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Suala la kuwa na imani tofauti linapotatiza taasisi ya ndoa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Jul 17, 2009.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Kujadili dini ni mojawapo ya mijadala inayokwepwa na baadhi ya wanajamii ili kuepusha shari na kudumisha amani. Lakini linapokuja swala mahusiano hususan pale watu wawili wenye imani tofauti za kidini wanapotaka kuoana, unaweza kuzuka mjadala mzito miongoni mwa ndugu na jamaa wa wapenzi hao na wakati mwingine hata marafiki hutokea kupinga muunganiko huo.

    Ninao mfano unaonihusu. Mdogo wangu anayenifuatia kuzaliwa alipata mchumba (mume) mwenye imani tofauti na imani yetu, jambo hilo lilizusha mtafaruku katika familia yetu kila mmoja akisema lake. Ilitokea tu mimi na baadhi ya ndugu zangu akiwemo baba tuliafiki ule muunganiko wao na ndoa ikafungwa na sasa ndoa yao ni imara na imetimiza miaka tisa mwaka huu wakiwa na watoto watatu.

    Ukweli ni kwamba jambo hili limekuwa likileta mtafaruku katika baadhi ya familia na wakati mwingine familia hujikuta ikisambaratika hasa pale ambapo familia moja inashindwa kukubali utashi wa mtoto wao kuolewa au kuoa mtu mwenye imani tofauti na mara nyingi hii hutokea katika familia zenye msimamo mkali wa kidini. Kama inavyofahamika mapenzi ni kitu cha ajabu sana. Pale ambapo penzi linapochipua hufunika imani zetu kiasi cha kujikuta wakati mwingine tunazisaliti imani hizo ambazo hata hivyo baadhi yetu hazikuwa utashi wetu bali tu tumejikuta tukiwa humo kwa sababu ni imani ambazo tumezaliwa na kukuta wazazi wetu wakiwa ni wafuasi wa imani hizo.

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    Huu ni mtihani mgumu sana kwetu na mara nyingi waathirika wa mtihani huu wengi wao ni wanawake na watoto ukilinganisha na wanaume. Wakati mwingine huwa najiuliza inakuwaje mtu anampata mpenzi anayempeda sana na mwenye sifa azitakazo lakini anashindwa kufunga naye ndoa kwa sababu ya kuwa na imani tofauti? Lakini pia wapo ambao wanalazimika kufunga ndoa na wapenzi wao sio kwa sababu wamependana, bali ni kwa sababu tu imani zao zinafanana…………!

    Kuna wanawake wengi sana wa kiasi cha kutosha wanalazimika kuishi katika ndoa ngumu kwa sababu ya imani zao, kilichowavuta kuingia katika muunganiko huo ni imani zao lakini sio upendo. Lazima tukubali kwamba mapenzi ni kitu kingine na imani ni kitu kingine. Kuingia katika ndoa kwa kigezo cha imani kunakuwa na changamoto zake ambazo mara nyingi hazina matokeao mazuri.

    Naamini hata humu JF wapo ambao wamewahi kukabiliana na mtihani huu au wako katika hati hati ya kukabiliana na mtihani huu. Hebu tupeane uzoefu juu ya jambo hili linalowatatiza wengi.

    Swali: Iwapo wewe ni single, Je uko tayari kufunga ndoa na mtu mwenye imani tofauti na imani yako? Je umejiandaaje kukabiliana na changamoto za wazazi, ndugu, marafiki na jamii kwa ujumla watakapopinga muunganiko wenu ?

    Nisingependa mjadala huu uwe ni wa kidini.

    Nadhani mmenielewa.........

     
  2. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Linapokuja swala la mahusiano ya kudumu, imani ni kitu cha kuangalia sana.
    Unatakiwa uwe na uhusiano na mtu ambaye imani zetu zinafanana, kama wewe uko makini na imani yako,
    Itasaidia utakapofika wakati wa ndoa hamtaanza kuhangaika sana, na dini haitakuwa kigezo cha kuwatenganisha.
    Na pia mtakapooona imani zinafanana itakuwa bora kwa watoto wenu hamtakuja kuwasumbua watoto kiimani.
     
  3. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Ni wapi uliona kunguru na njiwa wanaruka pamoja ktk kundi ktk mazingira ya kawaida? wanaweza kutua ktk mti mmoja kwa muda tu.
     
  4. Mtimti

    Mtimti JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 17, 2009
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    mi sikubaliani na wewe hata kidogo,hizo ni hadithi tu za kufikirika,mi baba yangu ni muislam na mama yangu ni mkristo na ni mdini kweli kweli na wapo kwenye ndoa yao zaidi ya miaka 40....kwa ushahidi huu wa wazazi wangu unafikiri mi ntakuunga mkono?
     
  5. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Hili nalo neno ndugu zangu
     
  6. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 17, 2009
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    lakini vipi Mlutheri na Mkatoliki kuna tatizo?
     
  7. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Au ni Mwislamu na Mkristo tu ndio walengwa hapa?
     
  8. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Mi hii kitu nasemaga hapa jamvini kila siku lakini naona aaaah!:confused: bora umenisaidia MJ1
     
  9. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Ndo maana waswahili wakasema una bahati ya mtende kuota jangwani. Hao ni wazazi waliojaaliwa kwelikweli,tena ni wachache wa hivyo. Kwa kuwa asilimia kubwa huwa ni shida sana baada ya sarakasi za ndoa kutokea,wengi wameishia kushauri,kila mmoja anywe pombe yake.
     
  10. R

    Rwabugiri JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Mtimti, ebu chunguza vizuri maisha ya wazazi wako, itakuwa lazima kuna mmoja si muumini wa kweli yaani hayuko serious sana na dini, kama mmojawapo anazingatia imani yake.

    Lakini kama wote ni waumini watiifu ki kweli kweli kwa dini zao, shida ipo sana tu!

    Kutojali kwa mmojawapo wa wazazi wako ndo kumesaidia katika hilo!
     
  11. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Mkuu baba yako angekua mdini angeoa Mkristo? Au una maanisha ni mshika dini? Maneno mengine angalia mkuu ukikosea kidogo tu unaleta tafsiri nyingine.
     
  12. MNDEE

    MNDEE JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 17, 2009
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    Naungana na waliotangulia hata mimi nimetokea kwenye koo mchanganyiko na hili halikuwa tatizo. Infact suala la watoto wako ambao wanawaachia watoto waexperience dini zote kisha wafanye maamuzi yao wenyewe watakapofikisha umri fulani. Kikubwa ni kuheshimu dini ya mwenzio na usimfanyie mtu vitu ambavyo usingependa wewe kufanyiwa. Wangapi wameoana na dini moja lakini magomvi na talaka kibao.
     
  13. Semilong

    Semilong JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 18, 2009
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    mdini unamaanisha mmbaguzi wa dini au mtu anayependa dini...
    mtu anayependa dini sio lazima awe mbaguzi wa dini nyingine

    mimi nimetoka kwenye familia mchanganyiko na ndugu zangu wengine ni dini tofauti na mimi na hamna matatizo yeyote

    note: kuwa mtu wa dini ni tofauti na ubaguzi wa dini, watu wengi wanadhani wao ni watu wa dini kumbe ni wa baguzi wa dini
     
  14. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jul 18, 2009
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    Mkuu si ndiyo hicho hicho mimi nilicho sema au? Nimemquote jamaa ambae kasema baba ake ni mdini lakini bado kaoa Mkristo. ndiyo maana mimi nikamuuliza kama alikua ana maanisha baba ake ni mdini au mshika dini. Au haukuelewa post yangu mkuu?
     
  15. Mtimti

    Mtimti JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 18, 2009
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    kaka,mwanaume wa kiislamu hakatazwi kuoa mwanamke ambaye si muislam
     
  16. Mtimti

    Mtimti JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jul 18, 2009
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    soma vizuri nilichoandika,usiweke sentensi yangu upside down
     
  17. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jul 18, 2009
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    sawa kabisa mami, nina frnd wangu yeye ni mkristo lakini akazaa na muislamu watoto wawili, hakuna anaetaka kubadili dini yake, watoto na baba waislamu na wanaenda madrasa mama ni mkristo na anaenda kanisani, ni vurugu tupu ! kila mtoto ana jina la kiislamu na kikristu, baba katoa majina yake kwa wanae na mama kawapa majina ya kikristu wanae, yaani ni patashika.
     
  18. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jul 18, 2009
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    Lakini akumbuke pia ni kitambo kidogo, nowdays mambo yamebadilika sana. Wazee wetu walikuwa na busara sana kuliko tulizo nazo leo sisi, waliweza kusettle mambo pasipo mifarakano

    Mfano mzuri tazama ndoa zilizovunjika kati ya mwaka 1945 mpaka 1980 halafu uje uangalie ndoa zilizovunjika kati ya mwaka 1985 mpaka mwaka 2005. Utagundua tofauti kubwa sana, yaani zamani kutengana hadi kuvunjika kwa ndoa ilikuwa process ndefu sana ila kwa leo kutengana hadi kuvunjika kwa ndoa ni one step, hakuna viunzi tena
     
  19. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jul 18, 2009
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    ......nguo kuchanika

    ila mie nina ndugu yangu alimshawishi sana mchumba wake aliyekuwa muislamu akabadili dini, sasa wote mtindo mmoja ibadani kila Sunday, nzuri na inapendeza kuwa dini moja, i think so
     
  20. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jul 18, 2009
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    lakini binti Mwislamu anakatazwa kuolewa na mwanaume Mkristo. Au nimekosea jamani?
     
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