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The English Language

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by X-PASTER, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #1
    Apr 24, 2008
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
    Messages: 11,651
    Likes Received: 75
    Trophy Points: 145
    Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

    Let's face it...
    English is a stupid language.

    There is no egg in the eggplant
    No ham in the hamburger.
    And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
    English muffins were not invented in England
    French fries were not invented in France.

    We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that:

    Quicksand takes you down slowly.
    Boxing rings are square
    And a guineapig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
    If the plural of tooth is teeth
    Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
    If the teacher taught,
    Why didn't the preacher praught.

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables
    What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
    Why do people recite at a play
    Yet play at a recital?
    Park on driveways and
    Drive on parkways

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down.

    And in which you fill in a form By filling it out
    And a bell is only heard once it goes!

    English was invented by people, not computers
    And it reflects the creativity of the human race
    (Which of course isn't a race at all)

    That is why
    When the stars are out they are visible
    But when the lights are out they are invisible
    And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts
    But when I wind up this observation,
    It ends.
     
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