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Ukitaka kutaliki au kutalikiwa....fanya haya...........

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Rutashubanyuma, Dec 20, 2010.

  1. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 20, 2010
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    The safest and fastest way to kill your marriage











    [​IMG]
    Posted Sunday, December 12 2010 at 17:22
    In Summary

    • We must remember that, as much as marriage is a relationship that brings two independent and different individuals together, there are some spoken and unspoken rules to be followed and un-stated expectations that each spouse expects to be fulfilled



    How could I not see it coming?” asked one desperate housewife, directing the question to me and my wife. “The writing was on the wall... it was just a matter of time!”



    Well, she was not alone in a dilemma. Many others have asked these questions. Many more will do the same. But the truth is, we entertain “poisonous” actions in our marriages which later turn against us and kill our love life. We may or may not see this coming, but when the poison strikes, it deals us a hard blow — at times destroying those in the way.




    But, why is it that so many couples do not pay attention to the obvious symptoms of a marriage headed for the rocks? Why do many married people willingly guide their relationships into the intensive care unit?




    Some of the answers follow below. It is important that you review them before lack of trust, absence, abuse, a breakdown in communication, or a feeling of neglect creeps into your home.

    Ladies and gentlemen, this is the fastest way to destroy your marriage.




    1 Ignore the facts: Ignorance is a deadly poison to interpersonal relationships. No one wants to feel ignored, for this beast hits at the core of their being; their self-importance undermined.




    Such people soon begin to feel that they are unimportant and of no value to the relationship. When a person feels that their contribution is not needed or considered, they have two choices: to force their entry into the relationship, or keep quiet and play the “so-you-think-I’m-a-fool” game.




    Any relationship must run on certain expectations and commitments, agreed upon by both spouses. Such commitments may surround issues like birthdays, anniversaries, children’s school activity days (here we are also talking about our response to the spoken and unspoken principles that drive the relationship: keeping promises, learning to appreciate each other, and selfless service).

    If I promise to love you, I will treat you with respect and embrace mutual submission. I will make a point to spend time with you, and I will take you out on our anniversary.



    However, one spouse may choose to wilfully ignore the feelings of the other person on these issues, or make no effort to learn what concerns them. As a result, one or both spouses develop a habit of consistently giving unfulfilled promises, or just ignoring the fact that these expectations mean something to the other person.




    Tear the union apart


    Understanding your partner and what drives them should be the fight of partners in a marriage. Being on different paths in marriage does nothing but tear the union apart. The principle of healthy marriages says that two are better than one, and that they have a great return for their labour if they keep at it together. However, when we ignore our partners, we are literally killing the potential the other person could bring into the marriage.

    Spending time together as a couple helps to build “couple potential” and cement unity. When one partner ignores the other and does not spend time with him/her, one eats into the emotional bank of the marriage, depleting the connection centres that give life to the relationship. The result is a feeling of abandonment and loneliness, a lack of respect to the values held by the family, and the habit of making demands.




    When these symptoms begin to manifest, they affect the way we treat each other. And when we ignore the irritability, the prolonged and unexplained absences, the secrets and the general lack of fulfilment, we foster the climate of a dying marriage.

    If you sense any of these symptoms, don’t just brush them off. Confront them by speaking the truth, in love, to each other concerning your feelings and observations. Remember that it is the little foxes that spoil the vines.




    Ignorance manifested


    For Mike and Njeri, the effects of being too busy, chasing after career, the mood swings that resulted from house chores, and children’s sickness were all ignored. This was manifested through denial and shifting of blame. With time, this affected their communication, and, soon, their intimacy.




    Because they could not face each other on these things, time together was hard to come by since this was no longer a priority. Their situation deteriorated into a lack of drive and general tiredness. What they could not see was the mounting pressure that was now eating into their quality family time.




    The truth of the matter is that two can only walk together and enjoy harmony in their relationship if they are agreed on some agenda. We must remember that, as much as marriage is a relationship that brings two independent and diverse individuals together, there are some spoken and unspoken facts and expectations that each spouse expects to be fulfilled.




    What do they expect?


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  2. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 20, 2010
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    Article ndefu saaaaaaaaaaana!

    Nilitegemea imekaa kama Amri Kumi
    1.
    2.
    3.

    Sasa hapa mpaka usome shuhuda za watu?
     
  3. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 20, 2010
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    Hee, we..mbona umeweka picha ya dada Gaijin na mavitabu yake...umemwomba ruhusa kweli?

    Yes, IGNORING can safely kill any relationship...but within here(JF) iNFIDELITY is the fastest killer of marriages!
     
  4. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

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    Acha uvivu wa kusoma .....burudika na riwaya hiyo na mengi utayaibua mwenyewe.......usipende sana kulishwa kila siku....................jilishe mwenyewe.................................
     
  5. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 20, 2010
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    be acha uvivu bana hebu soma
     
  6. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 20, 2010
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    non sense........
     
  7. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 20, 2010
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    BOld RED: You Pinned it!!
     
  8. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 20, 2010
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    Wish you all the best in your endeavours...........................
     
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