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Raha ya Ubazazi/Cheating!... (?)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Jun 20, 2008.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 20, 2008
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    ...Hivi, kwa ufahamu wako,

    ...nini ushawishi unaomkumba mtu mpaka unampelekea kuisaliti ndoa yake/mpenzi wake? Je, ni ule 'utamu' wa kuibia?, au ni kutafuta'faraja' kwa kujiliwaza?

    je, Inawezekana ubazazi/cheating ni sababu ya kutokutosheka, au 'kukinai' unachokipata?

    Je, Inawezekana wale 'wasobahatika' ubazazi/kucheat ni sababu tu ya kukosa 'opportunity'?

    Ishara gani utazogundua za m'bazazi/Cheater?

    :D

    Wikiendi njema!
     
  2. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 21, 2008
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    with un married couples .. this is just exploitation .. and adventure ... no strings attached so people take it as a license to ... be wild .. know all corners and have fun .. sometimes insecurities as well maana anaona nikijifunga kwa huyu he may not want to marry me in future .. so he gets a shock absorber to balance the equation.

    In marriage cases ...this is sometimes a habbit carried out from ujana ... amezoea for men ...ama also mapungufu kwa mwenza ..... otherwise for us women ... its not really an easy step to take ... kumsaliti mwenza ... chances are very few . maana sisi wanawake tunamapenzi ya dhati ... causes mostly inaanza kwa mwanaume akianza kutomjali mkewe ... upungufu mostly kwenye love making ... with stress na majukumu wanawake wengi huchelewa to attain satisfaction sexually so a man has to have time to make sure they reach the peak pamoja ... lakini most men after they are finished first ... they are off snoring ... unamuacha mwenziyo na ham .. not once or twice but many many times .... what will she do ... ofcourse look for an outlet

    There are others who suspect their spouses for same so naye anaamua kulipiza by looking for some one ... tunawatu wa different calibres and we have different needs ... think there is no limitation to this
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 21, 2008
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    ...Inasikitisha, kwanini couples/spouses inawawia vigumu kujadiliana kuhusu sexual satisfaction kwenye relationship yao, mpaka inapelekea huo ububu mtu anaamua 'kwenda nje'?

     
  4. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 22, 2008
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    ...i like this quote;

    ...kuna uwezekano vile vile mwanamke kuchangia hili. Kuna wale wanaopenda ku fake orgasm!, matokeo yake ndio hayo!!! ...unaachwa 'njiani' wakati mwenzako keshapata 'nusu kaputi'!

    Kuna ubaya gani mwanamke kuwa mkweli na kumweleza mumeo/mpenzi wako 'hutosheki!?'
     
  5. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 23, 2008
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    Inawezekana mama ni cylinder sita na wewe kitovu kilidondokea ikulu itakuwaje na hukujua kuwa mama ni cylinder sita,au kinyume chake? Hapa mmoja lazima atafute faraja nje.
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 23, 2008
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    ...kabisaa...
     
  7. J

    Jobo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 23, 2008
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    Hivi kwanini wanawake siku zote wanadai kuwa wao ni waaminifu sana katika ndoa! Kama wangekuwa waaminifu kihivyo, mbona tunasikia kila siku huyu mama kazaa na fulani, mara huyu anatembea na huyu. Isitoshe si mara nyingi utamtongoza mwanamke wa mtu akatae hasa kama yuko mbali na mme wake eg. kwenye semina au mikutano! So uaminifu ni suala la mtu binafsi siyo gender!
     
  8. Bonnie1974

    Bonnie1974 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 23, 2008
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    Ubazazi katika maisha ya ndoa unasababishwa na mbinyo wa maisha vilevile.
    Pale mmoja kati ya couples mfano anaporudi amechoka au amesafiri kwa muda mrefu au kipato kinachopatikana katika familia hakikidhi mahitaji.
    Ubazazi utachukua nafasi kufidia hayo mapungufu.
    Kudharauliana katika ndoa hususani pale yanapotokea mapungufu katika mahitaji ya familia, kufikia mwanaume anapotea sifa ya kuwa mwanaume kwa kuitwa MWANAUME SURUALI is another factor.
    Mahusiano mengi ya muda mrefu yanasifa hiyo ya ubazazi.
     
  9. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 23, 2008
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    seems i scared the hell out of you two ... guys there's alot involved in love making .... seems you guys only know how to use the vitovus ... kwi kwi kwaaa
     
  10. zombi

    zombi Member

    #10
    Jun 23, 2008
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    jamii imeoza tu,wanaume waliooa ndio wanaoongoza kwa kuwa na wanawake wengi,ETI kupata different tastes,hakuna mwanamke rahisi kutongoza kama mwanamke wa mtu,,halafu wadada pia wanajisikia ni washindi wakipindua kasri za wenziwao,na vijana wa kiume wanasema mke wa mtu ndio mtamu halafu gharama inapungua ni venue tu ,tena wakati mwingine analipia mwenyewe.najua wahusika watabisha tu, ila huu ndio ukweli wenyewe.marriage kwa watu wa kisasa ni kubadilisha status tu,ikichukuliwa pia jamii inaona mtu ambaye yuko kwenye marriage ndio ambaye anonekana yupo responsible na kwa mwanamke ndio anaonekana ametulia. halafu ndoa za siku hizi,watu wanaoana kwa ajili ya obligation,eti ana mimba yangu bwana na hatuwezi kuitoa inabidi nimuoe tu hamna jinsi,unategemea nini baada ya mtoto kuzaliwa?Hivyo watu wanaoana ili kulea watoto waliowapata kwa 'BAHATI MBAYA',KUCHEAT KWA MPANGILIO HUU HAKUWEZI KUISHA.
     
  11. K

    Kishazi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 23, 2008
    Joined: Nov 14, 2007
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    Duuuuhh, other madongo's are not good..!! Let's don't hear the fights..!! Hahahahaaa..!! But, do you think it's just the poor use of vitovus or it's the matter of attitude. I believe on the other JF member's statement regarding fake orgasm by most women..!! This is another problem..!! And as you know Naima..!!! When a you women reach orgasm, the voices and mmmmm......!! obviously will make a man to ............!!! Therefore, such fake orgasm in some cases make their men to think that, they have satisfied their wives while it's not that way..!!

    Therefore, we should not blame one gender only (i.e. men). Previously, miaka ya 1930's, you could blame men only as it was difficult for a woman to approach a man. But nowadays, my dear Naima, women are courageous (amazing), in some cases even more than men..!! And as you knw, women do not use just words, sometimes if they get a golden chance (i.e. of being in a room with man), oooooooopsss....!! Mambo yaleeeee ya kanga upande mmoja na mitego ya kufa mtu plus maneno yaliombatana na macho yenye ujasiri wa kile wanachokifanya..!!
     
  12. K

    Kishazi JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 23, 2008
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    Ni kweli kabisa. Tena wanaume wengi wanapenda wanawake walioolewa kwa sababu ya gharama. Niliwahi kuongea na ndugu mmoja ambaye naye hayuko nyuma katika kuharibu ndoa za watu. Alichoniambia ni kuwa, mke wa mtu hata siku moja hutegemei kusikia akidai kujengewa nyumba au kununuliwa gari. Manake hataweza kuli-present kwa mumewe unless jamaa kashikiliwa vilivyo au bibie anafanya kazi kwenye kampuni nene (mambo fulani ya EPA).

    Ukweli ni kuwa jamii imechafuka. Na shetani anatumia damu nyingi sana kuturubuni. Hivyo ni kuwa makini sana, la sivyo huu Ukimwi utaua mpaka mbu kwa jinsi kila damu itakavyokuwa imechafuka. Wanawake wanaolewa kwa gharama kubwaa sana, lakini mara baada tu ya "mwezi wa asali" (honeymoon) watu shaaaaa, wanawahi upande wa uswazi kujinyakulia vibrazameni. Na kibaya zaidi wanawake wa siku hizi wana-entertain hayo mambo. Utakuta mtu ni mke wa mtu, ila kazi kujiweka karibu na vivulana, akiulizwa, jibu ni kuwa "huyu ni mshikaji tu au office mate au school mate". Ni kweli ni office mate au mshikaji, but mazoea mengine huwa yanazidi. Unajua zamani ilikuwa sio risky sana kwa mama zetu kusalimiana na wanaume, ila siku hizi, mwanamke akisalimiwa tu na mwanaume, macho yakishagongana, hapo akipona mtu basi ni hofu ya Mungu iko moyoni mwake.

    Ila nisiwaponde sana wanawake, hata sisi wanaume tuna mapungufu yetu. Tena makubwa sana. Siku hizi wanaume nao wanaongoza kwa kutokea wake za watu. Yaani mtu anamuona mtu yuko na mkewe but bado atajisogeza sogeza na kuomba "contacts". Siku hizi kuna kamsemo cha "business cards". Yaani haka ukijumlisha na uwepo ya email plus cell phones, yaani unapata "usaliti" moja kwa moja.

    Tuwe macho, tutakufa kabla ya time..!!
     
  13. Sanda Matuta

    Sanda Matuta JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 23, 2008
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    Hamna lolote hapa,
    Nadhani ni kujariibu tu.kujipa mayo kwa kutafuta jibu rahisi ili kurahisisha ubazazi wetu i mean kuupa ubazazi bressing eti kwa sababu vitovu vimeangukia mahara.
    Matendo yako sikuzote yanaonyesha jinsi gani unafikiri but any ways do not get me wrong here we are not on IQ test.
    So you can as well do what you pleases since mambo ya ngono ni yakisaikologia zaidi maana ya kushindwa au kuweza kufanya auku-abstain.
    By the way i know jamaa mmoja HANITHI (kitovu kimeangukia) ambaye kabla hajafa ali-instist on weeding girl though mambo sio safi and nawajua jamaa wengi ambo ni safi na wame-oa likini wenzao wanawatembelea (kufanyana nao) ndio maaana nikasema mambo hayo niya saikologia zaidi.
    naka if you will tell you brains that you don't want to bazazi around then 100% you wont and then if you wont then the answer is Yes,yes you will keep finding VITOVU vya kuvibebesha lawama kwamb they are not good in bed.
     
  14. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 23, 2008
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    my above quotes were for Malila and Mchongoma .... please read their posts first then we can rhyme ...
     
  15. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 23, 2008
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    Mimi nadhani kila mtu ana sababu yake binafsi,

    Kuna baadhi nadhani ni udhaifu binafisi unaotokana na kutokuwa apreciated na mwenzi, basi hutafuta mtu atakayemuona mzuri au rijali, manake nyumbani anaonekana wa kawaida tu.

    Wengine labda wanatamani exitements ambazo zimeadimika nyumbani,
    wengine basi tu wahaoni kwanini wajichoshe na mlo mmoja kla siku wakati mahoteli kibao na kila dizaini zipo.
    Wengine wanarubuniwa kwa nguvu zote na vi-loose mtaani. Yani hawakuachi mpaka wakupate.

    Sababu ziko nyingi sana ila kinga ni moja tu 'strenght of character' basi. hakuna kanisa, msikiti wala mzazi wala mke au mume atakekusaidia hapo ni kujiamulia biafsi tu.
     
  16. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 23, 2008
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    Tumejadiliana sana kuhusu ubazazi na points nyingi zimesemwa, tunachosahau ni hiki,sababu iliyomfanya mr & mrs k kwenda nje haiwezi kufanana na mr & mrs L, wengine walioana kwa bahati mbaya,wengine maumbile ni tatizo,wengine uchumi ni tatizo,wengine ni hulka yao kubadilisha mboga;

    Sababu haiwezi kuwa moja kwa watu wote.
     
  17. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 24, 2008
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    ...naimaomari, mwenzako ni kweli 'kaujuzi kanan'tosha mwenyewe!'... :D

    hivi inawezekana kumpata mke/mume aliyekamilika kila kitu, au kipenda roho tu? maana ninayasikia sana siku hizi hayo mambo ya 'mafiga matatu!'

    ...
     
  18. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 24, 2008
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    ...Zombi! huu ukweli uliouzungumza hapa umeniuma kweli aisee

    Kweli tupu, kwa mifano sahihi nilokutana nayo!

    I wish it was otherwise, :(..!!!
     
  19. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 24, 2008
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    ...Haika huo ndio ukweli wenywe haswa!... Kujiamulia nafsi, au kwa lugha nyingine, kuyashinda matamanio au sio?...

    Safi sana.
     
  20. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 24, 2008
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    ...Malila, sikubaliani nawe! ...Sababu ni moja, kukosa nidhamu ya mwili wako!

    Haika ametoa pointi nzuri sana, it is all about strength of character! kama huwezi kujizuia nafsi yako, na ikakupelekea kuzini nje ya ndoa, jijue wewe ni mdhaifu, hufai katika jamii wala kuwa na mumeo/mkeo, wewe ni muharibifu, unajidhalilisha mwili wako na ndoa yako. Hata ukijitetea na sababu zooote utazotaja/zilizotajwa kwenye post mbali mbali humu, wewe umeangamia tu! Hufai!

    Aliyethabiti ni yule ambaye anamudu kujizuia nafsi yake kutenda 'kosa' kama hilo hata akipatwa na ushawishi wa namna gani, kwani madhara yake ni makubwa sana, hata kama hayatakuwa ya hapo kwa papo. mfano; dharau, kudhalilika, kujitukanisha, maradhi, mimba zisotarajiwa, wivu, hata vifo nk...

    Katika dini ya Uislamu unaaambiwa , 'pale unapovua nguo yako tayari kuzini, unakuwa unauvua uislamu wako pia!', pia hakuna dini yeyote iliyoacha kukemea vikazli uzinifu hasa na mke/mume wa mtu!

    Nahitimisha kwa kusema, raha ya ubazazi ni ya muda mfupi tu kulinganisha na hasara zake, Only the strength of character can save you from this! Kwasasa tunashuhudia mmomonyoko wa maadili kwa kasi kubwa ndio maana baadhi ya wake za watu wanajisifu kuwa na serengeti boys, na waume wanaadhirika na machangudoa, ma 'miss vitongoji' na hata housemaids... almuradi kuhalalisha ngono kwa vijisababu vya kijinga.

    Kwanini kuna mmomonjyoko wa maadili?, thats another issue.
     
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