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Tatizo kwenye ndoa yangu naomba msaada

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Binti mmoja, Jun 7, 2012.

  1. B

    Binti mmoja Member

    #1
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Jun 1, 2012
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    Mimi ni binti wa miaka kama 30 hivi nina watoto wawili niko kwny ndoa ya kikristo kwa miaka mitano kwa sasa, Nimekuwa ninapata matatizo kwenye ndoa yangu mara kwa mara mimi na mume wangu, kiukweli naweza sijakaa kufurahia raha ya ndoa ni machungu tu mara nyingi. nina elimu ya kutosha nina kazi ya uhakika na mume wangu pia as well amenizidi kipato. Toka nimeanza maisha ya ndoa mimi ni kugombana na wasichana wake kwenye simu tu anatoka Asha, anaingia Hadija, akitoka anaingia ashura mpaka sasa hawahesabiki, kipindi chote hiko nimemvumilia nikijua ni utoto unamsumbua. inafika mahali mpaka anakuwa down mpaka kipato kinakuwa tabu kwake anakua amelost anakuwa na mapenzi sana na mimi tunajitahidi pamoja tunainuka.

    Sasa hivi karibuni amehama kazi kimkoa nilipo mimi ameenda mkoa mwingine kabla ya kuhama kulikuwa na ugomvi juu ya msichana fulani alikuwa anatembea nae, kiukweli sijawahi kufika kwake cause nilikuwa pregnant kwa wakati huo na hata baada ya kujifungua nikawa nalea mtoto pia job na niliona si vizuri kusumbua watoto kusafiri safiri especially mtoto mchanga na pia sababu alikuwa anakuja kuja mara kwa mara. Ikapita muda kidogo almost miezi miwili hajakuja nyumbani ila pesa akawa anatuma kama kawaida. juzi juzi kaja home akadai simu yake imezima chaji sikushtuka cause namjua tabia yake. asubuhi naenda job nikatumiwa sms na yule msichana anaetembea nae tht nimwambie mume wangu awashe simu anataka pesa ya cliniki dizaini ana mimba yake. nilikuwa namjibu kistaarabu yule dada amenitukana saaaana. ok nikamwambia mwenzangu akaleta visingizio vya hapa na pale, nilikuwa kazini niliporudi home sijamkuta mume wangu akawa amesafiri mkoa anaofanya kazi, siku iliyofuatia nilienda ule mkoa anaofanya kazi cause hajaacha hata pesa ya kutumia home namimi naishi na mama mkwe wangu na watoto wawili home.

    Nilipofika huko mkoani kwake nilikuta dalili zote za mtu kuishi na hawala mule ndani, nilikuta mafuta, na vikolokolo vyote vya wanawake. alikiri mbele ya ndugu yangu kuwa huyo mtu anakujaga mara moja moja kiukweli niliumia saana. tukalala asubuhi akaanza kuniambia maneno ya kijeuri tht huyo mwanamke hata nikimkuta pale kwake tutakaa wote na anaweza kuja huku home nilipo yaani popote atapoenda atakuwepo yule hawala cause ana mimba yake. nikamwacha nimerudi huku nilipo nikijua tatizo limeshakua kubwa na nahitaji kulitatua. NIKO NJIA PANDA SIJUI NITATUEJE NISAIDIENI WADAU. Maana nahisi watoto wangu mwisho wao siuoni na sijapanga watoto wangu waishi bila baba. sina la kufanya.
     
  2. OGOPASANA

    OGOPASANA JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Apr 30, 2009
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    pole sana dada...kwanza nakushauri ufikishe hili swala kwa wazazi wako, kwa wazazi wake na kwa viongozi wa dini. pili unapaswa kujua kuwa thamani yako ni kubwa kuliko mwanamke yoyote kwa mumeo kwa kuwa ndio amekuoa hata kama anakufanyia ndivyo sivyo...VUNJA mtandao kwani una hatari zaidi ya kupata magonjwa, na kujivunjia heshima... kuwa na msimamo, najua unampenda mumeo (na yeye analijua hilo ndo maana anatumia udhaifu wako kufanya madudu), ila kinga ni bora kuliko tiba.... shika lako ashike lake kwa muda muda fulani mpaka atakapoona una umuhimu kwake aje aombe kuwa na wewe.
     
  3. cacico

    cacico JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Mar 27, 2012
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    jamani, jamani, jamani, uwiiiiiii ni tabu gani hii?? yaani guys wakiamua kukudis, si ya kitoto, jamani BINTI MMOJA pole my dear, ni mitihani tu, ila usimchekee and am sure hicho si kufungo waeza jinasua! wapo watoto waliokua bila baba na wakakua tu, achana na hiyo dhana potofu coz mwisho wake ni UKIMWI! Bora utoke ili uwalee watoto wako bila ukimwi! kuliko kukaa, kuvumilia ukawaacha watoto kwasababu ya ukimwi! LEAVE THAT MAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! SEPA HARAKA BILA KUGEUKA NYUMA, NA USIJEJUTIA! HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU! PERIOD! arrrgggggg!
     
  4. Mnama

    Mnama JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 7, 2012
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    Hapa kuna mwili tu moja ukubaliane nae anavyotaka kuwa na wake wawili muishi wote kwa upendo na amani au uanze kujiandaa kisaikolojiia na kimaisha mapema kulea watoto wako mwenyewe kisha achane nae uendelee na maisha yako kivyako.
     
  5. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 7, 2012
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    ondoka tu my dear ..
    uanze maisha yako upya
     
  6. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Jan 11, 2012
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    pole sana dada. huyo ni wa kumuacha. anaweza kukuletea magonjwa au mengine makubwa zaidi. Jiulize akiamishwa mkoa mwingine itakuwaje kama sio kuleta mtoto wa pili... mwambie It's Not Right But It's Okay
     
  7. K

    Kimberley Member

    #7
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Dec 11, 2010
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    chagua moja; watoto na baba plus mtandao or watoto bila baba safely bila mtandao
     
  8. magino

    magino Member

    #8
    Jun 7, 2012
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    Kwa kweli dada umemshauri vizuri naongezea tu hata kama atamrudia ahakikishe wanapima kwanza asijepata tatizo baadae na kuwaacha watoto wadogo wateseke bure! Ndoa gani ya hvo? Hamna heshima usingángánie mwenzangu!!!
     
  9. C

    CHUAKACHARA JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Jun 3, 2011
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    Lipeleke tatizo hilo kwa wazazi wa pande zote. Kusanya ushahidi kudhihirisha kuwa mumeo ana hawala nje. Hii ni muhimu siku utakapotaka talaka ya kimahakama. ndio maana nakwambia lipeleke kwa wazazi. Pia ikibidi lipeleke kwa dawati la usuluishi polisi(huwa kuna kitu kama hicho). Hii itakusaidia kujenga hoja ya kisheria huko mbele utakapotaka talaka na kugawana mali mlizonazo. Hii iwe siri yako!!
    Pili, usife kwa ukimwi. Usikubali kumpa unyumba!! Hii ni muhimu kwa ajili ya afya yako. As long as una kazi yako nzuri, jipe moyo wa uvumilivu. Hauko peke yako, wanawake wengi sana wanapitia mateso hayo ya mapenzi.
     
  10. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 7, 2012
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    OGOPASANA sana umezungumza vzr sana! Haina maana kung'ang'ania sehemu ambayo haupendwi, after all maisha yanaweza kwenda bila hata huyo mwanaume. Kwa nini aendelee kuishi maisha ya mateso pasipo sababu za msingi?
     
  11. magino

    magino Member

    #11
    Jun 7, 2012
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    :A S thumbs_down:
     
  12. Bondpost

    Bondpost JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 7, 2012
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    Peleka mahakamani that Ba.s.ta.rd! Kwanza hiyo mimba ya mwanamke wa nje ni proof ya kutosha ya ground ya divirce kwa sababu ya ADULTERY! Mtagawana mali na kuhusu watoto atawatunza! Tena kwa asilimia kubwa hao watoto watakaa na wewe! Huyo mwanaume ni hatari sana atakuletea ukimwi aisee! Ila kama unakubali kuwa na wake wadogo itakucost baadae utakapoenda kuomba divorce kwani utakuwa ume-connive hali ile! Tafakari chukua hatua!
     
  13. mapanga3

    mapanga3 JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 7, 2012
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    pole sana dada na haongera kwa uvumilivu wa hali ya juu. Matito yako ni makubwa lkn usikate tamaa hakuna marefu yasiyo na incha. Huyo mumeo hana chembe ya uaminifu hata kama ukimshitaki wapi haita badilisha tabia yake. Ni heri ukalea watoto wako peke yako badala ya kulazima mwanaume ambaye atasababisha watoto wako wabaki yatima. Dada usisahau kua ukimwi bado upo. Muepuke ubaki salama
     
  14. B

    Binti mmoja Member

    #14
    Jun 7, 2012
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    thank you.
     
  15. B

    Binti mmoja Member

    #15
    Jun 7, 2012
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    Asante sana.
     
  16. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #16
    Jun 7, 2012
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    kwa mara ya kwanza natoa ushauri wa kuvunja ndoa, huyo mumeo anaonekana hakujali kabisa.... wewe na watoto wako. hata kama una shida vipi huyo mume hakufai, achana naye kabisaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. lea watoto wako na ufanye kazi kwa bidii.
    kuanguka ni jambo moja, lakini kukiri kwamba huyo jamaa wa nje ndo mambo yote, hilo halisameheki.
    kila la heri
     
  17. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #17
    Jun 7, 2012
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    kwani huyo mume bado anakupenda? yeye anasemaje kuhusu wewe?
    ila kunipenda wakati ananionyesha madharau! mmmmmh mmmh
     
  18. promiseme

    promiseme JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Mar 15, 2010
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    Pole sana mrembo na hongeara sanaaaaaa kwa uvumilivu manake mie nnavyojua mume anavyoumaa duh mungu akuzidishie uvumilivu akupe umri uweze kulea watoto wako, huyo bwana kwaupande wangu mpak hapo naona ameshachoka na ndoa yenu hana jinsi tuu,sababu hawezi kuongea pumba kama hizo wewe ukiwa kama mkewe,na huyu CD wake nani anampa haki yakuongea na wewe maneno machafu kama hayo sasa mie ningekua wewe ningeanza kujipanga na watoto wangu hakuna mume hapo keshakua gume gume huyo....
     
  19. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2010
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    Kwa nini ulisubiri tatizo liwa kubwa ndio ulitatue? hapo juu nime underline dalili zote za mvua inayo kunyeshea sasa hivi. It is very sad you did not take any action when you could. Hata hivo wanasema it is never too late to act.

    Kwanza kabisa elewa kua wewe hujakosea (zaidi ya kumuonesha uvumilivu wa kupindukia). Kama ndoa yenu inayumba leo ni kosa lake yeye, sio lako. So stop feeling guilty for something you did not cause. and stop trying to fix somebody else's mess.
    Hata kama hujajipanga kulea watoto bila baba nadhani umefika hatua ya kubadili mipango sababu hawana baba tena. Mtu anakaa miezi 2 bila kuja home wakati anaweza, na akija anaondoka bila kuacha pesa. Na pale unapo jaribu kuongea nae anakujibu kuny* hafai kuitwa baba tena, amesha jitoa kwenye ndoa hiyo.

    Mwache aendelee na huyo dada mngine, wewe jipange upya tu. Unaweza kuamua ku-divorce kabisa au unaweza kuamua separation tu (Ningeshahuri separation tu hadi pale utakapo kua na uhakika). Umesema unafanya kazi, basi anza kubadili taratibu zako za maisha ili mshahara wako uweze kufunika expences zako. Kama utakwama kabisa unaweza kuongea nae juu ya mahitaji ya watoto.
    Usilazimishe, huyo mtu hakupendi, na inaonekana hajawahi kupenda in 5 years of marriage. Ukiendelea kua nae utapata magonjwa ya kila aina, kuanzia BP, moyo, depression hadi magonjwa ya zinaa. Don't let anyone ruin your life, move on!
     
  20. B

    Binti mmoja Member

    #20
    Jun 7, 2012
    Joined: Jun 1, 2012
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    Anasema ananipenda amechanganyikiwa na yeye for the situation sijui wakati anafanya haoni, nimepeleka mashtaka kwny baraza la kata akikataa kuja au wakishindwa naenda ustawi wa jamii. What I need to do ni kufuta dream za huyo mke mtarajiwa kwanza kupata assuarance ya pesa ya matumizi kwa watoto monthly bila usumbufu. abakishiwe pesa ya kutumia yeye. sijui nifanye nini kingine?
     
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