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The Bottom line ya sanaa ya kutongoza

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Ms Judith, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. Ms Judith

    Ms Judith JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Katika umri wangu wa miaka 26 nimetongozwa na hata kutongoza sana. Na kwa kweli napenda sana kutongoza na kutongozwa. Kwangu mimi kutongoza/kutongozwa ni njia ya kupanua mawasiliano miongoni mwa watu mbalimbali katika jamii. Hii ndiyo silaha ama nyenzo kuu inayosaidia kuanzisha mahusiano ya kimapenzi kati ya waume kwa wake ingawa siku hizi kutokana na mporomoko wa maadili, unaweza kukuta mahusiano ya jinsia moja.

    Hapa najaribu kuweka wazi uzoefu wangu katika sanaa hii ambayo wengi wetu tumepitia. kama una chochote cha kuongeza basi kitafaa sana. Pia Nataka kuweka wazi mapema kuwa wanyama wote majike kwa madume hutongoza, ila hapa nitazingatia zaidi wanadamu.

    Kutongozaa ni sanaa. kama zilivyo sanaa nyingine zote kuna wanaoimudu zaidi yaw engine kutokana na utofauti wa vipaji mbalimnali. By definition naweza kuiita kuwa ni sanaa ambayo kwayo mtu anajaribu kupenya "ngome ya gereza" ambamo moyo wa mtu Fulani umewekwa mahabusu. Hapa nataka wote tuchukule kuwa moyo ama nafsi ya mtu inayotakiwa kuridhia mapenzi ni sawa na mahabusu aliyefichwa kwenye gereza lenye ulinzi mkali na kuingia humo lazima hatua zote za usalama zichukuliwe ili kujiridhisha kuwa haitakuwepo hatari yoyote. Hatua hizi ni pamoja na kukaguliwa na kupekuliwa nk. kwa hali ya juu sana na ikiwapo dalili ya wasiwasi wowote, basi anayetaka kuingia hurudishwa nyuma au kukataliwa kabisa. Sasa hapo ndipo kuna sanaa mbalimbali hutumika kuwahadaa walinzi walio kwenye mlango wa hilo gereza na wakati mwingine hujikuta wameruhusu hata watu hatari kuingia humo gerezani na wakati mwingine kuutesa huo moyo humohumo gerezani ulimofungiwa.

    Mbinu za mwanaume
    Imezoeleka kuwa mwanumme ndiye anayetongoza zaidi na mara nyingi hutumia mbinu mbalimbali kama mazungumzo, nyimbo, miluzi, barua/email/sms, zawadi kama pesa, outgoings za shopping, dinner, lunch nk., maua, nguo, picha, uturi nk na hata ishara za mwili mfano kukonyeza, kutikisa kichwa, shingo, kuumua na kukamua uso/mashavu, kufanya baadi ya mtindo kama ya nywele na ndevu, kukitakita miguu chini kujitekenya mwenyewe ama kumtenkenya mwenzie, kujieleza ama kujisifu, kulalamika, kulia ama kuomboleza kwa lengo la kuvuta hisia na huruma ya mwenzie,kuomba msamaha kujenga hisia za uadilifu, kutoa msaada kama kumbebea vitu kama ndoo za maji, mikoba, mizigo mbalimbali nk, kujiweka karibu kimawasiliano na hata kutoa msaada kwenye familia ya msichana, kuonyesha vituko, utundu au ufundi na uhodari katika mambo fulanifulani kama michezo mbalimbali kama riadha, kucheza ngma,muziki, mpira, kuimba hata games kama karata, bao, draft nk, kuonyesha uhodari mfano kwenye kilimo, biashara, uvuvi nk. Yoote hayo kwa lengo la kupenya ngome iliyohifadhi moyo wa msichana.

    Mbinu za mwanamke
    Wengi huamini kuwa mwanamke hutongoza mara chache, lakini hii si kweli. Wanwake hutongoza mara nyingi sana na huenda mara yingi zaidi ya mwanaume. Tofauti ni kuwa mwanaume yuko active zaidi na mwanamke hutongoza akiwa passive zaidi. Hata wanaume wengi (kadiri ya 47%)hutongoza wasichana ambao tayari walishaanza kuwatongoza wao. Hii hutokea pale amabapo mvulana alikuwa hajiamini au amejaa woga wa kumuanza msichana kwa kuamini kuwa huenda akakataliwa au hisia kuwa msichana matawi ya juu. Sasa kama binti kampenda atamuanza yeye kwa kujiweka karibu yake na soon mwanume atapata confidence na kurusha ndoano ambayohata isipokuwa na chambo itadakwa na binti na mwanume atakuwa akiamini kuwa altongoza na kufanikiwa kupata kiulaini, kumbe hali halisi ni kuwa yeye ndiye aliyetongozwa na kunaswa kiulaini!

    Tena wanawake hufanikiwa kunasa mara nyingi zaidi ukilinganisha na wanaume. Inakadiriwa kuwa zaidi ya 92% ya wanawake wanaotongoza hufankiwa huku wanaume wanaofanikiwa wakiwa 67% pekee. Ni wazi wahenga hawakukosea waliposema kuwa simba mwenda pole ndiye mla nyama!

    Wanawake hutumia mbinu kama be the first to call strategy, kukuomba no. ya simu, email nk, hukuomba msaada hata pale ambapo hana shida kabisa na huo msaada mfano, vocha au misaada ya kimasomo anaweza kukuomba umsaidie swali Fulani hata kama hilo swali analijua vizuri pengine zaidi yako. Katika nchi zingine msichana anaweza kukushika kiuno mnapotembea barabarani, hapa kwetu anaweza kukushika mkono huku akikutekenya kiganja cha mkono wako, au anaweza kuzungumza nawe huku akikutazama au hata kukuchorachora kwa vidole vyake kifuani au mkononi, anaweza kuvaa nguo fulanifulani mfano za rangi ya zambarau au nyekundu hutumiwa sana, kukutembelea chumbani au nyumbani kwenu bila taarifa (japo wakati mwingine kwa taarifa) zawadi mbalimbali (kama mwanaume hapo juu), mzungumzo, nyimbo nk (ingawa si active kama alivyo mwanaume)

    Naona niishie hapa na naamini licha ya kuwachosha kwa maelezo marefu, kwa kiasi fulani nimeshare nanyi kauzoefu kangu kadogo katika masuala haya.

    Stay blessed & Good day
    Judy
     
  2. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 2, 2011
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    asante kwa kuniongezea ujuzi
     
  3. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Asante Judy....hapa nawaza maana ya neno kutongoza.....
     
  4. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 2, 2011
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    [​IMG]
     
  5. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Mpaka ufikie kumchora mwanaume kifuani level ya kutongozana mmeshaivuka!
     
  6. Donnie Charlie

    Donnie Charlie JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 2, 2011
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    professional
     
  7. Mjanga

    Mjanga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 2, 2011
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    JUDY article yako ni nzuri sana na ya kuvutia, hongera sana! ILA NINA MASHAKA KUWA HIYO KAZI SIYO YAKO, EBU JARIBU KU ACKNOWLEDGE ORIGINAL SOURCE YA HIYO KAZI! KUTOKUFANYA HIVO NI WIZI MKUBWA SAWA NA UFISADI NDANI YA UAKADEMIA!


     
  8. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 2, 2011
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    I see Judy ni ngumu kumbinya binya kiganja mwanaume ambaye hujamzoea na unajua ukifanya hivyo ni msg sent.....
    Labda sometimez macho yanaongea kama umempenda mtu ukimtizama usoni utajitahidi kukwepesha macho fasta ili asisome hisia zako lakini kama utaendelea kumtizama anaweza kugundua unahisia juu yake :hand:
     
  9. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Duh! Mbona unatilia shaka uwezo wake?
     
  10. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

    #10
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Kwa hizi mbinu za mwanamke, sasa naanza kuamini nimetongozwa zaidi kuliko nilivyotongoza
     
  11. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Aiseee!!!!!
     
  12. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

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    Ndio tatizo la watanzania wengi, hasa viongozi wetu wa nchi ndio maana tunaletewa mpaka wamachinga wa kichina na wapaka rangi wazungu. Sitaki niongee sana, lakin ukifanya kitu kizuri, ni ngumu sana mtanzania mwenzako akuamini
     
  13. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

    #13
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    Kweli kaka. Mwanamke kumbe anatumia indirect speech
     
  14. LUSAJO L.M.

    LUSAJO L.M. JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 2, 2011
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    The Art of Seduction.
     
  15. Dinnah

    Dinnah JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Wapi NazJaz
     
  16. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 2, 2011
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    Kwa maana fupi ya ujumla ktk hili mi naona ni kutongoza ni kushawishi ili kufanyiwa lile unalotaka. Hiyo ni ya kiujumla but unaweza kuispecify ktk mapenzi au hata ktk mambo mengine.
     
  17. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 2, 2011
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    Mi nilienda Mango kwa Twanga pepeta. Nikawa najichezea zangu pale mbele pamoja na wadau wengine. Mnapafahamu Mango siku ya Jmosi usiku. Katika kucheza wakawepo mabinti wawili wazuri tu nadhani wanatoka chuo fulani. Wakatoka huko nyuma na kuja mbele yangu na mmoja (beautiful) akawa anacheza nami na mara ananipa mgongo n.k. Zikawa kama zinatembea ishara fulani kati yao. Mwisho wa siku mziki uliisha tukaenda kukaa. Inawezeka ni njia ya kutongoza? Unfortunately sikuchukua hatua yoyote maana walikuwa ni wageni kwangu ila roho ilinisuta. Niambieni ili next time nisifanye tena blunders
     
  18. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 2, 2011
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    True 99.9999%
     
  19. d

    docotera Member

    #19
    Mar 2, 2011
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    natural insticts
     
  20. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 2, 2011
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    woo....try to gain the love of (a woman)......hii ya kiingereza....
    Kutoa ishara za kimapenzi sio kutongoza....labda nitaziita ni zana za kusaidia utongozaji....
     
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