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Troubled Husband

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by X-PASTER, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #1
    Jan 27, 2009
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
    Messages: 11,651
    Likes Received: 75
    Trophy Points: 145
    Dear Mrs. John William,

    Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. John William has been causing quite a commotion in our store.

    We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.

    We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

    Seven of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused.

    All complaints against Mr. John William have been compiled and are listed below.


    Mr. George Cashman

    President and CEO

    Tesco. Complaint Department
    ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----


    MEMO


    Ref: Mr. John William


    Complaints - 15 Things Mr. John William has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:
    ***************************

    1. June 13:

    Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking
    *********

    2. July 3:

    Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
    *********

    3: July 7:

    Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
    *********

    4. July 21:

    Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in homewares... .. And watched what happened.
    *********

    5. August 2:

    Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
    *********

    6. September 10:

    Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    *********

    7. September 14:

    Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
    *********

    8. September 22:

    When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    *********

    9. October 5:

    Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
    *********

    10. November 11:

    While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
    *********

    11. December 5:

    Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
    *********

    12. December 9:

    In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
    *********

    13. December 17:

    Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
    *********

    14. December 21:

    When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams

    "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    *********
    (And; last, but not least!)

    15. December 23:

    Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
    *********
     
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