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Tunajidanganya kwa kuamini kuwa ndoa ni tendo!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Mar 17, 2009.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Mar 17, 2009
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Baadhi yetu tumelelewa na kukutana na mazingira yaliyotufundisha hivyo kwa hiyo ndivyo tunavyoamini. Tunaamini kwamba tunapooa au kuolewa tunafanya hivyo ili kushiriki tendo la ndoa kama dhana ya kwanza. Ni kitu gani kinachotokea basi pale ambapo haturidhiki na kuridhishwa kiunyumba na wake au waume zetu? Ni kwamba huwa tunadhani au kuamini kwamba hapo ndoa haina maana na hivyo huwajengea chuki wenzetu na pengine kutoka nje ya ndoa zetu tukidhani tutapata nafuu.

    Hebu tujiulize je ni kweli dhana ya ndoa ni kufanya mapenzi? Jibu ni siyo kweli hata kidogo. Hebu tujiulize tena baada ya kuoana na kuishi kwenye ndoa kwa muda fulani wake au waume zetu wakapata matatizo ya kimaradhi au ajali au mengine ambayo yatawafanya wasiweze kabisa kushiriki jambo hili tutafanyaje? Huenda jibu kwa wale wanaoamini kwamba ndoa maana yake ni kufanya mapenzi watasema kwamba watakwenda nje au kwa wanaume wataoa wake wengine. Huu ni ujinga mkubwa mno kwani tunaweza kufanya hivyo ikiwa ni wenzetu waliopata matatizo lakini kama ni sisi tutaona inavyoumiza.

    Tendo la ndoa katika ndoa ni muhimu na kwa kiasi cha kutosha husaidia pia kuimarisha uhusiano. Lakini pale kunapokuwa na tatizo kwenye suala hilo ndipo hapo upendo unapopimwa kama ni wa dhati, bandia, au upendo wa kimradi. Kama upendo wetu ni wa dhati tutajitahidi kuangalia mazingira ambayo huenda yatawafanya hao wenzetu wawe kama walivyo. Tunapojadili kwa upendo udhaifu fulani ni wazi tutawapa wengine nguvu ya kujikagua na kuzidisha upendo kwetu.

    Lakini tunapokuwa wakali na kulaumu au kuchukia na kulaani tutawafanya wenzetu wajione wanyonge na pia tutawafanya au kuwapa nafasi ya kuhalalisha kwamba huenda sisi tumetawaliwa sana na tamaa ya kimwili kuliko uwezo wa kufikiri kiasi kwamba linapotokea tatizo tunakuwa vichaa na hivyo uwezekano wa kutoka nje au kuvuruga ndoa ni mkubwa. tujifunze kufahamu na kukubali ukweli kwamba ndoa bora na imara hazifanywi hivyo na tendo la ndoa, bali hufanywa hivyo na wanandoa kusaidia kutatua kila tatizo linalotokea.

    Ni vizuri tukawa wazi kusema matatizo tunayohisi kwa wenzetu badala ya kuhisi tu na kudhani watayaona. Tukifanya hivyo tutakuwa tumeshindwa jukumu letu la kupenda kwani tutakuwa tumejitazama wenyewe zaidi..
     
  2. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 17, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
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    watu wengi huingia kwenye ndoa bila kujua uzito wake kwa kufikiria kuwa ndoa ni licence for tendo hilo na si jukumu.Ndiyo maana tamaduni au hata imani fulani za dini hutoa ruhusa kutalikiana pale ambapo starehe hiyo haimridhishi mtu.Hata hivyo ni ukweli pia kuwa tendo hilo nalo ni sehemu muhimu katika ndoa na ndiyo maana sheria na hata imani za dini huona kuwa ndoa haijatimia kama hilo tendo halikufanyika ( consumation of marriage).
    Tendo ni moja ya ingredients kama ambavyo chakula fulani hakiwezi kuwa chenyewe kama kiungo fulani muhimu kitakosekana.Omellete cannot be an omellete if there are no eggs..na pia you cannot make an omellete without breaking the eggs! Ndoa na yaendanayo ni jitihada za ziada na si lelemama.
     
  3. N

    Narumba Member

    #3
    Mar 18, 2009
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    wala hatujidanganyi, ila ukweli wenyewe ni kwamba tendo la ndoa ndio huimarisha ndoa.
     
  4. N

    Ng'wanamalundi Member

    #4
    Mar 18, 2009
    Joined: Feb 4, 2008
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    WRONG. A principle condition for a marriage to be deemed to have taken place is CONSUMMATION of the marriage (i.e. the partners have to have sexual intercourse). Otherwise the "marriage" is nul and void. It is as good as not having taken place at all although a competent authority (be it religious, civil or traditional) may have declared the couple as having been married. Where a "marriage" was not consummated it is terminated by ANNULMENT(not divorce).
     
  5. Obama wa Bongo

    Obama wa Bongo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 11, 2013
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    napitaaaa
     
  6. The End..

    The End.. JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 11, 2013
    Joined: Aug 13, 2013
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    ok! mleta mada hebu jikumbushe ni kitu gani alichomiss mtu mpaka anaamua aoe ukikipata ndo jibu la maana ya ndoa!!!
     
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