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some jokes i knew

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viper, Apr 23, 2011.

  1. Viper

    Viper JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Dec 21, 2007
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    A) Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his
    friend to death. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your
    friends


    B) Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother" Santa wrote back,"
    SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

    C)What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and
    Mattress

    D) Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
    Without Information Fighting Everytime
    Wife replies," No, It means ,
    With Idiot For Ever !!!"

    E) Three Feelings:
    What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
    Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

    F) Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
    Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
    got heart attack & our driver ran away.

    G) Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
    Because people started licking the wrong side.

    H) Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
    yours??
    No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

    I) Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
    1st: How yours look like?
    2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36,
    Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
    1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

    J) Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
    Dad says, you are my son, am confident. your friend is also my son,
    that's confidential!
     
  2. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 21, 2010
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    hyo ya red imemek headline ase! daah.
     
  3. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #3
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Big "up"
     
  4. I

    Isekuu Member

    #4
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Feb 12, 2011
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    Thank you.
     
  5. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #5
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Aug 31, 2009
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    Ahahaaaah!!!
     
  6. LivingBody

    LivingBody Senior Member

    #6
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Nov 21, 2010
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    H) Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
    yours??
    No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaint


    Customer Comlaints.......
     
  7. Pota

    Pota JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 23, 2011
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    dereva anacheza gemu home ground. if u can get free milk, y keep a cow? big up suka
     
  8. Good Guy

    Good Guy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 23, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
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    haha ya Pamela Anderson bakora hiyo.
     
  9. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Nimekubali..
     
  10. boma2000

    boma2000 JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 23, 2011
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    zimetulia
     
  11. boma2000

    boma2000 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Hizi ni kali kweli kweli
     
  12. Globu

    Globu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 24, 2011
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    Kama za kweli vile.
     
  13. B

    Bingley Senior Member

    #13
    Apr 26, 2011
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    A & E zimefunika baab!
     
  14. Washawasha

    Washawasha JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 26, 2011
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    nimeipenda sana hiyo ya F
     
  15. wapalepale

    wapalepale JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 26, 2011
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    hiyo red duuuuuu thanx a lot nimecheka mpaka basi umenikumbusha mwalimu wetu mmoja mtu mzima tuliwahi kumuuliza kwa nini hana mke akatujibu, 'sio kila mnywa maziwa lazima awe na ng'ombe, unaweza kupata maziwa kutoka kwa ng'ombe hata wa jirani' daaah tukabaki midomo wazi
     
  16. s

    sugi JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 27, 2011
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    sana tu!
     
  17. Wa Nyumbani

    Wa Nyumbani JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 27, 2011
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    Yap, joke nzuri, baadhi nazifahamu na nyingine nilikuwa sizifahamu. Safi sana!
     
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