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Tumsaidieni huyu dada amfanyaje huyu mtoto

Discussion in 'Habari na Hoja mchanganyiko' started by M-bongotz, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. M-bongotz

    M-bongotz JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 21, 2010
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    amfanyeje huyu mtoto?

    "mimi ninaishi na mtoto wa wifi yangu. Ana miaka 13 sasa. Bahati mbaya sana mama yake alifariki akahamia kwa mama mkubwa nae akafariki akarudi kwa bibi mi nikaona niishi nae. Mimi sijajaliwa mtoto. Huyu ni mtoto wa kiume na nimeishi nae toka yuko na miaka kama saba hivi. Ilibidi nimrudishe madarasa kutokana kuwa alikuwa nyuma sana kielimu kwasababu alikuwa kijijini. Kwa sasa hivi yuko grade 6 na anaendlea vizuri sana academically. Huwa muda mwingi tuko kazini na yeye shuleni so kama watoto wengi wa mjini tunapata muda mfupi kuwa nae labda wakati wa weekend. Problem yangu ni kuwa, huyu mtoto nashindwa nimuweke kwenye category gani kwasababu ni mtoto ambae kwanza haongei sana huwezi ukamuelewa anataka nini, hapendi kufanya chochote anachotaka yeye ndicho kiwe na he makes his point by crying. Mwanzo tulikuwa tunambembeleza tunamuacha na tulimchukulia kuwa he had a difficult life, lakini siku zinavyokwenda tunaona kuwa anaharibika kwasababu bila mtoto kukemewa kidogo (of course reasonably) au kuwa responsible atapata taabu huko mbele. Tatizo jingine ni muongo na wakija wa kwao huko anajilegeza mpaka unasijisikia vibaya. Mjomba wake (mume wangu) huwa sometimes anampiga mi naogopa kwasababu anaweza kumuumiza ila ni kweli anakera sana. Wafanyakazi wakimwita wakimuuliza kitu anaweza asijibu akaondoka tu au akatoa jibu moja tu likakuacha mdomo wazi…najua anaelekea kwenye age ya utineja but sasa mimi huo ukimya wake unanitisha huwezi kujudge from expression hafurahii kitu, hachangamki yaani kwa kifupi hana emotion. Ukimgombeza unaona anakunja na kukunjua ngumi hajibu, je huyu mtoto akikua zaidi si anaweza kuumiza, especially kwasababu he is brilliant and good with gadgets he can grow to be something terrible….nielekezeni jamani nifanyeje?"
     
  2. Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Oxlade-Chamberlain JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 21, 2010
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    poleni sana. hapa mambo mawili matatu kwanza ya kuchunguza kabla hamja muhukumu huyu mtoto.lakwanza shuleni ana marafiki? jaribu kuulizia shuleni kwake najuamda unawabana jaribu kutafuta nafasi hili mjue tabia yake hikoje akiwa shuleni kwanza.akifika shuleni huwa mchangamfu? je ana marafiki shuleni? mtafuteni mwalimu wake wa darasa atawaambia na ikiwezekana kama ana rafiki zake muwaulize pia.


    anajishughulisha na michezo manake umri wake lazima atapenda kucheza vitu kama hivyo.na hapo mtaani kwenu ana marafiki? kama shuleni ni mchangamfu na ucheza na wenzake kama kawaida hapo sasa ndio mtaweza kujua kama tatizo liko nyumbani hapo sana sana kwenye uhuru wa kucheza.katika maelezo yako nadhani huyu mtoto akitoka shule ni ndani tu na hii labda ndio kina mkera zaidi na kujiona mpweke.
     
  3. Waberoya

    Waberoya JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 21, 2010
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    Maisha aliyopitia kwa mama yake mkubwa na bibi pia yanaweza yamemuathiri.Mathalan kama aliteswa au kufanyiwa vitu vibaya, sasa hivi anaishi kwa kutomwamini mtu yeyote, anajidefence kwa kila kitu.

    Ukiona kule waliishi naye vizuri kumbuka labda alipata saikolojiko problema baada ya mama yake kufariki, haujaeleza kama mtoto huyu aliishawahi kuishi na baba, yaani wazazi wawili, nayo ina athari zake.

    Je hao waliomlea hapo zamani walilalamika lolote, kwa mfano aliishi kwa muda mfupi kwa bibi yake huko je alikuwaje?

    Tatizo hapa si kuwa hana emotion au mkimya sana, some people are like that. Tatizo ni hizo tabia za kubadilika na uongo, hii hatari.

    Mtumie mtu wa tatu/wa nje amshauri kwa upendo. Ongeza upendo, upendo ushinda tabia zote mbaya, wakati mwingine mtafutie marafiki waje hapo nyumbani, waweke katika same tests, kama kuwatuma, kuongea nao, aone rafiki zake wanaishi na kurespond vipi.

    Kwa mfano akija na rafiki zake wawili anza kuongea na story fulani interesting au movies n.k.wakiondoka rafiki zake mwite jaribu kuendeleza nae story tena , uone atareact vipi,.....akishaanza kuongea ni rahisi kujua tatizo liko wapi.

    Human have secrets and strange behaviour ambazo kwangu mimi naona upendo huwa unazima hayo yote.
     
  4. drphone

    drphone JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 21, 2010
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    takuwa anaitaji ushauri wa mwanasaikolojia kutokana na yalompata
     
  5. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 21, 2010
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    jaribuni kuwatafuta washauri wa masuala ya kisaikolojia kwa watoto wadogo i hope atasaidika sana huyo mtoto na atakuwa kama watoto wengine. Mungu atambadilisha pia kwa kumpeleka kwenye maombi
     
  6. Maria Roza

    Maria Roza JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 21, 2010
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    Pole sana, mie naona ni umri huo ndo unamfanya awe hivyo maana nina mtoto wa ndugu yangu ana miaka 12 tabia yake hazipishani na huyo ila jaribu kuwa nae karibu na uongee nae vizuri itasaidia sana
     
  7. Ibrah

    Ibrah JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 21, 2010
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    JAribu kumtafutia shule ya Bweni iliyo na sifa nzuri kimaadili na kimalezi, inaweza kumbadilisha na kujitambua kuwa anatkiwa kubadilika.
     
  8. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 22, 2010
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    Ni usahuri mzuri sana jaribu kuongea naye kwa upendo atabadilika bado ni mapema sana
     
  9. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 22, 2010
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    Huyo mtoto - kwa sababu ya historia yake - amezika hasira, uchungu na hisia zake zote, na jinsi alivyo amekosa mtu wa "kumtapisha" hiyo nyongo iliyo ndani mwake na inayoendelea kumtafuna. Msimlaumu. Mnahitaji kufanya kazi ya ziada "kumzibua" ili aweze kutoa hiyo presha iliyo ndani na moyoni mwake. Jaribuni kwa kila hali kumfanya aongee, ajieleze. Mwonesheni upendo wa karibu zaidi, hasa mfanyeni centre of attention. kwqni hiyo mtoto anaonekana alipata upendo mdogo sana kutoka kwa mama yake kwa vile alifariki mapema. Na wale waliomlea hawakujaza pengo la mama mzazi. Kumbe ana hasira iliyojizika ya kukosa upendo wa mama, na pia kumpoteza mama yake. Kumbe anahitaji healing from within. Si kosa lake. Wala si kiburi. Kaathirika na historia yake ya nyuma.
     
  10. m

    madule Senior Member

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    Jan 22, 2010
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    mH!, UPENDO TUUUUU!
     
  11. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 22, 2010
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    pale chuo cha jamii kuna mtaalamu wa saikolojia ambaye pia ni mwalimu. jina limenitoka. kamtafute. pia hapa UDSM kuna mtaalam anaitwa mauki. watafute hao wataweza kupenya kwenye hisia za huyo mtoto
     
  12. Andrew Nyerere

    Andrew Nyerere Verified User

    #12
    Jan 24, 2010
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    Labda anatumia madawa ya kulevya.
     
  13. M

    Mama Joe JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 24, 2010
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    Mtu yeyote anahitaji kuona anapendwa hasa pale anapostahili. Kama mtoto na wazazi, mke na mume nk. Inapotokea anamkosa huyu mtu au watu anajiona amekataliwa, anapata hisia za kutojiamini, kutoamini na kuchukia watu. Kwanini? Kwasababu aliishawapenda, waamin na kutumaini ktk watu na sasa wamemuacha haijalishi ni kifo au vipi. Kwaiyo pamoja na mahitaji muhimu mlipaswa kumpa councelling be it spiritual or what. Try to raise his selfesteem by praising him for even small achievement he has, this will boast his ego and will open up. Don't treat him as an ordinary child but also don't let him be a spoiled child. Try to be close but not pushy and lets know whats going on. All the best.
     
  14. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 24, 2010
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    Ana shida katika saikolojia yake!

    Ana chuki fulani moyoni kwake, maana wakija watu wa kwao anawachangamkia na kuongea sana nao, you see?

    Kama wapo ndugu wengine jaribuni kumpeleka huko muone anakuwaje!
    Maana kwa hapo hata'appreciate chochote mtakachomfanyia!
     
  15. RayB

    RayB JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 24, 2010
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    Duh conclusion yako so mchezo! Huyo mtoto ni matatizo tu kisaikolojia kutoka na pre na post life yake. Ingawa watanzania hatuna mazoea au utamaduni wa kuamini matatizo ya kisaikoloja yapo, na hilo linapelekea kutowatafuta na kuwatumia hao wataalamu. Mi naamini ukitumia contacts walizotoa wadau hapo anaweza akasaidika
     
  16. M

    Mende dume Member

    #16
    Jan 24, 2010
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    Wana JF, kweli utandawazi umetutafuna kila kona.

    Unajua walezi pamoja na wazazi siku hizi tumegawana mamlaka na watoto tunao walea. mtoa hoja hofu yake kubwa, ninavyoona ni kuwa kumbana mtoto anahisi ataonekana anamtesa kinamna- which is kibinadamu.

    My take, ni kuwa mtoto ni mtoto maisha yake ya baadaye yanaandaliwa na walezi wake! Umemrudisha nyuma shule, is doing better- GOD bless u. Sasa kaa na mmeo, make rule that will make him positive. Kulia isikutishe, mara moja moja akileta kiburi unamkanya ilimradi isiwe extreme- reasonable ajue is bad.

    For ur info, i did my masters in scandinavia in a coridor tulikuwa mwanadarasa wangu toka west africa, hajawahi kukuaa jikoni hawezi hata kuchemsha yai! wiki 2, anavuta sigara, chai na mkate thats it! akawa anashangaa ninapopika- mbaya ikawa napika vitumoto, vibudu vya ulaya yeye ni ustaadh! so hawezi kusogea. baadaye akajifunza na akajipika for rest of 2 years of shule. AKAAPA ATAHAKIKISHA MWANAWE WA KIUME ANAPIKA so as not to suffer like him.

    Mungu akupe ujasiri, huyo mtoto msaidie na atakufaa baadaye kama sio wewe, basi nduguzo wengine and he will be proud of u.
     
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