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That painful feeling of being ignored!!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by vanilla, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Being ignored feels bad. The more that person is important to you the more pain and rejection you will experience. It's nice not to care about people and have uncaring attitude, but what if you want to be appreciated and people ignore you?



    First of all, practice the acceptance. The more resistant you are, the more pain and anger you will feel. If you accept the fact that you are ignored no matter how good person you think you are, it will make it easier first of all on YOU.


    Acceptance can bring peace to you, it can make you feel better. Even if you don't agree with it, just be open minded, accept it at least for a moment and you will realize it's not as bad as it seems to you.


    Next step, is to realize that just because as wonderful as you are, those people may have different needs based on their past experience. It's not your fault that they grew up a certain way and attracted to a certain type of people.Sometimes it's unrealistically to expect something from someone that they can't give.


    One of the worst feelings of being ignored is rejection. You feel ignored when you have unmet expectations. For example, maybe you expect more attention, more conversation, more hanging out or anything else from that person and if he/she can't give it to you, you feel ignored. It can create pressure and conflict in relationships.
    If someone feels pressured in giving you more attention, they might want to break up and ignore you even more only because they avoid conflict. Most people want to avoid conflict no matter what even if it means further misunderstanding on both sides.


    Feeling of being ignored can come from your confusing and fear of rejection. If you can overcome a need of acceptance and fear of rejection then being ignored won't see so bad.


    Deal with being ignored


    Always try to find positive in every situation. What if someone ignores you now, only to find that you will meet someone better later? Does it sound as bad then? Of course not...Being ignored isn't always as bad as it seems to you. Maybe they aren't trying to ignore, but come across this way, only because they have very busy and stressful lives.
    If your wish to be the most important person in that person's life, it's a nice wish, but it could be only the fantasy you are trying to chase. If you change your perception and won't rely on real "proof" of acceptance, it can make your life a lot more easier.


    Also, it's possible that you are more needy than most people and it's not always bad, it's just different. Everyone is different and it's not bad. Being more needy or more distant has it's own advantages, so don't blame yourself if you come across as a needy person eager for affection, it's just means that you are different from others and you have certain unfulfilled needs.
    But how to deal with being so different? Try not to get angry at yourself first. Just because others don't do what you want it doesn't mean that you should be angry. Accept yourself the way you are, accept others and you will feel better.


    so let us all try not to ignore others unless you are doing that bila kujua. and also do not shut the door for your friends, you may never know how important you are to the person and that just a minute of your time to listen and care is worth saving a million tears on your friend.
     
  2. cartura

    cartura JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 23, 2012
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    how does this relate with your real life?
     
  3. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    I cant aggree more!
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Kupuuzwa na mtu ambae unataka/penda/tamani a'pay attention to you' SUCKS!
     
  5. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Umemaliza!
     
  6. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    It real sucks!
    I hate that feeling!
     
  7. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    it doesnt
     
  8. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    yes it relly SUCKS big time!!
     
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Wanawake wako very sensitive na hii kitu
    but mostly wanaume unaweza hata kukuta hajui mwenzie ana feel yuko 'ignored'
    so bora muwe mnasema...
    ukiwa ignored sema.......
     
  10. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    i bet everyone hates that kind of feeling.its not a good feeling at all!
     
  11. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    kwa kiswahili ni.

    Ni kweli, inanyonya kiasi kikubwa.

     
  12. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

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    unani ignore the boss
     
  13. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    upo sawa kabisa. kusema inasaidia chochote? will it change anything?
     
  14. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    asante kwa kuniambia..
    will pay more attention next time
     
  15. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    true dat! direct translation! and it makes sense.
     
  16. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    inasaidia sana
    unaweza hata wewe ku fikiri mwenzio ana ku ignore
    na yeye kumbe anahisi hivyo hivyo
    so mmoja akiongea its better
     
  17. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    It won't, bora usisema tu.

     
  18. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    but ladies huwa hawapendi kusema vitu direct and bad enough men want to hear things in pure black and white. hapo ndio shida.
     
  19. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

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    Duh!! so ni mwiko kuvunja ukimya?
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    Vanilla
    una id nyingine humu?
    mbona kama....
     
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