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Rules To Help You Cheat On Your Spouse....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MasterMind, Sep 17, 2010.

  1. MasterMind

    MasterMind Senior Member

    #1
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Rules To Help You Cheat On Your Spouse

    Cheating brings back that energetic spark in ones life. Cheating is
    inevitable. To cheat is human not to be caught is divine. Here are a
    few rules to help you as you cheat.


    0. Never ignore your spouse's call when you are out with your lover,
    much more, never switch it off or cut the line when she calls you.


    1. Always let your lover know about your marital status. If you hide
    your status, your lover might surprise you at a very awkward time.


    2. Never promise marriage to your lovers. You can only do so when your
    spouse passes on.


    3. Avoid falling in love with your lovers (this is hard). If you
    notice that you are falling in love get another lover. If you do fall
    in love with your lover your spouse will know very fast because it
    will to show.


    4. Be sweet to your spouse when you are cheating. If your spouse
    demands something, give it to them without being irritated even if it
    means getting them the moon. Check Nakumatt or Duty Free Shop at UNON
    or Village Market as they may just be having a promotion for those who
    want to get the moon for their spouses .


    5. Avoid keeping contact details of your lovers anywhere near home.
    Phone numbers in diaries or email addresses on receipts is a no no. If
    you have business cards use these instead and keep them at the office.


    6. Never switch off your phone or be protective of it when at home. If
    a call or an sms comes let your spouse answer the phone for you. You
    have to tell your lovers not to call you when you are at home. Try to
    use the company phone for those important calls.


    7. Never raise your spouses suspicion. If you say you are going to see
    a friend that the spouse knows make sure you see the friend first and
    then proceed to see your lover then return to your friends house, if
    it is the bar return to the bar. If you lie about being in a certain
    place and you are not there when a follow up is made then you are
    screwed.


    8. Never let your spouse know all your sources of income. Always
    maintain a secret account, A sort of CIA operations Account. You need
    it to finance you covert operations.


    9. If you are going to be in a public place always go with a wingman
    (or merchie) who is not married.


    10. The only time you ever admit cheating is when you are caught red
    handed. All other allegations 'kufa na no', whether you have cum on
    your slacks, lipstick on the collar or a used cartridge in the jacket
    or in the car.


    11. Always destroy incriminating evidence before going home. This
    might include erasing (some) call records, going to the gym to sweat
    off the sweet perfume. If you drink always rinse off you privates with
    a beer (preferably the smelliest drink you can find) if you going home
    drunk. You might just black out in the matrimonial bed smelling of
    cheap Condoms from Nakumatt (its unmistakable). Remember to always
    have perfume or deodorant in your car or office make sure it is the
    same fragrance as the one you regularly use.


    12. Whatever you do never neglect your spouse. if you need to buy your
    lover a RAV4 make sure you get your wife a better SUV such as Honda or
    anything better than what you get your lover.


    13. Never slacken your game in bed (remember a good Whiskey such as
    Gleinfidic Single Malt or Gold Label helps). Even if you are from
    having a sex festival with your lover, always do a repeat performance
    at home. You might need to act a little to pull it off though.




    Good luck and, you didn’t hear it from me…........
     
  2. Smiles

    Smiles JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Etiii.....?
     
  3. Beauty

    Beauty JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 17, 2010
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    OMG tutafika kweli? tunashukluru kwa techiniques za kuongeza kasi na maambukizo ya UKIMWI na mmomonyoko wa maadili.
     
  4. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Ndugu mtoa sredi.....! Ahsante sana na kamata hiyo hapo chini!! Nimeikopi na kuipesti kwenye kumbukumbu zangu muhimu. Nna mpango wa kuifanya iwe screen saver yangu ili nipate kuikariri vizuri




    The Following User Says Thank You to MasterMind For This Useful Post:

    Asprin (Today)
     
  5. MasterMind

    MasterMind Senior Member

    #5
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    :becky::becky::becky:
     
  6. MasterMind

    MasterMind Senior Member

    #6
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    Karibu sana mkuu.....:smile-big:
     
  7. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Ohhh......! Just thanks for your exposure....! I must print this so that I can work on it against my spouse...! However, not to apply in cheating, but it could help me to make a follow up on my spouse whether I am being cheated on....!
     
  8. TzPride

    TzPride JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Hatari!
     
  9. Smiles

    Smiles JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 17, 2010
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    heheheh......
    hizi ni weapons of mass destruction!! beware....
     
  10. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Jamani jamani !:confused2:
     
  11. M

    Matarese JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 17, 2010
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    maumivu ya kichwa huanza pole pole.......
     
  12. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

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  13. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 17, 2010
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    Kwani unapenda kujua FL1?? You don know, its doesn't exist.
     
  14. chloe.obrain

    chloe.obrain JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Sep 17, 2010
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    OMG!!!! guys, are you serious????? haya endeleeni kucheat ila na nyie mtakuwa cheated tu.:eyeroll2:
     
  15. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

    #15
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    Genius...absolutely!!!!:becky:
     
  16. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 17, 2010
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    No comment wapi wapwaz, Fidel80, Asprin, Teamo, Kaizer, Bacha, Mkeshahoi
     
  17. kijoti

    kijoti Member

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    Sep 17, 2010
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    ~ hiyo yako kaliiiii, it applies kwa jinsia zote si wanaume wenyewe


    If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.
     
  18. M

    MINOR THREAT Member

    #18
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Yaaani Jameni.. Siwezi kuamini vile nasoma..nyinyi mnapenda kucheat baada ya ku funga ndoa? Kucheat Haiji.. because sasa, kuna emotions involved.. Mke wako anakupenda na ako nyumbani, ka-kungojea na wewe unamdanganya, upo ofisini? Mnaweza kufanya hivyo bila kuskia mbaya? And I bet ungemkamata anayecheat on you, ungekasirika sana? Kwanini hizo double standards??

    Naamini, mungekuwa single and mingling, mneza fanya chochote munachotaka lakini after marriage, ni wakati wa kukuwa serias..msidarau ndoa
     
  19. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

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  20. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 17, 2010
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    Mbona umejisahau? Kuna wanawake tena wengi tu, wanacheat kama hawana akili vile wakati waume zao wanawasubiri nyumbani.

    Hii kitu inayoitwa cheating ni kuiacha tu. Unaweza kuwa chizi, ukavua nguo barabarani ukianza kufikiria sana. Cha muhimu ni kujiamini mwenyewe. Kama unacheat basi play safe, na kama haucheat basi umshukuru Mungu na kusubiri busu la Mother Theresa! Very very complex and crazy!
     
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