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Past katika mahusiano?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanajamiiOne, Jul 19, 2011.

  1. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #1
    Jul 19, 2011
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    Wapendwa wanaJF
    Salamu.

    Kwa muda mrefu nimekuwa nikisikia hii misemo na ushauri kuwa unapoamua kuingia kwenye mahusiano mapya, unatakiwa usimwuulize, wala usiangalie past ya mwenzi wako! Hapa nazungumzia mnapoanza mahusiano yenu. Na wakati mwingine hushauriwa kuwa Maisha yenu wote wawili katika umoja wenu huo yanaanzia pale mlipokutana.

    Najiuliza ili uidefine kuwa hii ni past ya mwenzangu na sitakiwi kujiumiza nayo, haitakiwi kuniworry, unaanzia wapi??
    Mwaka?, miezi? wiki?

    How past is the past?
     
  2. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Kwanza jiulize kwanini unataka kujua?Ungeuliza kabla ya kuanza mahusiano,kuwa kwenye mahusiano ni kuonesha kuwa umemkubali kama alivyo!Kibaya zaidi ni dalili ya kutokujiamini!
     
  3. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Aksante sana Elyer nakubaliana nawe 110% .....unaposema hutaki kuifahamu hiyo past........ina maanisha hutaki kuyajua ya zamani kwa kishwahili..........lakini hiyo zamani inaanzia wapi? Samahani ninapenda kutoa mfano kwa jambazi na changudoa. Kama mpenzi ulonaye sasa hivi zamani alikuwa jambazi...............ili uitupie kwenye kundi la past......inatakiwa iwe kuanzia muda gani? Kama alikuwa jambazi maiaka miwili ilopita, miezi sita au? au kuchunguza hilo nalo ni kudeal na past?? mwe
     
  4. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    IMO kutaka kujua past relationships za Mpenzi wako ni dhahiri kua kuna kitu kinakusumbua kichwani mwa muhusika (mtaka kujua) ambacho kinaendana kabisa na kuweza vunja amani yake/hata mapenzi pia…. Mapenzi meengi ambayo wengi wamepitia kwa kiasi kikubwa vinatakiwa viwe buried sababu ilisha pita… haina umuhimu… kama tatizo afya – chukuaneni mkapime, BUT ndio kuna situations ambazo lazima uelezee kuhusu ex-mpenzi… Na hizo ni kama labda umezaa na mhusika, ama mhusika yuko anga/eneo moja au kugongana mara kwa mara ili tu mpenzi wako mpya asiwe at a disadvantage anapokutana nae… haipendezi ex-mpenzi anajua you a currently sleeping na huyo hali wa sasa yeye haelewi kua you have slept before… akitambua hujisikia vibaya mno! Na asiipo jua aweza kejeliwa na ex wako bila yeye kujua…

    JE is it good to say you past exes?? YES… Only If necessary… kumbuka tu ukilazimisha unapata a Super edited version… huwezi ukawa wazi na kusema labda nilibakwa na mjomba (na hio ni family secret..) huwezi ukaanza kusema nilipo kua chuo for fun mimi na my best friend tulikua na a three some one nite… n.k… labda kama huyo mtu hamko serious!
     
  5. charger

    charger JF-Expert Member

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    Inategemea unataka kujua past ipi past nyingine ukizifahamu zitakusaidia kum handle mpenzi wako,mfano kuna mambo aliyapitia na yaka muumiza so wewe ili usije rudia the samething unatakiwa ujue.

    Lakini pia zipo past ambazo hazisaidii kitu hata kama ukizijua.Hizo ni za kuachana nazo
     
  6. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

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    Na wewe ugly past yako umeiweka wazi kwa mwenzio; nakushauri kabla ya kutaka kujua mufahamishe mabaya yako yote basi ili mwende sawa ikibidi
     
  7. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Ashadii aksante so kuna past ya kujua na past ambayo si vema kuijua!! Nimependa huo mfano wa sleeping with another person ambaye pertner wako wa sasa anamfahamu mh.....kuna mtu alishaleta mada hapa kuwa alishawahi kuwa na mahusiano na shemeji wa mpenziwake huko way back.......hii nadhani kuna umuhimu wa kuangalia namna ya kumfikishia ujumbe mpenzio.....

    Swali langu lipo kwenye kama umeamua ku-tell ndio ulishafanya haya.......ili mpenzi aichukulie ni past inatakiwa iwe ya muda gani? Mfano alowahitembea na shemejiye mwaka uliopita, mwezi uliopita au wiki tatu kabla ya kukutana na huyu.......hizi zote zinaingia kwenye past?? Na kama akiamua kutell, mpenzi anapaswa kuzichukulia kama ni past zisimuumize kichwa na wala asizitumie kumjudge mwenzie??
     
  8. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Nakubaliana nawe Inko, aksante hata mie ninaamini kuna past na past za kutell na not to tell.
     
  9. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    MJ hii post inalenga pande zote mbili naomba unielewe hivyo!
     
  10. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

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    ow ok MwanajamiiOne; historia yenu ni kitu muhimu na kikitolewa kwa hiari kwa wakati muafaka lakini pia isiwe ni ada ama lazima baina yenu na kabla kutaka kufamishana lazima malengo ya kutaka kufahamau yawe wazi..............kwa afya yenu nyote wawili
     
  11. itnojec

    itnojec JF-Expert Member

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    from the minute you start talking all the way back to when he/she was born is his/her past.
     
  12. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

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    Ngoja nimsubiri Mbu aje hapa na mapicha yake ndo ntaielewa hii sredi vizuri.........
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    [​IMG]...kwa mtazamo wangu, the past haina ulazima, unless Ex-s bado wana fit kwenye Ring1, Ring2 na Ring3 of the driver. mfano; ...iwapo Ex's wangu ni JF member, naamini ni jukumu langu kumtahadharisha JF Partner wangu awe muelewa. Same applies kwenye circle ya watu mnaokutana nao kila siku. Hii itasaidia kuondoa zile unforceable "uncomfortable" moments.

    Only the truth, and nothing but The Truth will set you free.
     
  14. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Katika mapenzi unatakiwa ujifanye sikio la kufa ambalo halisikii dawa ukianza kukumbuka hayo
     
  15. itnojec

    itnojec JF-Expert Member

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    binafsi, i don't wish to hear her past stories or tell her mine..what's important is that m with her, that's what counts
     
  16. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...tayari, ushaiona hiyo?...lol! narudi kulala, jana nimekesha kutafuta donors bila mafanikio!
     
  17. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Depends if that past determines your future:-
    • Love life..., hata ile past ya seconds kabla hamjakutana inabidi isikusumbue sababu mahusiano yenu yanaanza pale yalipoanza na ya huko nyuma yatakuumiza bure sababu you were not in the picture
    • Kama ni matatizo ya akili, ugomvi au jambo ambalo linaweza kuwa-affect nyote wawili kwenye mahusiano yenu ya mbele basi hapo inabidi mwenzako ajue... ili awe better prepared
    In short yale yote ambayo yanaweza kujenga uhusiano wenu yawekwe wazi na yale ambayo yanaweza kuweka nyufa kwenye mahusiano yenu should remain in the past where they belong........
     
  18. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

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    Nimeshaiona, naamini mjukuu wangu ameshakuelewa kwahiyo tunaweza kuifunga hii sredi LOL
     
  19. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Past MJ1 in my opinion ni toka the moment mmekubaliana rasmi kua mahusiano yameanza...
    yaaani from that dakika onwards... ya jana/juzi/majuzi yoote ni past yako...
    Thus zoote ulizo taja IMO ni past.. maana suala liko pale pale kua ni kabla tu yake...



    MJI mpaka huyo mpenzi kataka kujua your past (maana sidhani kama mtu anaweza amua tu rusha topic kwa mpenzi ya exes bila kuulizwa) Ina maana tayari inamuumiza kichwa.. hivyo haiepukiki... Na mara nyingi saaana mtu anae taka jua ni yule ambae labda anaona kama vile yuko way below/above your league... au labda kasikia romours kuhusu your past or ex... au kuna jamaa karibu anahisi kisha wahi pita... n.k but haianzi tu from nowhere... Sijui nimejibu sawa?? (on the basis of your question...)
     
  20. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...Binafsi, nakuwa na tahadhari 'na tetemeko linaloweza sababisha mlipuko wa volcano!' Kuna past ambazo ni bora kuzielezea kwa njia ninayojua mwenzangu atanielewa aka akiba ya maneno. Tatizo linakuja kwenye utambuzi, na uelewa...kila mtu ana maamuzi yake. The past can be infinite...Busara ni kukubaliana na msemo 'yaliyopita yamepita, huwezi badilisha!' La msingi ni kujiepusha yasijirudie. Mfano; huo Ujambazi, Uchangudoa,...i.e zile tabia zinazobadilishika.
     
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