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Till you love yourself... Inawezekana?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Boss, Sep 1, 2012.

  1. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Kuna nyimbo moja nilikuwa nasikiliza
    i guess ya NEYO....nikakutana na mstari mmoja unasema..

    'i am gonna love you till you love yourself'...

    Nikawa najiuliza maswali kibao.....

    je tabia za watu kwenye mahusiano inawezekana moja ya sababu
    ni 'they don't love themselves that much?

    na je hii solution ya 'i am gonna love till you love yourself'
    inasaidia?

    how true is this?

    inawezekana?

    unaweza apply hii kwa mtu anae kuudhi na kukukwaza? how?

    mnaonaje?
     
  2. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

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    Sisi wengine ni bhapalapala, yaani hata tupendwe vipi hatupendeki
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Ha hahaa hivi hii category ya 'hapendeki 'nayo
    unaijuaje/
     
  4. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    bora umerudi kuna vitu vilikuwepo humu jamvini siku mbili hizi kha!Nikakumisijee!okeeey back to the track.

    mi naamini ili ujue unapendwa ni lazima uwe unajipenda maana ukijipenda kwanza utajua unataka nini na utajitambua zaidi,unapojitambua ni rahisi kutambua kuwa unapendwa au unachezewa.ukijitambua ni rahisi kufanya anayekupenda kujua unahitaji nini na nini afanye ili kukuwin!ukijipenda ni rahisi kukeep mahusiano since ulichonacho ndicho unakihitaji katika maisha so far so good u will work nails down kufanya hayo mahusiano yadumu,kwani kwa kujipenda nafsi yako hutapenda ikose kile unachokipenda kwa upuuzi puuzi tu!
     
  5. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    interesting.....
    nakubaliana na mtu kujipenda kabla ya kuanzisha mahusiano

    lakini hili la wewe mfano
    unajua kabisa jitu fulani halijopendi na kujitambua
    halafu unaona kwa 'kumpenda na kumpenda' ndo itamsadia kujitambua na kujipenda mwenyewe
    does it work?
     
  6. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    it doesnt!kwa sababu asiyejipenda wala hawezi kutambua kuwa anapendwa!
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Na mimi nilikuwa naona kuwa ni ngumu hii
    lakini naona kuna watu wanaamini hiii sana

    sasa hapa ndo najiuliza
    kama mtu hajitambui solution ni kumpiga chini?
    au ndo 'tulitakiwa kuwafundisha kujitambua na kujipenda'?
    it it all possible.....
     
  8. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    inategemea, kuna muda inaweza fanya kazi na kuna muda haiwezi fanya kazi.

    Inategemea sababu za mtu huyo zilizomfanya asijipende au kujitambua.

    Kuna watu wamekuwa abused kwenye mahusiano, na kuwafanya au wasipende tena au kuwa na 'low self esteem'

    kwa kumpenda kunaweza saidia kurudisha kujiamini kwake.

    It complicated I guess, sio straight kihivyo.

     
  9. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    why shud u sacrifice unajua faida nyingine ya kujipenda ni kujua kaka unayempenda analistahili penzi lako,so ni haraka sana utajiuliza does she/he worth it?wanaojipenda hawaumizi mioyo yao,so aliyejiandaa kujipenda kwanza nd akaingia kwenye mahusiano anademand kupendwa kwa kuonyesha kuwa amependa,na ni haraka sana kujitoa anapojua hapendwi kwani anajiwekea fence kwenye moyo wake.na hii haiji ukubwani The Boss,inajengwa toka utoto!
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi najiuliza mfano wadada wanaopenda 'wazungu'
    nahisi kama kuna masuala ya kujitambua na kutojipenda yanahusika
    ingawa ni true love haina color
     
  11. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Sometimes it does!
    Kwa kuendelea kumuonyesha upendo mtu ambae hapendeki inamfanya aanze kujiangalia kwa upya. Wakati mwingine anaweza kukuuliza 'what do you see in me that others don't?' Na ikawa kete ya ushindi to air your opinions. Wakati mwingine, kuweza kuwapenda na ku-keep up with people ambao wameshindikana ama hawatakiwi na yeyote huwa ni chachu ya mabadiliko.
    Mind you, siongelei tasnia ya malavi davi peke yake.
     
  12. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    nikiangalia kwa mtizamo tofauti, hii statement inaweza kutumika kwa mtu aliyejichukia kwa muda fulani, lakini lazima mtu huyu awe aliwahi jipenda wakati fulani katika maisha yake.

    Mie naamini, tunafundishwa kupenda unconditional na kujipenda tangu siku tunazaliwa. Yale mazingira unayoishi ndio yanakufundisha kupenda wengine, kama ulipendwa upendo wa manyanyaso hata wewe kwenye maisha yako utatoa upendo wa aina hiyo hiyo.

    Ngoja nijaribu mfano huu kama nitakuwa clear.

    Mtoto anapozaliwa, akalelewa kwenye maisha ya kunyanyaswa, sio tu kwamba hajithamini yeye, ila hata yeye hataamini sana katika 'unconditional love' kwa wengine.

    Mtu wa aina hii sijui hii 'love u till you love yourself' kama itaweza fanya kazi kwake maana naamini hicho unachojaribu kumfundisha hajawahi ki-experience. Na kama unavyojua, tunatafsiri na kuelewa mambo kulingana na historia zetu. 'cognitive theory' mfano mtoto wa mitaani, anachojifunza ni ku-survive, hayo ya hisia ni bonus, sidhani kama anaweza elewa hii kihisia.

    lakini hii inaweza kuwa tofauti kwa mtu aliyelelewa kwenye upendo na akafundishwa kujitamini na kupenda wengine uncondtiona.
    Lakini labda akawa abused kwenye mahusiano na kukata tamaa. Ukijaribu apply hii 'love you till you love yourself' inaweza fanikiwa.
     
  13. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    yani u name it!asiyejipenda anaamini pia katika hadhi yake kupandishwa na vitu vya nje,yani anategemea sana katika watu/vitu kumtambulisha yeye ni nani.kwa hiyo kama jamii inaamini aliye na mume/mke mzungu na sio swala la uzungu yani yale yote jamii inayovalue kama ndo vigezo vya ubora kwa mwanadamu basi asiyejipenda ataangukia humo since hajui yeye katika upekee wake ni nani na anataka nini kujipa amani!anategemea kwa kufurahi au kwa watu kumgwaya mtaani yeye ndo bora!kitu ambacho wen it cums to love and being loved ni vitu mbalimbali!
     
  14. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    yah tunafundishwa kupenda na kupendwa toka tumboni mwa mama zetu!
     
  15. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    King'asti haya unayozumza yana ukweli but je masuala ya gender hapa yanakuwaje?
    binti na mwanaume asiejitambua italingana na mwanaume na binti asiejitambua?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    sina hakika kama nimekupata hapa.

     
  17. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Umezungumza fence ya moyo
    hii fence inajifunga kwa 'mtu sie sahihi'?
    na kujifungua kwa mtu sahihi?
    je na wale ambao wanajua kabisa huyu mtu sio sahihi
    na sometimes anasema kabisa 'kuwa fulani hanifai kwa kweli'
    lakini wapo tu still na jitu hilo hilo?
     
  18. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    sioni kama gender inahusika hapa kwa hisia. Ila sema wanawake ni rahisi kusoma hisia zao kwa nje kuliko wanamme.

    Ila kumpenda mtu asiyejipenda hadi ajipende ugumu ni ule ule.

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  19. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Nimezungumza mdada wa ki Tz
    mfano kuamua yeye 'ataolewa na mzungu tu'
    hata kama hana shida ya pesa
    je ni self esteem issues?
     
  20. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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