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RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Freetown, Feb 25, 2009.

  1. Freetown

    Freetown JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 25, 2009
    Joined: Apr 6, 2008
    Messages: 888
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    Dear Employees,

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme
    to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination) .
    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).
    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired
    Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management
    has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring
    to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

    Sincerely,
    The HR Management
     
  2. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 26, 2009
    Joined: Oct 31, 2007
    Messages: 374
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    Teh! teh tehe ee
     
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