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Trust.........................

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanajamiiOne, Jun 25, 2011.

  1. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #1
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    Wapendwa Habari za weekend?

    Najua karibu kila mmoja wetu amewahi kumkosea/kosewa mwandani wake, awe mume/mke, mchumba, boy/galfriend, nyumba ndogo/ATM/MBA wake. Sisi sote tu binadamu na kukosea tumeumbiwa. Vile vile naelewa kuwa makosa yanatofautiana katika mahusiano, but yapo yale ambayo humfanya mwenzi wako akapunguza TRUST yake kwako (But si kosa la kuwafanya muachane).... So unajua kuwa now mwenzangu hanitrust tena.....

    How do we amend this? Unafanyaje fanyaje kumrudisha mwenzako akutrust/amini tena kama mwanzo?
    Mwenzako afanyaje ili umtrust tena kama mwanzo?
     
  2. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Tafuta ulipojikwaa sio ulipoangukia!
     
  3. Mwanakili90

    Mwanakili90 JF-Expert Member

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    kwani kipimo cha uaminifu ni nini?


    Kipimo cha uaminifu ni kuwa muongo{kutokuwa muaminifu}.

    Inamana ukijitaidi kuwa faithfull,kupunguza uwongo na kutodanganya kabisa ndo itakua solution ya kurudisha uaminifu wa mwanzo kwa mwenza wako.
     
  4. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

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    Inakuwa ngumu sana aisee "Trust no One but yourself"
     
  5. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Eiyer........mwe mie akili zangu za mgando ndugu yangu....hapa umeniacha mweupee mpendwa hebu funguka!
     
  6. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Desidii......even your spouse?? huwezi kumwamini? How did you come to be together then?
     
  7. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Kubomoa ni rahisi kuliko kujenga.
    Kuibomoa TRUST ni rahisi sana, kuijenga ni shughuli pevu.
    Kwanza unatakiwa ujue ni wapi hasa ambapo alianza kukosa imani na wewe.
    Mfano, kwenye simu yako kuna mwanaume umem-save kwa jina la kike, say Shosti Saloon
    Awali mpnz/bf wako alijua ni shosti wako kweli, ikiita simu anakuletea au anakwambia uje kupokea.
    Baadae anapata wasiwasi, too many calls!! Anaamua kui-copy namba ya shostito na kwenda kuipiga kwa namba zingine
    Anagundua si shosti, bali ni shoti.
    Then one day anakuuliza (Be Carefully na maswali ya wanaume)
    ::: "Hivi huyo shosti wako uliyem-save "Shosti Saloon ndo yule wa kwenye ile saloon ya Mama Jane?"
    Na wewe bila hata kufikiria, unajibu ::: "Umejuaje my love, ndio huyohuyo. Tuko mabesti balaa. Huwa anapenda niendage kwake"
    Hapo ujue umekwishaaaaa!!

    (....Naendelea . . . . )
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    [​IMG]...Binafsi nachukulia TRUST kama nyufa (cracks!)..."usipoziba ufa utaujenga ukuta!"

    Mapenzi ni sawa na ujenzi. Msingi imara ndiyo inayoisimamisha nyumba imara, ingawa nyufa ndogo ndogo za hapa na pale ni lazima zitatokea. ...na kwenye mapenzi ni hivyo hivyo. Aheri kuya address na mapema mapungufu yanayojitokeza kulikoni kuyaachia 'yaje yajirekebishe yenyewe' mbele ya safari. 'Kukumbushwa' haina maana mwenzio hakuamini tena...

    Life has to go on, japo the past & present shapes the future lakini kuna haja kukubali ukweli kwamba hakuna mkamilifu duniani. Mwenzio anapokosea anastahili kusikilizwa, kueleweka na kusamehewa.... so long as hatafanya jambo ambalo naye hatopendwa kufanyiwa. Hapa kwa herufi kubwa nazungumzia 'Cheating!'...mwenzenu kwa umri wangu huu nadhani sitaweza kustahmili tena machungu yake -Mtanizika!

    Mwj1, siku zote naamini na ninausimamia usemi "unapoaminiwa jiaminishe!" Ukishajiaminisha ushatimiza wajibu wako. Hivyo hivyo nami napaswa kujijengea msingi (Imara) wa kukuamini...that's all I can write baby.
    Uwe na amani.
     
  9. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Ukibahatika kujua kwamba ulimdanganya kwa hilo, anzia hapo hapo kurekebisha mambo.
    Sijui wanawake wangapi wana ujasiri wa kukiri "Nilim-save mwanaume kwa jina la kike" kwa wapenzi wao? Ni ngumu sana!!!

    Lakin pamoja na yote, inategemea uliichezea TRUST ya mpenzi wako kwako mara ngapi. If ni several times, sometimes inakuwa ni impossible kuirudisha. If ni mara ya kwanza, unaweza. Kwa mfano niliosemea hapo juu, unaweza kufanya hivi.

    - Kwanza punguza unnecessary outings.
    - Jiweke karibu zaidi na mwenza wako muda mrefu uwezavyo
    - Tumia simu yako bila woga wowote mbele yake, unaweza kumruhusu apokee hata baadhi ya simu zako (sio zote)
    - Onyesha upendo zaidi kwa vitendo mara dufu kuliko maneno.
    - Mshirikishe kwenye mambo yako mengi kadri uwezavyo, mfano kutumia email yako, kusoma msg zako, kutumia JF account yako (kama zipo)
    - Mfanyie mambo ambayo hukuwahi kumfanyia kabla (Ingawa hii inaweza kuleta picha mbaya kwa wengine)
    - Epuka kufanya mambo ya kuleta picha za usaliti
     
  10. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Mbu kwa physical examples, sikuwezi
     
  11. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

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    :happy:

    MJ1 ukweli ni kuwa hakuna kitu kigumu kukijenga kama "TRUST" na hakuna kitu fragile kama "TRUST"....Ni ngumu sana kukirestore....

    Hata hivyo kwa mtazamo wangu, TRUST nzuri ni ile isiyojengwa kutoke nje (na mtu aliekukosea) bali wewe mwenyewe uliekosewa kujenga tena kum-TRUST Mwenzako.....

    How, hii inatokana na kule kuelewa kuwa hakuna aliemkamilifu na mwanadamu yeyetoe ameumbiwa hali ya kukosea. Kwa hiyo leo kama kakosea yeye kesho huenda nikakosea mimi.....So unaanza na kusamehe kwa kujua kuna kukosea and then you build your trust back again.......HATARI ZAIDI NI PALE UTAKAPOWEKA MASHARTI MIA NANE NA NUSU KIDOGO

    Sasa hapa kosa ni kwa yule ambae amekukosea lakini bado ukamwamini tena kama atavunja tena uaminifu....sasa haitakuwa tu ni kuvunja uaminifu bali "DONDA NDUGU" la kuvunja uaminifu ambalo ni baya sana kuliko ile ya awali.....MUHIMU if you are trusted again, hakikisha unatunza ile TRUST kwa kuwa it is more fragile than anything ...HOLD IT WITH GREAT CARE
     
  12. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    hahhh!...hapo kwenye wekundu hapana bana. Kunaweza zusha maswali mengi kuliko majibu.

    Ila kuna hilo ulilozungumzia kama kosa la mara ya kwanza compared na previous experiences.
    Hapa ndipo tunaposisitizwa kuacha excess baggages huko tulikotoka.
     
  13. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    I dont even trust myself....
    How ca i trust you?????????????????
     
  14. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ha ha,...nini tena bana....mwenzako na uchungu hapa Mwj1 analalamika.
     
  15. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Something somewhere is wrong in yourself . . . :der:
     
  16. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

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    MJ1 asante kwa hii useful thread,ubarikiwe.

    Kwangu mimi nadhani one of the best and very fast steps to take ili ni regain trust ni kuwa mkweli daima.
    Kwa kufanya hivyo kwanza ntakuwa naji-set free 'the truth sets u free', hakuna kitu kibaya kama guilty consious
    Pili najijengea kuaminika kwa mwenzi wangu,Tatu ntafuta doubts zote alizonazo juu yangu
    Nafikiri kwa kufanya hivyo kidogo kidogo taratiibu ntaanza kuirudisha ile trust iliyopotea.
    Ni ngumu sana kumtust mtu alikubetray so patience pia inatakiwa sana
     
  17. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    Trust takes time kuijenga....., Na inategemea na mtu wengine ni rahisi kujenga imani wengine hata kama hujawapa sababu kwao they never trust anyone..., Sasa kama umetenda kosa cha kufanya ni kumuonyesha uliyemkosea kwamba umejuta.., na hukufanya hayo kwa makusudi na you need to promise that it will never happen again (baada ya hapo only time will tell kama umekeep promises....)

    And it wont hurt kama ulicheat, ukimuonesha mwenzako jinsi unavyowakataa hao watu wanaokusumbua, kama ulikuwa unarudi usiku sana kila siku anza kurudi mapema, kama ulikuwa hutoki na mwenza wako anza kutembea nae mara kwa mara... Hapa she/he can believe you have turned into a new leaf...
     
  18. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Mkuu
    Kama mtu hajiamini kutazusha maswali mengi kama usemavyo.
    Labda kama una something to hide FOREVER . . . .
     
  19. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

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    Mhhhh,u set thinking!
    unafikiri analalamika kwamba haaminiwi tena ua kwamba hawezi kuamini tena?
     
  20. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    aaahhh, huwezi jua bana. Nahisi kuna kitu kime trigger memory yake...
    Uzuri wake, kaanzisha topik ambayo inatusaidia hata sie wengine kujikosoa
    pale tunapokosea.

    Binafsi naamini ni bora niki addresss jambo linaloni kwaza 'kuliko kufa na tai yangu shingoni'
    as if kila kitu kipo sawa, kumbe....!
     
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