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Tisaidiane: Tatizo la fertility [uwezo wa kuzaa] ni kubwa kwa sasa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by TIMING, Apr 26, 2010.

  1. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Wakuu, nafahamu hili lingeweza kuwekwa kwenye jukwaa la JF dokta... lakini nataka tulijadili kijamii zaidi kuliko ki-tiba!

    nadhani wengi wetu tunakutana kila siku na marafiki au ndugu zetu wenye matatizo ya kupata watoto... hapa naangalia zaidi issue ya kutunga mimba.

    Hali hii ni stressful na mara nyingi huchangia infidelity pamoja na ndoa kuvunjika. pia huongeza msongo kati ya wanandoa na baadhi ya ndugu hutumia hali hii, ku-abuse wanandoa na mara nyingi muathirika ni mwanamke. Binafsi kuna watu wenye matatizo ya uzazi nawajua, lakini inakua vigumu hata kuwauliza kulikoni kwani si kazi yangu kuangalia nani anazaa na nani hazai ndani ya ndoa za watu

    sasa:
    ikiwa wewe una mtu wa namna hiyo ungemsaidia kiushauri bila kumkwaza? nauliza maana naona tuna majukumu ya kusaidiana ila tatizo ni namna ya kuanza
    je ni ipi nafasi yetu kwenye kuwasaidia kiushauri namna ya wao kutatua tatizo? maana wengi wao hutafuta solutions kwa siri sana
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    wabongo wengi tuna tatizo la kuishi kwa kuifurahisha jamii
    kuliko kufurahisha nafsi zetu.........

    infertility haipaswi kuwa chanzo cha wapenzi kugombana
    wala kuachana...........

    mnapaswa kulikubali tatizo na kuanza hatua za kulitatua

    mnaweza ku adopt watoto au kutumia njia nyingine za kisayansi kupata mtoto......

    mimi kama mwanamke nampenda kweli sitaruhusu yeyote amu abuse kwa sababu
    hashiki mimba.......

    ndugu zangu wote wananijua kuwa sipendi kuingiliwa kwenye masuala yangu ya ndani.......

    mtu akileta kidomo domo chake tu,nafukuza mara moja na kupiga marufuku
    kukanyaga kwangu.
     
  3. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    very true boss... lakini sasa tufanyeje kusaidia kiushauri ili wawezu kupata msaada muafaka? unajua mara nyingi watu wa namna hii wanakosa ushauri na kuishia kutafuta suluhisho kwa siri... ladba niende ndani kidogo, kushindwa kupata mtoto inaweza ikawa ni

    • tatizo la kuzaliwa nalo
    • low sperm count kwa wanaume, kutokana na sababu mbalimbali
    • mama kuwa na stress iliyozidi
    • nk.

    sasa kabla ya kuamua ku-adopt au kukubali matokeo tunafanyaje?
     
  4. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 26, 2010
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    Mkuu DeNovo,

    Umegusa suala la msingi sana.

    Hakika hatutakiwi kujiuliza juu ya couples tunazoziona zikiwa hazina watoto, lakini mwaka May 2007 nilikuwa katibu wa Arusi moja nzuri sana, lkn, to everyone's disapointment, hadi leo 2010 hawa watu wako wawili walewale, na ukiwaona na kuwatazama kwa jicho la 3 utajua wana shida kubwa ndani ya mioyo yao.

    Kuna siku mama mtoto wangu aliniambia anataka kuwaface ili waongelee suala hili, na ajue kulikoni(yeye ni mtu wa sekta ya Afya), lakin nilimkataza kwa UWOGA, nikitoa sababu kuwa huenda wasingempa ushirikiano wa kutosha!..Hivyo tumebaki tunawatazama tu.

    Actually, jamii yote iliyoshuhudia harusi ile inawatazama kwa jicho la maswali hawa watu, kiasi wameanza ku'develop hali ya uwoga, ambayo huenda ikazidisha shida yao kisaikolojia.

    Nadhani sasa (baada ya kusoma hii thread) nitampa moyo mama mtoto wangu awakabili hawa watu ili wajaribu kujadili tatizo, nina imani wanaweza kusaidika!
     
  5. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    de novo...............
    Ushauri mzuri utapatikana
    kwa wataalamu mara baada ya kuwa na uhakika tatizo lipo
    wapi.........

    But kama mama ana stress mnapaswa kubadili mazingira........
    Kwenda mbali na mnapoishi hata kwa muda mfupi.......................
     
  6. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 26, 2010
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    De Novo

    Hii ishu ni delicate sana na approach yake inahitaji umakini mkubwa sana. Kule kwetu, mara nyingi ishu kama hii watu wa mwanzo ambao wanaweza kufanya intervention ni wajomba, mashangazi ama wazazi (wa hiyo couple). Hawa niliowataja mara nyingi ni watu wanaoaminika na wanaweza kutunza siri hivyo ni rahisi kwa wanandoa kuwasikiliza. Hata hivyo si mara zote watu hao wanaweza kutoa ushauri mzuri (decent na unaokubalika!) wa nini kifanyike kwa sababu ya ama uelewa mdogo ama tatizo la mfumo dume
    Nadhani cha muhimu kabisa kama unataka kuwa mshauri ni kutengeneza mazingira ambayo hao wanandoa watakuamini na wewe kuwa mwaminifu na kuweza kutunza siri. Wakikuamini ni rahisi sana kuzungumza na ama mmoja wao au wote kwa pamoja tena mara nyingine wao ndio watakuja kwako kwa ushauri.
     
  7. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 26, 2010
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    Nadhani kama ni suala la ushauri kuhuus kupata watoto kijamii, wengi wetu tunaweza kusita pia kutokana na suala zima kwamba ndoa kama taasisi, kuwa na watoto sio kitu cha lazima..ijapokuwa pia kijamii tunategemea ndoa iwe na watoto.

    sasa suala linakuja kwamba je, hao wanandoa ambao ungewapa ushauri wana mtizamo gani wa maisha ya ndoa? unaweza kudhani kuwa wana tatizo kumbe wameshajikubali walivyo na hawahitaji kuwa na mtoto

    tukiweza kujadili kwa kina kama mtoto ni lazima kwenye ndoa hapo tutaweza kuwa na sababu na hamu ya kuwashauri hao ambao ndoa zao zimekaa muda mrefu

    binafsi kuna ndoa moja naifahamu sasa inakaribia mwaka wa kumi lakini hakuna mtoto.....na ninajua wameshahangaika sana tu kumtafuta mtoto lakini bado sijaweza kuthubutu kuwauliza kulikoni...nadhani wasimamizi wa harusi au wazazi wao wameshaliona hilo
     
  8. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    Jingine ambalo nadhani inabidi kuliangalia, pamoja na sababu alizogusia De Novo za kuwa chanzo cha ukosefu wa watoto, je imani zetu za kijadi na kidini zikoje?

    mfano, unaelezeaje hali ambayo mtu (mwanaume) alikuwa na uhusiano na mwanamke wa kwanza, akapata mtoto, mwanaume akamkataa akatafuta mwanamke mwingine, huku nyumna mtoto anazaliwa, anaugua bajati mbaya anakufa...mwanaume hajali wala haendi kuzika...je, ukija kukosa mtoto baadaye (hata kama kwa sababu za kitabibu) watu si watakunyishea kidole? (mfano hai huu)

    jingine, hawa kina dada wanaochezea maisha yao kwa kutoa mimba, hakika machozi yale lazima yamfikie Muumba na mojawapo ya adhabu ni kutokuwa na mahusiano ya kudumu na pia kutoweza kushika mimba tena (mfano hai)

    hili sijui wenzangu mnalionaje...
     
  9. Che Kalizozele

    Che Kalizozele JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 26, 2010
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    Hii issue ni kubwa sana ingawa unaweza usione ni tatizo hasa kama umebarikiwa watoto,inaumiza sana na inasababisha mawazo kwa kiasi kikubwa.Ingawa najua watu wengi watajifanya kusema mtoto si lazima katika ndoa lakini ukweli upo pale pale hasa kwa wanawake.Kwani uwa hawajisikii vizuri kama ameishi katika ndoa muda mrefu bila ya kupata mtoto.Nafikiri si vibaya tukajiripua kwa kuwaface hasa kama ni watu wetu wa karibu,tunaweza kuhisi hawatatoa ushirikiano kumbe nao wanasubiri muwachokonoe.Mie nina sister wangu alikuwa na tatizo hili wakaliweka wazi wakajaribu kijadi ikashindikana,walipokwenda hospitali ikagundulika sister mirija ilikuwa imeziba,wakaizibua na sasa sister analea mtoto wake wa kwanza.Bahati aliyokuwa nayo sister,mumewe alikuwa anatoa ushirikiano wa kutosha,kwani wakati mwingine sie wanaume ukwamisha utafutaji wa njia ya kutatua tatizo kwa kutokutoa ushirikiano wa kutosha kwa kuhisi tatizo liko kwa mwanamke.
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mimi nna ndugu yangu aliwahi kuzaa na mke wake wa kwanza watoto wawili

    baadae akamuacha akaoa mwingine,huyu mwingine wakakaa zaidi ya miaka kumi
    hawapati mtoto.......

    akaomba ushauri kwa ndugu,ndugu wakashauri amuache.akamuacha......

    huyo mwanamke baada ya kuachwa akaolewa na mtu mwingine na akapata mtoto
    ndani ya mwaka mmoja tu.........

    sijui mnaweza kuelezaje habari hii..........
     
  11. P

    PELE JF-Expert Member

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    Ni kweli hili linaweza kuwa ni tatizo la kuzaliwa nalo la Mwanaume au Mwanamke au tatizo lilikuja kutokana maisha waliyoishi hapa duniani na kusababisha mmoja wao awe ama hawezi kushika mimba au kutia mimba. Kwa Watanzania wengi watoto ni muhimu sana katika ndoa maana wanaongeza mapenzi ndani ya ndoa hiyo lakini si sababu ya kusababisha kuachana kama hawataaliwa kupata watoto. Nasikia Waislamu katika hali kama hii na Mwanamke ndiye mwenye matatizo basi Mwanaume huomba ruhusa ili aoe mke wa pili, lakini huu ni mfumo dume maana kama tatizo la kutopata mimba linasababishwa na Mwanaume basi mwanamke hana jinsia nyingine ya kutoka nje ya ndoa ili akajaribu huko.
     
  12. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    kuna wana ndoa nawajua miaka 15 sasa hawajapata mtoto, na hospitali za ndani na nje ya nchi zimewaambia wate wawili wazima wa afya.

    wameamua ku adopt lkn ilikuwa ngumu sana hasa kwa mwanamme. ilizua misukosuko ndani ya ndoa. juu ya hivyo watu wa karibu walishindwa kuwashauri cha kufanya
     
  13. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu i am sailing on the same boat with you... sasa mimi ni very serious kwani wao ni watu wangu sana tu na huu ni mwaka wa kumi! they are loving people lakini sasa naona watu wanakosa amani hata kuwaeleza kwamba wamepata watoto wapya, na kusema ukweli wao hawana kinyongo na mtu ila tayari i am sensing stigmatization kutoka kwa baadhi ya watu. na baadhi ya marafiki/ndugu wenye courage nusu wamekua wananizonga mimi kuulizia kulikoni; sasa hapo ndio nimechanganyikiwa kabisa

    na huo uwoga ulionao ndio ugonjwa wangu mimi na mwenzangu

    we really need help to help our friends
     
  14. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    mkuu hii issue si yangu bali ni ya mtu wa karibu yangu... mimi nina watoto watatu mazee
     
  15. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    thanks a million mkuu... let me try to build trust [ingawa najua wananiamini]; its a very delicate matter but we as friends and family need to stand for helping one another
     
  16. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    mkuu hapo kwenye red ndio issue... hata nimeamua kukata rufaa humu kwasababu naona kama jamaa ameanza kutaka kupana deci nje ya shamba lake
     
  17. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

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    Two years ago kabla sijapata badiliko la conscience, nilikutana na dada mmoja ninayemheshimu sana hadi leo. Lakini wakati huo aliniambia kitu cha ajabu; alikuwa amekaa na mumewe kwa muda wa miaka 4 na walikuwa hawajapata mtoto, na huyo mume alikuwa hatoi ushirikiano wowote kuhusu tatizo hilo, yaani hataki kwenda na mkewe hospitali ili kujua kulikoni. Mke alikuwa amezunguka hospitali kibao (baada ya mumewe kukataa kwenda kupimwa au hata kumsindikiza mkewe) na kote alipewa majibu mazuri sana kuwa hana tatizo lolote. Dada huyo akawa ameamua jambo moja kuwa atatafuta mimba anakojua halafu asikilize mumewe atasemaje. Alijaribu na mimi miezi 5 mfululizo na hatukufanikiwa, sijui na mimi pia sizai au ni kitu gani, lakini mimba haikupatikana. Sijaoa na wala sijawahi kupimwa vipimo vya uzazi. Ndio maana hii mada imenistua inawezekana kweli tatizo la infertility ni kubwa kuliko tunavyofikiria. Hadi ninavyoandika hapa, huyo dada bado yuko na mumewe na inaonekana wana maelewano mazuri, lakini bado hawana mtoto (na sijui kama bado anajaribu na wanaume wengine au alishajikubalia matokeo!)
     
  18. Fab

    Fab JF-Expert Member

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    waiiiii kummega mke wa mwenzio ndio nini??
     
  19. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu, bila kuingia kwenye details za mahusiano ya wewe na mke wa mtu [maana hilo ni sheshe!]... naomba nikupe a few cents kuhusu wasiwasi wa fertility ulionao

    Inawezekana kabisa huyo dada anashindwa kupata mtoto kutokana na hali ya mwili wake hasa anakuwa anxious na stressed... pia kwa upande wako kwa sasa Tanzania tuna qualified fertility specialists kwa both, wanaume na wanawake na kuna daktari mmoja dar sasa hivi clinic yake inakaribia 40% wanaume, hii ni kuonyesha kwamba awareness ya fertility ipo, lakini pia tatizo ni kubwa kuliko tunavyodhani
     
  20. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    The Emotional Effects of Infertility on the Couple Relationship

    [​IMG]
    Men and women are affected by infertility in different ways. Most couples experience the struggle in much the same way. This is related to the traditional ways men and women have been trained to think, feel and act.
    Women are typically seen, by others as well as themselves, as the emotional caretakers or providers of the relationship. Women typically feel responsible not only for everyone's bad feelings, but also for anything bad that happens. When women try to repress feelings, their emotions can become more ominous until they finally feel out of control. Their emotions can become a monster about to swallow them whole.
    Women in infertile couples often protect their husbands from their own pain and feelings of failure by taking much of the responsibility for the treatments upon themselves. When it is suggested that men accompany their wives for appointments, couples get concerned about issues like income loss, use of time, etc. While these concerns are usually relevant and important, they also serve the purpose of protecting husbands from their own responsibility in the conception process and from their own feelings, which could easily be intensified by so much contact with the medical process.
    Men are traditionally seen as the financial providers of the relationship and are responsible for protecting the family from real or imagined dangers. Men usually feel more threatened expressing themselves since they have often been conditioned to repress their emotions. They are trained to be more instructional to take charge, to make decisions and to think without being sidetracked by emotions.
    Males in infertile couples often feel overwhelmed by the intensity of their partner's emotions as well as an inability to access their own. They tend to focus their energy back into their work, a place where they feel they can have more success.
    As a result of taking responsibility for the emotional impact of the infertility, the woman experiences intense feelings, such as pain, anger, fear, etc., which, combined with the messages that her way of dealing with things is in some way dysfunctional or "crazy", causes her to feel an anxious depression. As feelings spill out, she feels out of control and doesn't really know how to ask for what she needs, especially from the husband she is struggling so hard to protect. She may yearn for an emotional connection/interaction at one moment and in the next withdraw emotionally from her husband when she fears she has disappointed him.
    Men find themselves in a position where, regardless of how well they've been trained to solve problems, they are helpless to make this situation better for the woman and, as a result, may give off messages that she is "too" emotional or sensitive, hoping that this will calm her down. The wife hears this as criticism of her coping and care taking skills rather than as an expression of her husband's fears.
    This is the time when couples cling together for dear life, feeling that they've failed in the most basic of all roles: reproduction. Couples are hesitant to admit problems in their marriage, feeling that having difficulty coping would mean that their marriage is also a failure.
    Luckily, there are ways that men and women can help each other balance thinking and feeling as they struggle side by side on their journey toward parenthood. The questions then arise: How do I get what I need from my partner? How can I support for my partner during this difficult time?
    Here are some suggestions to help both partners during the infertility process:

    • Communicate openly with each other.
    • Realize there's no right or wrong way to feel. Getting in touch with your feelings will help you know what you need. Once needs are identified, clearly and specifically tell your partner how to help you.
    • Ask your partner what she/he needs rather than assuming that you can/cannot give it.
    • Recognize the psychological and emotional differences between men and women.
    • See if you can teach each other some of the skills you've learned from your own life experiences as man or woman.
    • Share more in the process of treatment. Share both the burdens and joys of your different perceptions/experiences of infertility. It will help to balance the intensity and bring you closer with a deeper respect for each other.
    SOURCE:www.ivf.com
     
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