Too good for me???

Kwa uzoefu wangu mimi, ukihisi he is too good to be yours/true ujue kuna walakini hapo, wengi wanakuwa wanafiki na badae unakuja kujua ukweli wake inakuwa too late. embu soma hii kwanza dear, halafu uone kama kuna lolote litakalo kusaidia;

When a date acts uninterested in anything we have to say it's usually a clear indication they are not that into us. If the reverse occurs, they pay too much attention, latch on to every word we say, usually means there's a problem.

Overly attentive individuals are often attention starved. Whether it's been simple bad luck in prior relationships, or something more sinister such as childhood neglect, the overly attentive are usually very needy emotionally and attach themselves to you very quickly.


Fast attachment
Relationships need to develop and evolve over time. Finding yourself on a first, second or even third date with someone who keeps using the word 'we' or starts making plans for the two of you, is on a fast attachment cycle. Even if the plans are minor like expecting to go for coffee or a walk or expecting you to give up prior appointments and commitments within a short span of time, means you have a fast attacher, and a big potential problem on your hand.


These types of people often don't take no well for an answer. Desperation is never attractive, and the more you pull away, the harder they try to attach. Often these types seem so perfect in other respects, but do yourself a favor and run!


They understand you too well
We all want someone who understands us, but someone who appears to instantly connect and 'get us', is often no more than a chameleon. Desperate to be loved themselves, chameleon's mirror our own personalities while masking their own. The biggest mistake we can make is thinking they are instant soul mates, when usually we could in fact be anyone who fulfills their warped sense of who we should and could be for a relationship.


It's all about you
Even worse than the overly attentive date, is the date who reveals little or no information about themselves, but disguises it all as your-the-one-so-what-does-my-past-matter. Women are particularly vulnerable to this type of man, and mistakenly think that they must be too good to be true because they appreciate us so much so fast. Often referred to in psychological circles as "Pedestaling", these types of men don't want to reveal past relationship mistakes as they usually involve something major.


Anything or anyone that seems to good to be true typically is. No one is, or should try and be perfect. Encountering someone on a date who seems a little too perfect is usually a good sign that we should run hard and fast in the other direction!
 
.........my hubby mpole, mtulivu yaani ni mtu asiyependa makuuu, jinsi tabia yangu ilivyokuwa nilijiona kabisa sistahili kuwa naye. Maana mimi nilikuwa mapepe sana.......muda mwingine nilikuwa nakosea lakini najifanya najua, basi ataongea kwa upole hadi najisikia vibaya. Ila siku hizi nimebadilika sana na mie nimekuwa mpole kiaina.

Hivyo mie nadhani hata kama wewe Michelle mkali lakini ukipata mume mpole nawe itafikia kipindi utakuwa mpole tu.

wow, kumbe siko mwenyewe....asante kwa kunipa moyo....nami nitaanza taratibu labda siku moja nitaweza kama wewe...natumai Mungu atanipa mume mpole na asiye na makuu.....AMEN!
 
Habari zenu wana MMU?

Mwenzenu nina changamoto nahitaji kujua kama nanyi pia mna/mmekutana nalo katika maisha ya urafiki na uhusiano na je mlitatua vipi? ili na mimi niweze kujiona sawa!!!

Hivi imewahi kukutokea umekutana na mtu akakupenda na wewe umempenda ila unaona kama hustahili kuwa nae? yaani kwa jinsi alivyo,unajisikia vibaya kuwa nae? kutokana na tabia,historia,mwenendo,mistakes ambazo umewahi kufanya,yaani unaona,i don't deserve this guy/girl....he is just too good for me!!!

Mimi kweli nikipata mwanaume mpole na mnyenyekevu napata shida sana,manake unaweza chukia ukamjibu vibaya yeye yuko tu anakuangalia na baadaye anakuweka chini kwa upole anakueleza tatizo......waga kinaniuma sana,to the extent nafikiri maybe i deserve mtu mkali na mkorofi kidogo.....au mwingine,anakusamehe ukikosea na anakuelewa mpaka unaona,this is too good to be true...na wale ambao unamwambia makosa ambayo unafikiri yatamfanya akukimbie (kama kuwa na mtoto) lakini bado tu yeye anakupenda.....!!!

Nitafurahi kusikia mawazo yenu!


Michelle,

Mbona hapo umezungumza hivo?

mtoto ni zawadi kutoka kwa Mungu....kwa nini unaona kuwa ni makosa kuwa naye hadi kutolea mfano? Seriously nimekwazika sikutegemea hili kutoka kwako ila ndo uhuru wa maoni...
 
Thank you....i agree siwezi jua mtu alivyokuwa huko nyuma,ila tu kuna vitu vinatokea hata mkiwa pamoja,kama kukasirika na kuwa mkali mpaka basi,halafu later unaanza kujisikia vibaya....i feel gud and am gud MTM,ni ile tu kutaka kuwa kama huyo nayemuona perfect!!!

Partner you are who you are and thats the end of it.You can‘t and you shouldn‘t even try to change your personality so you could be like him or anyone else for that matter.Besides how do you know he doesn‘t like you because of your whole personality(ukali included)???

Nwy kama unataka kujua how he feels abou you being mkali just ask him.Kiutani utani tu atakwambia....mi nimeshaambiwa na watu kadhaa kwamba hawajali maana walikua wanastahili kusikia nilichosema na kwa namna niliyosema.
 
Kwa uzoefu wangu mimi, ukihisi he is too good to be yours/true ujue kuna walakini hapo, wengi wanakuwa wanafiki na badae unakuja kujua ukweli wake inakuwa too late. embu soma hii kwanza dear, halafu uone kama kuna lolote litakalo kusaidia;

When a date acts uninterested in anything we have to say it's usually a clear indication they are not that into us. If the reverse occurs, they pay too much attention, latch on to every word we say, usually means there's a problem.

Overly attentive individuals are often attention starved. Whether it's been simple bad luck in prior relationships, or something more sinister such as childhood neglect, the overly attentive are usually very needy emotionally and attach themselves to you very quickly.


Fast attachment
Relationships need to develop and evolve over time. Finding yourself on a first, second or even third date with someone who keeps using the word 'we' or starts making plans for the two of you, is on a fast attachment cycle. Even if the plans are minor like expecting to go for coffee or a walk or expecting you to give up prior appointments and commitments within a short span of time, means you have a fast attacher, and a big potential problem on your hand.


These types of people often don't take no well for an answer. Desperation is never attractive, and the more you pull away, the harder they try to attach. Often these types seem so perfect in other respects, but do yourself a favor and run!


They understand you too well
We all want someone who understands us, but someone who appears to instantly connect and 'get us', is often no more than a chameleon. Desperate to be loved themselves, chameleon's mirror our own personalities while masking their own. The biggest mistake we can make is thinking they are instant soul mates, when usually we could in fact be anyone who fulfills their warped sense of who we should and could be for a relationship.


It's all about you
Even worse than the overly attentive date, is the date who reveals little or no information about themselves, but disguises it all as your-the-one-so-what-does-my-past-matter. Women are particularly vulnerable to this type of man, and mistakenly think that they must be too good to be true because they appreciate us so much so fast. Often referred to in psychological circles as "Pedestaling", these types of men don't want to reveal past relationship mistakes as they usually involve something major.


Anything or anyone that seems to good to be true typically is. No one is, or should try and be perfect. Encountering someone on a date who seems a little too perfect is usually a good sign that we should run hard and fast in the other direction!

Well said dear, i appreciate that....i agree,a little too perfect is usuallly not a good sign...but what is a little too perfect??? coz kama huyu,yeye pia hukosea na ana mapungufu yake,ishu tu ni mimi kuyalinganisha na yale yangu na kuona kuwa yangu ni makubwa zaidi au nampa shida!!
 
binafsi hakuna mwanamke ambae ni too good foe me

but wanawake wanyonge siwapendi

napenda wale ambao wanafanya mambo kwa utashi wao
 
Michelle,

Mbona hapo umezungumza hivo?

mtoto ni zawadi kutoka kwa Mungu....kwa nini unaona kuwa ni makosa kuwa naye hadi kutolea mfano? Seriously nimekwazika sikutegemea hili kutoka kwako ila ndo uhuru wa maoni...

Kaizer,hujanielewa....nafahamu kabisa mtoto ni zawadi kutoka kwa Mungu,ila naomba nikuhakikishie wapo wanaume pindi wanapoambiwa nina mtoto/watoto,uhusiano ndo umeikia mwisho,utasikia siwezi kulea mtoto wa mwanamme mwenzangu,siwezi kuoa mwanamke mwenye mtoto,familia yangu itanionaje sijui nini???? nilichomaanisha ni kuwa vitu ambavyo ni sihu kubwa kwa baadhi ya wanaume,unakutana na mtu ambaye hajali kabisa,na si tatizo kwake.....nisamehe kama nimeku-dissapoint!!!
 
Kaizer,hujanielewa....nafahamu kabisa mtoto ni zawadi kutoka kwa Mungu,ila naomba nikuhakikishie wapo wanaume pindi wanapoambiwa nina mtoto/watoto,uhusiano ndo umeikia mwisho,utasikia siwezi kulea mtoto wa mwanamme mwenzangu,siwezi kuoa mwanamke mwenye mtoto,familia yangu itanionaje sijui nini???? nilichomaanisha ni kuwa vitu ambavyo ni sihu kubwa kwa baadhi ya wanaume,unakutana na mtu ambaye hajali kabisa,na si tatizo kwake.....nisamehe kama nimeku-dissapoint!!!

huitaji kuomba msamaha
its very true
wanawake wengi wakizaa kabla
wanapata tabu kuolewa
 
Well said dear, i appreciate that....i agree,a little too perfect is usuallly not a good sign...but what is a little too perfect??? coz kama huyu,yeye pia hukosea na ana mapungufu yake,ishu tu ni mimi kuyalinganisha na yale yangu na kuona kuwa yangu ni makubwa zaidi au nampa shida!!
katika hayo makosa madogo afanyayo bado unamwona perfect? basi jaribu kubadilika ili mwendane sababu kwenye mahusiano huwa kuna kujishusha ili u cop na mwenzako, hamwezi kuwa sawa sababu hamjalelewa sehemu moja mmekutana ukubwani, pia learn to apreciate what you have and be proud of it mydia
 
Partner you are who you are and thats the end of it.You can‘t and you shouldn‘t even try to change your personality so you could be like him or anyone else for that matter.Besides how do you know he doesn‘t like you because of your whole personality(ukali included)???

Nwy kama unataka kujua how he feels abou you being mkali just ask him.Kiutani utani tu atakwambia....mi nimeshaambiwa na watu kadhaa kwamba hawajali maana walikua wanastahili kusikia nilichosema na kwa namna niliyosema.

Well said dearest...nafikiri napendwa nilivyo,kwakuwa hata pale napokosea hakilali,naambiwa na yanaisha....ila tu nikiambiwa ndo nakosa raha....nitauliza kiutani utani nione......l.o.l....give me more tricks....l.o.l
 
binafsi hakuna mwanamke ambae ni too good foe me

but wanawake wanyonge siwapendi

napenda wale ambao wanafanya mambo kwa utashi wao

kama ambae akijisikia kukupiga unapokosea basi anakupiga??

mwanamke myonge ndo kama yupi mkuu??
 
kama ambae akijisikia kukupiga unapokosea basi anakupiga??

mwanamke myonge ndo kama yupi mkuu??

akijisikia kunipiga ajaribu aone
na mimi nna utashi wangu pia lol

wanyonge ni wale ambao wana behave kama maids hivi kwa waume zao
wanapokea order tu hata kama hawapendi
 
Inawezekana kabisa kakupendea ukali wako na the way ur tough kwa sababu anajua mpaka ulipofika umekutana na mafunzo mengi,na sa nyingine wanaume wengine wanahitaji tough women na wanajijua so dont wory n one thing i believe the right person is the one that loves you just we way u a,unakumbuka ule wimbo wa dudu baya nakupenda 2 vile ulivyo nakupenda 2 ha ha ha,change wea necessary n wea he says so otherwise ur just perfect 4 hm,
 
akijisikia kunipiga ajaribu aone
na mimi nna utashi wangu pia lol

wanyonge ni wale ambao wana behave kama maids hivi kwa waume zao
wanapokea order tu hata kama hawapendi

hapo sasa??? sijui kwanini natamanigi ningeweza kuwa kama maid hivi ila ndo hata siwezi,naonaga kama inaongeza mapenzi...l.o.l
 
am i in love??? maybe dearest!!!

Umenisaidia sana dearest,its like umenielzea nilivyo na ninavyojisikia,atleast kuna binadamu kama mimi....manake naona kila siku hii kitu inanisumbua, na inanifanya niji controll sana mpaka naboreka....at least naweza elewa hii huruma ni ya kawaida kabisa,he he he....kubembeleza ndo sijui? siku unabembeleza niite dearest nipate somo.....l.o.l:A S-rose:


Baby its normal ne who you are but just be reasonably.......... sio unarauka rauka tu bila sababu.
Na hayo mawazo ya May be I dont deserve him/her kwa sababu ya your past history, mistakes sijui nini yafute life with him/her starts from the day you two met................... You deserve him/her ndo mana mko pamoja so handle him/her very carefully. Forget your past.........at least that is my principle.
 
Kama nimekuelewa, personally, sijakumbana na hili lakini naamini lipo. Wapo watu ambao wanaamini kabisa kuwa partners wao deserver better than what they are getting from them. Kuna sababu nyingi zinazoweza kusababisha hili kutokea. Umezitaja baadhi ya sababu. Pia nafikiri depression or lack of self esteem vinasababisha sana kutokea kwa hali hii. Wakati huo unakuta mwenzie hamind kabisa, but the other party still thinks their partner deserve someone better than him/her. Mara nyingi nafikiri hii inatokana na lack of self esteem inayosababishwa na sababu mbalimbali. Halafu hili tatizo halitokea tuu kwenye mahusiano ya kimapenzi. Linatatokea pia kwenye mahusiano ya kawaida na hata hata makazini ambapo unakuta mfanyakazi anaamini kuwa s/he is not good enough.

Wataalamu wanasema kuwa kitendo cha kuamini partner wako deserve better than what is getting from you ni moja ya symptoms za depression. Wanasema depression ni root cause ya mtu kufikiria that s/he is not good enough. Mara nyingi watu wenye depression wana tabia ya kufikiria kuwa they are not good enough to deserve something that they consider great. Lakini pia kuna watu ambao wako safi tuu lakini kwa sababu za insecurity or complex inferiority wanaona kuwa their partner deserve someone who is better than them.

Having said, wako watu ambao wako fit kabisa and still think that they are not good enough. If you feel like you're not good enough it is absolutely not true. Don't think your not good enough. Just be better. Pia kumbuka normally the opposites attract. Inawezekana labda watu wameishia kuwa mume na mke because they are too different people.
 
he he he he mwanamme hawezi kuni care wa nini sasa? kabaki mwenyewe duniani? for God's sake,hao ni watu walioko desperate,siwezi kuishi kwa kunyanyaswa hata kwa siku moja hata kama nampenda mtu kiasi gani....!

Michelle? mmmhhh we wasema!
 
Wanawake wa NDIO MZEE huwajui dearest?!Yani ye kila kitu owkey..sawa...nimekubali...hata kama ni kitu ambacho anapaswa kukataa/pinga anakubali tu!!

Lala nje....nivue nguo...zaa mtoto wa tano...NDIO MZEE.....sijui wanaume wanajisikiaje kuwa na wanawake kama hawa??? najua wapo wanaopenda na wasiopenda......:grouphug:
 

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