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“Strong Blood Ties” Vs “Strong Love Ties”

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by AshaDii, Oct 9, 2011.

  1. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #1
    Oct 9, 2011
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    Habari Familia yangu ya MMU na wana JF woote...

    Hopefully you and your Loved ones woote ni wazima and have spent the Weekend to perfection.... Leo nimeona tuweke maswala ya Wapenzi pempeni na tuangalie familia zetu… Hasa kama nafasi yako wewe ni Mzazi ama mlezi wa familia… Ni muhimu kua utaposoma hili bandiko utasoma huku ukifikiria familia yako na your role katika familia yako katika maswala nitayogusia hapa…




    Wazazi/Walezi wengi katika mahusiano ya familia na jinsi ya kuyaboresha tumekazania saana mahusiano ya Mapenzi kati ya Mke na mume/Mtu na Mpenzi wake tukisahau kabisa kuangalia na watoto wetu… Ziwe za watoto wetu ama na watoto wa ndugu zetu ambao tunaishi nao na kuwalea… Pamoja na kusema kua Wazazi/walezi woote tunazingatia yalo muhimu hasa kwa mahitaji basics kama malazi, shule, nguo, chakula na hata kujitahidi kuwalea kisasa waende na pace ya kasi ya ulimwengu wa leo kadri ya uwezo wetu…. In most cases nime observe kua wazazi/walezi wengi tumesahau kabisa suala la Mapenzi within and between watoto katika familia, For nahisi imechukuliwa for granted kua itaota na kushamiri….

    Suala la kushamiri kwa Mapenzi ndani kati ya watoto ndo hasa lililonifanya niweke hili bandiko hapa… What parents should note IMO ni kua Mapenzi kati ya Mtu na Mpenzi wake as much as mara nyingi hujiendesha huku yakifuata mkondo wake…. Mapenzi ndani ya familia kati ya wazazi na watoto/kati ya watoto na watoto yanatakiwa yapandikizwe… yapaliliwe… na kujengwa na wazazi/walezi kwa hali ya juu saana na kwakutumia busara saan; hio ikiambatana na jinsi muwaleavo…. Kuna mifano mingi ambayo tumeona kua wanandugu wa damu kabisa hawaelewani wala kupatana… kila mmoja akijiona ni bora kuliko mwenzie, kila wakionana ni kulumbana kiasi kwamba observers waweza fikiri hata hamna blood ties… (sababu ya chuki yaweza kua nyingi, but naamini kwa kiasi kikubwa hata the way hao siblings walilelewa na wazazi/walezi yaweza changia kwa wao kuvunjiana heshima na kutopendana)


    ...Kupanda/kupalilia na Kujenga Mapenzi…


    Kikubwa ambacho wazazi/walezi inabidi tutambue ni kua kuna mambo ambayo mara nyingi yaweza onekana kama ni madogo na kwamba effects zake ni ndogo… Kumbe in a long run ni moja ya vi aspect ambavo uharibu kabisa mahusiano kati ya watoto…. IMO naona ni bora watoto wangu wakanichukia mimi kama mzazi wao (God Forbid!!) kama hio chuki yao itafanya wao wapendane kwa dhati to the extent kua hamna mfano… kwamba watashikana wakati wa shida na raha… wataheshimiana… watajaliana na watakua pamoja kiasi kwamba hakuna mtu aweza waingilia kati… For they are the future generation na wewe tayari generation yako inapita/imepita…. Kila Mzazi naamini anapenda iwe hivi –But we have to look at our selves with a detached eye…. Kua; Is what we are doing in collaration na end result ambayo tuna strive?? - Yaani strong love ties as well as blood ties between our beloved children…




    Kujibu Hio in Purple IMO haya ni baadhi ya mambo ambayo yaweza kutuongoza kama Wazazi/Walezi; kua to what extent tunacheza nafasi zetu kuhakikiksha there is love ties kati na within the family hasa watoto….



    • Ni wazi kua mara nyingi saana wazazi hua wana mtoto ambae ni the most favourite… Je hayo mapenzi yako ya ziada kwa huyo mtoto yapo wazi… in the sense kila mtoto anatambua kua Fulani anapendwa zaidi kuliko wengine??
    • Ni wazi kua mara nyingi watoto wamejaliwa upeo tofauti na uelewa tofauti hivo kufanya awepo mtoto ambae anaonekana kipanga kuliko mwingine (thou wengine hua vilaza ama vipanga woote) Je hua unawatreat vipi hawa watoto ambao level zao za IQ ni tofauti ili isi affect mahusiano ya mapenzi na heshima kati ya watoto….
    • Kuna ule msemo wa black sheep of the family…. Kama huyo mwanao ni black sheep; umeshatafakari wewe kama Mzazi/Mlezi nafasi ambayo umecheza kwa yeye kua hivo au escalation ya hio tabia…Vitu kama unapomgombeza – Unamgombeza mbele ya wenzie?? unagomba tu kwa hasira siku zooote?? (umewahi kaa nae bila hasira na kumwambia the way tabia yake inaweza mletea madhara ama kila siku ni matusi na vichapo??)
    • Kwa wale ambao watoto woote ni boarding na hao watoto huonana mara mbili ama tatu kwa mwaka tena kwa week chache… Mnafanya nini ili kuhakikisha the siblings are not strangers to one another?? Unahakikisha wana spend vipi mda as a family?? Unafanya nini ili wajue na kutuambua kua family comes first NO MATTER what?? Je ratiba yao iko soo tite centred on improving personal lives ya kila mmoja, bila kuweka kabisa kipengele cha muhimu kua pia inabid yeye mtoto atambue kua inatakiwa kutengwa mda kwa ajili ya familia pia…

    Wana JF naamini ni mengi inabidi tuangalie… Na naamini ni moja ya sehemu tumechukulia saana for granted but ina umuhimu saana hasa hiki kizazi cha dot com ambacho yaonesha huko mbele kila mtu atashika zake…. Kama Wazazi/Walezi ku maintain hizo blood ties as well as Love ties…. hio ni kazi saana but naamini at least we try/should try. Hivo naomba saana michango yenu na tuweze jadili kwa upana mambo ambayo nimegusia hapa…. Kwa wale ambao ni wadogo (bado sio wazazi) waweza gusia tu in relation na topic… as in labda hayo yalotajwa hapo juu ni jinsi gani ipo applicable kwao or kama wanaona kweli ni mhimu…. Asanteni.




    Pamoja Saaana


    AshaDii.

     
  2. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    dah, adi umeongea kitu cha maana sana. wazazi wana sehemu muhimu sana ktk kujenga upendo kati ya watoto wao. this morning i watched a movie 'double wedding', two galz fighting over the same guy. kitu cha muhimu ni msg moja tu kwa watoto wetu: '' u will love and respect ur siblings no matter what!'' i will have to come back.
     
  3. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    AD umeongea jambo la maana sana. Japo kwenye familia huwezi ukasema unawapenda watoto wote sawa au hata wewe ukiangalia historia yako sio kwamba wazazi wana upendo sawa kwako. Huwa inatokea na huwa haina formula kuwa kuna kati ya watoto utawaonyesha upendo zaidi na mwingine anakuwa hana.
    Dhana hii humjenga mtoto kukua akiwa nayo kuwa wazazi wangu walikuwa wanampenda fulani zaidi. Na yeye hata akija kuwa na familia atakuwa na hali ile ile aliyokua au aliyolelewa nayo Na mtoto kama huyo atapambana atakapoona pendo alilopambana kulipata linachukuliwa na mtu mwingine.
    (Sijui nimeenda nje ya mada. Ngoja nisome mara ya pili tena )
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Ewe kaka msomi. "The same attitude" kwa Kiswahili ni nini? "he/she have to fight" kwa Kiswahili ni nini? Na "his/her love" kwa Kiswahili ni nini?
     
  5. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Sidhani kama yapo hayo maneno
     
  6. peri

    peri JF-Expert Member

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    Kitu cha ukweli,
    Zakupewa changanya na zako.
     
  7. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Wifi King... Kuna mambo ambayo yako so complicated in families.... aaaiisee! as sisters fighting over the same Man ought to make that Man big headed and if not careful ni guarantee ya kuwatumia woote wawili.... CRAZY!! King I am waiting...
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Umelihariri bandiko lako na kuyatoa. Unabisha?
     
  9. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Hili soma nimejifunza vema at first hand toka ndani ya famillia yetu... I am the only gal hivo babangua alikua ananipenda mno; But i never realised that mpaka mamangu ilipofika arobaini akaniita na kuniambia My dad loved me so much to the extent hakuna siku maishani mwake ilipita bila kunitaja hata nilipo olewa... akiamini it was only fair i knew... Looking back naona kua ni kweli na nakumbuka a lot of things ambazo kwa undani inaonesha alinipenda mno thou hakupenda onesha to My elder brother ambae pia is the only son.... Ilinifundisha saaana; never to show the difference btn my kids who ironically nao wamezaliwa hivo hivo....
     
  10. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    If you don't mind Tafadhali naomba huu ubishani usite! Alafu Ngabu please say something on the Topic at hand.....
     
  11. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Ubishi umeisha
    Ni jambo lisiloepukika kukuta hali kama hiyo kwenye familia na huwqezi ukaikwepa. Hata miongoni mwa watoto wako kuna ambaye unampenda zaidi wala sio kitu ambacho unakilea ila kinakuja chenyewe na unajikuta kila mara hutaki kumkosa au kuwa mbali nae.
    Na huwa kinajengeka hadi ukubwani na ikitokea mtoto yule akafanya jambo kidogo tuu kwako upendo ule unazidi sana
     
  12. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Okay ma'am. In deference to you I'll cut it out.

    About the topic at hand, I don't have a whole lot to say because I'm one of those spoiled little brats aka the one and only. So I have zero experience when it comes to growing up with a sibling or siblings.

    As a parent, my youngin has yet to get a little brother or sister. So there you can see how utterly unqualified I am on this matter. But I'm keeping my hopes up high that when I get there I'll be able to cross that bridge successfully.
     
  13. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Rocky are you saying sababu inakuja naturally hivo ni sawa tu kuonesha Mapenzi zaidi ka mtoto mmoja?? Do you think it fair?? Kumbuka kua nime acknowledge mapenzi kwa mtoto ila nashauri sie kama wazazi tutumie busara ya hali ya juu kulea watoto wetu ili waweze pendana....
     
  14. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Ngabu appreciated for the submission… and your post leaves me no angle of which I can ask anything further…. Ila aside from the post… I have confidence you do not live in seclusion and that you have seen/observed other families live… by means of that as a foundation of information what can you say…
     
  15. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Ngoja nichukue maujuzi hapa.
    Ubarikiwe mamii kwa kukumbuka kuzungumzia hili swala.
     
  16. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    QUOTE=AshaDii;2619139]Rocky are you saying sababu inakuja naturally hivo ni sawa tu kuonesha Mapenzi zaidi ka mtoto mmoja?? Do you think it fair?? Kumbuka kua nime acknowledge mapenzi kwa mtoto ila nashauri sie kama wazazi tutumie busara ya hali ya juu kulea watoto wetu ili waweze pendana....[/QUOTE]

    AshaDii nakubaliana na wewe it is not fair. Ila huwa inatokea bila mtu kuomba au kulazimisha unajikuta upendo umeegamia kwa mtoto mmoja. Sometimes inakuwa shida na inaleta hata chuki kwa watoto wengine wanavyoona hali kama hiyo ila kama wazazi twapaswa kuwa makini sana kutoonyesha wazi wazi upendo wetu umeegemea kwa nani
     
  17. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    nadhani mzazi mwenye hekima anajitahidi kwa kila hali kutoonesha upendeleo kwa baadhi ya watoto.bt with time unajua kabisa wanakua wanategemea zaidi kutoka kwa mtoto huyu (coz of iq,matokeo mazuri shuleni etc). though badae sana wanakuja kugundua pengine umdhaniaye ndie siye (mj1 aliongelea hapa heshima ya mtoto wa kiume kuliko wa kike,bt baadae mtoto wa kike ndo anasaidia ama kutoa tafu kuliko aliyetegemewa). nili-notice dadangu kuitwa 'mama', spoiled brat like NN, bt maybe aftr 3 boys a lil gal was such a bundle of joy. lakini kupendana was the 11th commandment in the house. kiasi kwamba hata ukichokozwa,ukarusha kofi ama say a bad word utaadhibiwa pia kwa sababu violence was nt among the choice of solutions. so,nadhani wazazi walikua na sehemu kubwa sana ya kuhakikisha upendo unakuwepo. oh,nakumbuka nikiwa std 1,my grandma alikua mzee sana. lakini was always telling us abt loving each other.madingi nao walikua wanaambiwa wawasiliane sana blah blah!
     
  18. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    wifi,i will say this over and over again! u ar a jelly good mother and a superb wife, leave alone the obvious fact that u ar a good wifi too! i lov the way u handled these two! hawa wapwa zako 5 wakifunga shule tu ntawafukuzia kwako,mungu awasaidie lile ghorofa lenu likamilike salama.
     
  19. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    i


    Hio ndio sababu yangu ya Msingi kuzungumzia hii topic... Is it worth it?? Kwamba just because unamfavor mmoja uwajengee Chuki ya moja kwa moja watoto... ambao in the long run inatakiwa washikamane na wapendane... Which is beta Rocky achilia mbali kuhusu nature... It maybe wazazi wengine hili hawajatambua but by reading this wanajikuta/realise kua it is true they do the same... Hivo hapo ndo mie nasimamia... Kua it is not simple but as parents tuwe makini.....
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    its complicated...
     
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