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Potelea mbali, mimi sikubaliani na ujinga huu……………….!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Mar 7, 2012
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    Je niwangapi tunafurahia kuishi na ndugu zetu mijini? Swali hili lina majibu yenye kuchekesha na kushangaza pia. Ni wachache sana kati yetu ambao tunaishi na ndugu zetu hawa tukiwa na furaha nao. Wengi tunaishi nao tukiwa hatupendi. Tunajikuta tukilazimika kuishi nao kwa sababu, hatuwezi tu kukataa. Unakuta mtu anawajaza ndugu zake nyumbani kwake, halafu anaenda kuwanywea pombe ili awaambie ukweli. Kesho pombe zikiwa zimemtoka kichwani, hasemi nao, anawaogopa. Akiwa huko pembeni analalamika kuhusu hao ndugu zake. Lakini akiwa nao anaonesha kwamba, anawajali na kupenda kuishi nao.


    Kwa nini?

    Ni kwa sababu ya kufungwa na jamii na kushindwa kujiamini. Lakini, pia ni hofu inayotokana na kufungwa na mfumo wa familia mchangamano. Mtu anaogopa kwamba, akimfukuza au kukataa kuishi na ndugu zake, naye akija kuishiwa au kupata shida, ndugu watamkataa. Hivyo anachofanya ni sawa na kuomba mkopo kabla hajashikwa na shida. Kuna wakati wanandoa wanajifungia chumbani mwao kumjadili ndugu ambaye ameng’ang’ania kuishi nyumbani kwao. wanaogopa kumwambia moja kwa moja. Kwa hiyo wanapanga njia ya kumwondoa kwa visa au visingizio vingine.

    Wengi wetu tunaishi na ndugu zetu kwa mtindo kama huu. Tunajitahidi kuwatafutia visa ili waondoke majumbani mwetu. Hawa ndugu zetu nao hawaelewi kwamba, hivyo ni visa vya kuwafanya waondoke. Wao watajua fulani ana roho mbaya tu, ambayo haiwatishi au kuwasumbua wao kuishi hapo nyumbani. Na ndio hapo unajiuliza nyumba ni ya nani, ni nani anayepaswa kupanga aishi na nani na kwa sababu gani? Ni sisi wenyewe bila shaka. Kwa nini sasa tuwe wanafiki hadi kutafuta visa na sababu ili ndugu hawa waondoke majumbani mwetu? Ni kwa sababu jamii imetufunga na tumekuwa watumwa wa mtazamo fyongo wa jamii.

    Nijuavyo mimi, tunapaswa kuwasaidia ndugu wengine, bila kujali kama ni ndugu zetu au hapana. Lakini kusaidia huko hakuna maana ya kulazimishwa kusaidia. Tunasaidia kwa sababu, tunaona wengine wanahitaji na wanastahili msaada wetu, sio kwa sababu jamii imetaka. Kama mtu hastahili msaada hatupaswi kumumiza kwa kumpa msaada huo. Nasema kumuumiza kwa sababu, kama mtu anakuja kuishi kwako bila shughuli wala malengo, nawe ukampa kila kitu humsaidii. Huyu unamdidimiza kwenye ujinga na ukosefu wa ufahamu kimaisha. Baada ya muda fulani, atakuwa hawezi kujisaidia au kuwasaidia wengine.

    Kama ndugu amekuja kwako na unajua kwamba, anachohitaji huwezi kumpatia au hastahili, huna haja ya kumdanganya, huna haja ya kuwa mnafiki. Kama amekuja kwako na unajua hastahili kuishi nawe hapo, inabidi umwambie. Ni vizuri kumwambia kwa upendo kuhusu unachofikiri. Ni vyema akaijua hali halisi. Kama bado anang’ang’ania kuishi hapo kwako, ati kwa sababu wewe ni ndugu yake, huna budi kumnyofoa kwa nguvu. Kumbuka kwamba umwambie ukweli au hapana, atakusema tu, hata kama ukiishi naye kwa wema wa kiasi gani atakusema vibaya tu. Huo ndiyo ubinadamu wenyewe.
     
  2. gango2

    gango2 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 7, 2012
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    aaaahhh kumbe.!!!!!!, hata wife/husband ukiona umemchoka its better ukamwambia ukweli nimekuchoka rudi kwenu, .....
     
  3. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 7, 2012
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    Mtambuzi l aggree with you 100%, lkn Kama kumbukumbu zangu zi sahihi na kama unavyoandikaga humu ni vya kweli; you once stay with ur ndugu when you first come to town right?

    Mimi nilichoamua ni kusaidia ndugu wachache; hawazidi 3 kielimu tu, na wakae bording na wakiwa likizo waende kwa close relatives wao! I love my freedom, nivae few clothes nikiwa home, nikaribishe marafiki, nile ninachotaka etc!

    Kuliko kuumilia moyoni, ni busara kusema nao; after all unawasaidia kuanza kufikiria kujitegemea!
     
  4. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #4
    Mar 7, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Nilikuja town na kukaa na kaka yangu our first born lakini sikuwa *****, niliwajibika pale nyumbani kuuza duka lake nikisaidiana na mkewe huku akinifanyia mipango ya kuendelea kielimu. sikubweteka kama kula kulala, niliwajibika na nilistahili hata mshahara, lakini ile kumtegemea ilitosha kuwa ndio ujira wangu.

    kama umesoma thread yangu nimebainisha wazi kwamba hatupaswi kuishi na ndugu kula kulala, au hatulazimishwi kuishi na ndugu kama uwezo huo hatuna, mimi kaka yangu alinichukua baada ya kuniona nina bidii na ninajituma, hata mimi ninaishi na ndugu kwa utashi wangu sio eti kwa sababu nalazimishwa na jamii au nikikataa ndugu watanitenga.........
    Hebu soma nukuu yangu hapa chini kutoka kwenye uzi wangu hapo juu:

    "Nijuavyo mimi, tunapaswa kuwasaidia ndugu wengine, bila kujali kama ni ndugu zetu au hapana. Lakini kusaidia huko hakuna maana ya kulazimishwa kusaidia. Tunasaidia kwa sababu, tunaona wengine wanahitaji na wanastahili msaada wetu, sio kwa sababu jamii imetaka. Kama mtu hastahili msaada hatupaswi kumumiza kwa kumpa msaada huo. Nasema kumuumiza kwa sababu, kama mtu anakuja kuishi kwako bila shughuli wala malengo, nawe ukampa kila kitu humsaidii. Huyu unamdidimiza kwenye ujinga na ukosefu wa ufahamu kimaisha. Baada ya muda fulani, atakuwa hawezi kujisaidia au kuwasaidia wengine."

     
  5. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 7, 2012
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    Dhana ya transparency ni nzuri, ingawa inahitaji hekima sana ku-deal na ndugu, hususani ndugu wenyewe wakiwa ni kutoka upande wa pili wa ndoa yako. Jambo hili limejijenga kwa sababu ya wengi wetu kujikuta tumeishi kwenye zile extended families na kwa namna moja au nyingine tunalazimika kulipa fadhila kwa style hii.

    Nakubaliana na wewe Mtambuzi, kuwa iwe inafika wakati, tusaidie tu pale tunapokuwa na uwezo wa kufanya hivyo, na siyo kujikakamua na kuanza kuwatukana na kuwafanyia visa wageni walio ndani ya malengo yetu kwa sababu ya kushindwa kuwaambia ukweli tangu awali kuwa huna uwezo wa kuwahudumia, kwa kweli haipendezi.
     
  6. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #6
    Mar 7, 2012
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    Hata wewe umeoa eh!
    Ndio maana nimesema tufike mahali tuache unafiki, na tuwe wakweli wa nafsi zetu, pale ambapo tunajiona kwamba, hatuna uwezo wa kukabiliana na changamoto hiyo, basi tuwaambie bila kupepesa macho kuwa hatupo tayari kuishi nao.
     
  7. la Jeneral

    la Jeneral JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 7, 2012
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    kwangu ndugu akija kusalimia lazima nijue anaondoka lini tokea day one,hyo inasaidia badae kuondoa utata wakati maji yakifika shingoni,kama nakuwa nimemwita kwa ajili ya kumhendeleza kimaisha ilo ni swala lingine na nakuwa tayari nimeshajipanga
    siku hizi maisha yanavyobana lazima ifike mahali tuwe kauzu zaidi ya dagaa maswala ya kuongelea pembeni unalalamikia weee wakati fursa ya kujihami tokea mwanzo ulikuwa nayo ila hukutaka kuitumia sbb ya undugu wa kinafki nafki,na ikumbukwe ndugu lawama
     
  8. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 7, 2012
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    mmmmmh,Anko hili leo limenikaa kooni mie mwenzio siwezi akae akiamua ataondoka ..
     
  9. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 7, 2012
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    Nashukuru mungu nilikaa kwa ndugu kwa miezi mitatu na aliniwezesha kujimudu na nikajitegemea,

    Na mie nimemuiga yeye,km sina uwezo wa kumsaidia mtu ni wajibu wangu kumweleza ukweli,na km ninao uwezo wa kumsaidia mpaka akaweza kusonga mbele nitamkaribisha na kujitahidi kumalizana naye kabla hatujachokana!

    Na huyu anko bana huwa yuko wazi huwa anasema km mtu ulikimbia shuke hukusoma au hueleweki namna ya kusaidiwa wala usimtafute au kwenda kwake maana atakudhamini usiku ule ikifika kesho anakupa nauli utafte pa kwenda so hata ndugu huwa wanamjua na tunamwelewa.
     
  10. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 7, 2012
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    hahahahahah mtambuzi umnikumbusha........ ni kam mwezi tu bibi yangu mdogo alininunia...
    kisa aliniuliza tunaishi wenyewe tu inakuwaje hatuchoki.....
    bahati nzuri dada yangu alimjibu..... alimwambia "waache waishi wenyewe wapange mipango yao ndugu atasaidiwa huko aliko"

    ni vyema kama familia mkawa na msimamo fulani, kusaidiana kupo ila kusipitilize, kama kuna uwezekano wa kumsaidia ndugu alipo asaidiwe huko huko.....
    ikishindikana aje kuishi na nyie afuate sheria kanuni na taratibu.....
    kuna ndugu wengine lawama, ndugu behewa la sita huko anatoka kijijini, anafika kwako 1. bila taarifa 2. ukimuuliza kaja kufanya nini anakwambia kaja kupumzika... ndo atapumzika mwaka mzima na akiondoka mumpe nauli......

    wengine wanakuja na shida sawa, kama shule au ajira au matatizo tu ya maisha.... akifika kwako yeye ndo anajifanya mmiliki...
    mkeo hamueshimu, anarudi atakavyo..... kutwa kuleta vijanaume/ vijanamke vyake..... kazi hafanyi......... anataka atengewe mpaka maji ya kuogaa........ kutibua tibua hodari...... ukimpa kazi atakutangazia ubaya kwa ndugu jamaa na marafiki.......................... lalalalalalaaaa



     
  11. MAMMAMIA

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 7, 2012
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    "Badala ya kumpa samaki, mpe mshipi". "Badala ya kumpa fungu la muhogo, mpe mbegu na jembe akalime."

    Ikiwa kusaida ndugu zako ni kuwajaza nyumba na wao kujaza choo tu, hutakuwa umewasaidia. Wasaidie kujinasua huko huko waliko, na kama wamekuja kwako iwe ni kwa ridhaa na uwezo wako. Kwa mfano, ikiwa ndugu ulijitahidi kumsaidia asome akakataa, huyu hawezi kukuijia tena kuomba msaada. Ikiwa ulimpa mtaji autafuna, huyo ndio kabisaaa. Ikiwa yeye anazaa kila mwaka na ukimfahamisha anakuona "kafiri", wakati wewe una watoto unaoweza kuwatunza, huyu umsaidie nini? Ikiwa umejenga nyumba na mna chumba cha wageni, hicho chumba ni kwa wageni, yaani hata wao wakitaka; na mgeni ni siku tatu na wala sio kuja kuhamia hapo na waume/wake na watoto wao.

    Cha kufanya, kubali uonekane mbaya lakini ndugu zako waelewe na waheshimu msimamo wako.
     
  12. Michael Scofield

    Michael Scofield JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 7, 2012
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    Hapa sawa mkuu!
     
  13. Twande

    Twande JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 7, 2012
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    Ndugu asaidiwe huko aliko mpaka pale tu inapolazimu ndo aje nyumbani! binadamu hawakosi lawama!
     
  14. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 25, 2013
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    hili swali nashindwa kulichangia sababu hayajawahi kunikuta.
    But dada yangu mkubwa yupo hapa ninapo ishi (same city)
    tukipokea wageni lazima waende kwa dada mkubwa, ati?
     
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