Sipendi wanaohalalisha Infidelity

Mi nadhani ifike mahali tuukubali ukweli kwamba mke/mume wa mtu ndie the first one no matter what, hata ukiwa unatoka naye ujue ana familia na ukweli ulio wazi ni kwamba kwa nyumba ndogo anachofata ni 20% na 80% ziko kwa nyumba kubwa. Na mara zote ni wachache sana wanaokubali kuacha 80% na kufata 20%. So ukiwa unatoka na mume au mke wa tu ujijue we ni mshka pembe so no need to boost. au kwa ufupi kipoozeo. Tafakari na chukua hatua.

Kama mke ndiyo first, naomba tujiulize haya yafuatayo:
1. Kwanini nyumba ndogo anunuliwe usafiri na ilihali mke hana hata bajaji?
2. Kwanini nyumba ndogo awekewe mradi na mke hana shughuli maalum ya kufanya?
3. Kwanini nyumba ndogo ajengewe nyumba na ilihali mke hana hata kiwanja?
4. Kwanini nyumba ndogo ndiyo huwa inapelekwa shopping majuu ama inaambatana Mzee kwenda trip za nje na ilihali mke hajawahi hata kufika Nairobi?

Kama ni kweli huko kwenye nyumba ndogo kuna 20%, je, hiyo asilimia 20 ina justify heavy investment/special treatment kama niliyotaja hapo juu? Kama kwa mke kuna 80%, basi mke angepewa top priority ya kufanyiwa very heavy investment na kupewa special treatment ukilinganisha na nyuma ndogo.

Najua Carmel utauliza kwanini mume hamwachi/hamtaliki mkewe? Wapo ambao wanaogopa dini zao (wakristo) kwamba kilichounganishwa na Mungu binadam hawezi kukitenganisha. Wako wanaoogopa familia zao (wazazi) so wanabaki wanavumiliana ndani ya nyumba hata kama wameishachokana. Wako ambao wanaogopa jamii iliyowazunguka, siku hizi siyo fashion tena kuoa na kuacha, lakini ku-cheat "some how iko acceptable". Kuoa na kuacha wengine wanaichukulia kama failure, lakini ku-cheat kwa siri ama kuwa na nyumba ndogo openly ni kawaida na inakubalika na hakuna mtu anaweza kushangaa.

Nyumba ndogo ikichimba biti, mzee lazima suruali ibane na yuko tayari kwenda kukopa ili amfurahishe nyumba ndogo. Lakini mke hata achimbe biti kali kiasi gani mume wala hashituki. Sasa kwanini suruali ibane wakati kuna 20% tu, na kule kwenye uzito mkubwa mume ndo hajali kabisa?

Mwisho, kuna mentality kwamba waafrika ndo tunaongoza kwa ku-cheat na kwamba wazungu wana afadhali. Ukweli ni kwamba wote ni ngoma droo. US ikifika nyakati za uchaguzi ndo utajua hata magavana na maseneta huwa wana cheat, na wengine wana cheat na wasichana wanaofanya kazi za kampeni. Ndio maana ndoa nyingi za celebs huwa hazidumu kwa kuwa paparazi saa zote wako migongoni. Kuna mtu alijua Tiger Woods alishalamba wanawake zaidi 10 akiwa kwenye ndoa yake? Mume wa Sandra Bullock anasema hata wakijitokeza 1,000,000 ni sawa tu, hoja ni kwamba ka-cheat. Hiyo pekee inaonyesha kwamba alishacheat na wengi sana. Yule Mzee wa Carolina alikuwa anafuata totoz yake Argentina, ameacha mkewe nyumbani. John Edwards kalamba dada wa Kampeni kasingizia kuwa ni gf wa msaidizi wake. Hiyo ni mifano michache tu. Cheating haina rangi wala kabila, labda ni tabia ya wanaume ama ndo asili yetu.

Kwanini wanaume wako radhi kutumia hela nyingi sana na kuingia gharama kubwa sana wanapokuwa wanaenda nje ya ndoa zao? Mwanaume akienda ku-cheat yuko tayari kulipia tiketi ya ndege, na kulala Ngurudoto Lodge, lakini akienda na mkewe wanapanda basi la kawaida na wanalala AM Investment Hotel. Kweli huko kuna 20% ama huwa kuna limbwata?
 
Infidelity is relative, tuache uzungu, tutukuze Uafrika, Mume mmoja, mke mmoja ni uzungu. Waafrika mume mmoja wake wengi, ndio maana wengi wana mke mmoja kutimizwa matakwa ya kizungu na dini zao, halafu wana vimada kadhaa.
Inapotokea kwa mke kwenda nje, hiyo ni issue nyingine kabisa ila the bottom line ni aliyenaye ama anashindwa kumtimizia, hivyo anatoka nje ili kupunguza nakisi, ama anashindwa kumtosheleza, hivyo anatoka nje ili atosheke.
Issue sio kuhalalisha, bali society inakuwa too open.


There is no justification for infidelity!!
Kuna couples jumamosi mwanamke anasema anaenda saluni, mwanaume site, haooooo. Kila mtu anaishia hotel room. Sasa kama hawatoshelezani na kila mtu kaamka na hamu yake, si ingewezekana kabisa wakapeana raha asubuhi hiyo halafu wakafanya kazi za kujenga familia na taifa? Wanaume hawawapi wake zao stahili zao, ila nyumba ndogo wanajishughulisha sana kwa bidii tena ukute umri umeenda mpaka dawa za mitishamba anakunywa! Wanawake hawakati viuno nyumbani ila wanakata mtaani. Basi ndio cheating kwa sanaaaa na hivyo discipline ya condom hamna = ukimwi na kuacha yatima
 
Kama mke ndiyo first, naomba tujiulize haya yafuatayo:
1. Kwanini nyumba ndogo anunuliwe usafiri na ilihali mke hana hata bajaji?
2. Kwanini nyumba ndogo awekewe mradi na mke hana shughuli maalum ya kufanya?
3. Kwanini nyumba ndogo ajengewe nyumba na ilihali mke hana hata kiwanja?
4. Kwanini nyumba ndogo ndiyo huwa inapelekwa shopping majuu ama inaambatana Mzee kwenda trip za nje na ilihali mke hajawahi hata kufika Nairobi?

Kama ni kweli huko kwenye nyumba ndogo kuna 20%, je, hiyo asilimia 20 ina justify heavy investment/special treatment kama niliyotaja hapo juu? Kama kwa mke kuna 80%, basi mke angepewa top priority ya kufanyiwa very heavy investment na kupewa special treatment ukilinganisha na nyuma ndogo.

Najua Carmel utauliza kwanini mume hamwachi/hamtaliki mkewe? Wapo ambao wanaogopa dini zao (wakristo) kwamba kilichounganishwa na Mungu binadam hawezi kukitenganisha. Wako wanaoogopa familia zao (wazazi) so wanabaki wanavumiliana ndani ya nyumba hata kama wameishachokana. Wako ambao wanaogopa jamii iliyowazunguka, siku hizi siyo fashion tena kuoa na kuacha, lakini ku-cheat "some how iko acceptable". Kuoa na kuacha wengine wanaichukulia kama failure, lakini ku-cheat kwa siri ama kuwa na nyumba ndogo openly ni kawaida na inakubalika na hakuna mtu anaweza kushangaa.

Nyumba ndogo ikichimba biti, mzee lazima suruali ibane na yuko tayari kwenda kukopa ili amfurahishe nyumba ndogo. Lakini mke hata achimbe biti kali kiasi gani mume wala hashituki. Sasa kwanini suruali ibane wakati kuna 20% tu, na kule kwenye uzito mkubwa mume ndo hajali kabisa?

Mwisho, kuna mentality kwamba waafrika ndo tunaongoza kwa ku-cheat na kwamba wazungu wana afadhali. Ukweli ni kwamba wote ni ngoma droo. US ikifika nyakati za uchaguzi ndo utajua hata magavana na maseneta huwa wana cheat, na wengine wana cheat na wasichana wanaofanya kazi za kampeni. Ndio maana ndoa nyingi za celebs huwa hazidumu kwa kuwa paparazi saa zote wako migongoni. Kuna mtu alijua Tiger Woods alishalamba wanawake zaidi 10 akiwa kwenye ndoa yake? Mume wa Sandra Bullock anasema hata wakijitokeza 1,000,000 ni sawa tu, hoja ni kwamba ka-cheat. Hiyo pekee inaonyesha kwamba alishacheat na wengi sana. Yule Mzee wa Carolina alikuwa anafuata totoz yake Argentina, ameacha mkewe nyumbani. John Edwards kalamba dada wa Kampeni kasingizia kuwa ni gf wa msaidizi wake. Hiyo ni mifano michache tu. Cheating haina rangi wala kabila, labda ni tabia ya wanaume ama ndo asili yetu.

Kwanini wanaume wako radhi kutumia hela nyingi sana na kuingia gharama kubwa sana wanapokuwa wanaenda nje ya ndoa zao? Mwanaume akienda ku-cheat yuko tayari kulipia tiketi ya ndege, na kulala Ngurudoto Lodge, lakini akienda na mkewe wanapanda basi la kawaida na wanalala AM Investment Hotel. Kweli huko kuna 20% ama huwa kuna limbwata?

Hizi small house huwa zinawapulizia malibwata ,wanakula konokono,simba nyoka kila kitu..
mapenzi kazi
 
Infidelity ipo na itaendelea kuwepo. Infidelity kwa wanaume husababishwa na urge ya kufanya ngono ambayo hairidhishwi kirahisi. Kadri unavyofanya zaidi ndivyo unavyotaka zaidi ....... Kwa wanawake mara nyingi ni jinsi ya kujaza psychological void inayokuwa created kwa sababu mbali mbali. Sababu si moja. As long as hizi sababu zinaendelea kuwepo, infidelity itaendelea kuwepo, pamoja na devastating consequences zake vile vile.

Infidelity ya wanawake ni more devastating kwa sababu inaotoka akilini. Mwanamke hawezi kujificha kwani akili yake ikishaelekea kwingine basi tena.... Hakuna cha eti mme hamridhishi au vipi. Hivi mara nyingi ni visingizio tu. Mwanamke akishamkubali mtu, hahitaji mambo mengi kama wengi wanavyofikiria. Mwanamke akishakuchukia hata uwe mtaalam na bingwa vipi, huwezi kumridhisha kwani akili yake hatampa. Hata ukae siku nzima kwenye foreplay, it wont work.

Kwa mwanaume, ngono ni physical na anaweza kuwa na mapartners wengi wa ngono hata kama hawapendi wote au anampenda mmoja kati yao. Kwa mwanaume, ngono is everything and it ends when the act is completed.

Sasa ukiangalia huu mtazamo wa ngono ulivyo tofauti kwa mwanaume na mwanamke, usishangae kwa nini kuwe na infidelity. Hata kule wanakopigwa mawe bado wanafanya tuu. Inaonekana sababu ziko nje ya uwezo wa tamaduni au dini.

Suala ni tufanye nini in the face of this knowledge? Watu wanaoana kwa mbwembwe na matarumbeta kumbe wengine usiku ule kabla ya ndoa amelala kwa mwanaume/mwanamke mwingine. Tayali infidelity imeshakuwa foundation ya relationship kama hizi.

Pengine tuikubali infidelity kama sehemu ya ukweli wa maisha ya binadam na tuukubali kuepusha maumivu.
 
Kama mke ndiyo first, naomba tujiulize haya yafuatayo:
1. Kwanini nyumba ndogo anunuliwe usafiri na ilihali mke hana hata bajaji?
2. Kwanini nyumba ndogo awekewe mradi na mke hana shughuli maalum ya kufanya?
3. Kwanini nyumba ndogo ajengewe nyumba na ilihali mke hana hata kiwanja?
4. Kwanini nyumba ndogo ndiyo huwa inapelekwa shopping majuu ama inaambatana Mzee kwenda trip za nje na ilihali mke hajawahi hata kufika Nairobi?

Kama ni kweli huko kwenye nyumba ndogo kuna 20%, je, hiyo asilimia 20 ina justify heavy investment/special treatment kama niliyotaja hapo juu? Kama kwa mke kuna 80%, basi mke angepewa top priority ya kufanyiwa very heavy investment na kupewa special treatment ukilinganisha na nyuma ndogo.


Kuna sababu nyingi. Mojawapo wanapewa mitishamba, wanalishwa nywele za "kila mahali"...nk nk
 
Kweli siipendi lakini my problem is my other half forced me to cheat with Booze, hayuko user friendly kabisaaaa. You are coming from work she just give you a third degree look na pole kwa kazi,then she is busy with whatsoever she was doing which is always watching Kanumba like movies. When she is lovely is when she need something, that is too much it is better from work bar then around 2100 hrs heading home chat with kids for half an hour then to sleep.
 
Kweli siipendi lakini my problem is my other half forced me to cheat with Booze, hayuko user friendly kabisaaaa. You are coming from work she just give you a third degree look na pole kwa kazi,then she is busy with whatsoever she was doing which is always watching Kanumba like movies. When she is lovely is when she need something, that is too much it is better from work bar then around 2100 hrs heading home chat with kids for half an hour then to sleep.


hizi ndoa jamani, mie nimeshajichokea.
 
There is no justification for infidelity!!
Kuna couples jumamosi mwanamke anasema anaenda saluni, mwanaume site, haooooo. Kila mtu anaishia hotel room. Sasa kama hawatoshelezani na kila mtu kaamka na hamu yake, si ingewezekana kabisa wakapeana raha asubuhi hiyo halafu wakafanya kazi za kujenga familia na taifa? Wanaume hawawapi wake zao stahili zao, ila nyumba ndogo wanajishughulisha sana kwa bidii tena ukute umri umeenda mpaka dawa za mitishamba anakunywa! Wanawake hawakati viuno nyumbani ila wanakata mtaani. Basi ndio cheating kwa sanaaaa na hivyo discipline ya condom hamna = ukimwi na kuacha yatima

Umenifungua akili:

With immediate effect, the salon thing is strictly prohibited to my darling wife!!!!! Aidha nimsuke mwenyewe au nimnyoe upara kudadadeki.
Halafu ukute saluni yenyewe ya wakongo. Au msusi mwenyewe mmasai mwenye mtarimbo kama mguu wa mwanangu matesha. LOL!
 
Kweli siipendi lakini my problem is my other half forced me to cheat with Booze, hayuko user friendly kabisaaaa. You are coming from work she just give you a third degree look na pole kwa kazi,then she is busy with whatsoever she was doing which is always watching Kanumba like movies. When she is lovely is when she need something, that is too much it is better from work bar then around 2100 hrs heading home chat with kids for half an hour then to sleep.



Na wewe pia ukifika mpe first class look, kiss her, joke around, halafu mpe pole kwa kazi. Kukaa nyumbani pia ni kazi. Angalia naye Kanumba stuff halafu mtaangalia football game, lazima atakupa company. Wewe sema naota ila huo ndio ukweli. It works bro. Wewe ndiyo sababu ya yeye kukupa third class treatment, maana unataka kuwa mfalme bila kumfanya yeye malkia! Subiri atakapotafuta mbadala wako kama wewe ulivyochagua Bar.
 
Umenifungua akili:

With immediate effect, the salon thing is strictly prohibited to my darling wife!!!!! Aidha nimsuke mwenyewe au nimnyoe upara kudadadeki.
Halafu ukute saluni yenyewe ya wakongo. Au msusi mwenyewe mmasai mwenye mtarimbo kama mguu wa mwanangu matesha. LOL!


Umenichekesha babangu paleee. Nasikia wakongo wana extra services, massage za hapa na pale kama za kichwa wakati wanaosha nywele. wakitengeneza kucha za miguu wanawapa masaji ya miguu na hii haina mpaka, full kujiachia mpaka juu ya magoti. Uliza nakwambia ila sina maana ya kuleta uchonganishi. Ndio maana utasikia - ile ndio saluni yangu, nimeizoea.
 
vp mbona unataka kunitoa kwa lazima? najidanganya na nini...cjasema imeyumba jamani..ndio mana nabanana nae mpaka kieleweke, umenipata?....
Leo sijavaa mawani yangu. Hivi ni lini Chrispin na nyamayao wakaimba wimbo mmoja?

Hahahahaha!
 
Umenichekesha babangu paleee. Nasikia wakongo wana extra services, massage za hapa na pale kama za kichwa wakati wanaosha nywele. wakitengeneza kucha za miguu wanawapa masaji ya miguu na hii haina mpaka, full kujiachia mpaka juu ya magoti. Uliza nakwambia ila sina maana ya kuleta uchonganishi. Ndio maana utasikia - ile ndio saluni yangu, nimeizoea.
Tatizo unacheka sana halafu kale kabatani hukaoni.

Aisee umenipa habari kubwa. Leo ntapitia Kkoo kununua mkasi wa kichina. Nywele za MM leo mwisho!!
 
Carmel,
Umeongea/andika kwa hisia kali sana, kuna usalama?
Usalama upo tena wa kutosha Keil. Basi tu nimechoshwa na watu kuja hapa kuomba ushauri wa kutembea na waume/wake za watu, na wengine kuja hapa kuboost jinsi wanavyoiba waume za watu, inaudhi. Kwangu shwari kabisa sina hata chembe ya wasiwasi so far.
 
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