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Uhalisi wa ndoa.....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, May 18, 2011.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Jana nlianzisha thread kuuliza wale ambao bado hawajoa/olewa kama wangependa kufanya hivyo mbeleni na kama ni ndio au sio kwanini??!
    Majibu niliyopata yalikua yanatofautiana kwanzia waonataka kuwa na watu wa kushea nao maisha....mpaka wanaotaka kupendeza tu siku ya harusi na wa wanaotaka security!!

    Nikajikuta najiuliza kwa wale ambao wapo kwenye ndoa je nini kilichowashawishi na je walipata yote waliyotarajia na kutamani kuyapata
    kwenye ndoa???!

    Kwahiyo naomba niwaulize kwa faida ya wale wote tuliopo nje...
    ...Je wewe ulitaka/kubali kuoa/olewa kwasababu gani??!
    ...Baada ya kuingia mambo yalikua kama ulivyotarajia!?
    ...Kama mambo yalikua tofauti na matarajio yako je ni kwa uzuri au kwa ubaya???!
    ...Umewahi kujuatua au kushukuru Mungu kumchagua uliyemchagua???!
    ...Ungepata nafasi ya kurudi miaka kadhaa nyuma mpaka ulipokua unaamua kufungwa pingu za maisha ukiwa inajua kila kitakachotokea mbeleni ungefanya uamuzi tofauti na uliofanya???

    Please tupeni experince tujifunze kabla hatujaingia huko na matarajio kibao alafu tushindwe kuvumilia hali halisi!
     
  2. Likasu

    Likasu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 18, 2011
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    hapo kwenye red ningefanya uamuzi tofauti.
     
  3. I

    Ikunda JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: Jul 12, 2010
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    hhahahahhahahhaha imenibidi kwanza nicheke.

    1 Mie niliolewa kwa sababu nilimpenda/tulipendana,
    2 Na huku ndani hakika inakuwa ni ngumu kwa kile nilichotarajia kukipata nipata 100%
    3 Mara nyingi namshukuru Mungu kwa kunipa mume huyu, japokuwa mara chache nasema laiti ningejua, au Mwenyezi Mungu angekuwa anaonyesha kesho itakuaje, (sababu kila mtu anamapungufu yake) na kukwaruzana kupo
     
  4. I

    Ikunda JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 18, 2011
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    hahahahaha ni wengi wangefanya ivyo
     
  5. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #5
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Lizzy dear thanks for the thread... Interesting...lol... Umewaza nini???? Enways....

    Je wewe ulitaka/kubali kuoa/olewa kwasababu gani??!

    Lizzy nampenda shemejio vibaya mno na namshukuru Mungu ndoa
    haijafanya Mapenzi yapungue bali yawe stronger... Nafikiri inachangia
    pia na the fact kua we both appreciate each other and compromise
    in cases were neccessary... For instance sipendi football (najua nitazomewa hapa..lol)
    but whenever anipi attention sababu ya mpira i don't care...

    Baada ya kuingia mambo yalikua kama ulivyotarajia!?
    I think nimeijibu above... It's wonderful, ndo mana Partner nimekazana
    kupiga debe so that soon and very soon upate wako...lol

    Kama mambo yalikua tofauti na matarajio yako je ni kwa uzuri au kwa ubaya???!
    I think kwa uzuri zaidi... I thot itakua kazi saana, kumbe jamaa kanizimia kama
    nilivyomzimia.. the rest vinafuata..

    Umewahi kujuatua au kushukuru Mungu kumchagua uliyemchagua???!

    Partner HELL Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

    Ungepata nafasi ya kurudi miaka kadhaa nyuma mpaka ulipokua unaamua kufungwa
    pingu za maisha ukiwa inajua kila kitakachotokea mbeleni ungefanya uamuzi tofauti na uliofanya???

    Kabla ya ndoa ningemsisitiza kua i want not less than 4/5 children... ili asing'ang'anie namba
    ndogo ya watoto.
     
  6. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 18, 2011
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    mmmmh.mengine usitake kuyajua mapema Lizzy,
    unaweza kushindwa kutoa maamuzi,
    uzuri wa ngoma ni uingie ucheze bibie, sio ubaki mtazamaji!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Kwanini???Maelezo kidogo basi...`
     
  8. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 18, 2011
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    angalau kidogo,
    inaonyesha kuna kaukweli fulani hapa...............
     
  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 18, 2011
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    Partenerrrrr....nataka kumchunguza kuku kabla sijamla!!Kwa kukusoma naona ukimpata wako ambae nae wewe ndo wake inakua raha mustarehe hata kama vijitatizo vya hapa na pale havikosekani!!

    I‘m happy for you partner...nakuombea miaka kumi ijayo uwe na mawazo kama haya haya kuhusu shem wangu au hata mazuri zaidi!!
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 18, 2011
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    Ni vizuri kujiandaa....
    Embu tupe expiriensi‘!
     
  11. Futota

    Futota JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: Dec 11, 2010
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    Nikajikuta najiuliza kwa wale ambao wapo kwenye ndoa je nini kilichowashawishi na je walipata yote waliyotarajia na kutamani kuyapata
    kwenye ndoa???!

    Kwahiyo naomba niwaulize kwa faida ya wale wote tuliopo nje...
    ...Je wewe ulitaka/kubali kuoa/olewa kwasababu gani??!
    ...Baada ya kuingia mambo yalikua kama ulivyotarajia!?
    ...Kama mambo yalikua tofauti na matarajio yako je ni kwa uzuri au kwa ubaya???!
    ...Umewahi kujuatua au kushukuru Mungu kumchagua uliyemchagua???!
    ...Ungepata nafasi ya kurudi miaka kadhaa nyuma mpaka ulipokua unaamua kufungwa pingu za maisha ukiwa inajua kila kitakachotokea mbeleni ungefanya uamuzi tofauti na uliofanya???

    nikijibu baadhi ya maswali hapo juu:
    ......kuoa/kuolewa ili kama itatokea basi watoto wawe wa halali (not bastards), watakaoendeleza ukoo (genetic transmission)
    ......so far so good, milima na mabonde, lakini tunapata muafaka baina yetu
    .....baadhi mambo yako poa, baadhi mambo huenda kinyume cha matarajio ila mara zote yameweza kurekebishika, kwa kiujumla mambo yetu poa sasa ni miaka 21
    .....sisi sote wawili tunamshukuru mwenyezi mungu kila siku, that we are compatible!
    ......uamuzi wangu usingebadilika hata kwa kidogo, kwani niliyemchagua amenifaa, na anaendelea kuongezeka ubora kila siku

    Hivyo, Lizzy usiogope kuolewa/kuoa ni kuzuri
    kazi ipo kwenye kuchagua!
     
  12. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 18, 2011
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    Sorry to say this,kwa wanawake sijui lakini asilimia kubwa ya wanaume tunapokuwa vijiweni kwetu tunapiga ulabu mazungumzo huwa ni yale yale......utasikia 'yaani aisee itokee mi na waif tuachane wallah sioi tena' na wakati mwingine kwenye group kama kuna member ambaye kamtaliki mkewe na hajaoa tena utasikia..'heri yako bwana maana sisi lol'.....au utasikia wanamwambia .....'aisee usioe tena...'.Nisameheni bure kinamama lakini hapa nimeeleza uzoefu wangu kwenye mazungumzo ya kina baba,AshaD najua nimekukwaza because you sound happy in your marriage,lakini mimi naeleza ninachosikiaga.
     
  13. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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    Lizzy,

    Nina wasiwasi na unakoelekea sasa!

    Ndoa zoote uwa inatokea kama ajali - Hakuna watu waliofunga ndoa baada ya kufanya tathimini kama unazofanya - No, Never.... Ndoa haina KPI wala Bench-Marking, Not at all ... Normally, Ndoa ni mwanzo mpya - Ni kama unavyozaliwa - Hakuna aliyetuma maombi kwa Baba na Mama yake kuwa atungwe mimba na kuja dunia - It is simply natural... Sijui kama ulishawahi kufikiri kuwa "Ni heri usingezaliwa.."
     
  14. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 18, 2011
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    Kwahiyo wanajutia??!!Aiseee mi sitaki kua na mtu alafu ajutie!!!
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 18, 2011
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    BE hichi ni kizazi cha kutafakari bwana...hata kupata watoto watu wanapanga mwaka mzima wakati zamani ni kuzaa tu!!Yote hiyo ni kwasababu ndoa za siku hizi nyingi ni ili mradi tu.....na mimi sitakua kua kwenye kundi la wanaoolewa ili mradi!!
     
  16. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #16
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Hujanikwaza Bishanga... Mi naelewa how baadhi ya minds za wanaume zilivyo, hasa mume wangu na najua akiwa kijiweni atasema kama hao wakaka wengine... We ni mwanaume na naamini unaelewa hakuna anae brag kua oo mke wangu anafaa sana au vipi.. Mimi kua na furaha na amani katika ndoa yangu haimanishi nayeye ni hivyo hivyo - ukute kujitahidi kwangu kote anaona sawa tu na ndo kwanza ana mwanamke nje... But sababu hajanionesha kitu chochote cha kunifanya niwe na wasi; saizi am content ...

    Na Bishanga note kua most ya hao wakaka wakijiweni wakipata matatizo ya ndoa wako makini kutatua matatizo kuepusha kuvunjika kwa ndoa...
     
  17. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 18, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    nimekupata mtu mzima,
    ukubwa dawa!!!!!!!
     
  18. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 18, 2011
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    ndivyo inavyoonyesha..
     
  19. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #19
    May 18, 2011
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    hapo kwenye red unanikumbusha story ya jamaa ambao wakiwa bar kila mmoja anajitutumua kuwa yeye undava undava tu mwanamke hambabaishi nyumbani kumbe weeeee akiingia tu 'mama Kayai nisamehe nimechelewa,sio mimi ,ni Bishanga kanichelewesha na porojo zakeeeee,maneno kibao huku amepiga magoti!
     
  20. samora10

    samora10 JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 18, 2011
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    am learning something.. keep talkin guys
     
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