Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Qn: Why do women stay married to cheating husbands?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kimbweka, Jan 5, 2012.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    Is it because of Desperation, Stupidity,No self confidence,Money, Fear or otherwise financial repercussions on their children and religious conviction to stay married?

    .........................?????.......
     
  2. Black Rose

    Black Rose JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Nov 21, 2011
    Messages: 243
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    It could be bcoz of some of the above reasons or none at all! You forgot one important reason which is "bcoz most if not all men are cheaters"! there is no point leaving your current hubby who is a small time cheater only to fall in the arms of a worse cheater of all times!
     
  3. grey

    grey Senior Member

    #3
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 21, 2010
    Messages: 159
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    women are wonderful, they believe that one day the husband will change for better.
     
  4. wilbald

    wilbald JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Dec 17, 2007
    Messages: 576
    Likes Received: 18
    Trophy Points: 35
    they total loose marriage comfidence.
     
  5. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Aug 18, 2011
    Messages: 6,788
    Likes Received: 333
    Trophy Points: 180
    hahahaha its coz most men will cheat sasa hukiondoka utaolewa mara ngapi...basi bora watulie kuliko kuongeza mileage.....
     
  6. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Messages: 2,986
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0
    If she leaves him, will she remain single.
     
  7. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Oct 18, 2008
    Messages: 16,275
    Likes Received: 115
    Trophy Points: 160
    Wakati mwingine hata hawajui au wanahisi tu, kwa sababu baadhi ya wanaume wanacheat responsively!!

    Pia inawezekana nao pia wanacheat.....So, ngoma droo!!

    Na katika mazungira hayo kwa nini waondoke??
     
  8. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Oct 18, 2008
    Messages: 16,275
    Likes Received: 115
    Trophy Points: 160
    Hapo umeiweka vizuri,

    Bila kumpigia debe yeyote, naamini kuna asilimia kama 1% au 2% hivi ya wanaume ambao hawacheat, hawajawahi na wala hawatakaa wafanye hicho kitu hadi kufa!!

    Hata hivyo ni vigumu sana aisee (kwani wengine wanacheat hata kwa mawazo tu)!!!!

    Babu DC!!
     
  9. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    This can be one of the major reason....
    Nimeipenda hii, are we ,Men gonna change sometime eeeh.....???:nerd:
     
  10. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    Yah it can be very true kwamba hao wanawake wanaovumilia wanaume cheaters na wao pia wana cheat....it makes sense!!!!
     
  11. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
    Messages: 7,289
    Likes Received: 25
    Trophy Points: 145
    This explains it at large.
     
  12. LE GAGNANT

    LE GAGNANT JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jan 20, 2011
    Messages: 1,242
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 135
    tit for tat
     
  13. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #13
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
    Messages: 16,200
    Likes Received: 156
    Trophy Points: 160

    Wonderful words from a wonderful Point of view....
     
  14. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Sep 26, 2011
    Messages: 5,226
    Likes Received: 7
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ubarikiwe sn kwa jibu lako,ni bora kichaa uliemzoea.......!
     
  15. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #15
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
    Messages: 16,200
    Likes Received: 156
    Trophy Points: 160
    Yaani watu hua wachukulia kuelezea cheating as if it is that simple... Kwanza hili suala lahitaji mtu ambae yupo/alikuwepo katika ndoa kuliongelea hasa kama yupo so convinced that you can avoid it at all cost!

    Black Rose you hit the Mark na too bad si mda mrefu I gave you a reputation na imenigomea.
     
  16. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Mar 21, 2011
    Messages: 36,152
    Likes Received: 177
    Trophy Points: 145
    Usikonklude kuwa wanaobaki kwenye ndoa na wenza sio waaminifu ni desparate, stupid or whatever

    Makuzi yako yana-affect sana attitude na interpretation
    Kwako wewe cheating ni unforgivable
    Kwa mwingine ni tofauti, mfano mmasai mtu na kaka wanashea mke, na wanaruhusu kuoa wanawake zaidi ya mmoja.
    Mwanamke aliyekulia mazingira hayo hata kama kiuchumi na elimu yuko fit kiasi gani
    Mwanamme kuchieat sio sababu tosha ya kumuacha

    Kwa kifupi, yunaingia kwenye ndoa kwa mitazamo tofauti na priorities tofauti

    Kingine wanamme wanacheat si kwamba hawapendi wake zao la hasha wanawapenda sana
    Wanacheat kama kula karanga wakati unasubiri chakula cha usiku
    Hawezi lala bila kula cha usiku, ila na akikosa karanga hajali
    Ila akizipata kwa nini asile?

     
  17. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    Angalia na huyu nae unajikurupukia tu na kuanza kuangusha lawama...Inaelekea unafikiria kwa ufinyu sana na unaanza tu kulalama ilimradi uonekane umechangie tuuu.
    Hapo kilichoandikwa si hitimisho kwamba ni hayo ndio sababu... Nimeandika kama swali, na swali lina majibu mengi.. Sasa wewe unajikurupukia kuanza kulaumu kwamba kuna kudhalilishwa.. wapi mtu kadhalilishwa, Fikiri na fahamu sentensi imeandikwa vipi na kwa kutumia alama zipi ndipo uanze kuchangia siyo unajikurupukia tuuuuu
    Ndiyo nyie mnaonza kujibu maswali ya mitiahani bila ya kusoma instructions kwanza.....
     
  18. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    Katika kuperuzi nemekutana na hii hapa Embu tuisome halafu tuendelee kuijadili , its very interesting, ni moja ya mambo ambayo yamekuwa watu wakijiuliza sana...

    [h=1]Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands[/h]

    We see her on the news, in the flash of cameras, a well-dressed attractive, women standing beside her husband as he addresses the media. With sad, haunted eyes, she hears her husband state that he has been unfaithful to her. Even as we watch in curiosity, our hearts go out to them as we secretly thank God that it not us standing at the podium having our dirty laundry aired for all to see.

    Infidelity is extremely difficult to deal with when only you and your spouse know about it. Having the complete world know that your spouse cheated is catastrophic to your self-esteem. It is humiliating and degrading. Divorce seems the only real option to this disgrace. He cheated, you're leaving, that's it.

    Months later we're shocked that these same women who were so publicly humiliated have decided to remain with the spouse who cheated.

    And yet, many women choose to stay with their husbands, try to rebuild their marriages and make them stronger. It isn't just women whose lives are in the spotlight; women from all walks of life remain in a marriage after a cheating husband has confessed his infidelities. There are many reasons for this decision.

    Some stay for religious reasons. They view marriage as sacred, a union sanctified by God. Others stay for the sake of their children. Still others make this decision because of the length of years they have spent with their spouse. Then there are those who have a love deep enough to forgive and go forward together. Whatever the reasons, infidelity is not always an automatic step towards divorce.

    Can these women really overcome the pain and humiliation of infidelity? Will their marriages survive to become a workable partnership once more? Is there married life after the infidelity? The answer to these questions is a surprising yes. It will take time and understanding.

    Marriage in and of itself is a complicated union. Two people make promises to each other and begin to live a life together. Add love and trust to the mix and you have a strong bond between a woman and a man. Most of these unions are successful in that vows are honored and a common ground for living together is planned and accepted.

    Infidelity damages the indelible bond of trust on which all relationships, most especially marriage, is based. If a person chooses to stay with the spouse who cheated there are certain issues to be addressed by both partners.

    The cheating spouse must be truly contrite and make a solid commitment to never again be unfaithful. There can be no compromise about this.

    Trust can never be completely reinstated and the husband who has broken that trust must understand this fact. Knowledge of his daily whereabouts is no longer simply a matter of courtesy; it is a necessity for his wife's emotional health.

    Couples counseling is a must. There are many therapists who deal specifically with issues of infidelity and are especially helpful in charting a constructive course for the marriage.

    The "cheated on" spouse needs to rebuild her self-esteem by taking care of herself emotionally and physically. An exercise plan to release feelings of anger and despair, a healthy diet, will contribute to a feeling of well-being.

    Individual counseling is also needed. Whether you choose to go to a spiritual advisor or a therapist for counseling, it is a necessary part of the healing process for you. You need to understand that his cheating was in no way your fault nor that "the other woman" was in any way "better" than you.

    You do not have to forgive. Acceptance of human frailties is what is needed.

    Marriages can be repaired after infidelity. Time and effort on the part of both spouses need to become part of daily life. Kindness, patience, and reassurance on the part of the husband who cheated are expected.

    Surprisingly the very same infidelity that has the potential to destroy a marriage, can also make a couple realize how close they have come to losing all that is important in their life together. It can work to rebuild a marriage that may become stronger for having survived this breach of trust.
     
  19. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Sep 26, 2011
    Messages: 5,226
    Likes Received: 7
    Trophy Points: 135
    @Kimbweka,nashukuru kwa kunikosea japo nia yako njema but kwa kugha uliyotumia nadhan haikumaanisha kunikosoa tu,Asante kwa hilo,ubarikiwe.
     
  20. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 5, 2012
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    The vice versa applies
    Thank you for your understanding
     
Loading...