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The Irish Prostitute

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kimbweka, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 9, 2010
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
    Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

    The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."

    "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

    OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership in the country club ... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

    "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

    Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff ... a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."

    "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

    Hii inafanana na wale wenzetu wa kuleeee ........ money mongers
     
  2. PhD

    PhD JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 9, 2010
    Joined: Jul 15, 2009
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    ni mchaga wa kuzaliwa akakuli Ireland
     
  3. Ngambo Ngali

    Ngambo Ngali JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 9, 2010
    Joined: Apr 17, 2009
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    wairish wana vituko kwelikweli ona hii:

    The Irish Drinking Buddies

    Two elderly Irish drinking buddies, O'Shea and O'Donnell, are sitting
    at the pub musing on the end of life.

    O'Donnell remarks, "Ye know, O'Shea, we've had great sport together
    for many years. It just came to moind that should it be I who happens
    to go first, it'd mean a great deal to me if ye'd say a few koind
    words at me grave."

    "That I'll do, O'Donnell, that I'll do," O'Shea replied. "But should
    it be I who happens to go first, I'd be forever grateful if ye'd pour
    a bottle of foine Irish whiskey o'er me grave for old times sake."

    "That I'll do, O'Shea," said O'Donnell. "That I'll do… but would ye
    mind it too very much if it should happen to pass through me kidneys
    first?"
     
  4. De Javu

    De Javu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 9, 2010
    Joined: May 5, 2010
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    Inafanana na hii pia..........

    Mzee mmoja wa Kichaga ambaye alikuwa mkali
    sana kwa binti yake anaamka asubuhi na kuaarifiwa kwamba binti yake ana mimba!

    Mzee wa Kichaga:
    "Aisee we Manka nakwenda kazini, nikirudi leo ni lazima uniambie ni nani kafanya uchafu huu" Anafoka na kuondoka kuelekea ofisini.

    Mchana anapigiwa simu na Mama Manka na kuambiwa kwamba yule jamaa aliyempa mimba bintiye yupo nyumbani anamsubiri kwa mazungumzo! Mzee anachukua panga lake na kulinoa kabisaaa kwa ajili ya kwenda kumteketeza mwanaharamu huyo. Kufika nyumbani mambo yanakuwa hivi:

    Kijana aliyempa mimba binti:

    Mzee ni kweli mi ndiye nimempa mimba binti yako, na kusema kweli sina mpango wa kumuoa. Lakini akizaa mtoto wa kiume nitakupa US$ 1 million
    na ghorofa Kariakoo kisha nachukua mtoto.
    Akizaa mtoto wa kike nakupa US$ 1million na duka Sinza!
    Lakini je mzee, ikitokea bahati mbaya mimba hii ikaharibika itakuwaje?

    Mzee wa Kichaga:
    Aisee babaangu itabidi tu umpe mimba nyingine, hakuna jinsi!
     
  5. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 10, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Kab'saaaaa babaaangu itabidi urudi........urudie tena! .................:becky:
     
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