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PP1: The lens principle.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Speaker, Mar 11, 2012.

  1. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    PP=People principles

    Hellow wana MMU.
    Napenda katika series zangu za PP niongelee "M" ya kwanza kati ya herufi tatu za MMU
    (Mahusiano,Mapenzi na Urafiki).Lengo ni kuongeza wigo wa discussions na kupeana maarifa ya jinsi
    gani tuishi vyema na tutengeneze mahusiano mema katika jamii inayo tuzunguka.

    Je tuko tayari kutengeneza mahusiano mema na wenzetu?yaani wazazi,marafiki,ndugu,jamaa, na
    majiranii?

    The lens principle ina elezea kwamba
    "Jinsi ulivyo,ndivyo utakavyo waona wenzako".

    Hapa ndipo safari ya mahusiano inapo anzia.Lazima utambue kwamba mtazamo wako
    juu ya watu wengine unatoa picha jinsi gani wewe ulivyo.
    Mtazamo wako wa kwanza kwa mtu flani una elezea una muona ni mtu wa aina gani kwako
    na una elezea pia ni jinsi gani uta tengeneza mahusiano nae.

    Mtu mmoja alikuwa akisafiri kuelekea jiji moja,alipo kuwa akipumzika hotelini alimuona
    mzee nje pia,aka mfuata kutaka kujua jinsi "watu wa mji" walivo:

    Mgeni: Watu wa mji huu wana tabia zipi kwa ujumla?
    Mzee: Huko uliko toka wakoje kwani?
    Mgeni: Wa ajabu sana,hawaaminiki kwa kila kitu,ni wavivu,vibaka,wachawi,kwa kifupi
    ni wa ajabu sana.
    Mzee: Basi,hata katika mji huu ndivyo utakavyo waona,maana wapo wa hivo hivo.


    Mgeni mwingine alikuja pale hotelini,alipo uliza swali kama lile la kwanza mzee kama
    kawaida akataka kujua huko anakotoka wako vipi.

    Mgeni: Kule watu ni waaminifu,wakarimu pia kwa wageni.
    Mzee:Karibu sana,ndivyo utakavyo waona hapa mjini,wapo kama hao.

    Huyu mzee alikua na hekima sana,alijua kwamba jinsi unavyo walezea watu ndivyo ulivyo
    wewe mwenyewe,na ndivyo utakavyo waona hata huko kwingine unako kwenda.

    Haiwezekani wewe unaona mabaya tu ya mtu fulani,haiwezekani wewe uone mwenzako ni mtu
    muovu tu,hakuna hata moja linalo kufurahisha toka kwake,.......Ukikutana na mtu kama huyo anaelezea
    wenzake kwa "maneno machafu mwanzo mwisho,tambua kwamba hiyo ndiyo tabia yake."

    Yule mzee alijua kwamba:
    1.Kama wewe ni mwaminifu,utaamini wenzako.
    2.Kama wewe ni critical,utawaona wenzako kuwa critical.
    3.Kama wewe ni mkarimu,utaona ukarimu ndani ya wenzako.
    4.Kama wewe ni mtu negative/positive,utaona negativity/positivity
    peke yake toka kwa wenzako maana ndivyo ulivyo.

    Je,wewe ni mtu wa kuangalia mambo hasi tu kwa wenzako au unaangalia mambo
    chanya?
    Una waonaje wenzako?
     
  2. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Kumuona mtu kuwa ni mbaya na kusema kuwa mtu huyo ni mbaya ndiyo udhaifu wenyewe..
    Hivyo badala ya kusema mtu ni mbaya ni vyema kumuepuka kama huwezi kumbadilisha..
     
  3. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    "Mbaya" ni general term,kwamba haaminiki au vipi?
     
  4. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Mbaya kwa maana ya matendo yake au tabia zake..
     
  5. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Well,tukirudi kwa yule mzee mwenye hekima alivo kuwa akiwa define wenzake
    ni kwamba ume muona ana tabia mbaya,say mwizi,au haaminiki kwa sababu
    na wewe sio mwaminifu,..

    Waswahili wana msemo kwamba "mchawi mpe mtoto akulelee"
    unadhani hawaogopi kulogewa mtoto?

    Kuna nguvu katika kumwamini mtu,yawezekana hajawahi kuaminiwa
    ndo maana anafanya anayo fanya,lakini kama akipata bahati ya kupata
    mtu wa kumwamini ata toa all the goodness out of him/her ili ku-prove
    watu wrong.
     
  6. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Mara nyingi kuamini mtu ama kutokumuamini kunatokana na mtu mwenyewe pamoja na matendo yake.
    Ukiniambia huyu mtu ni kibaka na nikaona matendo yake ya ukibaka sidhani kama kutakuwa na haja ya kumpa hiyo nafasi ili a prove watu wrong, to me he will simply be a Kibaka..
    Baada ya kusema hayo, bado nasimamia kwenye pointi yangu kuwa kumuona mtu ni mbaya kisha kusema huyu mtu ni mbaya ni makosa..
    Manake Ubaya unabeba maana pana sana, hata walimu wakali mashuleni huwa ni wabaya kwa wanafunzi watukutu.
     
  7. mgeni10

    mgeni10 JF-Expert Member

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    Utavuna Ulicho panda
     
  8. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

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    Mi sikubaliani ha huyo mzee. Namuona kama amesimplify mambo sana.
    Ingekua tunaona mapungufu yetu kila tunapokaa na watu
    Basi tungeshindwa kujifunza kwa kupitia mifano.
    Mimi najua mi ni mbishi (ni mfano tu), na naamini baba sio mbishi,
    so I learn from him to improve on myself
    Ingekua naona watu kama nilivo mimi ningemuona baba mbishi
    na ningeshindwa kujifunza toka kwake.
    So to some extent tunajua mapungufu yetu na tunakubali kua watu wengine wako bora/worse.
     
  9. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Nimependa mtazamo wako Speaker.... I have read the story before (in fact I do have the book ina short Moral Stories); Mimi nilichokipata hapo ni kua Mwanadamu hufafanua mwadamu Mwenzie tokana na kile ambacho anakua anavutiwa ku observe no matter ni matendo yepi huyo mwanadamu hufanya zaidi. In other words huyo Mgeni inaonesha yeye huangalia the bad side ya wanadamu wenzake kuliko the good side... Na hio ndio hutumia kutoa tafsiri ya hao watu.

    Hivo huyo Mzee alitambua kua huyo mgeni hata katika hio jamii ataona ubaya tu na sio uzuri wa hio jamii... For ni wazi Mzee alikua na busara ya kutambua hakuna jamii ambayo ni completely good ama completely bad.
     
  10. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Asante sana kwa msimamo wako TANMO,sijasema sio sahihi,
    uko sawa kabisa.

    Point ni kwamba,utakapo simamia pata kuelezea wewe ni nani.
    Kwa mfano,tu assume unanifahamu vyema,then mtu akakuuliza kwamba
    unamjua Speaker unasema ndio,unaweza mwelezeaje?

    Ukaanza kutoa description yangu kwamba ni Mjeuri,mbishi,mgomvi ana hasira sana etc
    na ukawa umemaliza.
    Kwangu mimi nitakuona nawe ni mtu mshari kama yeye,kwanini?
    Kwa sababu pamoja na kuelezea mabaya yake yote,hujataka kuelezea ni kwanini
    unadhani yuko hivo,unadhani kama naweza badilika au vipi.

    Haimaanishi utakuwa mtu POSITIVE tuuuu,hapana lazima kuna element za negativity
    ambazo tunapo zaliwa kila mtu anakuwa nazo kwa wingi,ila jinsi unavo kuwa unajifunza
    kuziondoa (huwezi kuzimaliza).

    Siwezi kum-describe TANMO kwamba ni mbishi,mgomvi,+ yote mabaya then nika kaa kimya.
    Hata wewe lazima utakuwa na uhakika kwamba nikitoka hapo,lazima nitasema mabaya
    peke yake kuhusu wewe hata kama ume nionesha jema moja.
    .
     
  11. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Lakini kuna msemo ambao sitaki kusema nime utoa wapi (hope utanielewa)
    kwamba "yanayo toka kinywani kwa mwanadamu ndiyo yaliyo jaa moyoni mwake"
    na pia "Moyo wako upo pale kilipo unacho kipenda"

    Mtu hawezi kuongelea mabaya tu juu ya wenzake na useme yeye
    ni mtu mwema,atleast aongelee mabaya na aseme lakini,pamoja na hayo yote
    ana mazuri haya na haya. (ofcourse hakuna anae weza kuongelea positivity kila mara,ila kuongelea
    negativity all the time inaonesha una matatizo wewe sio unao waongelea)
     
  12. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Haha,asante sana.
    Wewe (sio wewe lakini) unaamini kwamba ni mbishi,lakini uko positive ndo maana
    unaona "something good" toka kwa baba.Haimaanishi ubishi ni mbaya,ila unabisha
    ukisimamia nini ndio tatizo.

    Lakini kama ni mbishi katika kutetea jema,hauna tatizo.
    Wewe ni mbishi,lakini kwakua "the real you" sio mbishi unavutiwa na
    kutokuwa mbishi hivyo una jivuta kwenda huko.Waweza kuwa mbishi lakini positive,na
    unaweza kuwa mbishi negatively.

    haha,hiyo itakuja baadae sana inaitwa "The learning principle"
     
  13. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Nimepata taabu sana kukuelewa ila nime fanikiwa.
    Hiyo ni topic nyingine,..."The pain principle",...inaongelea the cycle of hurting.
     
  14. Vaislay

    Vaislay JF-Expert Member

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    mi sitaki kuangalia wengine wameanzaje kusema nisije nikasahau,SPIKA,mm kwenye swala la kumwamin mtu hapo nipo tofaut kidogo...kwasababu ukitaka kuumizwa si rafiki,ndugu au jamaa fanya kosa la kumwamin UTALIA..mi naona cha msingi si kuamn mtu ila mchukulie km alivyo kwa ulinzi wako mwenyewe,binadamu wamegeuka wanyama wakal sikuizi,tunamalizana wenyewe kwa wenyewe kwa tiket ya uaminifu.
     
  15. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Hahaha,hakyanani.
    By the way naitwa Speaker sio Spika,ni watu wawili tofauti.
    Lakini unajua mwizi ukimpa kitu akutunzie kama alikuwa na mpango wa kukuibia
    ata kataa?

    Mara nyingi mtu asiye kuwa mwaminifu ni vigumu sana kumwamini mwenzake,
    na usipo mwamini mtu nao hawata kwamini pia.
    Ili uaminiwe lazima uwe mwaminifu,na kama wewe ni mwaminifu utaamini wengine.
     
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Kila mtu yupo tofauti kwa namna yake.
    Kuna watu nawaona wana matendo mazuri zaidi yangu na wengine nawaona wana mabaya zaidi yangu. Jinsi nilivyo haimaanishi na wengine nawaona hivyo hvyo.
     
  17. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Well,jinsi ulivyo inaelezea unavo waona wengine.
    Kuna sehemu una matendo mazuri yanapelekea kuona mazuri ya wenzako kwa
    undani zaidi.
    Kuna muda una matendo mabaya,yanapelekea kuona mabaya ya wenzako.
     
  18. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    kwahiyo kama nina matendo mabaya ila wenzangu wana matendo mazuri bado nitaona mabaya yao tu?
     
  19. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Hakuna mtu mwenye matendo maovu amewahi ona matendo mazuri ya mwenzake.
    Kwake zuri ni baya,na baya ni baya.
    Hata kama ni maskini na ana njaa,ukimpa chakula atakula lakini atasema
    huyu sijui kaniwekea sumu,mbona leo kanipa chakula?

    Yaani kwake ni ubaya tu hata ufanye nini.
     
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