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Ooh s..t....................... i was the last one to know

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by KIKUNGU, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. KIKUNGU

    KIKUNGU JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 19, 2012
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    Natumaini weekend ilikuwa nzuri kwa wengi wetu.
    Naomba tu-share uzoefu katika hili jamani kwani nafikiri inawezekana tunayaona haya mambo kwa ndugu,jamaa,rafiki au sisi wenyewe tunayafanya.
    Unakuwa kwenye uhusiano,ndoa au normal relationship na partner/mkeo/mumeo anacheat au ni serial cheater na mtu/watu anaocheat nao wanajulikana kwa rafiki/ndugu/wafanyakazi/jamii unayoishi karibu yao.Au watu wanakuwa na uhusiano huko nje mpaka wanazaa(Wanaume)bila wewe kujua.

    Katika mazingira kama haya je tunatendea haki kama jamii?Katika situation kama hizi je tubaki kimya tu tusubiri mhusika ajue mwenyewe?Kama ni wewe ungependa watu waje wakuambie kuhusu hili au waache mpaka situation itakapo jileta yenyewe?Na utajisikiaje wewe kuwa mtu wa mwisho kujua infidelity ya partner wako?

    Naomba tuchangie na tupeane uzoefu kwani nina uhakika haya mambo yapo sana kwenye maisha yetu ya kila siku na ni sisi tunayoyafanya.
     
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #2
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  3. KIKUNGU

    KIKUNGU JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 19, 2012
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  4. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 19, 2012
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    Katika jamii, mara nyingi watu huogopa kuingilia mahusiano ya watu wengine hususani kama kuna muenendo wa mmoja wao kutokuwa mwaminifu dhidi ya mwenzake. Hii ni kwa sababu taarifa hizo zinaweza kusababisha ndoa/mahusiano kuvunjika na hivyo mtoa taarifa kuonekana ndiyo chanzo cha hilo tatizo ndani ya hiyo ndoa/mahusiano.

    Pia tabia za wahusika na ukaribu wa huyo mtu dhidi ya jamii iliyomzunguka ambayo ikingeweza kumpa taarifa za mwenendo mmbaya wa mwenzake huchangia kwa sehemu kubwa. Kuna wengine hawana urafiki wala mahusiano ya karibu na jamii au familia zao, hivyo ni vigumu mtu kujitosa kutoa taarifa.

    Binafsi nafikiri mambo haya yafanyike
    1. Kila mtu ajitahidi kuwa mwaminifu kwa mwenza wake. Hii itasaidia matatizo yote ya hapo juu kutokuwepo
    2. Kila mtu na ajitahidi kuwa na uhusiano mzuri na watu waliomzunguka. Ni rahisi kupewa taarifa kama mwenendo wako unakubalika ndani ya jamii, lakini ukijifanya kiburi utaendelea kuibiwa huku jamii ikifurahia
    3. Unapopekea taarifa, ni vzr kuzipokea bila jazba na kuzifanyia uchunguzi kwa undani maana si kila taarifa inaweza kuwa ni ya kweli. Nyingine zinaweza kuwa zina lengo la kubomoa familia zenu. Ktk hili pia, si busara kumshushua/kumsema vibaya mleta taarifa kuwa ni mmbea na amekuja kuigonganisha familia, huwezi jua kuwa inawezekana taarifa hizo ni za kweli

    Kwa kusema hayo, binafsi ningependa kuelezwa kama mwenza wangu ni mapepe ili nipate muda mzuri wa kufanya uchunguzi na nikithibitoisha niachie ngazi mapema kabla ya magonjwa hatari hayajanivamia ....

    HP
     
  5. KIKUNGU

    KIKUNGU JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 19, 2012
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    Thanks HP for your comments,i think it is a bit complicated either way.The lasting solutions as one of your highlights is kutoku-cheat,is it possible?just wondering!
     
  6. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 30, 2012
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    This is a tough one, real!
    Nafikiri mtu wako wa karibu sana (kwa maana ya ndugu, au rafiki wa karibu sana) anapaswa akuambie if things are extreme. Ila aanzie kwa cheater kwanza; amuwarn na kama anaendelea then ili kukuokoa hasa kwenye zama hizi za magonjwa.

    Akiwa mbunifu, anaweza akatengeneza mazingira ya wewe kujionea bila mwenyewe, say kukupeleka maeneo ambayo mara nyingi huyo cheater wako anakwenda.

    Ila kwa kweli ni ngumu. na some of us, life tunayolead surely you will be the last one to know!
     
  7. T

    The Infamous JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 30, 2012
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    Atizo moja kubwa hata mtu ukimwambia hakuamini tena anaenda kumwambia mpenzi wake eti flani anasema hivi, mwisho wa siku unaonekana mnafiki dawa mwache aone mwenyewe, mapenzi kitu cha ajabu sana leo maadui kesho marafiki uliyepeleka taarifa unaonekana mchonganishi, ya nini, wacha aone mwenyewe
     
  8. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    The Infamous
    Supose dada yako kaolewa; na unamuona shemeji yako anaharibu na kati ya wadada anaoharibu nao ni muathirika; je utamuacha aje agundue mwenyewe?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    bora usiambiwe ujionee mwenyewe....
     
  10. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 1, 2012
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    ....Kuna kesi ambayo close friends wa mke baada ya kustukia kwamba shemeji yao ana mwanamke wa nje na anamfanyia mambo mengi tu na hata kununua nguo zinazofanana na mke waliamua kwamba wamwambie rafiki yao kuhusu mahusiano ya mumewe, lakini kabla ya kufanya hivyo wakaomba ushirikiano toka kwa wadogo wa kike na wa kiume wa mume ambao wote walikuja juu na kuzuia mpango ule wa kumjulisha dada yao. Madai yao ni kwamba shemeji yao alikuwa anawasaidia sana kwa hali na mali hivyo hawakutaka ndoa na dada yao ivunjike. Pia uhusiano huo wa shemeji yao na mwanamke wa nje waliujua siku nyingi lakini wakaufumbia macho.

    Haya mambo ni magumu. Watu huwa wanaogopa kuambiwa wewe ndio chanzo cha ndoa yangu kuvunjika. Unaweza kudhani unatenda wema lakini kibao kikageuzwa na wewe ndio ukawa mbaya. Mdada mwingine alikuwa analalamika (jamani huyu baba hata aibu hana anamualika GF wake mpaka nyumbani kwenye party) watu wakamtolea nje na kumwambia wewe ndio close friend wa mkewe kwanini usimwambie yule mdada pale mnakula chungu kimoja!? naye akadai hayo hayo kwamba asije kuwa chanzo cha ndoa ya watu kuvunjika.

    Kuhusu kuambiwa labda tu uwape uhuru ndugu na rafiki zako wa karibu kwamba kama kuna kitu kama hicho hata siku moja wasisite kuja kukwambia kwa kuhofia lawama kwamba wao ndio waliosababisha ndoa ivunjike (kama itatokea hivyo) lakini wako ndugu na marafiki wengine hawana simile. Wakiona kitu kama hicho basi huwa wanatoa onyo kali sana kwa muhusika ukijifanya kichwa ngumu basi inaweza kabisa kula kwako.
     
  11. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    It is a tough one The Boss
    Assume wewe ndio muhanga ktk hili; na matendo anayofanya mkeo ni ya aibu yaani hadi mtoto mdogo anajua!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  12. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    utafiti wangu binafsi
    ni kuwawatu wengi huwa wanajua kuwa their partner wana cheat..
    kabla hata ya kuambiwa
    but wana pretend walikuwa hawajui
     
  13. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    I wish ningekuwa na moyo mgumu kama huo; honestly l real wish!

    Hivi huyo mtu anakuwa amempenda mwenzi wake kweli au waishi pamoja tu. Kuna rafiki yangu aliniambia many couple wanaishi kwa ajili ya conviniency tu; na sio hizo dreamy sweet life tunazozifikiria!
     
  14. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    It's better niambiwe before things gets more worse..hua inaleta picha mbaya sana endapo kila mtu mtaani anafahamu but muhusika hajui,hii inatokana na watu kuogopa kusema kutokana na nature ya huyo anayesalitiwa,mwingine ukimwambia anapanic na kwenda kukutaja kwa mumewe/mkewe but kuna wengine wanajua jinsi ya kuhandle that matter ikiwa ni pamoja na kufanya uchunguzi kwanza...
    Hakuna mtu anayependa kuonekana chanzo cha mahusiano flani kuvunjika ndo mana watu wanakaa kimya..
     
  15. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    Tatizo ni kuwa hiyo suspicion yako iko conclusive kiasi gani? (Nataka risechi pepa hapa, lol). Wengine huwa tunajua kuamini like little babies. Na wengine sio suspicious like dogs kila saa pua juu juu kunusa. Unaweza kumkuta gesti kumbe ni colleague wake, ama cousin wake lol!
    Niligundua ndugu yangu mkaka ana affair nikanyamaza. Kuna siku baada ya affair ya kwanza kujulikana na mke kuwa police dog, akaenda kufanya fujo baada ya kudanganywa lokesheni wakati alishastuliwa na wapambe. Alisindikizwa na dadake, ajabu ndugu yangu anaona kuwa adui ya ndoa yao ni dada wa mkewe na sio yeye mwenyewe kwa kuwa na affair! Sasa nimegundua mkewe nae ana affair. Nimenyamaza kama mwanzo.
     
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