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Safiri na Air Tanzania... nia... nia...nia...!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by X-PASTER, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #1
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    Good morning, Ledis and Gentolomen. zis is your
    captain FUTAKAMBA.

    Onbehafu of Air Tanzania Ltd, I'm welcoming bos seated and standing passengers on board of Air Tanzania Boeing 737.

    We apologaizi for ze six-hour delay in taking off, it was due to bed weather and some bed traffiking from Ilala to ze Airport.

    Dala Dala's are all full in the moning hours and traffiking not moving.

    This is flight 712 From Dar es Salaam to Mwanza. Landing there is not guaranteed, and if not...
    but we will end up somewhere in the Lake Zone. And, if luck is
    in our favor, we may even be landing on your own village!

    Air Tanzania has an excellent safety-ricord. In fact, our safety standards
    are so highest, that even pick-pockets, snatchers and bandits are afraid to fly
    with us!

    It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our passengers have reached their destination without problems.

    If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

    To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary KONYAGI and Our favorite local brew MNAZI, you can also get
    GONGO or DENGERUWA if you promise not to drink more than half a bottle.

    For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a Godi!

    We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as
    we could not record it from the ITV due to UEFA Champions League live
    broadcasting. However, we have bought 10 copies of SANI Magazines and 12
    copies of KASHESHE to supplement the movie.

    There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke U see in the cabin
    is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down or
    our stewards might be frying MANDAZIS for the cockpit crews including
    myself

    In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible
    for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our
    enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
    Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and
    fasten your seat belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly
    fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who
    can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who
    will explain how to fasten yourself on the overhead lockers."

    "Thanking you all for choosing Air-Tanzania to fly for the first and
    probably the last time."
     
  2. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Nov 22, 2007
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    mkulu

    naona bado una machungu nao ya kuwaweka AIRPORT mahujaji sasa mbona waliotenda wanazidi kula kkuku!!!piga aya vizuri
     
  3. edwinito

    edwinito Senior Member

    #3
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Dec 3, 2008
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    tehe....tehe...tehe.....teheeeeee.........!!!!
     
  4. Msanii

    Msanii JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Jul 4, 2007
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    kaaaazi kweli kweli.
    teh teh teh
     
  5. Kinyau

    Kinyau JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Nov 24, 2006
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    ohhh i loved this one!!!!
     
  6. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #6
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    Mmmh..! chai imechanganywa na chumvi, sukari, mayonnaise na mrenda..!
     
  7. senator

    senator JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 24, 2009
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    Walahi wakiiona hii hao wadau wa Any Time Cancellation(ATC) watakutafuta kwa kuwaharibia masoko yao! hahaha!
     
  8. Ng'azagala

    Ng'azagala JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Jun 7, 2008
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    tehetehe
    hii nzuri sana. kwa kiasi fulani inaonyesha tusivyo serious kwenye mambo mengi. uzembe na kutojali abiria hasa kwenye mabasi na teksi
     
  9. Mahesabu

    Mahesabu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Jan 27, 2008
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    ama kweli akumulikaye mchana usiku hukuchoma....! wewe EKSI PASTA umeamua kwa nguvu za PRESISHENI EA ET AL....! uanze kuzandiki na kulihujumu shirika husika?
    JK RUDISHA JKT TULETE NIDHAMU KWA VITU VYA NCHI YETU...!
    (na si kwa wale wanaolididimiza, and you might find that this is an ATC crew)!!!!!!
     
  10. Mahesabu

    Mahesabu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 24, 2009
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    Kuna watu sijui wametumwa????
     
  11. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
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    Amechukua toka kwa joke ya Nigerian Airways aka Nigerian Airwaste, joke ya mvua kibao zilizopita.
     
  12. Mahesabu

    Mahesabu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 24, 2009
    Joined: Jan 27, 2008
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    Manake nlishaona huyu hawezi kuwa mtz....!
     
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