wa bi mdogo.
    Katika kukosa amani katika nyumba yao,mama wa ndoa akaanza kutembea na ndugu wa karibu na mume na siku walipokuwa na tafrani akamwambia mumewe kuwa ana revenge.
    kwa sababu hii nauliza kiukweli tu,kama mume anahitaji kuishi humu duniani afanyeje mkewe wa ndoa akitaka penzi?atembee nae kwa condom au wakapime kila mara akimtaka au amuache-divorce au separation maana yeye anajijua kuwa ana makosa na anakubali, lakini adhabu yake isiwe kuikubali revenge na ategemee kifo cha ukimwi.?
    Asante.
     
  2. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 17, 2012
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    mmmh hapa nitatoa ushauri kesho ngoja na mie niangalie ya nyumbani kwangu....
     
  3. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Ssssssssssssssssssss
     
  4. trachomatis

    trachomatis JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Kwa kuwa zinaa imeingia,na maelewano hakuna,bora watengane.. Waende kwenye vyombo husika,watengane...
     
  5. k

    kabye JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Cha muimu nibola wote wakae chini wazungumuze ili swala(wanandoa pee for first time). But ikishindikana waite wazee wenye busara wayazungumze hayo maswala for 2nd chance. third if the required resolution is/are not reached/attain basi nendeni kwa wachungaji/padri n.k.

    wadau kwenu...
     
  6. u

    uttoh2002 JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Kaka Pole kwanza, na hii ni issue, you are such a gentleman to accept kuwa wewe ni chanzo, na kwa kweli wewe ni chanzo cha matatizo yote haya, anyway it is too late na si mda wa kukulaumu.

    But what I want to tell you is that, huyo mke Mkubwa ni wa kumuacha, pamoja na kwamba kosa lilianza kwako, huyu Mama alikuwa bado ana nafasi ya kurekebisha na kuitunza amani ya familia yake.

    Too bad amechoka na hana interest tena na ndoa, si mlaumu, pengine alikuwa anakuamini sana na hakuweza kufikiri waweza kuwa msanii kiasi hicho.

    Jibu ni kwamba, mteme na wala usiwe na uhusiano naye tena wa mapenzi, mpe support zote kasoro hilo, haifai kulala naye tena based on those facts, HUO utakuwa ni uchafu.

    POLE KAKA.


     
  7. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Ngoma draw...kwanini jamaa inamkosesha raha, si yeye ndio alianza kuitembeza nje.
     
  8. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 17, 2012
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    mwanaume umebomoa ndoa yako.......bado una nafasi ya kuijenga upya......

    Na kama unataka kuijenga upya acha njiazako mbovu, kufanya mapenzi huku na huku.... Unadhani mkeo ana roho ya chuma? Mwisho ndo hivyo anatembea na ndugu zako....

    Kaa chini jitulize uokoe ndoa yako. Muombe radhi mkeo, na itoke rohoni..... Muanze upya....... Usidhani ni rahisi mkeo kumkubali mtoto wa nje, (kumbuka hata mkeo angekwambia mtoto niliyejifungua juzi sio wako lazima ungeumia, jaribu kuvaa viatu vyake)

    acha kufanya mapenzi na huyo hawara wako,vunja uhusiano wa kimapenzi nae, mpe muda mkeo aweze kusamehe na kumuaccept mtoto uliyemzaa kitaa, na hili litafanikiwa kama utamuacha huyo mwanamke. Ukajicommit kwa mkeo, maana mkeo hana interest za kuhudumia nyumba yake kwa sababu anajua humheshimu, anajua unagawa penzi lake, anajua unazaa hovyo huko nje, anajua unamweka kwenye hatari ya kumuambukiza magonjwa ya zinaa(maana mpaka unamtungisha mimba ina maana unagonga peku peku)

    mwisho kwenye ndoa usimtendee mwenza wako vile usivyopenda kutendewa, akichoka na kurevenge ndo matatizo yanapoanza.

    Jishushe unusuru ndoa yako.....
     
  9. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Men bwana! So you are victim here!
    Hujagundua kuwa umekosa, ila mkosaji ni mkeo. Magonjwa unaona atakuletea mkeo, huyo SH wako unaassume katulia.

    Be man enough; na chagua unayetaka kuishi na nani mwingine muache huru. U can't eat ur cake and still have it. Who do u think u r by the way. NB, don't be too selfish that usiangalie welfare ya watoto uliowaleta duniani!
     
  10. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 17, 2012
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    @Badili Tabia
    Msomeshe mwanaume mwenzenu ili Abadili Tabia!
     
  11. Blaki Womani

    Blaki Womani JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Unaona mkewe ataleta gonjwa je hiyo nyumba ndogo. Huyo bwana ana makosa Kosa limetokea akae na mkewe wasuluishe
     
  12. cartura

    cartura JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 17, 2012
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    tubu makosa yako, muombe radhi mkeo, BADILI TABIA then start a fresh page in your marital life...
     
  13. a

    assuredly4 JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Mwanaume kakosea sana anatakiwa, avunje uhusiano wake na hawara kwan hata yy anaweza kumletea magonjwa mkewe, atubu dhambi zake kwa toba ya kweli na kuokolewa, atende matendo yatakayompa imani mkewe kuwa amebadilika na anamjali, kwa kuwa wote mmetoka nje ya ndoa msameheane ingawa fedheha yake haifutiki fikiria katembea na dogo lako anayekusalimia shikamoo, dogo anajua maumbile ya ndan ya mkeo,mkubaliane kwenda kupima afya na muwe tayari kukubali matokeo na kuishi maisha mapya, muache tabia za kukomoana haitawasaidia ktk maisha yenu, Mungu awasaidie
     
  14. Emmani

    Emmani JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Siku zote tunasema ndoa ni takatifu! sasa mme ameitia najisi hii ndoa, hakuna mwingine wa kulaumiwa hapa isipokuwa mwanaume aliyeinajisi hii ndoa. Hapa sasa yahitajika toba ya kweli kwa hawa wanandoa!
     
  15. Me370

    Me370 JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Bi mkubwa naye atapewa mimba nje na kuzaa nje ya ndoa. Revenge is sweet
     
  16. Lukolo

    Lukolo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Hata mimi nilikuwa najiuliza hilo, maana yeye ametembea nje ya ndoa tena bila kinga hadi akazaa na mtoto, wala hakufikiria kwamba anaweza peleka gonjwa kwa mkewe. Sasa leo mkewe anataka kufanya the same, jamaa anahofia gonjwa, gonjwa gani ambalo linapatikana pale tu mkeo atakapotoka nje ya ndoa na si pale wewe unapotoka nje ya ndoa. Hapo bwana mpigie magoti, shika miguu yake lia sana, muombe msamaha.

    Caution: Kwa tabia za wanawake, atakubali msamaha wako, lakini na yeye lazima akachovywe hata kama ni kwa kondom, ilimradi tu akidhi haja yake ya kukukomoa. Omba Mungu asiamue kukuumiza kwa kutembea nje ya ndoa waziwazi hadi na wewe ujue.
     
  17. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 17, 2012
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    Hapo mbona hakuna ngoma draw. Kila mtu amebeba furushi lake kwa gharama ya watoto wasio na hatia.
     
  18. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #18
    Apr 17, 2012
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    Kwa mtazamo wangu.... Ndoa nyingi saana zinaporomoka kwa tatizo kama hili..... Ushindani; Itapotokea tu katika ndoa wote wawili mwashindana kwa kila kitu kwa vitu vya msingi na visivo vya Msingi hamuwezi kudumu.... Ni ngumu sana. Inauma mumeo kuzaa nje na hatimae kua na nyumba ndogo. Ila jamani inabidi tuelewe ndoa is beyond that. Sio Trust pekee ndio hu-define ndoa, Sio Mapenzi peke yake hu-define ndoa, Sio Kuwajibika peke yake hu-define ndoa.... Ndoa sio lele mama.... Huwezi ukaoana na mtu ukategemea maisha yatakua siku zote mteremko... HAIWEZEKANI.

    Cha kuzingatia ni kujua kua Ndoa SIO Ndoa kama sio wewe na mwenza wako..... Hadi iweze kua ndoa ni lazima mpendane mfurahi, Mkwazane na mfaulu kusuluhisha, Mtereze na msameheane... mpitie vikwazo viingi na mvishinde! na mengine meeengi. Itapotokea tu Ukajiona wewe upo sooo speacial to the extent kama vile wewe ni Mungu na hustahili kukosewa wala kwamba uko too unique huwezi wala hutarajii kua ukosewe na Mpenzi/mwenza wako... Ndo hapo inapokua tatizo; sababu unakua na roho ya kutomuelewa kabisa mwenza wako, kutotaka tafakari tatizo liliotokea na madhara ya maamuzi wachukua, kutotaka angalia picha from without (as an outsider), kutojiangalia nafasi yako katika tatizo na wala kutojiweka katika nafasi ya mkosaji..... Na hapo kunakua hakuna ndoa tena. Mnabaki mnadimba dimba tu....

    IMO... Wote wana makosa... Ingawa mwanaume ndie alieanza.... Mwanamke kayamalizia kwa kuvunja ndoa yake. Ni mara nyingi huwa nagusia mwanamke ana nafasi kubwa sana kwa ndoa yake kua ya Amani, kudumu ama kua Imara. Ni kazi kubwa.... Inauma saana; BUT in most cases worth it.... Thou I should say kuna mambo mengine ya Wanaume hayavumiliki na yanauma mno.... Enwyas I hope they work it out....
     
  19. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 18, 2012
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    Hivi wokovu wa siku hizi ndo upoje? Maana naona mama kaingia kanisa la wokovu ati! Na wokovu ukamsaidia sijui!??
     
  20. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 18, 2012
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    Huu ni ushahidi usiopingika kwamba wanaume ni very weak linapokua suala la ngono!!!

    Yeye katembea nje hadi kuzaa na kuona ni sawa; ila wife kaguswa tu ndipo anakumbuka magonjwa ya zinaa!!!

    Babu DC!!
     
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